I love dogs. I have six rescue babies to prove it. It’s a lot; I’m aware. Cathy, the founder and CEO of Brindle Market, and I connected over Instagram a little while back, and I quickly became obsessed with her shop and story. I’m actually living in the Do No Harm tshirt as I write this. I asked her a whole bunch of questions, and she answered them so thoroughly, which makes writer-me very, very happy. So let’s talk about Cathy!
With years of volunteering in animal rescues and focusing on at-risk animals, Cathy began dreaming of creating a business that would bring awareness to and benefit the community. Based in California’s Bay Area, Brindle Market came into existence in 2016. Named for the blending colored fur pattern, she has created her own blend of fashion, small business, and animal rescue by donating 10% of proceeds to animal rescues to be a part of the solution. She’s creating beautiful, wearable pieces that advocate for animal rights. I can personally attest, they are very comfy!
An animal mama, Cathy shares her home with Meeka, Sadie, and Tucky. Meeka, the kitty, joined her family after getting lost in a neighbor’s attic during repairs. After two weeks of mysterious meowing, Cathy rushed to the vet before keeping her furever. Sadie, a small terrier mix, darted in front of Cathy’s car begging to be caught. When her original owners failed to respond to messages and a short stay at the local animal shelter, Sadie joined the family. Tucky, a tuxedo cat, was a neonatal orphan kitten foster fail. Some things are just meant to be, and our hearts know it.
Animals have been a huge part of Cathy’s life. Her first rescue dog, Katie, came into her life at thirteen. A year out of college, Bella, a pit mix, became a part of her family. The relationship came with reactivity challenges and training classes, but—like every good dog parent knows—with love, time, and lots of training most things can be turned around. It was also a lesson in breed discrimination in culture and legislation; as well as, a learning curve of how every dog has different needs. Bella was the catalyst for Cathy’s path as a pitbull advocate and her life with rescues.
Between the pandemic, chronic illness, and disability, Brindle Market transitioned into an online-only business in 2020. The transition was not always simple. Cathy took control of a difficult personal and global situation to continue creating and bringing good into the world. Expanding her team to include a social media manager, blog writer, photographer, and affiliate program, she has been able to expand, reaching new partners to sustain her family and business in the face of illness and global economic upheaval.
In 2022, she will be integrating owner and pet wellness elements to Brindle Market. Continuing the theme of blending life with passion, she is leaning into lessons she has learned on her health journey. This inclusion also allows for positivity in the face of adversity and embracing all the moments we cherish with our pets. She is determined to continue Brindle Market and give back to the animal rescue community, having donated more than $11,500 and counting.
I’m so honored Cathy felt comfortable enough opening up about her personal struggles with illness and disability along with the steps she’s taken to keep her amazing business going. As a chronically ill, freelancing, dog mom trying to make it in a mid-pandemic world, I can empathize with the struggle. She’s doing amazing things for the community and the world! So please go check out the website, support a small business, be a part of changing a rescue baby’s life, and also Christmas is coming up so go nuts!
Visit and Shop Brindle Market https://brindlemarket.com/
A Long Petal of the Sea by Isabel Allende Worth a Read Yes || Length 336
Quick Review This really is a beautifully written work of fiction, depicting an often overlooked period of history as Americans. The Spanish Civil War raged on as two people are pushed together into a marriage and escape from Spain to Chile on a ship, chartered by Pablo Neruda. Highly suggest. Memorable Quotes “Her beauty intimidated him: he was used to women prematurely marked by poverty or war.” “She was discovering it (the world) was nothing like the descriptions in books or photographs. It was much more complex and colorful, much less frightening.”
Anywhere for You by Abbie Greaves Worth a Read Eh || Length 368
Quick Review I really hated this book. It was written fine, but the whole plot. I don’t get the point. Like why? Mary stands in a tube station with a sign saying, “Come Home Jim” because her boyfriend disappeared on her seven YEARS ago. Everything goes to shit when a reporter befriends her and makes it go viral. The relationship was toxic and unhealthy… So it feels like it’s just perpetuating the idea that a good woman will, in the words of Tammy Wynette, Stand By [Her] Man even when he’s shit and doesn’t deserve it. Memorable Quotes “Comfort never encouraged anyone to spread their wings.” “”When you meet the right person, you need to be with them, no matter what.””
Bookish and the Beast by Ashley Poston Worth a Read Eh || Length 288
Quick Review Not my usual read, but it’s a cute rom-com for teens about two nerdy kids falling in love in the midst of their own problems. If you can’t tell, books are at the heart of their love story. You can also guess the plot from the title. No surprises. At all.
Everyone Is Beautiful by Katherine Center Worth a Read Yes || Length 256
Quick Review I had low hopes for this, but it turned out to be a beautiful story about a wife and mother, yearning to reconnect with herself and passion again. It’s an earnest depiction of making life work on a limited income and even less sleep. Life, marriage, and motherhood is hard, but it’s even harder having to do them all at once. Center creates a compelling look into womanhood and marriage in the time that comes after the “happily ever after” or wedding because life doesn’t stop with a ring or an “I do.” This is a small book that really gets the messiness and stress of motherhood and marriage without being bitter or resentful. Memorable Quotes “I hate to say it, but I will. Children, despite their infinite charms, are an absolute assault on a marriage.”
Gimme Everything You Got by Iva-Marie Palmer Worth a Read Yes || Length 400
Quick Review I was pleasantly surprised by this one. I don’t usually read YA, but it was accidentally sent to me, and I thought why not? Set in 1979, a school gets their first girls soccer team and sexism ensues. The girls learn how to balance their budding love of sports with their desire to be feminine and find those two things are often at odds in society’s eyes. Setting the piece over 40 years ago, allows readers to draw parallels between the world of the past and today to see what has changed and all the ways it has not budged. Memorable Quotes “Then, this summer, I realized maybe the shorts meant something bigger. Like that I was a feminist. Not one who didn’t shave her armpits, but a sexy one.” “Wasn’t the point of having a sibling that you had to endure your parents together?”
Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis Worth a Read No || Length 240
Quick Review I understand Rachel Hollis and this book are beloved by so many people, but I just couldn’t get on board. I had a hard time getting past the God aspect, great, have your religion, but for so many people that’s not a driving force in our lives, but what got me the most about it was her constant need to reinforce the idea that she’s a “good Christian.” There are really great nuggets and words of wisdom in there, but there’s also a kind of toxic “pick yourself up” and “you’re unhappy because of you” and “EVERYTHING is in your control” attitude. As someone who is completely self-made, I get that. As a survivor of abuse, so much of my life is circumstance and dealing with the aftermath and consequences of other people’s actions. The themes and attitudes are just not relatable for me at all. It falls so flat.
Little Deadly Secrets by Pamela Crane Worth a Read No || Length 384
Quick Review For me, this is one of those not-much-of-a-mystery mystery; it’s very easy to guess. I really did not like any of the characters. I found so many issues with the parenting and rape. So much rape. Rape, rape, everywhere. As a rape survivor, I don’t mind rape, but this felt more like rape porn than rape for literary or even human experience reasons. There’s also a lot of toxic masculinity passing as acceptable. It was just written poorly and in poor taste. A hard pass for me. Memorable Quotes “Friends are the flowers you pick to beautify your life.” “We’re trained from an early age to value beauty. What a handsome little boy, we say. Or What a pretty little princess. So we grow up believing that if we’re not beautiful enough, we won’t be loved. Then someone comes along and loves you anyway, and you make him God over you. Even when he is in fact the devil.”
Little Wishes by Michelle Adams Worth a Read Yes || Length 400
Quick Review This is a really sweet love story about two people reconnecting in their twilight years. It’s sweetly written to match the tone of the story. Adams writes in an overly flowery way to try and paint a picture of Cornwall, but it’s a bit over the top. She also does a whole bunch of equating love and fire, but I guess that’s what readers like. There’s a hint of mystery, but if you’ve done much reading, that and the ending are quite expected. Overall, this is one of those books you want to read on the beach or snuggled up in a porch chair. Memorable Quotes “Perhaps that was what love was, the thought to herself, when nothing that came before or after seemed to matter anymore, when the world could be on fire, but you didn’t fear the burn.” “Losing a parent did that, made you question your existence for the first time in your life. Human morality paraded before you, utterly unavoidable, the world changed.”
Live A Little by Howard Jacobson Worth a Read Eh || Length 288
Quick Review I really enjoyed the writing, but the story itself was lackluster for me. I can’t even remember the plot, except for the part where I couldn’t care less about the characters. The female characters in particular were… shallow. It’s an excellent example of why I don’t like reading female characters written by men. The narrative style is humorous and interesting. Memorable Quotes “I was more of a man than any of my men were and I don’t doubt I will prove to be more of a carer than my carers.” “What they call dementia, she has decided, is nothing but a failure to maintain a comprehensive filing system. And what they call losing your mind is forgetting to use it.”
The Night Portrait by Laura Morelli Worth a Read Yes || Length 496
Quick Review Waffling between an art conservationist in the midst of WWII and a young woman in a Milanese court of the fifteenth century, this historical novel traces the history of Leonardo da Vinci’s masterpiece, Girl with the Ermine. I get a bit tired of historical novels set during WWII, but I did enjoy this one. I love strong women at the heart of a well written narrative. Memorable Quotes “Like most inspired ideas, it comes to me in the middle of the night.” “And Edith had to face the fact that she was part of the giant network that enabled these men to aggrandize themselves, at the expense of so many innocent lives.” “Edith had a difficult time reconciling the man who, by day, was responsible for the devastation around them, and by night, doted on his children.”
The Red Daughter by John Burnham Schwartz Worth a Read Eh || Length 288
Quick Review A historical novel focusing on Svetlana, Stalin’s daughter, and her life in America after fleeing the Soviet Union. Told from two perspectives, that of Svetlana and that of her lawyer, Peter Horvath. It’s a well told story, but largely forgettable. Getting nit picky, as a Russian speaker, when Svetlana is writing, it doesn’t feel like a Russian speaking. She also lacks emotional depth, when Peter does not. I would say that’s due to a man trying to write from a perspective he does not understand or identify with… a woman’s. Peter is the far more compelling character; even though his section of the novel is far smaller. In a lot of ways, this is a lovely story, but it also falls very short of being great. Memorable Quotes “Governments will always lie. It is the job of artists and intellectuals to tell the truth.” “There is a kind of drunkenness one finds only in Russia. The Irish don’t know it, the French, the Greeks. An ecstasy of melancholy… A sadness that has no limits and is so very close to joy, but never reaches it.”
I’ve been having difficulty getting into the Christmas spirit this year. There’s not really a reason, but I have a sneaking suspicion it may have something to do with 2020.
In America, there is a long and heated debate on when Christmassing begins. For the correct people, like me, it starts at midnight on November 1st. Halloween is the gateway holiday to Christmas. For the wrong people, it begins after Thanksgiving.
My love of Christmas has not waivered, but I think 2020 has taken an emotional toll. Just maybe. There’s a slim possibility. Teensy chance. COVID, the election, buying a house, having a herd of dogs, quarantine, not traveling, and the in betweens has sapped my perpetual enthusiasm. I’ve been able to tap into my Christmabsession at friends’ homes, but my own house is lacking even a hint of Christmas. So I’m trying to really get into the spirit now that Thanksgiving is behind us.
Celtic Christmas at The Renaissance Festival Last Saturday, I went to the Renaissance Festival here in Texas. The theme of the weekend was Celtic Christmas, which was very fun. There were loads of Christmas trees and decorations everywhere. A lot of musicians were playing carols. The only down part of the day was the rain. It poured—and I mean POURED—the entire time we were there. It only got worse the longer we stayed. Honestly, the most authentic part of the festival was the mud.
Baking I’ve been spending a lot of time at my friends’ homes the past few weeks, and I decided to fill their houses with Christmas cookies. It definitely helps.
Decorating I was a part of decorating my friends’ house. That counts, right?
Fires I love a good fire. There is something so cozy and lovely about it. They make me feel like it’s winter and Christmas is coming. In my house, I have a gorgeous fireplace; unfortunately, it’s gas, but now I don’t have to clean it out. I recently became the owner of a fireplace key, so I can use it. Man oh man, I have had a fire everyday this week. It’s been amazing.
Christmas Music I have turned the Christmas music on. It makes me sing and dance, which helps me get into the mood.
White Christmas This is my favorite Christmas movie. I will watch it all year round, but it definitely gets played on repeat this time of year. I finally watched it the first time this season on Saturday night.
Starbucks Christmas Cups They always bring me joy when they’re released. I love them. They bring the joy of the season with them.
Grinch, Home Alone, Elf These three movies have already been watched a few times because my friends love them. I can’t argue; they are classics and deserve to be watched repetitively. So good.
Holiday Reading Every year since I started blogging, I only read holiday books and publish holiday book reviews, so prepare yourself for the onslaught. This year I’ve tried a few different ones than usual.
Christmas Content I love taking Christmas content. It’s so fun and helps get me in the spirit. Although, it will probably look a little different this year because of COVID and the world being a dumpster fire. Hopefully I can find a few Christmas locales to take advantage of.
Thinking About the Family Christmas Card With five new additions to the family, I’m not sure what this card will look like. The last few years, we’ve dressed up and included Beau. I’m not sure if all six of the dogs will have Christmas outfits this year or not. Stay tuned to find out!
bisous und обьятий, RaeAnna
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2020 has been a shit year. I hate generalizations, but I think the world will agree with me on this one. It’s been a Biblical plague level disaster of a year. Part of me is so ready for it to be over, and the other part of me is terrified 2021 will pop and say, “So you thought 2020 was bad? Wait and see what I have planned.” I am truly concerned that this is the new reality for the world. My biggest life goal as an adventure seeker and travel enthusiast is to see the world. 2020 was supposed to be a year of international travel. None of that happened, but I am terrified in my core, that this is the new status quo. What if I can’t see the world?
I’ve been emotionally distancing myself from 2020. Even though this year has produced more fodder for my social justice focused writing career, I have not been able to actually write about it. It hurts my heart too much. So I have spent all of 2020 avoiding 2020 and not doing my job and writing about the world and how it’s a dumpster fire on steroids.
Puppies… I’ve been avoiding this year with puppies. Not only is this good for my mental health and increases the amount of love and affection I have in my life, it has also been good for the puppies. They didn’t die on the street with their mom from exposure or starvation. That’s dark but not untrue. I love my dogs, and they drained the life out of me for many months, but I would not change a Goddamn thing.
Netflix… They keep making new shows and movies, and I must watch them or I won’t know what’s going on in the world. Or I add them all to my list and never feel like I’m in the mood for that particular show or starting a new series or a movie or whatever so then I… [see #9]
Sleep… I have never been a great sleeper. I pushed my parents sleep deprivation limits within the first year of my life because I didn’t sleep. Now, I just push my own limits of sleep deprivation. With work being less crazy—thanks COVID—and me having nowhere to go, I’ve been trying to give myself a normal human sleep schedule for the first time in my life. It’s not going great.
Nyquil Induced Sleep… When I can’t sleep and I need to sleep but the anxiety is too high, I do the healthy thing and drug myself to sleep with Nyquil. Why am I admitting this online? In the vain of honesty? Maybe I’m just too sleep deprived to know better. Either way, this is a thing I do sometimes.
Relentless Existential Crises… The inside of my brain is not a happy place. I am an existentialist (just kidding, I’m a full on nihilist but that doesn’t sound as cute). I trend towards nothing means anything! and why do I even try? and my credit score won’t matter when I die! and it will all end in the Big Crunch anyways! Like I said, not a happy place, and this is what I crawl in bed with every night.
Reading… I have been reading without writing book reviews. Woops! There is a very large pile of books waiting to be reviewed sitting on my desk. I need to get to them, but I haven’t been able to force myself into being a productive human and writing down my thoughts for you all to not read.
Anxiety Induced Paranoia… Hi! I’m a human. I have anxiety. It’s debilitating and sometimes gives me streaks of paranoia. Like: My life-partner no longer loves me and has changed the locks, left my stuff by the curb, and won’t let me back in the house all because he fell asleep, forgot to plug in his phone, and can’t answer my call because the phone is dead. I absolutely do not have abandonment issues. But the anxiety monster pops up and says: You’re not worth being loved, so here’s a terrible situation that could TOTALLY happen and has happened. You’re now homeless. Best wishes.
Staring At My Computer and Doing Nothing… I absolutely am always productive. This is a lie. There are some days when I say “I’m going to be productive!” So I sit down at my computer. Open a document to start writing and finally make a tiny dent in my ever growing pile of books and blog posts I want/need to write. As I gaze upon my computer with my hands on the keys, I am overcome by the feeling of NOPE! So I stare at my computer and pretend like I was productive for two hours before saying, “Well, I tried.” I end it all by cuddling dogs and reading another book I hope to review someday.
Rewatching Shows I’ve Already Seen Too Many Times… This is a thing people with anxiety do. They rewatch shows over and over and over again because it’s comforting because we know what is going to happen. Instead of starting new shows, I just rewatch the old ones. This is the most productive thing (other than puppies) that I have done during quarantine. Sue me. I didn’t bake sourdough.
Planning To Tackle Projects And Then Never Doing Anything… I NEED TO SET UP MY OFFICE AND PAINT MY HOUSE. I haven’t. I have all the things I need for my office, and yet it hasn’t been done. Oh well. That’s life. I know in my head what my house will look like when it’s done. It is beautiful. Reality: The walls are a terrible and dated color of greige.
Staring At The Ceiling… When in doubt. Lay in bed and stare at the ceiling doing nothingness. Seriously. Nothing but drown in self-doubt, anxiety, worry, and nihilism.
Sending all my love to everyone who reads this and everyone who doesn’t. The world is a terrifying place right now. I’m hoping it gets better and we can all see and love one another again. Until then, I’ll just be here keeping up with avoiding 2020.
bisous un обьятий, RaeAnna
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Worth A Read Yes Length 304 Quick Review Daniel Day grew up in Harlem. He learned business and people throwing dice, but his passion for fashion made him into an icon.
Daniel Day had never crossed my radar until I read Dapper Dan. That shouldn’t be surprising, my knowledge of anything remotely hip-hop is pathetic at best. After reading the book, I know more than I did; so that’s something.
Harlem has been home to a Renaissance, poverty, racism, violence, drugs, gangs, police brutality, art, culture, music, activism, change, and so much more. It’s a small and incredibly controversial area. Day has lived in one of the most interesting places during some of the most interesting years of recent history. Born in 1944, he grew up in the aftermath of the Renaissance, just in time to watch his home change and his family change along with it. From an early age, his life was grounded in education and hustling. A poor kid in a poor area, he hit the streets to make his money throwing dice because that’s where the money was then. He was a promising writer with journalistic aspirations, but it’s hard to dream distant dreams when money’s right in front of you and you’re hungry. Looking “fly” was important in Harlem, and Day did what he could to be the flyest. In his late thirties, he had children to support and wanted to hustle in a less legally gray way. He channeled his love for fashion into a high end boutique centered in and made for Harlem, catering to the hustlers he knew. It wasn’t long before word of his reputation spread throughout the country. Dapper Dan dressed hip-hop stars, rap up-and-comers, hustlers, and anyone who could afford his pieces. He tore down walls marking Harlem as a destination where people could and wanted to shop.
From the beginning, Day makes it clear this is more than a memoir, it’s a story of systemic injustice. By page four, “It was understood, literally from birth, that the system didn’t really care about keeping our information correctly, that it didn’t really care about us.” His story cannot be told without also telling the story of Harlem, the people surrounding him, and the politics confining them. Day is a product of his environment. A bright kid, he grew up surrounded by hustlers and legends, like Langston Hughes, Nat King Cole, Billie Holiday, Patti LaBelle, Sugar Ray and more. They were all brilliant with a knowledge of the world and no access to it because of racism, prejudice, laws, and stupidity. Day showed a great deal of promise as a student, especially as a writer, having won many local competitions. All that promise didn’t keep him from dropping out of school during his sophomore year to throw dice and hustle like those who came before him, “The long-term benefits of getting an education seemed abstract at best and a lie at worst.” He wouldn’t earn his GED until he was 24; later attending Iona College before dropping out to support his children. Heroin infiltrated Harlem, ruining lives and destroying potential; Day was not immune nor was his family. He went to jail twice for drugs and spent nine months in an Aruban prison for credit card fraud.
No topic is off limits in Dapper Dan. From religion to drugs to jail time to marital affairs, Day does not shy away from telling the ugly truths of his story. In those hard truths, a man exists of unwavering loyalty, hard work, intelligence, and the ability to consciously analyze the root of his failings in order to be a better business owner, husband, father, and man.
Each part begins with a quote from a black writer or poet. Dapper Dan is sprinkled with literary, societal, political, and historical references spanning centuries and cultures – I had to look up several – from song lyrics to wars to a chapter titled “Raisin in the Sun.” Day is showing off his knowledge base in an endearingly confident manner. He wants the reader to not-so-subtly know he is more than his faults, he’s learned.
Dapper Dan named his boutique after his moniker. He earned it on the street from the original Dapper Dan, and it stuck with him his entire life. If you google Daniel Day, Daniel Day-Lewis immediately autofills and pops up even if you correct it, but type in Dapper Dan and the fashion revolutionary is the first hit. There was a vacuum in the fashion industry. A lack of partnerships with white owned companies and the lack of black owned companies to partner with made it difficult to start his boutique. He didn’t let those obstacles stop him. Day found a way. He wanted and succeeded in creating a haven for people to purchase quality fashion without feeling unwelcome or the stares or being followed by security guards in stores, like Gucci and Louis Vuitton. When he opened his boutique, he took his skills of reading people and improving what already exists and brought them into his clothing. He started out by selling furs and moved into creating looks inspired by haute couture looks, “I blackenized them.” They weren’t Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Prada, or anything else. They were Dapper Dan’s couture pieces. It took years for the fashion houses to realize what was happening in Harlem, and when they did, shit hit the fan. “They had to see that I had taken these brands and pushed them into new territory,” but they didn’t see it that way.
Day overcame obstacles only to find more in his way at every turn. Dapper Dan is the story of a man navigating a world ruled by systemic racism. At 75 years old, he is still conquering the fashion world, creating trends, dressing some of the most influential artists, and expanding his mind. I enjoyed the book immensely.
Memorable Quotes “After heroin and cruel law enforcement turned neighborhoods like Harlem and South Bronx into ghettos, crack and AIDS arrived to turn our lives into waking nightmares.” “I started reading and experimenting and sciencing it out.” “I had never really bought into organized religion, but I was fascinated by the historical need for it.” “Sometimes a thing happens, and you think that it happened to knock you down, but it turns out the experience really knocked you up.”
bisous und обьятий, RaeAnna
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Title: Dapper Dan; Made in Harlem Author: Daniel R. Day With: Mikael Awake Publisher: Random House Copyright: 2019 ISBN: 978-525510512
Worth A Read Yes Length 406 Quick Review Delving into magical realism and familiar themes of justice, humanity, freedom, and equality, the era of slavery is raging in Ta-Nehisi Coates debut novel.
Ta-Nehisi Coates’ writes incredible essays and nonfiction, which are entertaining and thought provoking. I couldn’t wait to see what Coates would do in a world he created himself. Set in pre-Civil War Virginia, The Water Dancer is an impressive piece of fiction.
Hiram Walker is the son of a slave and the Lockless plantation owner. His mother was sold when he was young, and he was taken in and raised by another slave on the plantation. The community is made up of Quality, slave/land owners, the Tasked, slaves, and classless whites. Hiram is an exceptional human because of his photogenic memory, but he also possesses the gift of conduction, the ability to travel across great distance through waterways. He eventually travels to Philadelphia through the Underground Railroad, where he meets Moses, a legendary Underground member.
One of my favorite parts about the story is the way it is framed and told. Coates introduces Hiram in a death scene in chapter one. It captures the readers’ attention and holds it. There are also breaks in the narrative, where Hiram speaks as an older wiser man reminiscing about his younger years and even to speak directly to the reader. There is a lot of dependence on mysticism and suspension of reality. Coates shows the evils of slavery through the eyes of a slave. He also shows the entire society was trapped in the horrific cycle. Everyone suffered. No one was free.
Story wise, it’s very interesting, well thought out, and thoroughly researched. Honestly, it’s rather forgettable. I’m having a hard time writing a decent or even remotely in depth review because it did not sweep me along. I read it and had to make myself keep reading. It’s not a novel I just had to know what happened. I remember the beginning far more than the ending.
The Water Dancer is a combination of intriguing, boring, and well done. To be honest, it’s really hard calling, the beloved writer, Ta-Nehisi Coates’ prose boring, but it was. I thought it dragged on and on at times. Maybe part of it is that I don’t really like fantasy. I’ve never been a huge fan, and this is very much a fantasy novel. Although, I don’t think that has much to do with it. The fantasy bits were interesting and did not overwhelm the plot.
Memorable Quotes “She’d gone from that warm quilt of memory to the cold library of fact.” “I was a man well regarded in slavery, which is to say I was never regarded as a man at all.”