These pictures really don’t match what I’m about to talk about, but they’re adorable. Her sweater has a hood, ears, AND a little pouf tail. How can you not love her in this??? Yes. We match. I’m insane.
Two weeks ago, we started the moving process into our new and bigger apartment. Beau loves having all the extra room to run around. We have two spare rooms. One will be my office, and the other is her bedroom – guests will use it when they visit. After moving in, we realized there was some water damage from the previous tenants. The apartment management has dealt with it really well, and it is being taken care of. All the work that needs to be done does take time. Contractors are coming in and out. Everything is in boxes because we can’t really put anything away with all the work still being done.
Beau has been an absolute trooper. She has to be in her box or shut up in a room with me while the contractors work because they’re scared of her. I don’t think she’s completely for sure we’re staying here because the boxes haven’t been unpacked yet. Her anxiety has been a bit high the last week with the uncertainty. We’ve had a few instances of stress peeing. She didn’t even realize she did it. I was a little worried it was a UTI, but she’s just fine. Stressed. Poor baby had to wear a doggy diaper for a little bit. She looked so sad and pathetic.
We’ve gone two days without any stress peeing. No diaper. The contractors should be done by the end of the week. Which means I can finally unpack and organize and maybe get a desk for my office, and Beau can get comfy cozy!!!
To the rest of the world, today is New Year’s Eve. Up until eight years ago, it was just New Year’s for me too.
My most influential person came into my life eight years and a few hours ago. His name is Alex. He’s made appearances here and there on my blog. He’s been a big part of my travels this year. He helped make 2018 brilliant.
I can’t really describe Alex to you in any way other than he is an amazing person. People love him or hate him. There is no in between. I don’t know why people hate him except he is an intense kind of man in all the best ways. So there is probably something wrong with the haters.
There are people who come into our lives and change everything. Alex is that person to me. I am who I am because of him. He has become such a part of my story it is impossible to tell it without him. He is written on my soul.
We are always laughing together. Seriously. It’s obnoxious… To other people, I imagine.
On New Year’s Eve of 2010, Alex came into my life, and he never left. We were in college together. He was a senior; I was a freshman. We had almost no reason to meet. Due to fate and a heart condition, he’s stuck with me. We were in choir together. When our director rearranged the seating arrangement, he ended up sitting in front of me. Very few people know this about him anymore: he has a beautiful singing voice. Long story short. Out of sheer optimism or naiveté or stupidity, I invited this dude, who I’d never had an in-person conversation with, to my house for New Year’s. He hugged my dad before we’d ever touched. It was ballsy. It worked out.
In the last eight years, Alex and I have been through more than I could ever write about. We walked to hell and back holding hands a few times over. It wasn’t easy. Actually, it’s been the hardest eight years of my life. Because of him, they have been the best eight years of my life. He is just shy of sainthood. Flawed as he is, he has always put me first. I have severe PTSD. I’ve been through sexual assaults and domestic violence. I have been in abusive relationships. I have been insecure. I have been broken. I have been bruised literally and in a non-physical sense of things. I have seen some pretty horrific things. Through my darkest days, Alex has always been there. He has never left. He has never made me feel less than. He has made me laugh through my tears. He has held my hand when there were no words to be said. When I have been unable or unwilling to pick up the pieces of my soul, he has put them back together. He helped make me whole, when I had never known what that felt like.
Alex went into the Marines over five years ago. We spent three years living together before he enlisted. In five years, we have spent one Christmas and one birthday together. He deployed twice. Two weeks ago, he left on his third deployment. He’s on a boat somewhere in the world. I don’t know where. Late on Christmas Day, I was lucky enough to get a phone call from him. We exchange emails whenever he has internet. I don’t know when he’ll be home. It will be eight months or more. It’s hard. I miss him. I miss hearing his voice. I miss getting to visit him. This isn’t new. We’ve gone over a year without seeing or talking to each other by phone in the past. It’s part of life in the military and loving someone in the military. Many other women, men, and families go through the same thing. Worry is part of our lives.
Just doing normal people stuff in a field in 12 degree weather. Like normal people.
Alex and I have been a part of each other’s lives for eight years. They have been beautiful and stressful and all the feelings in between. Life has been hard on us. A lot of things were out of our control, some that weren’t, and some that seemed like they were. I wish many things had gone differently in our combined lives and our lives before each other. Then again, I don’t. I wouldn’t change him or I or what we have for anything in the world.
I can’t tell you who I am without talking about Alex. He has been an integral part of my life. Some people don’t just influence who we are, they form who we are. He has pushed me to be better. He has questioned my opinions and thoughts. He has held me when I’ve cried. He always challenges me to be the best version of myself. I don’t think I’m as good for him as he is for me, but I’m not going to tell him that any time soon.
It’s been eight years. I hope to have about a gazillion more, but I’ll settle for another seventy. I think I can make it to 97. Any day after that will be a blessing I think.
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“Can we just take a normal picture???” I ask. He responds “No.”
Touring the grounds and gardens of Vizcaya Museum.
I have been so busy working and catching up on my reading that I’ve been crappy on writing blog posts. So this is the first of several to come. Read an overview of the completely unplanned trip I had: here.
When I left for vacation, Florida was not on the radar. Let alone Miami. I’d only been to Miami once five years ago, and Alex had never been. It was a really fun part of our trip. The last time I went was to visit a friend from college, who had grown up in Little Havana. I hadn’t thought about what to do because he showed me around his hometown. This trip, I had to figure out what to do because Alex had no idea either.
Feeling hot and sweaty!
I, of course, reached out to my best friend. “Ok Google, what should I do in Miami?” Alex loves gardens and botany; I love pretty places. One of the top results was Vizcaya Museum and Gardens. It looked super pretty. Let me tell you, it is super pretty. Alex got in for free because he’s a Marine. Yay for military discounts! For us regular people, it costs $18. It’s worth it; I promise. The house was built in the early 1900’s on Biscayne Bay by James Deering. It’s ridiculous. Holy shit. The house is magnificent looking out onto the ocean. There’s a cement boat down stairs off the back terrace. It’s supposed to protect the house from swells, but I think it’s a rich person opulence thing. The gardens surrounding the house are incredible. Spectacular. The house is a big square surrounded a beautiful indoor garden. I can only imagine what it looked like when it was brand new. We wandered around for hours. I’m ready to move in if they ever decide to get out of the museum business.
Enjoying ice cream at Azucar.
After Vizcaya, we met our college friend at a local bar: Porterhouse Bar & Grill. I’m not a drinker, but they have ridiculously cheap drinks for Happy Hour 5:00-9:00 every day. Their coffee is good! We arrived at 6:00, and by 7:30, the bar was poppin’. The bar-staff is kind but very busy.
We ended up having a really low key weekend. On Sunday, we went to Shuckers Waterfront Bar to watch football with friends. The food is good bar food completely overshadowed by the awesome view. They have great virgin drinks, and my friends say their regular drinks are good too. The bar is literally on the waterfront. The seating area is open to the outdoors, and there is a terrace completely outside. Tons of docks are right along the bar, so boats are pulling up constantly. People coming and going in swimsuits. It’s kind of the perfect place to feel like you’re in Miami.
Standing on one of the docks at Shuckers Waterfront.
On Monday, the day we left, we spent the day doing super touristy stuff. If you’re in Miami, you need to go to Little Havana, also known as Calle Ocho. It’s just one of those things you should do. There are lots of places to park on the street. It’s for sure a tourist trap, but it’s a bright, fun tourist trap filled with locals. You need to try Cuban Coffee. I really liked it at La Colada Gourmet. It will put hair on your chest. The owners were really wonderful. They took the time to explain the significance of Cuban Coffee to Alex and I. You will only need one cup. Just walking around is fun. Azucar Ice Cream Company is a must. Their flavors have deep roots in Cuban culture. Super yummy and rich. I suggest sticking to one scoop. Worth a stop for sure. It took me awhile to find the Welcome to Little Havana Mural. The address is: 801 SW 27th Ave, Miami, FL 33135. It is in an alley next to a Chase Bank on the corner of 8th Street and Beacom. It’s the perfect Instagram spot!
Celebrating our trip to Miami.
We decided to head to Miami Beach and Lincoln Road. Lincoln Road is the Rodeo Drive/Michigan Avenue/Fifth Avenue of Miami. The buildings are bright white. Lots of people are bustling around shopping. I stopped into Starbucks to pick up a Miami mug because I’m basic. Alex and I meandered our way to the beach. It was a Monday in the middle of September, so the beach was very empty. The boardwalk was quiet. Walking along the boardwalk and beach you’ll see the pastel and art deco architecture Miami is famous for. The beach is pretty with blue-green water. We waded in, but I was too lazy to actually go for a swim. We didn’t stay long. It’s fun to just walk around, especially when the area is so quiet.
Ropa Vieja, Black Beans, and Cafe con Leche at Versailles Restaurant.
Before leaving Miami, we went back to Little Havana to eat some Cuban food. We went to Versailles Restaurant. It is one of the most famous Cuban restaurants in Miami. They’re open late, and I hear it’s the place to go for late night food. The place is giant. There are mirrors all around the main dining room, which is the Versailles influence, I think. The wait staff is friendly and efficient. We ordered, and the food was brought to us incredibly quickly. I love fried plantains. They have great ones. I’m a fan. I ordered Ropa Vieja because it’s my favorite, a side of black beans, and a cafe con leche. I ordered way more food than I needed, but it was worth it. Yumminess.
Miami is such a fun city. Five days is nowhere near enough to explore, but it was a blast!
Drinking Cuban Coffee at La Colada Gourmet.
Vizcaya Museum & Garden Instagram: @vizcaya_museum 3251 S Miami Avenue Miami, FL 33129
Porterhouse Bar & Grill 17004 Collins Avenue Sunny Isles Beach, FL 33160
Shuckers Waterfront Bar Instagram: @shuckersmiami 1819 79th Street Causeway North Bay Village, FL 33141
La Colada Gourmet Instagram: @lacoladagourmet 1518 SW 8th Street Miami, FL 33135
Azucar Ice Cream Company Instagram: @azucaricecream 1503 SW 8th Street Miami, FL 33135
Welcome to Little Havana Mural 801 SW 27th Avenue Miami, FL 33135
Versailles Restaurant and Bakery Instagram: @versaillesmiami 3555 SW 8th Street Miami, FL 33135
For this week’s Tuesday Truth, I want to talk about the one thing that is really starting to get on my last nerve about being a blogger.
I started Bookish Liaisons as a hobby and a passion project. A place I could take all my thoughts and opinions about the books I read. It still is. It has definitely grown larger than my wildest dreams. It accidentally turned into a small job and business. This place of mine transformed from a book blog into a bookish lifestyle blog because I’m a nerd with a life!
I never, not once, started this to get free stuff. Actually, the first time someone sent me a free book, I was thrilled and mostly shocked. “I should have started doing this a long time ago,” went through my mind because free books! A bookworm’s dream. I do not search out free books, and I do not search out free stuff. Sometimes, I get things in exchange for an honest review. Always honest. I’m never going to sell out for loot. Or try and sell my followers on things I don’t genuinely believe in.
Complete honesty: I’m pretty proud of the following I have on Instagram. I love all my followers because they are joining in on this great journey of mine. I’m no Selena Gomez, but I’m doing just fine!
Due to the number of followers I have, I get a lot of offers from companies and people wanting to send me their products. I turn down most because I am very picky about what I associate with. I am only ever going to talk about, post, and promote things I believe in and would spend my own money on. The books I have received from publishers are fabulous, but I only say “yes” to the books I’m actually interested in reading. I have turned down a ton of books, even if they are free. No matter what, I still review with honesty. (The books I have hated the most have been books sent to me for free. Oh man, I roasted a couple.) I’m not going to put my integrity on the line for a free book. No way. If I upset a publisher, editor, or author because of that, so be it.
What is starting to get on my last nerve as a blogger: companies soliciting. I’m a blogger. I’m a blogger on a limited budget. I freelance for a living. I like to spend my money on three things: travel, my dog, and food. I’m a bargain shopper when it comes to books because I’m a bargain shopper with e.v.e.r.y.thing. I ABSOLUTELY HATE WHEN COMPANIES, AUTHORS, ANYONE REACHES OUT ASKING ME TO BUY THEIR PRODUCT AND REVIEW IT. I get. We all have to hustle. It’s the way of the world. If you really want me to review your book, candle, bookmark, product, whatever, thensend me an email, ask if I’d be interested, and then send it to me for free. I will never ever ever ask anyone to send me something for free. If I want it I will buy it. I am not going to spend the little money I have on something I do not want, need, or am looking for.
I have been contacted so many times because people want me to buy, review, and promote their product. Being a blogger, creating content, writing posts, and promoting takes A LOT of time. If you can’t pay for my time to market your product as the influencer I am, then at least offer to send it to me for free. I always politely say “thanks, but no thanks.” Sometimes, they even ask if I could shout them out or repost their pictures on my feed directing my followers their way. NO. Unless I can product test, I am not going to promote it. Integrity people. So many of the people who have approached me this way had products I would have totally accepted. Not now. Ya gotta spend some to make some.
I’m nothing special; I have a respectable following. I am an influencer and a blogger. I absolutely love doing this. I hate that people don’t take the work, my time, or my followers seriously. I’m not in this for free stuff. I am also not in this to spend all of my money.
I think two of the most important things women can invest in are books and friendship. These two things have a lot in common. They’re both time consuming. They cost. Books cost money; friends can cost money (going out, gas, etc.). They are absolutely priceless!!!
Books
Well, I obviously think these are one of the most important things anyone can invest in. Not like I’m a book blogger or anything…
Books for a really, really, really long time were inaccessible. They were expensive to make. Then the Gutenberg Press happened. Woohoo! Technology helped make the production of books simpler, faster, cheaper, which allowed more books into the world creating more authors and more readers. Before the Gutenberg Press, you had to be super rich or clergy to have books. The other big reason books were inaccessible for so long: literacy. The only way you learned to read was if you were – again – super rich or clergy. Rates of literacy began to rise after books became more accessible………..
I forgot to mention one teensy little thing. Previous paragraph is pretty much just about men. Women reading, yeah that, it’s a new thing. Women didn’t read. They weren’t taught. Education was a thing for men. Educated women? They existed… Very few and far between. That history is loooong.
Anyways, books are important. It’s still a fairly new phenomenon. There are still many places in this world where reading is rare, but I’m lucky to live in a place and a time where reading is easy and inexpensive!
Women should read because knowledge is power. Enough said.
Friends Friends are super important. Books are not my only friends. I wouldn’t say I have tons and tons of friends. I have several really close friends. I am beyond blessed to have each and every one of them.
Funny enough, books have lead me to several of my friendships.
My best friend and I met in the library at college. We both worked there. I was a senior; she was a freshman. It was her first day of college, and it was my last first day of college. I trained her. One thing lead to another, and she has never gotten rid of me since.
My blogger bestie, Maria, and I solidified our friendship over books and reading and the general accumulation and discussion of knowledge. We lived on the same dorm floor our freshman year in college – a handful of years ago, now. We met and hit it off pretty much immediately. I would love to say books were the catalyst, but it was a combination of books and fashion. We LOVE both. Fast forward a handful of years. We had fallen out of touch because life. We kept tabs, but hadn’t talked or seen each other in YEARS. Living on opposite sides of the country, we each entered the blogosphere within months of each other, literally two. She is a fashion/lifestyle blogger: Millennial Fashionista. I am a literary/lifestyle blogger. We support one another. We chat often. We share blogging woes and highs. Books brought us together many years ago, and books helped rekindle our friendship. Click here to see us in action on her page!
Friendship is such an important aspect in our lives as people and women. It’s important to have a support system. Friends provide a place to be our weird selves.
Happy Feminist Friday! I’ll write on this topic every so often because it’s important, and I read a lot of books with strong female characters and feminist undercurrents.
My feminism is intersectional and inclusive and all about equality. No one is better than anyone else. We all deserve the same rights and opportunities. I don’t care if you’re female, male, trans, gay, straight, bi, liberal, conservative, religious, non-religious, have similar beliefs, think I’m full of crap or everything in between. You all matter. You all deserve respect. You are all part of my rainbow, and you’re all beautiful. I have said it before. I will say it again. I will repeat it until I die. And I hope it’s something people remember about me.
This feminist is a hard core feminist. I believe we should all live our lives however we want to live our lives. I will never push my beliefs on you, and I hope you give me the same. I will never judge a woman or man on how they lead their lives.
This feminist LOVES heels. I love dresses. I love… well I like makeup. I love clothes. I love looking nice. I love having long hair. I love having shaved legs. I love bows and pearls and lace. I love cooking. I love baking. I hate cleaning. I love taking care of those close to me. I love to sew and knit. Actually, I’ll probably take care of anyone crossing my path who needs it. I love kids. I love men. I love ballet. I love music. I love art.
I live a life that screams conservative to those who don’t know me well because I am attracted to very stereotypical female activities. I’m very liberal, but I feel comfortable in the choices I make. They make me happy. The thing is: I have the choice to enjoy the things I enjoy. I wasn’t forced into them. I’m not pressured into them. When I don’t want to cook, I order in. When I don’t want to bake, I don’t bake. When I don’t want to wear heels or makeup or a dress or whatever, I wear sweats and flip flops.
I have the privilege and ability and education to live my life the way I want to live it. Sure, I experience pressures to be a certain way, but I have the confidence to live my life my way. My way wears heels.
