Anxiety – Page 3 – …on the B.L.

Stormy Days and Anxiety

January 29, 2020January 28, 2020 RaeAnna

wp-1580266279316 — Beau has been dealing with storm induced anxiety. And yes my Christmas tree is still up. Don’t judge me. | Pajamas | Blanket | Chair | Ottoman |

We’re no strangers to anxiety in my house. We deal with it all the time. The past week has been a long one because of all the storms that have been passing through the area.

Houston can have some pretty epic storms. Hurricanes aside. The past few years, January and February have been particularly gloomy and rainy. This past week has been filled with storms, which is particularly stressful for Beau. I was having a gloomy, emotional week completely unrelated to the weather, so I wasn’t too upset that we stayed in and cuddled. I’ve rather enjoyed listening to the rain outside my window as I work or rest or read.

Beau is fine with the rain as long as she doesn’t have to go outside in it and it’s not accompanied by thunder and lightning. Unfortunately, not going potty isn’t an option, and there has been quite a bit of thunder and lightning. So the week has not been ideal.

Mostly, Beau just wants to curl up and cry. Literally, cry. Sometimes she hides in the closet shaking when the winds pick up and thunder claps. She likes to crawl as far into my arms as possible or squeeze herself tightly between Dylan and I on the couch or in bed. When we cuddle in our chair, she nestles into the blankets and lays on top of me. Being touched, held, and loved on makes her feel safer. It doesn’t stop her shakes or whines, but it settles her as much as possible.

Beau has a whole collection of sweaters. They help keep her anxiety in check. On the very worst days, we give her benadryl, which makes her sleepy.

It’s heartbreaking that she has such a hard time with storms. I wish I could do more to help or make her feel better. It’s so much harder when she refuses to leave the house during a storm because she needs to go potty. Sometimes I drag her outside covered in a coat and an umbrella, but she hates when her feet get wet. I have even tried to make her go potty on our covered patio but no. She is a stubborn girl; I have no idea where she gets it from.

I’m hoping the storms will pass soon.

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

Shop the Post
[show_shopthepost_widget id=”3895358″]

Blog + Dog

Fence Climbing Dog

January 16, 2020 RaeAnna

wp-1579159455927 — Running because she wasn’t cooperating and it was the only way to get her to go straight.

wp-1579159455978 — Walking away from the camera because you have to in order to walk towards the camera.

wp-1579159455948 — Staring at the other dogs who CAN’T climb fences. | Dog Collar | Yoga Pants | Hat | Leash

We went to the dog park today, which is not unusual, but I did find out about a fun new skill Beau has acquired.

Abandonment issues are something both Beau and I have in common. Although, hers are much worse than mine. I don’t freak out when my people are within eyesight. Beau does. If there is something keeping her from me and I’m walking away, she’s not a happy camper.

Setting the scene:
Dylan and I walked around the dog part as Beau zoomed and zipped and sniffed butts. She pooped all over the place. She did one last big poop as we were about to leave. Dylan stayed in the dog park with her to clean up the doo-doo pile. I walked to the truck to grab her towel and shampoo so we could clean the gross lake water off her.

Action continues:
As I walked through the gate to go to the truck, Beau started freaking out because the gate and the fence was in her way. She didn’t care Dylan was right there with her. She ran from one side of the gate to the other, SCREAMING!!! Beau was so very unhappy. Even though she could see me, she wasn’t with me.

New found talent:
I was at the truck and turned to look at her. Beau was CLIMBING the fence. When she was near the top of the fence, she looked over it and realized getting over it would be hard. She climbed back down the fence and continued to stare at me whining.

We were reunited a whole two minutes later. It was very devastating and emotionally traumatizing for Beau. I am, obviously, a terrible mother. She managed to survive the whole experience, and we’re curled up in our chair amid a pile of pillows. Tomorrow is a new day, and we will continue to work on our abandonment issues. For now (and hopefully forever) I will remain her dedicated stay-at-home dog mom.

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

Shop the Post
[show_shopthepost_widget id=”3881842″]

In My Own Words, Lifestyle

A Stressed Christmas

December 22, 2019December 22, 2019 RaeAnna

I LOVE Christmas. I really love Christmas.

We’re partying it up in our house with beer (or a teacup that says whiskey with Dr. Pepper inside). | Beau’s sweater | Candy Cane Dress | Glasses | Ugly Sweater | PJ Pants | Socks | Santa Bag | Tree | Earrings |

The holidays are literally my happiest time of the year. I spend two months baking, listening to Christmas movies, wrapping presents, buying presents, making sure the house looks and smells festive. I want everyone who walks in the door to be hit in the face with good cheer and cookies. There’s nothing about the Christmas season I don’t love. That I can think of in this moment. It is absolutely enchanting to me, and it always has been.

I’m friends with a lot of parents. Christmas is four days away, and so many of my parenting friends are over it. In a lot of ways, I DON’T GET IT!!! How can anyone not love the best time of year. In other ways, I totally get it. It’s the time of the year, where your house should look like a magazine all the time because friends and family are coming over. It should look and feel like Christmas. Bake some cookies. Clean. Buy a tree. Clean. Buy presents. Clean. Don’t forget any presents for anyone let alone your friend’s parent’s dog. Put up the tree. Decorate. Clean some more. Throw a party. Go to twelve parties. Make sure you have an ugly Christmas sweater. Clean that thing five more times because life happens and things get dirty.

There is more pressure than any other time of year to be the perfect ‘50s family in a perfect Christmas house brimming with gingerbread cookies, eggnog, and candy canes in every nook and cranny they could even be up your butt. If you don’t know what I’m talking about: turn on the Hallmark channel for fifteen seconds. That’s it. Be that. Anything less than 127.9% happy at all times is not happy enough. If you can’t step in for seventeen of Santa’s elves, You.Are.Failing.Christmas. This is just if you’re breathing. If you’re breathing with kids, the bar is set higher. You have to make Christmas magic for the children and everyone else.

I hate decorating, but I love when my home is decorated, so I suck it up for one day and get it done. Other than that, I love all the things about Christmas because I love having a showroom perfect house (totally anal retentive and OCD); I love listening to nothing but classic Christmas music; any excuse to bake is a good one in my book; I love showering people with presents; I love throwing parties and making sure everyone is 128% happy; I love having an excuse to radiate happiness and wish people well. I am a raging feminist. I am also very much of a Suzy Homemaker in so many ways. I love the Christmas season because it gives me an excuse to go full-RaeAnna on EVERYONE, and no one will think it’s weird for these two months. Christmas epitomizes me as a person, so it makes sense I love it.

Not everyone does. That’s okay!!! I can only imagine how exhausting all of this would be to someone who is not so inclined. I can’t imagine the pressure parents feel to make Christmas perfect. So I’m going to do Christmas my way. I hope you do Christmas your way!!!!

Dylan and I decided to channel “So Over It” by stressed parents on Christmas Eve after the kids have FINALLY gone to sleep waiting for Santa for our Ugly Sweater picture. Even Beau got in on the fun with her ugly sweater. Mine’s not a sweater, but it’s a pretty atrocious dress.

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

Shop the Post
[show_shopthepost_widget id=”3861400″]

In My Own Words, Lifestyle

Swimsuit Season… Uncomfortable

July 9, 2019July 9, 2019 RaeAnna

I’m smiling so hard because I’m sucking in a lot.

Tiptoes makes my legs look good. Posing so hard.

Playing in Galveston! | Bikini Bottoms | Bikini Top

It’s swimsuit season. Although, I live in Houston, so swimsuit season lasts ten and a half months. This summer is a little, lottle, less comfortable for me.

I’m self conscious. I didn’t wear bikinis much or at all until the summer before I went to college when I was 19. I was always a one piece girl. Partially because of my mom, and partially because that’s what is easiest to dive and jump and slide in.

I was a late bloomer. I didn’t really hit puberty until I was 17. I was also very active and genetically super thin. For a very long time, I was a ballerina and built like it. The majority of my life, I was teeny-weeny. Then, I hit puberty, grew boobs and a butt, and gained weight. The things that happen when a girl becomes a woman. From the time I was 18 to 25, my weight fluctuated a lot. I’ve never been heavy, but when you were a size zero for a decade, anything resembling curvy was rough to wrap my head around. Right before I turned 25, I went through a huge health crisis and almost died. It’s a long story. I ended up losing a decent amount of weight and stayed there for the last three years.

Over the last two months, I have been dealing with a lot of stress. I’m also in the midst of an anxiety induced existential crisis perpetuated by OCD. Kidding, kind of. When I’m stressed, I gain weight. A lot. And quickly. In the span of twelve days, I gained 18 pounds. Believe me, it’s possible. I’ve lost eight of those pounds, but I’m hovering ten pounds over where I’m comfortable. No matter what I do, I’m not dropping them. Ugh.

So it’s swimsuit season. I’m in the midst of an ongoing emotional roller coaster. I know I don’t look bad. I’m still on the thin side of normal for my giantess height status. I’m just not as comfortable with where I’m at in comparison to where I’ve been the last few years. I’m still going to wear swimsuits and bikinis because I’m not going to let ten pounds keep me from the cute suits I’ve spent good money on.

Shop the Post
[show_shopthepost_widget id=”3637398″]

Raise your arm. Suck in. Point your toes. Your waist looks thin!

Blog + Dog

Stress Peeing

January 23, 2019 RaeAnna

I wish I could link Beau’s sweater cause it’s adorable! | My sweater | My jeans | My shoes

These pictures really don’t match what I’m about to talk about, but they’re adorable. Her sweater has a hood, ears, AND a little pouf tail. How can you not love her in this??? Yes. We match. I’m insane.

Two weeks ago, we started the moving process into our new and bigger apartment. Beau loves having all the extra room to run around. We have two spare rooms. One will be my office, and the other is her bedroom – guests will use it when they visit. After moving in, we realized there was some water damage from the previous tenants. The apartment management has dealt with it really well, and it is being taken care of. All the work that needs to be done does take time. Contractors are coming in and out. Everything is in boxes because we can’t really put anything away with all the work still being done.

Beau has been an absolute trooper. She has to be in her box or shut up in a room with me while the contractors work because they’re scared of her. I don’t think she’s completely for sure we’re staying here because the boxes haven’t been unpacked yet. Her anxiety has been a bit high the last week with the uncertainty. We’ve had a few instances of stress peeing. She didn’t even realize she did it. I was a little worried it was a UTI, but she’s just fine. Stressed. Poor baby had to wear a doggy diaper for a little bit. She looked so sad and pathetic.

We’ve gone two days without any stress peeing. No diaper. The contractors should be done by the end of the week. Which means I can finally unpack and organize and maybe get a desk for my office, and Beau can get comfy cozy!!!

xoxo,
Beau + RaeAnna

Blog + Dog

Moving

January 16, 2019 RaeAnna

Over the past several days, my little family moved to a new apartment in Houston. Moving sucks. I don’t know anyone who says “Yay! Moving!” After several moves in the last decade, this was the most stressful and the smallest.

Why?

It’s the first time I’ve moved with an anxiety riddled dog.

Traveling with Beau has hurdles. Moving with Beau also has bigger hurdles. The moment things start to change, she gets anxious. Her biggest fear, as far as I can tell, is being left behind. She does everything in her power to be included in everything. The only way to avoid her idiosyncrasies is to hide change from her until the last minute.

Normally, I like to be very organized. Moving is chaos even for the most organized. This was the most chaotic move I’ve ever been in charge of. Chaos ensued for three reasons: 1) We didn’t get back from holiday travels until three days before moving. 2) We didn’t pack at all to help save Beau from a complete mental break. (See above paragraph.) 3) Once we moved in, we realized there was a lot of water damage that needs to be fixed in the new place.

It’s hard to avoid holiday travels.

I had no idea how Beau would do moving, so we didn’t pack anything knowing we would have several days to move. This ended up being chaotic, but a good idea. We took things a little bit at a time starting with all of Beau’s stuff. She stayed in the new apartment as we packed. It helped her get acquainted with the new as the old was being introduced. She settled down a lot once the couch and bed arrived in the new apartment. Although, she did enjoy having a huge empty apartment to run around in with nothing but her toys, which only lasted for a few minutes.

Everything is now in our new apartment in a variety of disarray. It is not sorted or put away because we have contractors coming in and out of the apartment. They’re fixing everything, which is great, but in the meantime, it’s not so great. Beau has to be kept in her crate because the contractors are kind of scared of dogs.

I’m wishing I had one of these magic wands from Sleeping Beauty that organizes, cleans, and puts away.

xoxo,
RaeAnna + Beau