Tag: RaeAnna Rekemeyer

Books, Fiction

Toxicity in Sally Thorne’s The Hating Game

RaeAnna
I like the picture better than the book. | The Hating Game by Sally Thorne | Dress | Shirt |

Worth A Read Hard Pass
Length 386
Quick Review A tale as old as time. Who knew the hate being felt from/for someone was just a big misunderstanding and just love in disguise… 

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne is not a romantic love story but a cautionary tale. It was stupid, archaic, toxic, and quite frankly set women back seventy years. Part of me wants to be shocked that “love” stories like this are still getting published, but I’m too realistic for that. I don’t know why women read this stuff and what it is they find attractive about a tall asshole. These are not the kind of relationships we should be glorifying. There’s far more interesting and sexy things to read than this troped up, crap novel.  

Lucy and Joshua sit next to each other after a merger between two publishing houses. They hate each other and are up for the same promotion. They’re complete opposites. She’s super short, bubbly, and sweet. He’s cold, calculated, and rude. Gasp! Circumstances bring them together, and oh my God, they’re attracted to each other. 

By page 50, I was utterly exhausted from reading how short Lucy was in comparison to how tall and masculine Joshua was. It was boring and cliché at the best of times.

The entire premise of The Hating Game rides on the back of the kindergarten playground advice given to young girls: “He’s mean to you because he likes you.” I’m pretty sure we’ve realized how that sets girls up for complicated relationships with attraction at best and abusive and violent relationships at worst.  

I kept seeing how great this book was… I don’t get it. It’s kind of funny, but the problematic plot and characters are impossible for me to get passed. The fact the plot is beyond formulaic and predictable almost doesn’t even register due to the toxic relationship between Lucy and Joshua. Honestly, if your friend were to come and tell you all of these things Lucy went through in real time, you would never encourage her to have a relationship with that man. I doubt Joshua’s friends would encourage him to be with Lucy because she wasn’t so great to him either. Love does not and should never wash away the toxic, problematic, or rude interactions leading up to feelings. 

Had The Hating Game ended with a good, long visit to a therapist instead of unrealistic sex (I know it’s a novel, no one wants realistic sex in novels) with boring and problematic co-worker, I would have liked it more. If you ever find yourself in Lucy’s position, go to a therapist instead of on a date. You deserve better. Lucy deserves better. Joshua deserves better. These two should never date. 

Memorable Quotes
“I’m not about to be ravished. No one boils water before-hand [sex], except maybe in the Middle Ages.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: The Hating Game
Author: Sally Thorne
Publisher: William Morrow (HarperCollins)
Copyright: 2016
ISBN: 9780062439598

11..., Lifestyle

11… Disappointing Things I Have Shoved In My Mouth

RaeAnna
Bad Banana Bread is up there in disappointment factor. | Sweater | Sports Bra | Yoga Shorts | Glasses |

I’m sure Freud has something to say about that title. 

When we’re children, we stick everything in our mouths because that’s one way we learn. It’s also evolution’s way of weeding out the real dummies. Kidding. As adults, we are more fastidious about what we shove into our mouths. But there’s really only one way to know if you’ll like it or not: open up and let your tongue decide. 

  1. Bland Indian Food This deserves to be number one for a reason!!! (The rest are not in numerical order, but this one is.) Bland should never be an adjective for Indian food. They just don’t go together. But I have had bland Indian food, and it was the most disappointing thing I’ve ever experienced. It hurt my soul and sent me to Yelp, which never happens. Zero stars. Go somewhere else. 
  2. Bad Banana Bread Is there anything worse? Absolutely, but this is disappointing. Dry banana bread is the most disappointing, but I made bad banana bread a couple weeks ago. (Pictured) It was totally done on the outside yet pudding-like on the inside. Why? Because I ran out of regular flour and used whole wheat flour to finish it off. Nope. Doesn’t work. Don’t do it. DISAPPOINTING.
  3.  “World’s Best [anything]” It’s not. They just put it on the sign to make you stop and steal your money with their disappointing world’s not best whatever. 
  4. This One Dude in College I’ll keep it at: disappointment. Wherever your mind wandered, subtract all of the inches and it’s still more than what it was. 
  5. Anything Chocolate Chip When You’re Expecting Blueberry I’m weird. I don’t like chocolate chip muffins or cookies or really anything. It’s such a disappointment when it turns out to be chocolate instead of blueberry, which I don’t love, but give me a free muffin, I will take it.
  6. Post Five Second Rule In my house, if it hits the floor, it’s the dogs’. There is too much puppy glitter – aka dog hair – for me to put anything in my mouth once it hits the ground. I found this out the hard way. Water only does so much.
  7. Dog Treats That Look Like Human Cookies I love giving my dog pretty treats. They deserve nice things too. But when I grab a cookie out of a jar, I want it to be a human cookie. Label that shit!
  8. Tea Bags I mean tea bags with tea in them not the other thing that dudes do [Although, that’s pretty disappointing to have in your mouth too. Balls!]. Once you’ve gotten used to that high roller life of loose leaf tea, tea bags are just not so good. 
  9. Cilantro Everything There’s a genetic component in this one, which doesn’t apply to me. Cilantro doesn’t taste like soap to me; I just don’t love it. I don’t hate it, but it is a continual let down because it’s never as good as people say it is. 
  10. Folgers My high school AP U.S. History teacher (Mr. Mooney was the best) referred to this as the F word. He’d rather hear “fuck” than “Folgers” in his classroom; neither were encouraged. It’s not the best part of waking up. Don’t lie to me like that Folgers. 
  11. Real Milk When You Ordered Almond Milk This is disappointing because it tastes so good and you realize it tastes so good because the barista did it wrong and gave you the thing you can’t have instead of the less good thing you can have, and it’s the worst because you think, “Man, they have some bomb almond milk” only to realize “Nope, almond milk still tastes like almond milk, and this is good because fat.”

bisous und объятий,
RaeAnna 

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Blog + Dog, In My Own Words, Lifestyle

Isolation Creation

RaeAnna
I love being surrounded by my new rescue babies.

One of my favorite people to follow on instagram is Jamick Beck. She’s a brilliant photographer and a lovely human to watch live her life through my phone screen. She lives in the South of France. During quarantine she worked on an Isolation Creation project, where she created a beautiful photograph every day and documented it on social media with the hashtag #isolationcreation. It was so inspiring, and I loved following along. 

Social media has been flooded with all these amazing people creating amazing things with their newfound freetime. They are really living out #isolationcreation. I love it. My quarantine feels like the opposite: A vacuum where creativity and productivity have ceased to exist. I have been in quarantine (to the best of my ability) since the middle of March. 

Now is not the time to be trapped inside my house with me, myself, and my multiple internal narratives of doom for company. My anxiety is having anxiety over how much anxiety I have over being anxious about everything. On top of it, my depression has been a raging ball of sadness and defeat. It’s an excellent combination for sustaining minimal productivity and an endless drowning sensation. 

My sweet Duke wasn’t supposed to stay, but here he is furever.

On the surface, my everyday life has not drastically changed. I work from home and don’t have tons of reasons to leave the house. I used to travel a few times a month, and I was always bopping out to have lunch with friends or grab a coffee with someone or something in the world. None of that has happened, which is good for health reasons. 

My quarantine has not included any of the things I would have liked it to include. Considering I can’t travel or leave the house and work has substantially slowed down, I should have time to do so many things. But not true. I have not written my book or even a short story. I’ve not even tended to my blog, which is my job. I don’t read the way I should be. Nothing that needs to be done is getting done. Nothing I want done is getting done. I’m existing in this space of doing the bare minimum. Here’s what the bare minimum has consisted of for me over the last few months:

  • Finding a dog, helping her have thirteen puppies, bottle feeding them, making sure they go to the vet every few weeks, emergency vet trips, finding them REALLY good furever homes, keeping them safe, and sending them to their furever homes. (I’m exhausted just thinking about it all again.)
  • Finding and buying a house. (The literal worst.)
  • Moving cross-country with all the dogs because the house situation took longer because of COVID and we were trying to… 
  • Not be homeless.
  • Working on the few projects that came my way. (So slow… who needs a writer?)
  • Sleeping whenever I could, which was hardly never.
  • Moving back across the country with the dogs to…
  • Finally move into the house.
  • Unpacking the house… Unpacking the necessary things; still working on the unnecessary bits. 
  • Battling my anxiety and depression. 
  • Fixing the house because it was NOT in the shape it was supposed to be in.  
Makeda front and center where she likes to be. They loved laying in the laundry basket. Don’t ask me why.

Productivity and efficiency are my main modes of existing. I hate doing nothing. I hate inefficiency. I hate wasting time. In my mind, nothing has been productive or efficient during quarantine. It’s wrong. I know I have been productive and as efficient as one can be with puppies considering the circumstances of COVID-19, fifteen dogs, moving, and not living in my own house for two and a half months. There’s this anxiety/depression monster that lives in my stomach (head but I feel it in my stomach) telling me I’m the fucking worst and I could do more and be better and why is nothing done the way it could be??? The last four months have not been my ideal version of productivity. When I see time where I’m just sitting, that’s time I could have been working, unpacking, or doing something with my life to achieve my dreams in any and all the ways. I could have done more during quarantine, but I also couldn’t have. I’m dealing with life, puppies, work being slow, COVID, anxiety, depression, and that’s my version of #isolationcreation. 

This was my cue they were done playing and wanted to go in for a nap.

Instead of creating art or finding my love of needle point (I’m actually already not bad at that) or getting in shape or learning how to speak Urdu, I’ve been creating fourteen healthy lives. My #isolationcreation is the puppies and their mama. I took her and the thirteen puppies in during a really difficult time. I made sure she had everything she needed before, during, and after the birth. We almost lost her, but we didn’t. I’m working on getting her healthy – she has already come such a long way. We were told to only expect eight puppies to live, but all thirteen are alive, happy, and healthy. There were several puppies who needed extra attention because they were small, weak, and/or sick. They made it through and are living their best lives. Nine found their perfect homes. Four are stuck with me, two of which have special needs (I call them my miracle boys), but I know they’ll be taken care of. They are almost potty trained. They know how to sit and stay. They’re well behaved and wonderful to be around. They’re the image of health, and they’re growing like crazy. They bring me joy and keep me busy. Life is never dull.

I’m hard on myself, but I always have been. Struggling is my main form of existing right now [always], but I’ve created good where there was sadness during quarantine. I didn’t create beautiful artwork for the world to enjoy like Jamie Beck, but I created something intangibly beautiful for the puppies and their furever families. I did what I could, and I hope it was enough.  

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

I did my very best for them, and I loved watching them grow and change.
#isolationcreation
Books, NonFiction

Dear Girls by Ali Wong

RaeAnna

Worth A Read Yes
Length 224
Quick Review Ali Wong writes a series of hilarious and wise-ish letters to her daughters so they can avoid her mistakes, have fun, and live their best life. 

Dear Girls by Ali Wong | Skirt | Sweater | Earrings
Dear Girls by Ali Wong

I instantly fell in love with Ali Wong when she walked onto the screen of my TV with her pregnant belly, dirty mouth, and satire in Baby Cobra. I have definitely paid for an afternoon of her childcare having watched it so many times to make sure other people experience her brilliance. I will consume anything Ali Wong – take that as you will –so obviously I read Dear Girls. I might be biased, but it was great. 

Wong’s voice sings with her unique humor, perspective, story, and more in her first book. The mother of two opens up to the world through letters to her daughters about life, love, sex, marriage, motherhood, traveling, grief, finding oneself, and general human things. It’s a dichotomy of emotions ranging from deep emotional exploration to stupid shit she did as a kid. Wong opens up her life in Dear Girls in a familiar yet fresh way compared to her stand up while remaining true to her voice.  

Comedians are mostly of the male-persuasion. They’re not funnier than women. I’ll let Ali Wong tell you: “Females are just as funny, if not funnier, and definitely quirkier, than men, especially in everyday life.” Yet we’re bombarded with the male perspective and what it means to be a father…. As a lady who will never be a father, the stories I hear from professional male comics on stage are NEVER as funny as the stories told by a random mom literally anywhere. Motherhood is something else. It’s beautiful. It’s also disgusting. Wong never shies away from the gross, and boy does she dive right into the poo-poo of mommydom. It’s disturbing and does not convince me that I want children. That is the beauty of Ali Wong. She loves her daughters, but she’s not going to blow smoke up your pussy and tell you it’s great or easy or magical. It’s hard work. 

Family is another topic she writes about frequently. From her father’s death to her relationship with her siblings and everything in between. She’s the youngest of four kids, but even as the oldest of two kids, I could still relate to, “They had a set of who I was and it affected me. It was limiting. Everything I said generally had no credence because I was at least ten years younger than every single person in my family, so what did I really know?”

Some of my favorite moments are those she speaks about her husband. Their love story is not a fairy tale romance of sparkles and unicorn farts. It’s beautiful in the depth of their love and respect for each other. He wrote the sweetest afterword that is a testament to the foundation of their marriage. I hope if Wong’s daughters take one thing from Dear Girls, it is to find relationships grounded in respect, support, loyalty, and love because it seems to me Wong has surrounded herself with wonderful people. That says a lot about who she is as a person and what she gives to those around her. 

Memorable Quotes
“”You have suffered enough.” That became my mantra for motherhood from there on out.”
“Babies are often born with fingernails so disturbingly long it made me wonder why nobody told me there had been a raccoon living inside my uterus.”
“The answers to making it, to me, are a lot more universal than anyone’s race or gender, and center on having a tolerance for delayed gratification, a passion for the craft, and a willingness to fail.” “And yes, there have been and are still many times these days when I have to check people for defining me via my race and gender.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: Dear Girls; Intimate Tales, Untold Secrets & Advice for Living Your Best Life
Author: Ali Wong
Publisher: Random House
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9780525508830

Books, NonFiction

Amazing Iowa Women by Katy

RaeAnna
In front of the Iowa Capitol Building with Amazing Women by Katy Salwell, Ph.D. in Des Moines.

Worth A Read Yes
Length 69
Quick Review A beautifully illustrated book about the remarkable women who have called Iowa home. 

I am very proud to be from Iowa. We have produced some really amazing people. Names you’ve heard, but most you will never know. Iowans are good people, for the most part, there’s always a shit stick. Amazing Iowa Women is a collection of mostly unknown names, but each woman has made a contribution to their community and the world.

Katy Swalwell, Ph.D. has created a wonderfully inspiring collection of fabulous females. It is definitely with children in mind, but it’s enjoyable for all ages. Salwell keeps the grammar and syntax simple. Though the message is far from simple: Women can do anything even in the face of great obstacles. 

Not only is Salwell calling attention to incredible women, she’s tearing down the Iowan stereotype. Iowa is more than cornfields and housewives. It’s a diverse tapestry telling the story of women’s roles in state and international history. With each biography, Iowa becomes more and more tangible. The women come from all different backgrounds, educations, ethnicities, and more. They reflect the world we live in, the fights that have been fought, and the wars still being waged. These women show Iowa to be the diverse and inclusive place I grew up knowing and not the stereotypical hick pig farm it’s far too often depicted as. 

Each woman’s name is accompanied by their greatest achievements and an outline of Iowa with a star marking their birthplace or home. The biographies share a short story about who the woman was and what she accomplished in her life. Some names are more well known than others, but women are rarely alone in their field or fight. Salwell includes a list of notable Iowa women working on similar things at the bottom of each biography. 

Each of the Amazing Iowa Women is accompanied by a portrait. They come in different styles, colors, and aesthetic appeal, but they are all beautiful. Each portrait was created by a female Iowa artist. 

From Donna Reed to Russell Stover’s Chocolate, Iowa women have been a part of history for as long as the state has existed. Some have gone into the world to do incredible good, and others have stayed close to home creating change in their own communities. Salwell tells the tales of Amazing Iowa Women while supporting local women artists. This is a beautiful book full of history and hope. I loved it, and I would give it to any of my nieces and nephews. 

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

Raygun’s Website

Title: Amazing Iowa Women
Author: Katy Swalwell, Ph.D.
Publisher: Raygun
Copyright: 2018

Blog + Dog

New Mom, New House

RaeAnna
Binge watching Netflix and Hulu with the kiddos. | Pajamas | Slippers

The puppies are only four months old. We’ve been in the house for a month and a half. Even Tess has only been with us for four and a half months. It’s all still pretty new.  

Everyday is a new day with new challenges because the puppies are growing like crazy. Four months old, and they’re all almost or over thirty pounds. They’re about as big as their mama; she doesn’t tower over them anymore. They’re huge puppies and not super well trained because they’re puppies and there are four of them. So we’re constantly puppy proofing and trying to teach them how to behave. While also keeping them from teething on everything and peeing inside. Their big toofers are coming in, and they look like they have people dentures stuck in their mouth. (Although, I’m not sure there’s any other kind of dentures, so I probably didn’t have to specy “people dentures” on that one.) It’s funny, but they don’t stay still long enough to get a picture of this phenomenon. 

We definitely have our work cut out for us. But there is a routine, and they’re doing so well. They know how to sit and – kind of – stay. They sit, stay, and wait for their food… almost. They go into their kennels on command. They’ve learned not to bite/nibble/chew on people and furniture. Shoes are another story. We have only had one accident inside in the last three weeks. They know not to play on the couch; that’s for sitting and sleeping and cuddling. They are super smart, which is good and bad. They learn quickly, but they’re smart enough to figure things out that I’d rather them not. Sometimes I call them my terrorist infestation, but all of the time I love them with my whole heart. There’s nothing better than coming home and seeing all six fur-kids in the window. 

Tess is an angel. She has truly come into herself over the last four months. She is less neurotic than Beau. I have no idea how I got so lucky with such a smart, good girl. Training has been such a breeze with her. We haven’t done too much, but she knows sit and come, which are the most important anyways. She also knows when she’s getting a treat; that one she learned very quickly. She doesn’t like giving kisses, but she loves snuggles, playtime, and just being with me. I can pick her up and carry her around like the puppies. She is wonderful.

Tess is heartworm positive. Now that she has weaned the puppies, gained some weight, gotten comfortable, and as healthy as possible, we have started the de-heartworming process. She’s a month and a half in. Next month, she will have her first shot, and hopefully it goes well. She just had all her vaccinations, and she’s getting spayed and microchipped next month. She’s on her way to being healthy. I cannot wait for her to be able to run and play unhindered. I didn’t know if she would be a runner or player when she first came home. Being as heavily pregnant and sick as she was, she was happy to just sleep. Not anymore, she is rambunctious. It’s going to be great seeing her live her best, healthy life in a few months. 

Beau has finally accepted the puppies are here to stay. She loves Tess, but the puppies took some getting used to. They are absolutely infatuated with her, but that’s probably because Beau is completely ambivalent towards them. Beau has made it known that I’m her mom first and their mom second. I think she’ll love them someday when they’re less tiny and stupid.

I am the kind of person that likes to have everything unpacked and organized right away. That did not happen. I’m new mom, new house tired. 

We moved in with most of the puppies, who were the main priority. Now that we have it whittled down to the ones we’re keeping, life is working into a new rhythm. I finally have time to unpack and start painting… Except I’m still exhausted. I have been sleeping more and doing as little as possible because raising the puppies was exhausting and draining. I have needed to take some time to recuperate. The puppies are the main priority. Sleeping has been the second. Work has been the third. House has come very last. So only the essentials are unpacked. I’m starting to get back to my old self, so hopefully things will start shaping up around the house. 

For now, I’m gonna go back to binge watching Peaky Blinders or stand-up comedy with my children. 

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna, Beau, Tess, Knight, Duke, Makeda, + Bear

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