There really is only one thing I hate about traveling. It’s leaving without Beau. I take her with me as much as I possibly can, but sometimes I just can’t. When I’m going somewhere she can’t be or I’m flying, Beau can’t come with and has to stay at home with her dad, who she loves.I travel so much, so Beau knows the signs.
She starts to whine and pace and crawl in my suitcase. Whoops that rhymes.
Beau loves to come with me on my travels. I don’t think she really cares where we’re going or why, but she does like to be with me. When she doesn’t get to come, she has perfected the sad puppy eyes. She’s good at them. It absolutely breaks my heart in two. One piece stays with her, and the other piece stays with me. If we were eight, we would have the best friend heart necklaces, but we’re not.
“Mom don’t go!”
I spend as much time with her before I leave, but it really doesn’t get easier. The moment I close the door behind me to leave, she starts howling. It is so sad.
This past month has been crazy busy with travels. None of which she could accompany me. Luckily, I’m home for a little while before I’m off again. So Beau and I are getting tons of cuddles in. She is not hesitating to use her sad eyes on me to get extra treats.
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I don’t live and have never lived anywhere hiking can be done on a regular basis, so I only hike on vacation. This allows me to maintain the allusion hiking is super duper fun.
You can entice me into a hike for a good picture.
Hiking doesn’t suck when I’m with people I genuinely like. Exercise is unpleasant, so when I hike with people I don’t truly enjoy being with, I want to punch people.
If there’s a waterfall, I will really hike for that.
I’m a big fan of getting where I’m going. This factor is multiplied when I’m hiking. I will stop when I need to. Otherwise, I am a one direction, uphill, mountain climbing machine.
Humidity doesn’t bother me, even when I’m hiking.
There is a very good chance my hike will double in length before I’m done. This usually happens because I accidentally took a wrong turn or decided I’m superwoman and wanted to go farther before remember I’m not.
I always feel like I’ve lost sixteen pounds after hiking.
When hiking with my bestie or boyfriend, I like to be ridiculous by making them wear matching shirts or in a more recent instance cat ears.
My favorite places to go hiking are Steamboat Springs Colorado and my new favorite place Lake Tahoe. They’re super beautiful, full of mountains, and great for picture taking opportunities.
The best compliment I’ve ever received was when I went hiking in Colorado with my boyfriend. I made him hike like there’s no tomorrow. He’s a retired Marine. He said hiking with me is “worse than the Crucible.” Best. Compliment. Ever.
bisous und обьятий, RaeAnna
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Soaking up the sun in Carson City, Nevada. | Pants | Sports Bra |
I never wanted a military relationship. On a technicality, I never had an official, romantic, military relationship. But I have been in a military relationship from start to finish.
Shortly after Alex and I started dating in the winter of 2011, he told me he wanted to go into the military after graduating from college that spring. I knew I didn’t want to be in college while my boyfriend was off being a soldier or whatever. If he wanted to be in the military, then we would be friends. I wouldn’t do it with him.
Alex was never supposed to be anything more than a fling. He was a senior. I was a freshman. Neither of us were looking for anything. But he was cute; I was awkward. I made a move; it worked. Instead of flinging it, we fell in love. The kind of profound love that can only come about when inexperience combines with true compatibility, honesty, and dedication. I was raw and broken emotion, and he didn’t turn away from my pain. I saw through his façade to the man I still see today. It was and is the kind of love which reaches deep within two souls. Alex is written on my DNA. There is not a part of me remaining he has not touched. I am the person I am because he took the time to see me. I used to think he made me the person I am, but that’s not true. He did not make me; I made me, but he pushed.
After five years, I finally have pictures of this sign.
Love is an extraordinary force. The love we found made him decide to put his military aspirations away so we could be together. A year and a half after he chose me over the military, we were laying in bed. He stared at the ceiling as he said, “I think, I still want to go into the military.” I loved him, and I knew this was something he needed to do or he would resent the what ifs. He met recruiters from every branch. As a couple, we met with the branches he was most impressed with. Together, we decided on the Marines. It took almost a year between interviewing recruiters to sending him to boot camp. OCS was the first choice, but the political climate and a paperwork fiasco made that process long and unreasonable. He didn’t want to wait any longer, so he enlisted in October 2013. By that time, we were no longer a couple, but we were still committed to each other, sharing a home, bills, and responsibilities. I watched him swear in before the bus took my Alex to become a Marine. I heard boot camp changed people, and I had no idea who I would hug at graduation in three months. I’m convinced nothing can change my Alex because he was exactly the same willful, messy, smart, inquisitive, sarcastic, quirky, goof of a person. He did have abs, though.
Six years. Five birthdays. Four ranks. Three deployments. Two quals. One extension. Sergeant LeFebvre.
It may not have been an official, romantic, military relationship. But I have been in a military relationship. I have been there for him in every way that I could. I have showed up for ceremonies and a homecoming. I have gone to balls and family days. I have written letters. I have made phone calls. I have planned and replanned trips. I have waited and wondered. I have sent care packages. I have attended weddings. I have made friends. I have bought plane tickets and driven over night. I have whisked him away and staycationed. I have been there.
The military has kept him away from me. He hasn’t been able to support me or show up for me. That’s not his fault. It’s not my fault. It’s military life. We signed up for it. We agreed to it. We knew what that contract meant. It never made his absence less painful. Agreeing to something and dealing with something are not the same. I graduated college, which was largely due to his existence in my life. I hoped he would be there to surprise me. He didn’t. I moved and got a job. I wanted him to celebrate with me. He didn’t. I ended up in the hospital and almost died. I prayed he could be there to hold my hand. He didn’t. I had surgery. I wished he could take care of me. He didn’t. I moved across the country. I wanted him to move me. He didn’t. I got sick and spent months trying to figure out what was wrong. I needed to hold his hand. He didn’t. I made friends, who I wish he could meet. He hasn’t.
Seriously. This is a great sign. Also, taking pictures without a tripod and only a phone… difficult.
I have been a part of Alex’s life for six years, but he has not been a physical part of mine. It’s not that Alex is a bad guy or doesn’t want to be a part of my life, but the military makes it difficult if not impossible. We have done what we can, but now, we’ll be able to do more. Alex missed so many things in my life, and we can’t get those back. The future holds possibility.
As of today, an era has ended. With DD 214, he’s on his way home. For good. He’ll always be a Marine, but he’s no longer active duty. A new journey is unfolding for him. One that will more easily allow him to be a part of my life. As happy as I am, it is bittersweet saying goodbye to our years in the military and being military adjacent. We both grew as people. He’s a better man, and I’m a more self-sufficient woman. I don’t know how our lives will look, but it will be different.
Dear Alex,
I am so fucking proud of you. I didn’t want this to be my life in 2011. By 2013, I had accepted this would be part of my life for an indeterminate amount of time. Six years is shorter than twenty, so thank you.
Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life before the military, during, and after. Being your partner has been one of the greatest pleasures of my life. I don’t know who I would be without your constant presence, pressure, and reassurance even if it was in an email from a boat in the middle of somewhere. You have been worth every tear and worry crinkle but mostly laugh lines.
There is so much I won’t miss about the military. I will miss the balls, obviously. I will miss getting breakfast at the cafe downtown. I will miss the Marina. I will miss dragging you to lighthouses. I will miss the barracks in a masochistic sort of way. I will miss the idiots doing idiot things. I will miss your friends who I adore to tease. I will miss buying t-shirts that say Marines. I will miss the hanger and hearing helicopters over head. I will miss the lotion in the base hotel. I will miss the Aviation Memorial. I will miss driving through base. I will miss hearing acronyms. I will miss listening to you talk about your zingers and all the ways you annoy your peons. I will miss seeing you in uniform. I will miss the Pardon Our Noise; It’s the Sound of Freedom sign.
Most of all, I will miss walking next to you on Onslow Beach on Camp Lejeune. We have walked up and down that beach so many times over the last five years. We’ve walked it in July’s scorching sun and in December wrapped in sweaters. It was one of the first things we did on my first trip to Jacksonville and one of the last. I have collected the memories along with the rocks and shells you’ve given me on that beach. You never loved it as much as I did, but you always walked with me, no matter what.
I love traveling. Obviously. I do it all the time. I last left Jacksonville a month and four days ago, so why am I back so soon?
Jacksonville, North Carolina is an interesting place. I was not immediately smitten. The process took a few years. Situated in swamplandia, it’s not much to look at. Their main claim to fame is the Marine Base: Camp LeJeune. Like most military towns, there is an abundance of strip clubs, pawn shops, used car dealerships, tattoo parlors, and barbershops because what else could a young military man want (and I do mean man, well maybe guy). The average age of the town can’t be more than 25 because the military is notoriously young. The natives are ambivalent towards the transient military community, but they manage to coexist in the dysfunctionally-functional way people trend toward. When a civilian finds out I’m in town visiting a guy in the military, their eyes glaze over and I receive a cursory nod and “Oh…” before they move on to more interesting clichés of life. Wealth is not evident, and the town feels like it would immediately implode if the military ever forsook them. There are pieces of history and beauty scattered throughout. A river runs through downtown on its way to the ocean, where you can find a wooden boardwalk sloping from age and water. A cobblestone block runs in front of a cute café. Historic buildings, Victorian homes with wrap around porches, and a white-steepled church make the area quintessentially small town cute. It did take me four and a half years to find this spot in town devoid of strip malls and other less than tasteful establishments.
All of that said, I have a warm spot in my heart for this hiccup of place. What the town lacks, nature makes up for. People are genuinely kind, whether I’m military adjacent or not. Many are far from home, hailing from every nook and cranny of the country. Where the city stops, the ocean and forest immediately begin. You don’t have to drive more than fifteen minutes to find a beach. If you’re willing to go a little farther, you can find lighthouses and islands and the North Carolina of postcards.
The small town cute in downtown Jacksonville.
I have no desire to live in Jacksonville. There is a HUGE chance, I’ll never be within city limits after this trip is done.
I’ve been a frequent and enthusiastic visitor to Jacksonville, Camp LeJeune, and MCAS New River because it has been home to my best friend for five and a half years. After finishing boot camp and his MOS training, he was stationed as a helicopter mechanic at MCAS New River. I visited him for the first time in Jacksonville exactly five years ago to the day for Labor Day weekend. We went to beaches and reconnected after eight months apart. My life has changed immensely in those five years. I quit my jobs in downtown Chicago’s corporate America, which allowed me to see him more often and for longer. I started freelancing – aka bartending to pay the bills. I moved to Houston and freelanced – for realsies, no bartending necessary. I began a blog. I started traveling even more. I adopted a dog. I rediscovered the fuel of my spirit. Alex and I fell apart and reconnected. It’s been a journey.
Throughout it all, I’ve been a regular visitor to Jacksonville, North Carolina. But this is my last trip. I’m not ditching Alex for a sparkly new best friend forever and always. He is leaving the Marines behind him. In a few days, he will be discharged after six years honorable years of service, three deployments, and a lot of sleepless nights to start his life a civilian somewhere in the world. I’ll have a new place to frequently and enthusiastically visit.
So this is a last minute farewell tour of a town I would have never gotten to know or grown to love if it weren’t for the Marines.
bisous und обьятий, RaeAnna
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I’m looking very confused as to what to do with this sweater, while trying not to over heat in the 6:00 am heat of Houston, Texas.
Spoiler, I can’t stand Nicholas Sparks’ writing. It’s boring, formulaic, and extremely unrealistic. Sorry, but I like my reading material to be somewhat grounded in reality. The one thing he gets right: the setting. Almost all of his books are set in the Carolinas, focusing in on North Carolina. Why? I don’t know, but probably because he lives there. Specifically New Bern, North Carolina, which is a forty-five minute drive from where I visit with high frequency because my bff is stationed in Jacksonville.
This list actually has nothing to do with Nicholas Sparks and everything to do with the beauty of North Carolina. I no longer loathe the writing of Nicholas Sparks solely because the state is gorgeous. So we see eye to eye on one thing. Maybe more, I don’t know the man.
Bald Head Island This is numero uno on the list because it will eventually be on my top 11 favorite places in the world list. Bald Head Island is about as far south as you can get in the great state of North Carolina. You can read more about it here.
Lighthouses I LOVE lighthouses. They are my favoritest things. Maybe not my absolute favorite, but I have an intense fascination with them. I have only seen two in real life, but I’m working on upping that number significantly.
MCAS New River This is actually kind of a crappy place, but I will always have rose colored glasses for it because my bff-for-always-and-ever lived there for five years. Happy memories for the win.
Wild Ponies I have not personally seen the wild ponies, but they exist in the Outer Banks. I love the idea of wild ponies, and hope to see them for myself at a respectful distance someday.
Sea Turtles Sea turtles lay their eggs on the beaches of North Carolina. I have not been able to see the hatching of these miraculous babies, but I have seen the nests(?), which is sand with a sign saying leave this space alone or something to that affect.
Beaches There are beaches all over the world, but I seem to frequent the North Carolina ones with the most frequency. They’re lovely.
Oak Island I just recently found this gem. It is an island right across from Bald Head Island. It has a lighthouse of its own. I can play in the ocean and see two lighthouses. It’s magic. Not really, but it made for a magical day.
Biltmore Estate I’ve never been to this grand place in Asheville, North Carolina, but I hear it is super duper fabulous. I hope to make it there one of these days.
Proximity North Carolina is five hours away from my best friend in DC and four hours away from my close friends in Virginia Beach. Gotta love the East Coast and their tiny states.
Blue Ridge Mountains I have not had the pleasure of exploring these mountains in earnest or at all, but I have driven through them a good many times. They are beautiful. The first several years I drove through them was solely in the dead of night…
Charlotte Douglas International Airport I really love the Charlotte airport. It has huge windows and Adirondack style rocking chairs. Also, they do a fabulous job decorating it for Christmas.
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More people came before and after. We had fun. Can you find me?The last batch!!!Me, Mom, and my Aunt!My cutie patootie cousin!
Family is one of those complicated things. I have not always been close with mine. Extended family were around when I was younger, but they were never a huge part of my life especially in my teen and adult years. No one person’s fault, life just works out that way. I was also in a weird age bracket. I was the oldest by a lot (my brother not included) of my first cousins. The extended cousins were either much, much older or much, much younger. Now, as I’m nearing 30, my cousins view me as an adult like them [yay, finally!!!], or I get to be the fun much older cousin.
The chef, my cousin, sharing the plunger of honor to cook the crawfish. It’s a thing. I promise.
In March, I went on a cruise for my Grandma’s 80th birthday. I hadn’t seen the aunts, uncles, or cousins in about fourteen years. I fell a little bit in love with them. While I was there, I was invited to my great aunt’s 80th birthday party in Maryland over Memorial Day weekend. The cousins I stayed with in Germany – eight years ago – throw an annual crawfish boil, which made the perfect birthday gathering.
Kelsey pulling her weight in the… kitchen.
I would just like to inform you, my family has this ‘All Are Welcome’ attitude. I found out I come by that trait genetically. There was a swirl of cousins, aunts, uncles, relatives by marriage, friends, and strangers. As an introvert, I am not comfortable in crowds but I also hate feeling like an outsider. I hadn’t seen a lot of my family in a very long time, but they never made me feel like I wasn’t included. I wanted my bestie to see my grandma and also because I wanted someone to be able to lean on and know in a crowd. My family made her feel right at home and kept our plates well stocked.
Precooked crawfish. Still alive and pinchin’.
This part of my family hails from New Orleans. I spent a huge amount of time there growing up, so it feels like home for me too. They moved all across the country; many are on the East coast. New Orleans is known for food. There’s nothing quite as Louisiana as a crawfish boil. Almost 200 pounds of crawfish were brought in fresh and consumed. I can’t really explain the scale of this party because it was immense. My great aunt is loved, so she brought in a crowd. My cousins are loved and make friends everywhere they go. Throughout the course of the afternoon, there had to have been close to 200 people at the party. Everyone had a blast and ate their fill of crawfish, shrimp, sausage, potatoes, corn, and mushrooms. I’m a fan of crawfish boils. Enjoying one surrounded by family made it even better.
Kelsey trying crawfish for the VERY first time.
The food was amazing. The fun was even better. It’s been a long time since I have been to a party quite like that. Even longer since I was surrounded by family. I had a blast. I can’t wait to make it next year.
Kelsey and I.Me sucking the head. Also a thing.Mama getting her crawfish on.
