For my 31st birthday, I got tattooed with one of my favorite people. These three tattoos mean so very much. In the process, I started slowly giving my body back to myself.
Tag: Survivor
11… Phrases People Have Responded With to My Writing
I'm a writer specializing in social justice and a memoirist trying to change the world through awareness. Being open about the realities of life after rape and the mental struggles that go along with that puts me in an interesting position. People have quite the reactions and say some exceptionally dumb things.
Seven Years Ago Tonight I Was Raped For the Last Time
Scrolling through Facebook's On This Day page, I was reminded that seven years ago tonight. I was raped for the last time.
Past Me Would Be So Disappointed In Present Me
I hate motivational mantras... But my least favorite are the "If past you could see you now, they'd be so proud." No. Past me would be very disappointed and even angry at the way my life looks now. I don't think this mantra is targeted at over achievers who were abused emotionally/psychologically/financially/physically/sexually over the course of 23(ish) years. But I'm not dead!
I Am Not Trauma Bonding
I am not trauma bonding. I will give the rundown of my past to new people in my life because I want them to find out the violence I've endured from me and not a tweet or Instagram post. It feels like the polite thing to do.
What Self Worth?
Self worth is something I place a high priority on... in other people. It doesn't even exist in my emotional vernacular. The entirety of my life, my worth has based on my appearance and what I can provide to others. Worth and love have always been transactional. I'm no innocent, but I have been left to fend for myself, scrounging for and happily accepting any love, even if all the only love I can find has been coupled with abuse and rape.