RaeAnna + A Nerdy Lifestyle
Sometimes, I write things that I think come close to explaining how I feel without being too much or too little and hits the right balance of darkly realistic and funny. Sometimes, I write things that make me think, hmmm... maybe I'll be good at this one day. Anxiety says, "Simmer down, god complex."
Being proud of other people is so easy for me, but finding an ounce of pride for, in, myself... impossibly hard. So, in the vein of loving hard things and being a better person, I decided to give myself this exercise in self-harm, I mean, self-love. I'm doing my best, I didn't say I was doing great.
I tattooed his name in the place he just loved to bite as a reminder of all that he had done for me. I had no idea what he would go on to do. He saved his mom from me. He has saved me from me so many more times.
I have chosen to take the unpopular route: Disowning my parents. It's a hard decision, and one I live with every day. But it is the best thing for me. Over two years no contact, it's only been in the last six months words and stories have started pouring out of me.
I'm single, but I’ve dated. 31, never married, no kids. I have yet to make someone projectile vomit when they look upon me. I have a pretty successful career, not lucrative, but successful. I’m tall. I wouldn’t say I’m a catch, but I have enough going for me that I could catch a date if I felt so inclined. I'm pretty confident, and I genuinely don't hate who I am. I have spent a good bit of my adulthood in relationships with people, and some of them have said some things that have somehow not affected my confidence. I like other people's opinions about me. Most of the time, it helps me grow... But these, not so much.
April of 2022, I made the decision to consistently exercise. I did, then life happened. In November, I got a bougie ass gym membership. I've been lifting with regularishness for two months, and holy wow have there been some changes. I'm getting a new body, and I'm trying to figure out if I like it. But also what everyone else says about protein... I found out they're right.