Books, NonFiction

Thank You For My Service by Mat Best

Worth A Read Yes: Entertaining and Honest
Length 240
Quick Review Mat Best was a Ranger before contracting and becoming known for his youTube channel, tshirt/whiskey/coffee companies, oh, and he made a movie. He’s entertaining as hell in his book Thank You For My Service

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Best is a badass, but I belong to a Marine family. | Thank You For My Service
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Thank You For My Service by Mat Best.

As military adjacent, I’m interested in military nonfiction and memoirs, but as a critic I’m always wary because I’ve read some racist bulshit masquerading as war memoirs. Mat Best does a better-than-most job at balancing the realities of war with humanity in Thank You For My Service. 

Best was a Ranger in the 75th Ranger Regiment for five active military deployments before working and deploying multiple times as a private contractor. While working as a contractor, he created a youTube channel capitalizing on his creative side to document his time, opinions, and experiences as a member of the military. The channel lead to a partnership, which created a tshirt company, whiskey company, production company, a movie, and a coffee company. He’s kind of a jack of all trades, it seems. 

The military is a completely different way of life. It’s hard to understand if you’re not in it. Even as a milso, it’s not my way of life, but I am more familiar with it than others. If you’re not into a morbid sense of humor, don’t read Thank You For My Service because that’s a huge part of the narrative and the military. Jokes and rude humor are essential. To be honest, the book would be super weird if he didn’t include dark jokes. Best redacts certain words, even whole sections of text, to maintain anonymity and secrecy. This underpins the fact he had a dangerous job, and even though he’s cracking jokes, people’s lives are at risk every moment of every day. 

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I decided to pose with Thank You For My Service by Mat Best at the Aviation Memorial on MCAS New River in Jacksonville, North Carolina.

War is war. People killing people. War memoirs tend to dehumanize the enemy in a plethora of ways. It’s part of the job, and it would be hard not to when you see your friends and colleagues dying. Best doesn’t sugar coat the feelings he had in theater, but he also makes sure the reader knows on the other side of his gun are people. The fact he didn’t use racial slurs impressed me. He does er on the side of “kill the enemy,” but that was literally his job.

Best is confident, funny, and smart. He writes about his experiences leading up to enlisting, deployments, Ranger school, loss, getting out, private security, joining and being a private contractor, and figuring out his life. He doesn’t shy away from discussing what he went through getting out of the military. Being in his early twenties but feeling disconnected from his peers. So many military guys feel this way when they get out after their first enlistment. 

He and I, I am sure, have a lot of differing opinions, but he’s also a person I would have a ton of fun grabbing coffee with or joking over a bonfire. Throughout Thank You For My Service he emphasizes the sense of community he had in the military. It’s true, whether you’re in or military adjacent, when you meet someone who is military, you have something to talk about or bond over. 

Memorable Quotes|
“Thinking you’re going to die and wanting to die are totally different things. I didn’t have a death wish. It’s just that, in my experience, the more you deploy and face the dark realities that exist in life, the more comfortable you become with the idea of death.”
“…being immersed in Ranger culture for four straight years had affected how I saw the world and, more to the point, how the world saw me.”

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Title: Thank You For My Service
Author: Mat Best
With: Ross Patterson and Nils Parker
Publisher: Bantam Books
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9781524796495

Books, NonFiction

Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari

Read Yes
Length 279
Quick Review Aziz Ansari is as confused with the world of love and dating as the rest of us are, so he wrote a book about it.

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Aziz Ansari talks about how much he loves food in Modern Romance, so I had an ice cream at Twisty Treat. | Romper (best thing ever) | Flippy Floppies | Sunglasses

Love is tough. Kinda like life. Love, dating, relationships, breakups, and marriage (probably not in that order) have changed in my [dating] lifetime, and it has certainly changed over the past couple of generations. Aziz Ansari decided to write Modern Romance about the conditions people face when existing in the dating world. He worked with researchers so it would be more than observational humor. There is a lot of science in this one and some laughs.

Ansari begins with the basics of what dating used to be like. For a woman: Need man or die. For a man: Need woman or no babies, no help, no food, no sex, no one to come home to. 🙁 Dating changed, but still had some of those basic elements in the last century. Most people married for love instead of need, but the marriage age was far lower and people made due with who was in the viscinity. Now, marriage is not necessary for survival. People are searching for soul mates instead of a good enough mate. Also, the internet. Game changer in Modern Romance because there weren’t tons of options outside of the ‘where I am located.’ Now, internet dating and apps make the WHOLE world open.

One thing I really appreciate is Ansari went out of his way to acknowledge how love and dating is still different for men and women, “If you were a woman, you had far less time to find a man. True love? This guy has a job and a decent mustache. Lock it down, girl.” No shit. Romance is still different for women today because, well, lots of reasons. Ansari did not make it seem like everything is the same for men and women because it’s not.

The book explored dating in the United States and the world through focus groups in New York, Tokyo, Paris, and Buenos Aires. There were also conversations had with women in Qatar and other places in the U.S. Honestly, the dating scene sounds pretty horrific in Tokyo, Buenos Aires, and Qatar. The focus groups and science helped bring a lot of credence to what Ansari was saying, and it also proves a lot of personal observations to be fact and not just observations.

Modern Romance isn’t all just science and statistics. It’s pretty funny. Ansari has a tendency towards hilarious and prolonged tangents. If you’ve ever heard me tell a story, this is something I do and appreciate. I also discovered, Ansari and I have a similar approach to choosing restaurants and a passion for food. Although, I don’t think this is terrible special considering everyone I spend time around has an incredible passion for the culinary arts.

Side Notes:

  • Aziz, I hope it worked out for you and the juicer.
  • Statistic: iPhone users are twice as likely to sext as Android users. Android users are by and large nerdier than iPhone users. We (Android users) have less opportunity or second party interest to sext…. It’s not our fault.
  • The young, body, sex positive women give me so much hope. I wish I had that kind of confidence at their age.

All in all, Modern Romance was not at all what I expected. It was very interesting and funny. I wouldn’t say I learned a ton, but I read a whole bunch. I’ve also done my fair share of dating the old fashioned way and via technology, so the love truths were duhs from me.

Memorable Quotes
“Today, if you own a smartphone, you’re carrying a 24-7 singles bar in your pocket.”
“Nowadays the Internet is my chubby friends. It is the whole world’s chubby friend.”

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Title: Modern Romance
Author: Aziz Ansari
With: Eric Klinenberg
Publisher: Penguin Press (Penguin Random House/Penguin Group)
Copyright: 2015
ISBN: 9781594206276

 

Books, NonFiction

In Love with the World by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

Worth a Read Meh
Length 288
Quick Review Rinpoche decided to leave the comfort of his home to travel for three years killing off who he used to be to become someone new.

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In Love with the World by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche | Eating ice cream at Sweet Cup in Houston | Shirt | Pants | Shoes

Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche was already revered within his religion when he decided to leave his community in the middle of the night to experience life and the world in a new way. In Love with the World is his experience as a wanderer for three years.

Rinpoche grew up within the faith of Tibetan Buddhism and had trained his entire life. He had never experienced life in any other capacity than through the lense of Tibetan Buddhist. One night, he gave no notice to his community. He left. He saved a little money, which is harder than you’d think. He wrote a letter explaining why he left and that he would return in three years. He was 36 years old. In Love with the World is as much a book about his emotional and mental transformation as it is about his physical journey in the world.

There is a sense of who people are by their titles or their clothing. Rinpoche wears clothing screaming buddhist and has the titles and achievements of Master of the Karma Kagyu and Nyingma lineages of Tibetan Buddhism and is the overseer of the Tergar Meditation Community. He’s a big deal. He is also a person with anxieties and fears and joys and a sense of humor. For as incredibly wise as he is, he is also funny. I highly enjoyed this tidbit, “I had felt rescued by my training more than once, even though that same training ensured the practical life skills of a lapdog.” It’s funny but deeply insightful. He has a knowledge base that is incredibly helpful and meaningful but doesn’t go very far when you’re stuck on a train with just about nothing.

I really enjoyed reading In Love with the World because it is full of wonderful insights into a life completely different than my own. It would be a great read for vacation or on a plane. Something to dive into.

tMemorable Quotes
“I had set off on my own to intentionally seek this disruption through what I had been thinking of as an ego-suicide mission.”
“Until we accept the truth  of impermanence, ignorance and confusion will darken our days.”
“While the luminous mind never dies, the experience – as with any experience, no matter how transformative – was just another cloud passing by.”

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Title: In Love with the World; A Monk’s Journey Through the Bardos of Living and Dying
Author: Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche with Helen Tworkov
Publisher: Spiegel & Grau
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9780525512530

Books, NonFiction

Under Red Skies by Karoline Kan

Worth a Read Yes
Length 320
Quick Review A memoir about growing up under the one-child policy in China as a second child and the collision between traditional and modern values.

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Under Red Skies by Karoline Kan at Iowa State University in Ames. | Shorts | Shirt | Sandals | Sunglasses |

For many of us, it’s hard to imagine living in a world where there is a ban on how many children you can have.* It is even harder to imagine one’s existence being illegal. Karoline Kan grew up in both of those realities. She documents her coming of age story in her memoir Under Red Skies.

Chinese history is not common knowledge for most Americans. Tiananmen Square might ring a bell if you were really paying attention in history class. Thankfully, Kan starts Under Red Skies off with a brief historical timeline starting in 1945 with the Chinese civil war to ground the reader in the history affecting the world she grew up in. Most people are aware of the one-child policy in China. For the most part, the effect that policy has on the people probably does not come to mind. Kan’s mother wanted a second child and did everything in her power to make it happen, which is why Karoline Kan is in this world.

The women in China endured a great deal of hardship because of the one-child policy. Kan bore witness to forced sterilization. She was there when the government kidnapped her mother to force her into a tubal ligation. Surgeries were done by non-qualified doctors in outdoor tents. Many women became ill and suffered lifelong difficulties due to these procedures. Some women even died. The first year, 1983, more than 16 million women were sterilized.

Communism rocked the foundations of the Chinese culture. Under Red Skies touches on a great deal of her experiences. Religion was banned; people were arrested, reeducated, beaten, and even killed for having religion. Hukou was a fundamental part of Kan’s growing up. It defined where people lived and where they could go. Essentially, hukou defined who they were. People very rarely amounted to any more than what their family’s had. Kan’s parents worked hard to make sure she and her older brother were not as limited by hukou.

Under Red Skies is about more than just the one-child policy. It’s about growing up in a changing time. With the advancement of technology, life in China was changing. Traditional values clashed with modern values. Kan was born in 1989 and grew up in a time of change. She grew up to become a journalist and a writer. Sharing her story and the story of so many other people.

Kan writes a moving and brilliant memoir. Her experiences are incredibly unique as a second child during a time where that was wrong. She is also incredibly relatable but does not shy away from the gut wrenching details of her childhood. Under Red Skies is a beautiful testament to love and dedication.

*Considering everything that is going on in the U.S. states of Alabama and Georgia where abortions are all but banned. Limiting the number of children a person or couple can have is the exact opposite of what is happening.

Memorable Quotes
“Globally, the voices of young Chinese – especially those of young Chinese women – are often neglected.”
“Scholars believe 30 to 60 million girls “disappeared” because of the One-Child Policy.”
“China was far from being a free country.”

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Title: Under Red Skies
Author: Karoline Kan
Publisher: Hachette Books
Copyright: 2019
ISBN:9780316412049

Books, NonFiction

Life Will Be the Death of Me by Chelsea Handler

Worth a Read Yes
Length 256
Quick Review Chelsea Handler’s never been afraid of the truth. In her latest memoir, she sits with personal trauma in a way she has not before. Laugh out loud funny with a serious edge.

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Photo shoots with a dog are exhausting. Life Will Be the Death of Me by Chelsea Handler isn’t.

I love Chelsea Handler. I have read several of her books and watched her TV show fairly religiously. When I saw she had a new book coming out, I had to have it. Life Will Be the Death of Me is still laugh out loud funny, but she tackles her mental health in a serious way.

Chelsea Handler has made her living making people laugh. I think it’s easier to make people laugh in person than on the page, but I have always been giggling with my nose in her books. Life Will Be the Death of Me deals with death in a serious way. Her brother died when she was very young, and that experience changed her and her family forever. Throughout the book, she talks about her grieving process several decades after his death. She visits a psychiatrist, who helps her work through her issues.

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We can be cute. I had to hide a treat in my cleavage….

I love her writing style and voice in Life Will Be the Death of Me. She’s one of those people whose voice shines through anything she touches. It’s probably one of the reasons she is so successful. I think for the first time in her books – I have not read all of them, don’t quote me – she spends more time being serious than being funny. Her honesty and self reflection are brilliant.  

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She’s not eating the apple. Treat in my hand. She’s eating my hand.

My two favorite parts of Handler’s memoir are this quote: “How can it be that a swab of saliva can determine a dog’s genetic heritage yet there isn’t a more precise way to determine the age of a dog at this juncture in modern society?” We are both rescue dog moms. As the proud mama of a rescue dog, I identify this on a very deep level. I wish I knew the age of my dog, but I do not. Also one running theme throughout Life Will be the Death of Me is her anger towards Trump. There is a lot, a LOT of anger being funneled in his direction, and I love it. I personally think almost all evil is his fault, at this point in time. Darth Cheeto sucks donkey balls.

If you want some laughs and some insight. I say check out Chelsea Handler’s latest book Life Will Be the Death of Me. If nothing else, you’ll giggle a few times, and there are really cute pictures of her dogs and family.

Memorable Quotes
“Having an older brother is a lot like a crush – in fact, it is a crush.”
“No person is just one thing.”

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Title: Life Will Be the Death of Me
Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Spiegel & Grau
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9780525511779

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What a winner. Dog butt.
Books, NonFiction

The Art of Leaving by Ayelet Tsabari

Worth a Read Yes
Length 336
Quick Review Ayelet Tsabari was born and raised a Yemeni Jew in Israel. The death of her father was a catalyst leading her into a transient lifestyle always leaving for her next “home.”

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The Art of Leaving by Ayelet Tsabari | Romper | Black Pumps

The Art of Leaving is an apt title for this moving and sometimes cringe worthy memoir. What can be seen as a memoir about leaving people and places can also be read as a search for belonging, home, and being seen. People yearn to belong to someone, somewhere. Ayelet documents her life of wandering around the United States, loving, gaining citizenship in Canada, roaming Southeast Asia, returning to Israel, becoming a mother. She is not only leaving people and places, she’s leaving herself. The parts she doesn’t like, the parts she doesn’t want in her narrative, the parts that other people have forced upon her. Tsabari yearns to belong in the world and in her own skin. 

Tsabari grew up in the Tel Aviv area of Israel. She was the daughter of a beloved lawyer and the second youngest in a large family. At the tender age of ten, her father passed away. She spent her adolescence rebelling and searching for an identity while simultaneously flaunting and avoiding the stereotypes hounding her as a Yemeni and a woman. She joined the army as all Israelis do; instead of being a good soldier, Tsabari pushed all the boundaries and buttons (literally). After completing her time, she left. Exploring life in foreign lands, she did what many young people do: experiment in many ways. At one point landing on a beach in Goa, India, she didn’t even own shoes.

I had no idea about the racism in Israel towards people of Yemeni heritage. The Art of Leaving greatly opened my eyes to a culture and country I know very little of. The plight of Yemenis in Israel is reminiscent of the treatment of blacks in the United States; different, of course, but similar. Tsabari references childhood bomb shelters and gas masks like they were as every day as an ice cream and a swing set. Maybe, they were.

Tsabari touches briefly on the irony of her very Jewish urge to wander and find a home when her home is Israel in The Art of Leaving. Jewish people wandered for centuries searching for a place to call home with no success. She wanders with the same yearning of her ancestors. She looks for a home for her body and a home for her soul. 

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In Chicago’s Little Italy | The Art of Leaving | Romper | Pumps 

I loved how Tsabari writes her memoir. It is very much in the present even though the events are in the past. The syntax and tense pull the reader into her life, identity, and crisis of being. There is a transparency between herself and the reader. She has no qualms about looking back into her diary and stating she wrote a story she could live with. Human. Reshaping stories and lives to fit in a pretty box. Her narrative was not the only narrative reshaped with years and in memories. Her great-grandmother was demonized and hated. Life is rarely as simple as walking away. Life and stories are complex and layered. Many of Tsabari’s life choices are questionable at best and downright stupid at worst. That’s the point. We all make choices in moments without thinking or ignoring what should be done. Tsabari took her own path and doesn’t apologize for it. I always admire the unapologetic even when I want to save them from their mistakes, which you can’t do. Saving people doesn’t really exist. 

The Art of Leaving is a very personal, unique, and beautiful memoir. Even though she grew up under very unique circumstances, her story is very relatable. Many people wander with the need to find home.  

Plot hole question: What happened to your feet??? I need to know!

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Memorable Quotes
“…they are proof that you don’t have to stop traveling to grow up.”
“Leaving is the only thing I know how to do.”
“Stories to her were luxuries, like dreams and regret.”
“I never feel that much anymore, which I suppose is the trade-off for not falling apart.”
“I didn’t want to become someone else. I wanted to be me.” (Motherhood)

Title: The Art of Leaving
Author: Ayelet Tsabari
Publisher: Random House
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9780812988987