I’m writing this at 4:35 in the morning. I started working the election as a poll worker for early voting last Wednesday. I was going to work a twelve hour shift three days a week, but I ended up being put on the schedule to work seven days a week, twelve hour shifts all the way through until election day. Yay! I’m doing my civic duty and helping make sure this election goes well in a very, very miniscule way.
I had lots of plans for the four days I wasn’t working the election for the next two weeks of October, but that’s obviously not happening now. Busy, busy, busy.
Take a bunch of content photos because I’m beyond behind. Oops. COVID has kept me at home. Oh, and so have the puppies.
Write all of the book reviews. Probably not all of them, but I was hoping to make a serious dent in the stack that is growing at an alarming rate next to my desk. Guess not.
Write a bunch of social justice pieces to remind the public that Trump is the worst and this country needs, quite frankly, anyone but that hot orange garbage pile of a human.
Bake. I was really in a baking mood and felt the fall spice fire burning in my soul. I’m too tired for that now.
Sleep. I am doing that, but not as much as I would like.
Not wake up at 5:00 am. This is always a goal, but I never thought I would write it in a listicle. I guess I do now. 5:00am is horrible. I quit corporate America almost solely because I hate early mornings — I also hated my job. The only time I like to be up before the sun is to catch a plane.
Go to the beach. I’m working by the beach. Unfortunately, I get to the election office before the sun rises and leave after the sun sets. Beach will wait until after November 3.
Post a few book reviews about how Trump and his administration is awful. Because… they are awful. Time to go. Bye.
See my dogs. I think they’re about to have a nervous break because they’re not used to mommy not being home. Right now, mommy is gone a whole fucking lot. I’m ready to be home again.
Really double down on some freelancing efforts. COVID hit freelancers and creatives hard. I’m definitely feeling it monetarily. I’m fine, but I’d like to get my income back up, up, up to where it was and even higher. So I was going to take some time to revamp some things and get back in the groove.
Pain my office… I’m working behind the bar in my house. Yes I have a bar in the living room, which has turned into my home office. The puppies have made it hard for me to get my office put together, but I was determined to have it done by Halloween. Well… no.
I’m so happy I’m working the election. That is far more important than accomplishing any of the above eleven. These are all goals I had, but they can all wait. I’m learning so much being out and around people who are voting. I’m definitely collecting stories from working the election during COVID, so stay tuned for that post coming your way eventually.
bisous und обьятий, RaeAnna
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The recipe for this delicious salad is at the bottom of the article.
Tuesday, September 22, 2020 marked the official start to fall in all its glory. I grew up in a place that had a bonafide fall season; though its length and strength changed from year to year or even day to day, there was a changing of the leaves, a crisp smell hanging in the air, and a reason to don sweaters and a jacket. I no longer live in a place filled with fall, but it’s still fueled with fall or at least the illusion of fall.
Houston is a crazy place where fall doesn’t exist in any kind of satisfying way. There are sweaters in stores with no reason to wear them for more than a month. Pumpkin spice is everywhere, but people get it iced to cool off from the 90° heat stroke. Leaves don’t so much as turn an array of colors as they turn brown and hang out on the ground.
Pretty much the most autumnal I can get around here are the solids and liquids I shove in my mouth on as regular basis as I can during the “fall” months, or as I like to call them in Houston: the slightly, less hot continuation of summer months.. So here are eleven fall foods and drinks I love to consume.
Apple Cider—I love apple cider so much. I have to go light on the cinnamon because it gives me migraines. Sometimes I throw caramel in there because I’m super fancy and I like calories. Houston doesn’t have apple orchards, so I don’t get to that cute crap. I’ll just drink apple cider and pretend.
Pumpkin Pie—It’s an autumnal staple for a reason. It’s delicious, and I love it. The smell fills the whole house as it’s baking. I hate store bought pumpkin pie, they never get the spices right. I will literally eat a whole pumpkin pie all by myself. You don’t even have to dare me.
Roast Beef, Mashed Potatoes, and Gravy—Maybe it’s because I’m from the Midwest and we thrive on meat and potatoes. But there is something positively homely about a house filled with the smell of roast beef, mashed potatoes, and all the yummy juices that will turn into gravy.
Hot Chocolate—Hot chocolate is the best. It’s the best thing about cold weather, especially when it’s topped with more marshmallows than a cup can physically hold. I make awesome hot chocolate in the French way.
Ginger Cookies—I use my great-grandma’s recipe. They are to die for. Soft in the middle, crisp around the edges, delightful all the way around. I start making them by the dozens this time of year.
Fall Salads—I can’t narrow it down to just one. I love fall salads. They’re heavy on the arugula and squash and warm, yummy goodness.
Red Beans and Rice—A Louisiana staple. I spent a lot of time in New Orleans growing up. This is one of my happy foods. It’s warm, filling, and delicious. It’s one of my favorite dishes to make for entertaining because I can make a huge batch. What doesn’t get used can be frozen to be enjoyed easier.
Sweet Potato/Squash Everything—These things make me so happy. Roasted, pureed, soup, sweet, savory, happiness. I love grabbing them from a farmer’s market or produce stand. They’re such humble ingredients that can be turned into really amazing dishes. I can’t choose; I love them all ways.
White Chili—I really… hate chili. Normal chili. The red, beefy chili. I find it gross. I don’t know why; I just do. However, I love white chili. It’s basically just a chicken, bean soup with lots of yummy goodness.
Cherry Pie with Crumble Topping—Crumble topping is the only way to go. I don’t know why, but a normal pie crust topping doesn’t cut it. The crumble is the best. Cherry pie literally tastes better in the fall. I only eat it in the fall. I love it and will eat it so enthusiastically.
Pecans in Baked Goods—Pecans reign supreme over all other nuts. Mixing them with butter and sugar and carbs makes them a complete mouth orgasm. I’m gonna go grab a handful now. I love them in a bourbon bread pudding, cookies, brownies, cake, everything, and all the things. So good. So, so, so good.
Basically, fall is the time to start eating as much sugar in any and every way possible. Gotta fluff up for the colder months. Fall foods are all about happiness for me. They just bring joy and comfort for me.
I started making the following salad over the summer. It’s not necessarily super fall, but it is perfect for the warmer fall we experience in the south. It’s cool and filling but hearty for fall. I love it as a side dish or as a light lunch or dinner. It keeps for up to a week in the fridge, so I make a big batch and eat away at it.
So much healthy yum in one bowl.
Ingredients
3 cups White Beans (canned or dry)
1 large Purple Onion
3 cloves Garlic
1 bunch Oregano (or whatever your favorite herb is)
3 lemons
Olive Oil
1 Red Pepper
1 Orange Pepper
1 Jalapeno
1 Cucumber
3 handfuls Grape Tomatoes
Salt
Pepper
Feta
Chives
Instructions
The hardest part of this recipe is cutting all of the ingredients to whatever size you want them to be, but cut them all up!
If you’re using dry beans, make sure to rehydrate and cook them. If you’re using canned beans, drain them and wash them in cold water.
Pour beans into a big mixing bowl.
Cut onions into as small or big as you want them to be. Put them into a small bowl and cover with water. This takes away their bite.
Chop the garlic and toss in the bowl with the beans.
Deseed and cut up the peppers, jalapenos, and cucumbers and toss them into the bowl with the beans.
Cut the grape tomatoes into quarters and toss in the bowl with the beans.
Chop the oregano (herb) and chives and toss in the bowl with the beans.
Add as much or as little feta as you want into the bowl.
Drain the purple onions of all water and toss in the bowl.
Salt and pepper to taste.
Drizzle with olive oil as much as you like.
Cut lemons in half and squeeze the juice into the bowl.
Mix the salad and let sit for a few hours before enjoying.
It’s a really, really easy salad to make. It takes a little time because you have to cut all the veggies into little pieces, but it’s healthy and so worth it.
Enjoying a quiet moment in a peony garden in Iowa. | Dress | Earrings
Life is a cluster fuck right now; there’s no better way of putting it. COVID has done a number on people, economies, jobs, politics, society, the world. You name it, it’s been touched by COVID. This year has felt like the longest, gloomiest day ever. COVID is the single most pervasive thing I have encountered in my entire life. Sex, money, and power might be more pervasive, but it’s a close race.
Last week, I wrote about eleven shit things going on in my life right now. Optimism and positivity do not come naturally to me. I’m an upbeat person with a morose soul. I’m trying to keep things happy inside my head because I have six fuzz balls depending on mommy to not spiral into a well of sadness. They need and deserve a happy mommy who can talk in a high pitched puppy voice coming from her heart and not faked.
Here are eleven ways life is nice to me.
I have six amazing dogs that make me feel more loved than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. Love just pours out of every possible opening of my soul for these dogs. I wish I had six bodies and all the money I could possibly need so every inch of my body and second of my time could be spent loving them. Alas, I have work to do so I can pay for their extravagant eating habits. Taking in a rescue and four puppies was borderline bonkers, but it is the best decision I have made. It’s been the best thing I have ever done for my soul. I love them.
I own a house. Yay for housing. That one was touch and go for a while, which was rough. We’ve been in the house for three full months, almost four. It’s still a mess, but it’s ours. Eventually things will get done, but I’m enjoying watching the puppies grow into dogs in their home. No more moving! For a while at least.
Not traveling. I hate writing this one, but in its own way, not traveling has been a good thing. I’ve been able to concentrate on my family and dogs. I miss being on the road and the trips I was supposed to take, but I will never get the puppy months back. Scotland and all the other places will still be there. The money I would have spent on trips has gone to the dogs or kept safe for travels at a later date. I’ve been able to put some roots down in the new area of Houston I live, which I was never able to do because I was always off on another adventure.
Dancing has always been a part of my life. I love it. I trained to do it professionally for a long time. Obviously, that didn’t pan out. I haven’t danced in years and years and years. Partially because of money. Partially because of time. Partially because I was never anywhere long enough to find a dance studio. Well, I’ve been able to start dancing again, and I’ve found some really lovely new friends!
I have always loved big picture windows. I never thought about or wanted to buy a house, so I always admired other people’s beautiful windows. Our house has these awful original windows from the 70s. They’re not pretty, and they’re really not energy efficient. Replacing windows is expensive. We can’t do the whole house at once, but we decided to put new windows in the living room and a new sliding glass door in the dining room. Wow! I love it. They’re big and beautiful, and they make being stuck at home so much better aesthetically. Oh and it took a HUGE chunk out of our electric bill!
Work is slow. I miss having oodles of work to do. It seems like a bummer, but it’s a blessing. Having less work to occupy my time has allowed me the ability to raise my dogs and provide them with a stable and healthy environment. I have the time to make sure their needs are met. I’ve been able to get to know them and pay attention to their individual personalities and nuances, which has enabled me to catch health concerns long before I would have if I would’ve had my usual work load. Slowing down has been a gift to me and my dogs.
I’ve done a lottle retail therapy. There have been some seriously good sales because of COVID, and I took advantage. I didn’t need to, but I did. And someday, I’ll get to wear these super cute clothes I just bought again. Also I finally found a computer bag I like, so I don’t have to put my computer in my purse anymore. Woo!
Having a ginormous couch is the best thing ever. Fuckers it was expensive. I hate spending money, but buying a giant, comfy couch was a really, really excellent use of money. I’ve been dealing with health issues, so I’ve been clocking in some serious couch hours. It’s big enough for the entire family to sit on, and it’s blue. Wins all around.
I have learned so much about pop culture. I really hate being unproductive, but I also really love it. I miss getting shit tons of things done and going everywhere and doing all the things. But I also love not getting to. Being at home and binging Netflix/Hulu/Disney+/Amazon. I’m super unproductive in a tangible way. The blog is floundering. My work is slow. Boy am I catching up on pop culture! I’ve learned so much useless crap about the world and generation I live in. Who knew about Memes? Apparently everyone, and now I do too!
Cooking and baking is something I love to do. But I’ve done exactly almost none of that during the pandemic. Instead, I have been embracing the exhausted mom-life and supporting local places through delivery. And now that I live somewhere more conducive to ordering in, I have loads of options! Just last night, I had amazing pot roast that did not require me spending hours in the kitchen cooking.
I have spent more consecutive time with my boyfriend than ever before. I think I still like him. We’ve definitely had more tête-à-têtes than usual, but that’s because we’ve had more concentrated time together, even though we’ve lived together for four years. Gotta love COVID!
bisous und обьятий, RaeAnna
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Life is always difficult. I would like to meet the person who says it isn’t and learn their secret. Until that person makes themselves known, I’m going to continue operating under the premise: life is hard, and there is always that obstacle, that health issue, that person, that work project, that special something that makes life a little less pleasant than I’d like it to be. Sometimes all of those somethings at once, which is a total bugger of a situation.
In so many ways my life is really lovely right now. Next week’s 11… will be a post about the lovely things in my life, but right now. Nope. I’m going to complain.
I pooped my pants today. That is correct. You read that correctly. No typo. I would love to tell you this is an isolated incident. It’s not. Since I was 24 and went through quite a major health incident, my body does not always work properly—rarely ever. I go through particularly bad periods where I can’t stray too far away from the bathroom, which is a real problem for any kind of social life, plan making, trip taking, or work doing. It could be a lot worse, but it was just an incentive to do some laundry.
My Anxiety Demon is stalking me. Anxiety is no joke. It’s been making my life difficult for as long as I can remember, but over the last few months, it’s been making itself known excessively. Currently contemplating life without sleep or responsibility as a solution. So far not working.
Sedated Tess. Tessa is my angel baby. She came to me and brought responsibilities of enormous proportion at a time when the distraction and love was everything I needed with the bills, everything I did not. She permanently brought me Knight, Makeda, Duke, and Bear and let me take care of nine other babies until their furever families could take them home. Tess is on the tail end of her heartworm journey. YAY! But she still has six months until we get the all clear. And another month of restricted activity, which means sedation. She’s a nightmare on sedation. Grumpy, ass bitch (in the most literal of terms). I get it, she’s frustrated, but it is hard when we have a houseful of dogs wanting to play, and Tess wants to eat them because they get to play and she doesn’t.
One of our air conditioning units and the furnace needs to be replaced. Living in Houston, air conditioning is as necessary as food. I need it to function. Ours is on its last leg. So fun.
Depression. My Depression Demon and Anxiety Sadist are currently skipping hand in hand around my brain. It’s great. Quite the houseparty they’ve got going on. I’m just waiting on them to invite Insecurity Fiend and Nervous Nelly over for some real fun.
Duke has a SEVERE overbite. We’ve been monitoring it since we first noticed a hint of overbite. He had a check up with the vet last month, and we were told he would be fine until his next check in at eight months old to see how it’s doing. Well, we noticed some holes in the upper palate of his mouth from his teeth being misaligned from the overbite. We took him in immediately. Well, he (and all the other puppies) are growing so fast, their little bodies are changing like crazy. He needs to be seen like yesterday by a dental specialist/orthodontist to correct the damage that’s already been done and make adjustments to his mouth to prevent further damage. Yikes.
Money seems to be flowing out of my pocket like it’s air. Between buying a house, all the issues that come with that, and my dogs’ issues, I am broke. I mean, I have enough money to eat, but the savings are depleted, and credit cards are tired. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade them for the world, and I am so glad they found a home with me because I know they will be taken care of and their needs will be met. But it does take a toll on the emotions and the wallet. No regrets. They are worth it, and I’m truly grateful I have a partner as committed to giving up and cutting back where we can so that we can put that money towards the needs of our babies’ health.
I rolled my ankle today. There’s a running joke in my family that I can dance beautifully, but that walking really trips me up. Literally. I now have the added obstacle of a step down into my living room and hardwood floors that need to be replaced because they buckle, popping up randomly in the middle of rooms.
I have hardwood floors that buckle, popping up randomly in the middle of rooms. This is a problem. It’s because when the floors were installed by the previous owners, they were done super wrong. It’s going to be expensive to redo the whole first floor, and right now the money is going to make sure the doggos are healthy.
Motivation. What is that? I have lost pretty much all motivation to hunt down writing gigs or even write the bare minimum for the blog. Most days, I feel a great sense of accomplishment that all six dogs and the man-friend are fed and alive. Part of it is a mental thing. I’m out of the habit and out of the mindset of working eight to fourteen hours a day. The other part is the lack of time. I have time, but I don’t have unencumbered time. It is really, really, really, really hard to read more than two pages without having to get up and referee a disagreement or figure out why the house is so quiet or let the dogs out so no one pees in the house or feed them or any number of things that come up. Imagine trying to sit down and actually write a book review or blog post or anything! It’s hard. I’ve had to start going to Starbucks to write for an hour before/after yoga. Which is really saying something, since I’m notorious for hating to work anywhere except my [home] office.
I don’t get to travel! Traveling is the way I decompress. It is my way of getting to breathe. I’m lucky that I can take my job with me wherever I go, and that my boyfriend is a live-in doggy daddy who can and does take care of the dogs when I leave. With the pandemic, there is no leaving. There’s staying. Nothing but staying. I love my home. I love my life. But I’m ready to get back on the road again.
Like everyone on the planet, I’m actually dealing with even more things than this right now, some more serious, some less, but this is a really good highlight reel of life being life. I’m complaining because I can, but I genuinely love my life and appreciate it. And, truly, it could be a gazillion times worse.
bisous und обьятий, RaeAnna
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I’m sure Freud has something to say about that title.
When we’re children, we stick everything in our mouths because that’s one way we learn. It’s also evolution’s way of weeding out the real dummies. Kidding. As adults, we are more fastidious about what we shove into our mouths. But there’s really only one way to know if you’ll like it or not: open up and let your tongue decide.
Bland Indian Food This deserves to be number one for a reason!!! (The rest are not in numerical order, but this one is.) Bland should never be an adjective for Indian food. They just don’t go together. But I have had bland Indian food, and it was the most disappointing thing I’ve ever experienced. It hurt my soul and sent me to Yelp, which never happens. Zero stars. Go somewhere else.
Bad Banana Bread Is there anything worse? Absolutely, but this is disappointing. Dry banana bread is the most disappointing, but I made bad banana bread a couple weeks ago. (Pictured) It was totally done on the outside yet pudding-like on the inside. Why? Because I ran out of regular flour and used whole wheat flour to finish it off. Nope. Doesn’t work. Don’t do it. DISAPPOINTING.
“World’s Best [anything]” It’s not. They just put it on the sign to make you stop and steal your money with their disappointing world’s not best whatever.
This One Dude in College I’ll keep it at: disappointment. Wherever your mind wandered, subtract all of the inches and it’s still more than what it was.
Anything Chocolate Chip When You’re Expecting Blueberry I’m weird. I don’t like chocolate chip muffins or cookies or really anything. It’s such a disappointment when it turns out to be chocolate instead of blueberry, which I don’t love, but give me a free muffin, I will take it.
Post Five Second Rule In my house, if it hits the floor, it’s the dogs’. There is too much puppy glitter – aka dog hair – for me to put anything in my mouth once it hits the ground. I found this out the hard way. Water only does so much.
Dog Treats That Look Like Human Cookies I love giving my dog pretty treats. They deserve nice things too. But when I grab a cookie out of a jar, I want it to be a human cookie. Label that shit!
Tea Bags I mean tea bags with tea in them not the other thing that dudes do [Although, that’s pretty disappointing to have in your mouth too. Balls!]. Once you’ve gotten used to that high roller life of loose leaf tea, tea bags are just not so good.
Cilantro Everything There’s a genetic component in this one, which doesn’t apply to me. Cilantro doesn’t taste like soap to me; I just don’t love it. I don’t hate it, but it is a continual let down because it’s never as good as people say it is.
Folgers My high school AP U.S. History teacher (Mr. Mooney was the best) referred to this as the F word. He’d rather hear “fuck” than “Folgers” in his classroom; neither were encouraged. It’s not the best part of waking up. Don’t lie to me like that Folgers.
Real Milk When You Ordered Almond Milk This is disappointing because it tastes so good and you realize it tastes so good because the barista did it wrong and gave you the thing you can’t have instead of the less good thing you can have, and it’s the worst because you think, “Man, they have some bomb almond milk” only to realize “Nope, almond milk still tastes like almond milk, and this is good because fat.”
bisous und объятий, RaeAnna
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I have finally found jumpsuits that don’t give me a 180 wedgie!I’m really loving these jumpsuit pictures. | Shoes | Earrings
Average Height of All Men: 5’9 or 5’6” (depending on what source you choose) Average Height of American Men: 5’10” (almost) Average Height of All Women: 5’3” Average Height of American Women: 5’4” Average Height of Women Supermodels: 5’9″ My Height: 5’10”
To be considered a tall woman in the United States, she must achieve 5’7” in vertical talent. I’m three inches more talented than that. Also, I’m taller than a lot of models. Hello, Ford Models! I’m waiting for my contract.
National and international heights are trending upwards. Over the last 150 years, the average height for people living in industrialized nations has increased by FOUR inches. Evolution plays a part in the height increase because ladies like the tall guys, and tall guys usually make tall or tallish humans. However, evolution doesn’t play a big enough part in the equation to explain an increase of four inches in such a short period of time. Nutrition is the key component. For most of history, food was not readily available, and the first modern, one-stop American grocery store didn’t open until August 1930. Dying of hunger was a pretty common reason for death for a long time. If you wanted to eat, you had to hunt, gather, farm, or steal it. As food became more accessible, children started eating regular meals. Well fed children are healthier children, and those children grow the way they’re supposed to into non-stunted adults. Food isn’t just more accessible, it’s more nutritious than it was before because technology. There’s a lot of really interesting proof and resources on the subject, but back to me!
I guess my parents fed me because I’m a tall lady. The funny thing is I’m the short one on my dad’s side of the family. My aunt is 6’ tall and my cousin (her daughter) is well on her way. Growing up I was never tall for my age. When most girls stopped growing between 13 and 15, I kept growing for another six years. I started being “tall” my sophomore year in high school. By the time I was a senior, I was one of the tallest girls in school and there were 1,500 students. I stopped growing at 21. In college, my friends were shocked I was still growing out of pants for reasons other than I had an obsession with chocolate milk, candy, and cake. My feet stopped growing when I was 13… My body is and always has been confused.
I love being tall for so many reasons. I don’t need to ask people to get things off the top shelf. I have a great line of sight pretty much everywhere. There are some real downsides, though.
Jumpsuits!!! I hated on jumpsuits for a long time when they came back into style. Not because I didn’t like them, but because they didn’t like me. I was like the mean girl in high school when it came to jumpsuits. Being tall, jumpsuits are not usually designed with me in mind, and I don’t have the budget to buy jumpsuits designed for supermodels. Not only is it a wedgie in the back, it’s a wedgie in the front. 180° wedgie. Cute. In the last year or so, brands have started making jumpsuits for tall girls. Old Navy, Aerie, I’m looking at you. I can now enjoy them!!!! And they’re great. Ugh, finally I can stop being mean to jumpsuits.
I REALLY AM 5’10” This may just be me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m curvy or proportional or my personality or what it is, but people will argue with me about how tall I am… Even in person! Over the interwebs, fine whatever. I don’t care. But when I’m right in front of you! Ugh. I am actually 5’10”. I’ve had 5’8” (other heights too, but it’s almost always someone around the 5’8” range that wants to prove to me they’re taller. No you’re not. I’ll sit on you, stop.) men and women try to argue that I’m definitely shorter than them. When we go back to back and their hand comes halfway up my head, they eat shit! Because I am taller than them. Ha! I don’t know why this irritates me so much. It really doesn’t matter. Being tall doesn’t make me or anyone else better than anyone else, but some people really want to argue that I’m not tall because I don’t look tall… Sorry not all 5’10” girls look like Victoria’s Secret models. Which speaks to the fact Victoria’s Secret really needs to diversify their angels. Come on guys (and yes dudes, they’re in charge), it’s 2020.
Sometimes I want to feel small. I don’t know why, but sometimes I just want to feel little. Maybe this just has to do with sex. Watch TV or movies. Sexy scenes dudes are picking up girls and walking to the bedroom or pushing them up against a wall or a door or a whatever. It just doesn’t work with a tall girl. The legs go everywhere. Or maybe I need to diddle stronger dudes. You’re welcome for too much information.
Pants I am a vocal opponent of pants, but I wear them far more than I would like to. In order to wear them, I have to find ones that fit. I have curves aka an ass and hips. For some reason, most brands don’t make pants for tall girls with an ass in a size 4 or 6. It’s super frustrating. Where am I supposed to put this butt? Obviously not in these pants.
Dating… I’m taller than the average man in the United States (and world but I’ve not had the opportunity to date internationally yet), which means over half of the guys in this country are shorter than me by a little or a lot. I don’t mind dating short guys. Most of the guys I have dated are shorter than me. My current boyfriend and I are basically the same height (he’s actually shorter, but I’m sparing his feelings by saying we’re basically the same height), so when I put heels on, we’re in different elevation zones. It seems like the taller the guy the shorter the girl. My brother (6’2”) married a 5’½” woman. Look at professional athletes… Point proven. After dating a guy who was 5’5” – on a good day – it’s better for my back to date taller guys, which is why tall guys should date tall girls: I’M GOOD FOR YOUR BACK!!! THINK OF OLD YOU, PICK ME!
Dresses… Maxi dresses are my favorite because they make me feel like a classy lady even though I’m absolutely bonkers. Maxi dresses are not practical in most situations, but it’s hard finding short dresses that don’t also show off my labia. (Spanx are my best friend for this reason and the chafe.) Even maxi dresses are hard because they’re never quite long enough. I end up buying tea length dresses because it cuts down on the voyeurism. Just forget clubbing dresses. That’s a hard nope. I’ve seen strippers with less visible skin than me in a minidress.
Men get weirdly competitive. Sometimes when dudes are shorter than me, they get competitive about all sorts of random shit. Maybe they’re trying to prove their masculinity because I have somehow demasculinized them with my height. Whatever it is, it’s weird and usually mean and/or super disrespectful.
Economy on an airplane is really fucking tight. This is not exclusively for ladies. It’s inclusive for all tall people. It’s tight. It’s uncomfortable. I feel like I’m eating my knees. Also car rides in the backseat. Really any place with a minimal amount of leg room.
Gal pal pictures are weird. I love my girlfriends. They’re amazing, but almost all of them are significantly shorter than me. My very best friend is exactly my height. I have an Aussi friend here in Houston who is taller than me. A friend from college was taller. That’s it. Most everyone else is under 5’4”. Do I strike a sorority girl pose so we’re all the same height? Slouch and look lumpy and frumpilicious? Or do I stand normally and be super tall and have them use my boobies as pillows? I don’t have the answer, I’m genuinely asking what looks better.
Defined waistlines… I love them because they cinchy-cinch my waist and draw attention to my hourglass shape. Yay! …Except defined waistlines are put into dresses based on average height ladies. So almost all defined waists hit me in an unflattering space between an empire waist and the fourth and sixth rib. It’s not cute. It doesn’t even make me look like I have Amazonian legs… It just makes me look fatter than I am. It took me a long time to just put dresses back when the waist doesn’t hit AT my waist. Heartbreaking but the best choice for looking like I know how to shop for my body.
Barres are not made for me. I trained to be a ballerina for a long time. I have recently started taking barre and ballet classes again. I’m taller now than I was in my ballet days (remember, I kept growing until I was 21), and barres are not set at appropriate heights for tall ladies. While everyone else is enjoying their average height barre, I’m bending over trying to reach it, not getting any stretch, or just balancing on my own because it’s useless.
If you haven’t noticed, I didn’t put heels on this list because I don’t find heels to be a struggle. I love heels. I have always loved heels. I’m going to wear them even though they make me very, very, very tall. Even when I dated the 5’5” dude, wore heels! It’s not a struggle. It’s great! Many other tall ladies feel selfconscious in heels, and I don’t think they should be. If they want to wear heels, wear the damn heels. Because one day we’ll be old and have old lady knees, and we shouldn’t walk around in our orthopedic shoes saying we wish we would’ve worn those cute shoes.
bisous und обьятий, RaeAnna
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