11..., Lifestyle

11… Ways Life Is Being Nice to Me Right Now

Enjoying a quiet moment in a peony garden in Iowa. | Dress | Earrings

Life is a cluster fuck right now; there’s no better way of putting it. COVID has done a number on people, economies, jobs, politics, society, the world. You name it, it’s been touched by COVID. This year has felt like the longest, gloomiest day ever. COVID is the single most pervasive thing I have encountered in my entire life. Sex, money, and power might be more pervasive, but it’s a close race. 

Last week, I wrote about eleven shit things going on in my life right now. Optimism and positivity do not come naturally to me. I’m an upbeat person with a morose soul. I’m trying to keep things happy inside my head because I have six fuzz balls depending on mommy to not spiral into a well of sadness. They need and deserve a happy mommy who can talk in a high pitched puppy voice coming from her heart and not faked.

Here are eleven ways life is nice to me.  

  1. I have six amazing dogs that make me feel more loved than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. Love just pours out of every possible opening of my soul for these dogs. I wish I had six bodies and all the money I could possibly need so every inch of my body and second of my time could be spent loving them. Alas, I have work to do so I can pay for their extravagant eating habits. Taking in a rescue and four puppies was borderline bonkers, but it is the best decision I have made. It’s been the best thing I have ever done for my soul. I love them. 
  2. I own a house. Yay for housing. That one was touch and go for a while, which was rough. We’ve been in the house for three full months, almost four. It’s still a mess, but it’s ours. Eventually things will get done, but I’m enjoying watching the puppies grow into dogs in their home. No more moving! For a while at least.
  3. Not traveling. I hate writing this one, but in its own way, not traveling has been a good thing. I’ve been able to concentrate on my family and dogs. I miss being on the road and the trips I was supposed to take, but I will never get the puppy months back. Scotland and all the other places will still be there. The money I would have spent on trips has gone to the dogs or kept safe for travels at a later date. I’ve been able to put some roots down in the new area of Houston I live, which I was never able to do because I was always off on another adventure. 
  4. Dancing has always been a part of my life. I love it. I trained to do it professionally for a long time. Obviously, that didn’t pan out. I haven’t danced in years and years and years. Partially because of money. Partially because of time. Partially because I was never anywhere long enough to find a dance studio. Well, I’ve been able to start dancing again, and I’ve found some really lovely new friends!
  5. I have always loved big picture windows. I never thought about or wanted to buy a house, so I always admired other people’s beautiful windows. Our house has these awful original windows from the 70s. They’re not pretty, and they’re really not energy efficient. Replacing windows is expensive. We can’t do the whole house at once, but we decided to put new windows in the living room and a new sliding glass door in the dining room. Wow! I love it. They’re big and beautiful, and they make being stuck at home so much better aesthetically. Oh and it took a HUGE chunk out of our electric bill!
  6. Work is slow. I miss having oodles of work to do. It seems like a bummer, but it’s a blessing. Having less work to occupy my time has allowed me the ability to raise my dogs and provide them with a stable and healthy environment. I have the time to make sure their needs are met. I’ve been able to get to know them and pay attention to their individual personalities and nuances, which has enabled me to catch health concerns long before I would have if I would’ve had my usual work load. Slowing down has been a gift to me and my dogs. 
  7. I’ve done a lottle retail therapy. There have been some seriously good sales because of COVID, and I took advantage. I didn’t need to, but I did. And someday, I’ll get to wear these super cute clothes I just bought again. Also I finally found a computer bag I like, so I don’t have to put my computer in my purse anymore. Woo!
  8. Having a ginormous couch is the best thing ever. Fuckers it was expensive. I hate spending money, but buying a giant, comfy couch was a really, really excellent use of money. I’ve been dealing with health issues, so I’ve been clocking in some serious couch hours. It’s big enough for the entire family to sit on, and it’s blue. Wins all around. 
  9. I have learned so much about pop culture. I really hate being unproductive, but I also really love it. I miss getting shit tons of things done and going everywhere and doing all the things. But I also love not getting to. Being at home and binging Netflix/Hulu/Disney+/Amazon. I’m super unproductive in a tangible way. The blog is floundering. My work is slow. Boy am I catching up on pop culture! I’ve learned so much useless crap about the world and generation I live in. Who knew about Memes? Apparently everyone, and now I do too!
  10. Cooking and baking is something I love to do. But I’ve done exactly almost none of that during the pandemic. Instead, I have been embracing the exhausted mom-life and supporting local places through delivery. And now that I live somewhere more conducive to ordering in, I have loads of options! Just last night, I had amazing pot roast that did not require me spending hours in the kitchen cooking. 
  11. I have spent more consecutive time with my boyfriend than ever before. I think I still like him. We’ve definitely had more tête-à-têtes than usual, but that’s because we’ve had more concentrated time together, even though we’ve lived together for four years. Gotta love COVID!

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Visiting Vienna; Life After The Puppies Left Me

Vienna watching the horses in the pasture.
Vienna exploring the woods.
Being cautiously curious about the really big dogs!

When I brought Tess home, I would have never, in a trillion years, imagined my tiny dog would be filled with thirteen puppies. THIRTEEN! I just about had a heart attack when the vet came in with the news and the x-ray proof. It is still one of the wildest facts I’ve had to digest. I didn’t know what we were going to do with thirteen puppies. That’s thirteen births, thirteen mouths to feed, thirteen vaccinations, thirteen lives to watch over. Thirteen homes to find. I was mostly worried about the thirteen homes. 

I am a tiger mama. I would do anything for my babies. I knew I was not going to let the puppies go to just anyone. I vetted everyone who was interested in a puppy. I did home checks, interviewed, and made them sign contracts. I wanted to make sure every single puppy would be in a home that would love them and take care of them forever. I even made my very best friend and my parents sign a contract. There were zero exceptions made. Tiger mama. Even though nine of the puppies are no longer mine, there is nothing I would not do for them and their parents. Need a babysitter? I got you. Have a question at three in the morning? Call away. Want a hand to hold at the vet? Give me ten minutes. We’ve got this!

I found eight homes. Five found homes in Houston: two with my close friends, three with (now) new friends. One went to a wonderful home in Nebraska. Two stayed with my parents. One went to my best friend. Each and every person/family is lovely. They’re crazy dog parents like me. I couldn’t have asked for better families for them. Honestly, I’d let them all adopt me. Everyone has been beyond wonderful and keeps me updated with pictures and videos and anecdotes. It is just the best outcome I could have asked for. I have even gotten to dog sit for a few of them.  

Giving them up was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. If I could have kept them all, I would have. But that’s not fair to the puppies. They deserve to have all the attention. In a home full of dogs, I wouldn’t have been able to give them the attention they deserve. I found joy in pairing each puppy with the right family. Active puppies went with active people. Shy puppies went to families with patient hearts. The puppies attached at the hip stayed together. They all ended up exactly where they were meant to. And they are so incredibly happy and loved and safe. 

I never pressured anyone into a puppy because it’s a huge decision. A life changing decision. A financially, socially, emotionally, life altering entity coming into a home and peeing on things. A dog will be a part of your life for fifteen years (fingers crossed). They are family. My best friend, Alex, had been talking about adopting a dog someday. As in, not now. He wanted to get settled into his post-military life. I never even mentioned him taking a puppy because he’d been clear about a dog is for future Alex. Two weeks after the puppies were born, he said he wanted one. I thought he was joking. He wasn’t. I suggested March for him. She was the right combination of playful, active, funny, cuddly, and smart he needed. Each of the puppies is special, but she was specially suited for Alex. He met her at eight weeks old and fell in love. I delivered her to him on my birthday when she was twelve weeks. It was hard saying goodbye, but I knew I would get to see her again and watch her grow up. 

Vienna is an active girly, who loves to run and explore.

Before March was even four weeks old, Alex was sold. We video called often so he could see the puppies and “get to know” March. I told him to start thinking of a name so she could get used to her new name. They were all asleep in their various squishy shades of tan, brown, and black. He said, “They look like sausages; I’m going to name her Sausage.” I responded with, “No puppy for you. You can’t name her Sausage.” In his ever quippy manner, “Fine. I’ll name her Vienna. Vienna Sausage.” I tried to talk him into taking two so he could have a Vienna and a Genoa, but he is the very proud doggy daddy to Vienna. 

I was able to visit them in August when I went to Iowa. I was nervous she wouldn’t remember me, but she did. She is growing up into the sweetest and most playful dog. Her personality is really shining through now that she doesn’t have to compete with twelve other puppies for attention.

Raising puppies is hard work. Really hard work. Emotionally and physically exhausting work. Twelve weeks is not a long period of time, but it’s long enough to fall completely in love with thirteen individual puppies. For their personalities to be engraved on my heart. Being with them 24/7 is grueling but amazing. I watched them grow, see their eyes open, teach them how to eat solid food, clean up poop, and more. I got to know their unique personalities. Everyone asked which was the best puppy or who was my favorite. The truth is, I didn’t have a favorite. I couldn’t choose. They’re all perfect and special and wonderful. They’re so different. I love them all.  

The puppies have been with their furever families for three and a half months, and it is an absolute joy to watch all the puppies grow into themselves and their families. I know I did the right thing taking Tess in and caring for them until their furever families took over. I knew from the beginning it would break my heart, but it’s the good break. A happy break, knowing they’re in the best place for them. I miss them every day, and sometimes, I look through the thousands of pictures I have. The fact each family takes the time to keep me updated on their growth, development, health, and happiness means more to me than they could ever know. 

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

11..., Lifestyle

11… Ways Life is Being Difficult Right Now

Gotta love the help I have at all times.

Life is always difficult. I would like to meet the person who says it isn’t and learn their secret. Until that person makes themselves known, I’m going to continue operating under the premise: life is hard, and there is always that obstacle, that health issue, that person, that work project, that special something that makes life a little less pleasant than I’d like it to be. Sometimes all of those somethings at once, which is a total bugger of a situation. 

In so many ways my life is really lovely right now. Next week’s 11… will be a post about the lovely things in my life, but right now. Nope. I’m going to complain. 

  1. I pooped my pants today. That is correct. You read that correctly. No typo. I would love to tell you this is an isolated incident. It’s not. Since I was 24 and went through quite a major health incident, my body does not always work properly—rarely ever. I go through particularly bad periods where I can’t stray too far away from the bathroom, which is a real problem for any kind of social life, plan making, trip taking, or work doing. It could be a lot worse, but it was just an incentive to do some laundry.  
  2. My Anxiety Demon is stalking me. Anxiety is no joke. It’s been making my life difficult for as long as I can remember, but over the last few months, it’s been making itself known excessively. Currently contemplating life without sleep or responsibility as a solution. So far not working. 
  3. Sedated Tess. Tessa is my angel baby. She came to me and brought responsibilities of enormous proportion at a time when the distraction and love was everything I needed with the bills, everything I did not. She permanently brought me Knight, Makeda, Duke, and Bear and let me take care of nine other babies until their furever families could take them home. Tess is on the tail end of her heartworm journey. YAY! But she still has six months until we get the all clear. And another month of restricted activity, which means sedation. She’s a nightmare on sedation. Grumpy, ass bitch (in the most literal of terms). I get it, she’s frustrated, but it is hard when we have a houseful of dogs wanting to play, and Tess wants to eat them because they get to play and she doesn’t. 
  4. One of our air conditioning units and the furnace needs to be replaced. Living in Houston, air conditioning is as necessary as food. I need it to function. Ours is on its last leg. So fun. 
  5. Depression. My Depression Demon and Anxiety Sadist are currently skipping hand in hand around my brain. It’s great. Quite the houseparty they’ve got going on. I’m just waiting on them to invite Insecurity Fiend and Nervous Nelly over for some real fun. 
  6. Duke has a SEVERE overbite. We’ve been monitoring it since we first noticed a hint of overbite. He had a check up with the vet last month, and we were told he would be fine until his next check in at eight months old to see how it’s doing. Well, we noticed some holes in the upper palate of his mouth from his teeth being misaligned from the overbite. We took him in immediately. Well, he (and all the other puppies) are growing so fast, their little bodies are changing like crazy. He needs to be seen like yesterday by a dental specialist/orthodontist to correct the damage that’s already been done and make adjustments to his mouth to prevent further damage. Yikes. 
  7. Money seems to be flowing out of my pocket like it’s air. Between buying a house, all the issues that come with that, and my dogs’ issues, I am broke. I mean, I have enough money to eat, but the savings are depleted, and credit cards are tired. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade them for the world, and I am so glad they found a home with me because I know they will be taken care of and their needs will be met. But it does take a toll on the emotions and the wallet. No regrets. They are worth it, and I’m truly grateful I have a partner as committed to giving up and cutting back where we can so that we can put that money towards the needs of our babies’ health. 
  8. I rolled my ankle today. There’s a running joke in my family that I can dance beautifully, but that walking really trips me up. Literally. I now have the added obstacle of a step down into my living room and hardwood floors that need to be replaced because they buckle, popping up randomly in the middle of rooms.
  9. I have hardwood floors that buckle, popping up randomly in the middle of rooms. This is a problem. It’s because when the floors were installed by the previous owners, they were done super wrong. It’s going to be expensive to redo the whole first floor, and right now the money is going to make sure the doggos are healthy. 
  10. Motivation. What is that? I have lost pretty much all motivation to hunt down writing gigs or even write the bare minimum for the blog. Most days, I feel a great sense of accomplishment that all six dogs and the man-friend are fed and alive. Part of it is a mental thing. I’m out of the habit and out of the mindset of working eight to fourteen hours a day. The other part is the lack of time. I have time, but I don’t have unencumbered time. It is really, really, really, really hard to read more than two pages without having to get up and referee a disagreement or figure out why the house is so quiet or let the dogs out so no one pees in the house or feed them or any number of things that come up. Imagine trying to sit down and actually write a book review or blog post or anything! It’s hard. I’ve had to start going to Starbucks to write for an hour before/after yoga. Which is really saying something, since I’m notorious for hating to work anywhere except my [home] office. 
  11. I don’t get to travel! Traveling is the way I decompress. It is my way of getting to breathe. I’m lucky that I can take my job with me wherever I go, and that my boyfriend is a live-in doggy daddy who can and does take care of the dogs when I leave. With the pandemic, there is no leaving. There’s staying. Nothing but staying. I love my home. I love my life. But I’m ready to get back on the road again. 

Like everyone on the planet, I’m actually dealing with even more things than this right now, some more serious, some less, but this is a really good highlight reel of life being life. I’m complaining because I can, but I genuinely love my life and appreciate it. And, truly, it could be a gazillion times worse.

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Blog + Dog

Heartworm Journey 2.1

Immediately after picking Tess up from the vet after her first heartworm shot last Friday.

Pupdate Time

Tessa came into my life as a sad, heavily pregnant dog I literally picked up off the side of the highway and placed in my car on February 26, 2020. The next morning, I took her to the vet to get her and the puppies checked out. Among other things,we found out she is heartworm positive. 

This isn’t the first time we have been through a heartworm journey. Six months after adopting Beau, we found out she was heartworm positive. Beau has been heartworm free for two and a half years. With Beau, we were able to start the treatment right away because she was [as] healthy [as she could be outside of the heartworms.] In an ideal world, we would have started Tess’ treatment schedule the day we found out, but it isn’t. Tess was pregnant, and treating heartworms is not safe for the pregnancy or the puppies while she nursed. We also needed to build up her strength, weight, and health. Having been a street dog, she was not in any condition to take on or survive the treatment. We started her on Heartgard (heartworm prevention) immediately to keep her from getting reinfected. Our focus was on getting her healthy and having some babies!

With both Tess and Beau, we have chosen to go with the gold standard of heartworm treatment. It’s expensive and takes time, but for us, it’s worth it. Everyone’s heartworm journey and circumstances are different. The path we have taken starts by keeping Tess calm. She’s about a year and a half, loves to play with her rambunctious kiddos, and wants to keep up with Beau more than anything. So calm has been difficult. You want to keep heartworm positive dogs calm because it lowers the risk of the worms spreading throughout the body. Once Tess had weaned the puppies, we started with a month of antibiotics to kill parasites that live symbiotically with the heartworms. After that month, there is a month off of medicine to give her body time to recover and time for those damn parasites to DIE. After the month-long waiting period, there is a shot to start killing heartworms. There’s an x-ray to see how much damage has been done and to make sure the treatment is even worth doing. If the damage is too extensive, it’s better and more humane to give palliative care. Heartworm shots are like chemo. They are very hard on the body and some dogs don’t make it through the treatment. We almost lost Beau after the first shot. Once the x-ray has been done and the all clear has been given, puppy gets shot one. They spend the day at the vet for observation to make sure there are no adverse reactions. The first shot is the hardest because it does the majority of heartworm killing. There is a month of severe activity restriction, steroids, and in many cases sedatives. The second and third shots come a month later and are given 24 hours apart. Puppy will go in one morning and get the second shot, stay the night for observation, have the third shot the next morning, and go home that evening. Another month of restricted activity, steroids, and sedatives. Physical activity can slowly be worked into the routine a month after the third shot. Six months after the third shot, another heartworm test is done to make sure the treatment was successful.

Tess is starting to feel better. The head cock is back.

Last Friday, Tess had the first shot. We started her on the antibiotics on June 1. July was her month of rest, and she will go in for her second and third shots the beginning of September. 

Before having the first shot, we had x-rays taken. The news was not as good as we hoped, but it could have been worse. With Beau, we caught it early, and the heartworms stayed in her heart. With Tess, the heartworms traveled into her lungs and set up camp. Her heart is quite enlarged. Neither is good news. Permanent damage has been done. Best case scenario, she will live a long and happy life. But there is a chance her years will be significantly lessened due to the damage. Whatever the outcome, we are doing everything we can to make sure she is happy, healthy, and loved for however long she is with us. 

The first night went pretty well. Tess was happy to be home but extremely exhausted and lethargic. Day two and three were terrible. She was exploding liquid from all her orifices. She was so sick and couldn’t keep anything in her tiny body. She and I sat outside in the grass for three hours in the middle of the night on Saturday as she dry heaved into the grass. It’s so hard to watch, and it’s even harder because I can’t explain what’s happening or why she feels terrible. Her symptoms are normal and expected because the treatment is a lot like chemo: it makes her feel awful in order to feel better. Late Sunday night, she started to feel better, and her smile came back. 

Tess has been a trooper. The pep in her step hasn’t gone away even though she is heavily sedated. Every morning, she wakes up excited to be alive and prancing outside to go potty. Every time she hears the pill bottle open, she comes running because she knows it’s treat time aka meds time. It breaks my heart not being able to play with her the way she wants to play; hopefully the next two months will go by quickly. 

Heartworms sucks. It sucks a little less this time around because the process wasn’t foreign. In some ways, Tess is having an easier time than Beau did. Having the puppies and Beau has kept Tessa’s spirits high. The puppies are completely oblivious to the changes, but Beau is so concerned that her best friend doesn’t feel good. Tess is constantly surrounded by toys because Beau keeps bringing her toys and giving her get well soon kisses.

I’m lucky that we’re able to give Tess and Beau the best treatment available, but it breaks my heart that it’s necessary. As a street dog, Tess didn’t have anyone looking out for her. Beau was in and out of homes, and the shelter didn’t prevent heartworms. 

HEARTWORMS IS COMPLETELY PREVENTABLE. 

In the South, it’s not an if but a when your dog will get heartworms if you do not give them heartworm prevention. It is so very important. The treatment to get rid of heartworms is extremely expensive and painful and not a guaranteed fix. If you have a dog, put them on prevention all year round. It could save their life. There are options. Heartgard is a monthly tablet. ProHeart is a shot you can have administered once a year at their annual check up. Just do it. It’s cheaper than getting rid of them and saves your heart the pain of having to watch your beloved pet go through something this awful. Believe me, I KNOW!!!!

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

Blog + Dog, In My Own Words, Lifestyle

Isolation Creation

I love being surrounded by my new rescue babies.

One of my favorite people to follow on instagram is Jamick Beck. She’s a brilliant photographer and a lovely human to watch live her life through my phone screen. She lives in the South of France. During quarantine she worked on an Isolation Creation project, where she created a beautiful photograph every day and documented it on social media with the hashtag #isolationcreation. It was so inspiring, and I loved following along. 

Social media has been flooded with all these amazing people creating amazing things with their newfound freetime. They are really living out #isolationcreation. I love it. My quarantine feels like the opposite: A vacuum where creativity and productivity have ceased to exist. I have been in quarantine (to the best of my ability) since the middle of March. 

Now is not the time to be trapped inside my house with me, myself, and my multiple internal narratives of doom for company. My anxiety is having anxiety over how much anxiety I have over being anxious about everything. On top of it, my depression has been a raging ball of sadness and defeat. It’s an excellent combination for sustaining minimal productivity and an endless drowning sensation. 

My sweet Duke wasn’t supposed to stay, but here he is furever.

On the surface, my everyday life has not drastically changed. I work from home and don’t have tons of reasons to leave the house. I used to travel a few times a month, and I was always bopping out to have lunch with friends or grab a coffee with someone or something in the world. None of that has happened, which is good for health reasons. 

My quarantine has not included any of the things I would have liked it to include. Considering I can’t travel or leave the house and work has substantially slowed down, I should have time to do so many things. But not true. I have not written my book or even a short story. I’ve not even tended to my blog, which is my job. I don’t read the way I should be. Nothing that needs to be done is getting done. Nothing I want done is getting done. I’m existing in this space of doing the bare minimum. Here’s what the bare minimum has consisted of for me over the last few months:

  • Finding a dog, helping her have thirteen puppies, bottle feeding them, making sure they go to the vet every few weeks, emergency vet trips, finding them REALLY good furever homes, keeping them safe, and sending them to their furever homes. (I’m exhausted just thinking about it all again.)
  • Finding and buying a house. (The literal worst.)
  • Moving cross-country with all the dogs because the house situation took longer because of COVID and we were trying to… 
  • Not be homeless.
  • Working on the few projects that came my way. (So slow… who needs a writer?)
  • Sleeping whenever I could, which was hardly never.
  • Moving back across the country with the dogs to…
  • Finally move into the house.
  • Unpacking the house… Unpacking the necessary things; still working on the unnecessary bits. 
  • Battling my anxiety and depression. 
  • Fixing the house because it was NOT in the shape it was supposed to be in.  
Makeda front and center where she likes to be. They loved laying in the laundry basket. Don’t ask me why.

Productivity and efficiency are my main modes of existing. I hate doing nothing. I hate inefficiency. I hate wasting time. In my mind, nothing has been productive or efficient during quarantine. It’s wrong. I know I have been productive and as efficient as one can be with puppies considering the circumstances of COVID-19, fifteen dogs, moving, and not living in my own house for two and a half months. There’s this anxiety/depression monster that lives in my stomach (head but I feel it in my stomach) telling me I’m the fucking worst and I could do more and be better and why is nothing done the way it could be??? The last four months have not been my ideal version of productivity. When I see time where I’m just sitting, that’s time I could have been working, unpacking, or doing something with my life to achieve my dreams in any and all the ways. I could have done more during quarantine, but I also couldn’t have. I’m dealing with life, puppies, work being slow, COVID, anxiety, depression, and that’s my version of #isolationcreation. 

This was my cue they were done playing and wanted to go in for a nap.

Instead of creating art or finding my love of needle point (I’m actually already not bad at that) or getting in shape or learning how to speak Urdu, I’ve been creating fourteen healthy lives. My #isolationcreation is the puppies and their mama. I took her and the thirteen puppies in during a really difficult time. I made sure she had everything she needed before, during, and after the birth. We almost lost her, but we didn’t. I’m working on getting her healthy – she has already come such a long way. We were told to only expect eight puppies to live, but all thirteen are alive, happy, and healthy. There were several puppies who needed extra attention because they were small, weak, and/or sick. They made it through and are living their best lives. Nine found their perfect homes. Four are stuck with me, two of which have special needs (I call them my miracle boys), but I know they’ll be taken care of. They are almost potty trained. They know how to sit and stay. They’re well behaved and wonderful to be around. They’re the image of health, and they’re growing like crazy. They bring me joy and keep me busy. Life is never dull.

I’m hard on myself, but I always have been. Struggling is my main form of existing right now [always], but I’ve created good where there was sadness during quarantine. I didn’t create beautiful artwork for the world to enjoy like Jamie Beck, but I created something intangibly beautiful for the puppies and their furever families. I did what I could, and I hope it was enough.  

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

I did my very best for them, and I loved watching them grow and change.
#isolationcreation
11..., Lifestyle

11… Struggles of Being a Tall Girl

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Average Height of All Men: 5’9 or 5’6” (depending on what source you choose)
Average Height of American Men: 5’10” (almost)
Average Height of All Women: 5’3”
Average Height of American Women: 5’4”
Average Height of Women Supermodels: 5’9″
My Height: 5’10”

To be considered a tall woman in the United States, she must achieve 5’7” in vertical talent. I’m three inches more talented than that. Also, I’m taller than a lot of models. Hello, Ford Models! I’m waiting for my contract. 

National and international heights are trending upwards. Over the last 150 years, the average height for people living in industrialized nations has increased by FOUR inches. Evolution plays a part in the height increase because ladies like the tall guys, and tall guys usually make tall or tallish humans. However, evolution doesn’t play a big enough part in the equation to explain an increase of four inches in such a short period of time. Nutrition is the key component. For most of history, food was not readily available, and the first modern, one-stop American grocery store didn’t open until August 1930. Dying of hunger was a pretty common reason for death for a long time. If you wanted to eat, you had to hunt, gather, farm, or steal it. As food became more accessible, children started eating regular meals. Well fed children are healthier children, and those children grow the way they’re supposed to into non-stunted adults. Food isn’t just more accessible, it’s more nutritious than it was before because technology. There’s a lot of really interesting proof and resources on the subject, but back to me!

I guess my parents fed me because I’m a tall lady. The funny thing is I’m the short one on my dad’s side of the family. My aunt is 6’ tall and my cousin (her daughter) is well on her way. Growing up I was never tall for my age. When most girls stopped growing between 13 and 15, I kept growing for another six years. I started being “tall” my sophomore year in high school. By the time I was a senior, I was one of the tallest girls in school and there were 1,500 students.  I stopped growing at 21. In college, my friends were shocked I was still growing out of pants for reasons other than I had an obsession with chocolate milk, candy, and cake. My feet stopped growing when I was 13… My body is and always has been confused. 

I love being tall for so many reasons. I don’t need to ask people to get things off the top shelf. I have a great line of sight pretty much everywhere. There are some real downsides, though. 

  1. Jumpsuits!!! I hated on jumpsuits for a long time when they came back into style. Not because I didn’t like them, but because they didn’t like me. I was like the mean girl in high school when it came to jumpsuits. Being tall, jumpsuits are not usually designed with me in mind, and I don’t have the budget to buy jumpsuits designed for supermodels. Not only is it a wedgie in the back, it’s a wedgie in the front. 180° wedgie. Cute. In the last year or so, brands have started making jumpsuits for tall girls. Old Navy, Aerie, I’m looking at you. I can now enjoy them!!!! And they’re great. Ugh, finally I can stop being mean to jumpsuits. 
  2. I REALLY AM 5’10” This may just be me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m curvy or proportional or my personality or what it is, but people will argue with me about how tall I am… Even in person! Over the interwebs, fine whatever. I don’t care. But when I’m right in front of you! Ugh. I am actually 5’10”. I’ve had 5’8” (other heights too, but it’s almost always someone around the 5’8” range that wants to prove to me they’re taller. No you’re not. I’ll sit on you, stop.) men and women try to argue that I’m definitely shorter than them. When we go back to back and their hand comes halfway up my head, they eat shit! Because I am taller than them. Ha! I don’t know why this irritates me so much. It really doesn’t matter. Being tall doesn’t make me or anyone else better than anyone else, but some people really want to argue that I’m not tall because I don’t look tall… Sorry not all 5’10” girls look like Victoria’s Secret models. Which speaks to the fact Victoria’s Secret really needs to diversify their angels. Come on guys (and yes dudes, they’re in charge), it’s 2020. 
  3. Sometimes I want to feel small. I don’t know why, but sometimes I just want to feel little. Maybe this just has to do with sex. Watch TV or movies. Sexy scenes dudes are picking up girls and walking to the bedroom or pushing them up against a wall or a door or a whatever. It just doesn’t work with a tall girl. The legs go everywhere. Or maybe I need to diddle stronger dudes. You’re welcome for too much information. 
  4. Pants I am a vocal opponent of pants, but I wear them far more than I would like to. In order to wear them, I have to find ones that fit. I have curves aka an ass and hips. For some reason, most brands don’t make pants for tall girls with an ass in a size 4 or 6. It’s super frustrating. Where am I supposed to put this butt? Obviously not in these pants. 
  5. Dating… I’m taller than the average man in the United States (and world but I’ve not had the opportunity to date internationally yet), which means over half of the guys in this country are shorter than me by a little or a lot. I don’t mind dating short guys. Most of the guys I have dated are shorter than me. My current boyfriend and I are basically the same height (he’s actually shorter, but I’m sparing his feelings by saying we’re basically the same height), so when I put heels on, we’re in different elevation zones. It seems like the taller the guy the shorter the girl. My brother (6’2”) married a 5’½” woman. Look at professional athletes… Point proven. After dating a guy who was 5’5” – on a good day – it’s better for my back to date taller guys, which is why tall guys should date tall girls: I’M GOOD FOR YOUR BACK!!! THINK OF OLD YOU, PICK ME!
  6. Dresses… Maxi dresses are my favorite because they make me feel like a classy lady even though I’m absolutely bonkers. Maxi dresses are not practical in most situations, but it’s hard finding short dresses that don’t also show off my labia. (Spanx are my best friend for this reason and the chafe.) Even maxi dresses are hard because they’re never quite long enough. I end up buying tea length dresses because it cuts down on the voyeurism. Just forget clubbing dresses. That’s a hard nope. I’ve seen strippers with less visible skin than me in a minidress. 
  7. Men get weirdly competitive. Sometimes when dudes are shorter than me, they get competitive about all sorts of random shit. Maybe they’re trying to prove their masculinity because I have somehow demasculinized them with my height. Whatever it is, it’s weird and usually mean and/or super disrespectful. 
  8. Economy on an airplane is really fucking tight. This is not exclusively for ladies. It’s inclusive for all tall people. It’s tight. It’s uncomfortable. I feel like I’m eating my knees. Also car rides in the backseat. Really any place with a minimal amount of leg room.
  9. Gal pal pictures are weird. I love my girlfriends. They’re amazing, but almost all of them are significantly shorter than me. My very best friend is exactly my height. I have an Aussi friend here in Houston who is taller than me. A friend from college was taller. That’s it. Most everyone else is under 5’4”. Do I strike a sorority girl pose so we’re all the same height? Slouch and look lumpy and frumpilicious? Or do I stand normally and be super tall and have them use my boobies as pillows? I don’t have the answer, I’m genuinely asking what looks better.
  10. Defined waistlines… I love them because they cinchy-cinch my waist and draw attention to my hourglass shape. Yay! …Except defined waistlines are put into dresses based on average height ladies. So almost all defined waists hit me in an unflattering space between an empire waist and the fourth and sixth rib. It’s not cute. It doesn’t even make me look like I have Amazonian legs… It just makes me look fatter than I am. It took me a long time to just put dresses back when the waist doesn’t hit AT my waist. Heartbreaking but the best choice for looking like I know how to shop for my body.
  11. Barres are not made for me. I trained to be a ballerina for a long time. I have recently started taking barre and ballet classes again. I’m taller now than I was in my ballet days (remember, I kept growing until I was 21), and barres are not set at appropriate heights for tall ladies. While everyone else is enjoying their average height barre, I’m bending over trying to reach it, not getting any stretch, or just balancing on my own because it’s useless. 

If you haven’t noticed, I didn’t put heels on this list because I don’t find heels to be a struggle. I love heels. I have always loved heels. I’m going to wear them even though they make me very, very, very tall. Even when I dated the 5’5” dude, wore heels! It’s not a struggle. It’s great! Many other tall ladies feel selfconscious in heels, and I don’t think they should be. If they want to wear heels, wear the damn heels. Because one day we’ll be old and have old lady knees, and we shouldn’t walk around in our orthopedic shoes saying we wish we would’ve worn those cute shoes. 

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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