Tag: Christmas

In My Own Words, Lifestyle

I’ve Lost My Christmas Spirit

RaeAnna

I love Christmas. It is, without a doubt, my favorite holiday because it is a season. Yes I am usually that human who starts playing Christmas music around midnight on November 1st. I could give Buddy the Elf a run for his Christmas cheer, and our likeness this time of year has been referenced more than a few times. 

I really did dress up just for this picture. I was not feeling it at all… and actually cried a fair bit of today.

Normally I bake like I’m Mrs. Claus trying to take on world hunger. I fill my Instagram feed with all the Christmassy things I’m dragging everyone in my circle to do. I dress in ridiculously over the top red and green ensembles for a month straight. I read and review all the latest Christmas rom-coms. All the new and cringey Hallmark movies are watched, along with Netflix and Hulu. I am not normally the gooey romantic type, but at Christmas I become a trope steeped in tradition and sentimentality. 

Today is Christmas Day, and I’m sitting in a Starbucks watching the sun rise writing this. Christmas has always been that one time of year that I could not be stopped… But over the last few years, I have been not so slowly losing my Christmas spirit. To the point that this year the only reason I even have a tree in the house is because of my pawtner. I don’t think I would have bothered to get one. The reason my office tree is set up is because he brought it into the house and stuck it in my way until I decorated it. Very few Christmas cookies were baked. I have watched all of five Christmas movies, zero Hallmark, and only because of other people. I have taken a total of none Christmassy pictures. I’ve posted zero Christmas book reviews. I didn’t even do anything for Christmas Eve yesterday. My person is in town, who I have spent eleven years of my life with, and all we did was lay on the couch and watch movies and order Chinese. 

What the fuck is wrong with me?!?

Depression. Anxiety. PTSD.

I hate using these things as crutches or excuses, but I’m finally to a point where I can/have to admit: They have been seriously affecting my life. I have been in survival mode for so fucking long. Doing what I can to get by and make everyone around me feel better. Things had to go. Pieces of my soul, life, person, career, heart have been left behind bit by bit.. So much in my life has been sacrificed to maintain the status quo, to make it through, to keep existing. The struggle to not give in to the parts of me that just wants to call it quits. I have too many dogs who depend on me for that bullshit. Although, it’s not just depression, anxiety, and PTSD, there are outside factors that have been exacerbating and contributing to my current less than optimal mental status. I spent 2020 being a mess at the heart of puppy chaos. 2021 has been spent figuring out what needs to go, what needs to change, and what I want. 2022 will be the year I get the hell out of this dark pit I’ve called home for about 30 and a half years. I think I know who I am again… for once. If I don’t, I’m at least heading in a direction I don’t gutterally hate. 

It’s Christmas. People always use the New Year or birthdays as a starting over point, but Christmas has always been my time to shine. It’s always been a starting and end point. The place where the year ends and I can begin looking forward to next year. I doubt this will make sense to anyone, but it’s what works for me. I’m using today as my reset button. Things have to change. I need to get back to me. I want to love Christmas again. Next year, I will. 

I let Christmas go this year; it’s what I needed to do. I took it easy and posted nothing. I celebrated a little with the people I care about most. Today, the day of, will be a good day. It’s a simple day. I get to spend it with the people I want to, and those who I don’t get to see, I’ll call. I’ll cook, watch movies, drink hot cocoa, and go see Christmas lights. I’m healthy. The dogs are fed and happy. I have a home. I’m not where I want to be, but I think I’m on my way. I’m starting to do things for me again… for the first time? I’m tired, but I am looking forward to what the next year will bring. I’m going to put my head down and work, work, work to get to where I need to be for myself, for my dogs, for those I love. 

It may not feel like Christmas for me now, but a lot can change in 365 days.

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

Books, Fiction

The Twelve Dates of Christmas by Jenny Bayliss

RaeAnna

Worth A Read Eh
Length 340
Quick Review Single and independent Kate is coerced into a dating service consisting of twelve dates with twelve men by her best friend in Blexford, England. 

I really don’t know what I’m doing, but whatever!

It’s a cute yet predictable story—I feel like I will probably say that a few times over the course of my Christmas book reviews this year and for the rest of eternity because I have yet to find a revolutionary one. Anyways, The Twelve Dates of Christmas is cute. Frankly, give me anything set in England and I’ll like it more than I would if it’s set in the U.S.

Kate is an artist. Having moved to her hometown of Blexford to be with her father, she’s been single in a small town for a good bit. She’s a smart and sassy sweetheart with a fierce independence that makes it hard for her to find a partner. Though Kate has all but given up on a happily ever after, her best friend, Laura, has not and convinces her to join a dating agency that will send her on twelve dates with twelve different men spanning the Christmas season. At the age of 34, Kate has very much decided she’s not searching for passion but compatibility. Throughout the Christmas season, she spends her time with her best friend Matt, Laura, and all the vibrant characters decorating the town. 

Like all romance novels, the characters are ridiculously over the top, but I personally enjoyed “The Knitting Sex Kittens were a formidable group of women, all over age sixty and all single, by either design, divorce, or death.” The town and characters are saturated in Christmas joy and cheer, and, let’s be honest, that is the only reason I read this or any Christmas novel at all. I’m here for the Christmas spirit. 

Kate is an ambitious woman with lots to give but she ends up having many conversations along the lines of: ““I’m not looking for sparkle, Dad,” said Kate. “I am on a grown-up-woman mission to find a suitable, sensible partner who has no improper pride and is perfectly amiable.”” As a single woman in my thirties, I can, in some ways, identify with the want to search out compatibility over passion, but, and luckily Kate does figure it out, both is an option and the best option. 

The biggest problem I had with The Twelve Dates of Christmas were the grammatical errors and typos. I’m not even going to blame Bayliss for this because the copy editor should have caught it. For me it was distracting, but the average reader probably won’t even pick up on it. I’m going to call this: editor problems. As in most rom-com books, the character development is lack luster at best, but it’s a fun, easy read to take our minds off the holiday stresses. 

You can put this one on your holiday reading list to enjoy. 

Memorable Quotes
“Kate had to admit that her regime of pajamas, toast, and telly by seven thirty every night was not conducive to establishing a satisfying sex life.”
“But for her, contentment waned quite quickly to become a faint questioning, which bloomed into nagging doubt and ultimately wholehearted assuredness that it wasn’t right. Laura called it self-sabotage. Kate called it gut instinct.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

Buy on Amazon | Buy on Book Depository

Title: The Twelve Dates of Christmas
Author: Jenny Bayliss
Publisher: Putnam 
Copyright: 2020
ISBN: 9780593085387

11..., Lifestyle

11… Hopes for the New Year

RaeAnna
Enjoying Christmas things in Baytown, Texas. | Dress | Shirt | Boots |

I’ve never been one for resolutions. In reality, I’m not even one for goal setting or manifesting. It’s not that I’m unmotivated; I’m actually incredibly motivated and hardworking. I’ve just found that it doesn’t work for me. Resolutions, goals, manifestations are not for me. 

Happiness and kindness are the two driving forces in my life. Every day I wake up and live my life to the best of my abilities by making choices that make me happy and do as much good as I can in the world. At the end of the day, if I have accomplished those, I have lived a good day and that will culminate into a good life. I hope. 

2020 was quite the year. Filled with ups and downs on a global and personal scale. I did what I could to find happiness and create kindness, but I, like the entirety of Earth’s population, am hoping for better things in 2021. 

I missed the usual Christmas traditions in 2020, but I won’t let it get me down for 2021. | Dress | Flannel | Boots | Earrings |
  1. I hope the pandemic is reigned in. For selfish reasons, I want life to get on with it. For global reasons, I want life to get on with it. Everything has been on hold for far too long. 
  2. I hope to see friends and family again. It’s been over a year since I have seen some of my closest friends and family members. Some live far away and others live just on the other side of town. Due to COVID, I have gone without seeing many people for their safety and mine. It sucks, but it is for the best. 
  3. I hope to travel. Knock on wood, 2020 was supposed to be my year of international travel. Shocker: It wasn’t. I went to none of the places I was supposed to. It makes me sad, but at the end of the day, it was for the best. Most of the trips were postponed, a few were permanently canceled. Time will tell when I get to see Europe again. 
  4. I hope for health. The health of the world and myself. As an imuno-compromised person, this year has been tough. I’ll speak more on how I’m ringing in 2021later, but it’s not the way I was hoping for my family.
  5. I hope to be more consistent. 2020 was anything but my finest year of consistency. I managed to let so many things fall through the cracks that I have never ever let fall through the cracks before. I’m ashamed… Kind of. In all honesty, I’m disappointed in myself, but at the end of the day, I just couldn’t make those things happen. In 2021, I want to get back to being the consistent human I was before and even more consistent than before.  
  6. I hope to get back to working. As a freelance writer, COVID seriously affected my income. I’m not complaining because, at least, I’m still working. It has been a very, very slow year for me. As a creative, I was impacted significantly. Luckily, I have a partner who has been able to work consistently throughout the pandemic, so we have not struggled the way other families have. I miss working, though. Here’s to a better year!
  7. I hope to not wear a mask. I will absolutely continue to wear a mask until it is completely safe to not wear one. I am looking forward to not having to need it, though. 
  8. I hope the vaccine can be administered to one and all. 
  9. I hope my puppies continue to grow healthy and strong. They will celebrate their first birthday in March. I can’t believe how soon that is and how quickly this year has gone by. I was so very blessed to have them and be able to provide for their health and happiness. COVID gave me the time to care for them, and for that, I will forever be grateful for 2020. 
  10. I hope to grow my blog. 2020 was incredibly inconsistent for the blog. It grew and shrunk and stagnated. I’m not complaining. I love this part of my life, but I’m hoping to really dive into it in the way I had been wanting to in 2020 but was unable to. I have a lot of books to catch up on reviews. So I hope to have those all published by May. Fingers crossed. 
  11. I hope to continue chasing happiness and kindness. I want 2021 to be filled with happiness for myself and others. I want to spread kindness wherever I go, making the world a better place as much as I possibly can. 
  12. Bonus Hope I hope to get a bunch of projects done in my house. I very much love it as it is, but there are so many things I want to get done, like painting and decorating. I’ll absolutely document my progress as I go because it’s so fun!!!

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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11..., Lifestyle

11… Post Christmas Musings

RaeAnna
My gorgeous and huge tree.
Christmas Eve with my babies.
Enjoying Christmas Morning

I can’t believe Christmas 2020 is past. The season went by so quickly. I’m still a little bit shocked that it even happened, but it did. I’m trying to process 2020, but I’m having a very hard time with it all. So I am going to begin by processing the easiest things first: Christmas!

  1. I did not get nearly enough done. Oops.
  2. Five books went unreviewed. 
  3. Christmas content was completely nonexistent from me this year. 
  4. I managed to bake a total of zero Christmas cookies.
  5. I watched the same Christmas movies on repeat and didn’t even see any of the new Netflix Christmas movies. 
  6. Santa didn’t get me a single thing this year… Not even coal. I feel forgotten. 
  7. I’m still not done Christmas shopping.
  8. I failed as a mother because the puppies didn’t get a single present. I’m the worst mother ever. Poor babies. 
  9. I’m sad my office Christmas tree was never put up. 
  10. I wish I would’ve seen more Christmas lights. 
  11. I really missed getting to go out and do Christmassy things. 

Those are a few of my post Christmas musings. I’m hoping next year will be better… Well, next year, I’ll be better. I was lazy and slacking this year. Oh well. I had a great Christmas day with family and puppies, so that is all that matters. 

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Blog + Dog, In My Own Words, Lifestyle

Christmas Tree Hunting in 2020; A Family Tradition

RaeAnna
I love Christmas tree hunting even more beause of Beau. | Sweater | Jeans | Flannel | Boots | Beret

Christmas tree hunting has been a tradition my entire life.

What is the definition of Christmas tree hunting? For me, it means, first, locating a Christmas tree farm: one that grows Christmas trees. [My personal favorite in the Houston area is High Star Christmas Tree Farm. It’s north of Houston. They have amazing prices and friendly staff.] Once at the farm, the hunt is on. Grab a saw and a measuring stick. Find the plumpest, tallest, most symmetrical tree that your space allows. Lay down on the ground, saw that tree down. Shake it, bundle it, pay for it, put it in the truck, head home to set it up and decorate!

Every single year, minus 1999, 2014, and 2015, I have gone to a tree farm, hunted the perfect tree, and cut it down. By I cut it down, I mean, my father, my boyfriend, my friend, my boyfriend, anyone that wasn’t me cut it down. We’ll get to that in a moment. The reason for no tree hunting in 1999 was: My family and I weren’t home for Christmas. We were celebrating in California with family, so we decorated a Christmas cactus. 2014 and 2015 did not have a tree hunt because I was living with my best friend’s family, and they have a fake tree. 

Beau loves the big dogs that moo so much!!!

Out of my thirty Christmases, I have had a real live tree personally cut down (by a someone close to me but not me) for twenty-seven of those Christmases. 

The most fun part about Christmas trees… I’M ALLERGIC!!! Our love is greater than my inability to touch them. I have a commitment to real trees because I love them, I love their smell, I love having a real tree that I picked out of the ground. Luckily, I have people who love me enough to struggle cutting down a tree, setting it up, and decorating it. I, graciously, take on the role of manager, pastry chef, and barista. Everyone gets what they want, but mostly I do.

Loving on the best girl in the whole world.

Once Beau entered the family, she started coming on the hunt for the perfect Christmas tree. This is her fourth year. This year, we have five extra dogs in the house. We decided to save our sanity, and only brought Beau with us to hunt. She loves it. She loved looking at the big dogs that go moo and rubbing up against the pine needles. She did her very best to try and greet every human and pupper she met. And per usual, she did not want to cooperate for family pictures, but I managed to get one nonetheless. 

This is also the first Christmas in my own house. A house with a very high ceiling, a very large living room, and fireplace warranting a large ass tree. I managed to find the chonkiest twelve foot tree I could find. It is a giant of a tree. I love it so much. The amount of joy it brings me is too great for words. Pictures will be coming soon. Bringing it in, setting it up, and decorating it was a several day process because it’s very large and very beautiful. I am in love with my Christmas tree. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna + Beau

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Fiction

Finding Christmas Diversity in Royal Holiday by Jasmine Guillory

RaeAnna
Royal Holiday by Jasmine Guillory

Worth A Read Yes
Length 320
Quick Review Vivian is dragged on holiday to rural, royal England by her daughter. Not only does she get away, she finds love. 

Every December, my reading list becomes inundated with white people doing holiday things because I read Christmas books this time of year. I try to keep my reading list as diverse and mentally stimulating and challenging as possible. Christmas stories are not diverse… in any way; I have been craving more color in my Christmas reading. I finally found it in Jasmine Guillory’s Royal Holiday. Honestly, this is probably one of my favorite rom-commy books I’ve ever read. It’s real and honest and the characters are believable and interesting. I don’t want to punch them. 

Vivian is a social worker about to get a huge promotion she’s worked towards her entire career. Her daughter convinces her to take a trip to England to get away for once. Her daughter is a stylist and will be helping a Duchess during the holidays, so Vivian gets to stay with royalty. While she’s enjoying a week in the lap of luxury, she meets Malcolm, the Queen’s personal secretary. Also, they’re both Black. 

I love that the main character, Vivian, is a single mom in her fifties with a career, drive, adventure, passion, pizzaz, and healthy boundaries. The rom-com problem for her budding relationship with Malcolm is not only believable but a real problem. So often, the obstacle keeping two people apart is ridiculous. Long distance between two powerful working adults, that’s a real obstacle! Workable but hard. 

Enjoying Royal Holiday by Jasmine Guillory in Baytown, Texas. | Dress | Heels | Earrings

Royal Holiday is not devoid of clichés, it has them for sure. Guillory leans into the clichés without letting them ruin or run the novel. The main characters are strong and independent. They want love, but they’re also not willing to sacrifice everything for it. Vivian is established and knows herself; there is a confidence to her character that comes from living a full life. Malcom is normal and easy going. He’s a man a woman would want to be with and should want to be with.

The writing isn’t spectacular, but it’s perfectly suited to the book and the storyline. Guillory does well with the dialogue. She doesn’t saturate the narrative with saccharine antics; it’s the right amount of realistic and optimistic. 

I truly love how wonderful Vivian is. Rom-coms have a tendency to make the characters overly quirky rather than making them relatable and wonderful. Vivian’s just a normal woman with anxieties and excitement and hopes like the rest of us. I don’t want to spoil the ending, but I love it. I respect it. Royal Holiday has an ending that grown women with careers want to watch play out. 

I love that this romantic comedy features a strong, independent woman who gave up nothing for love. She chose happiness, her career, her family, and the man of her dreams. She sacrificed nothing and still won. Thank you Jasmine Guillory for giving me a romantic comedy I actually appreciate and the two main characters are Black. Yay!!! We need this kind of diversity in romantic comedies and Christmas novels. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Royal Holiday is my favorite Christmas read of the year.

Memorable Quotes
“Vivian couldn’t decide what appealed to her more, hot coffee and fresh scones or that man in the corner who looked like a tall mug of hot chocolate.”
“Plus, she was on vacation, for God’s sake—everyone did something a little out of character on vacation, didn’t they?”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

Buy on Amazon | Buy on Book Depository
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Title: Royal Holiday
Author: Jasmine Guillory
Publisher: Berkley
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9780593099049