Category: NonFiction

Here’s a bunch of reviews for all the nonfiction I read.

Books, NonFiction

Laura Lippman’s Feminist Revolution in My Life as a Villainess

RaeAnna

Worth A Read Yes
Length 384
Quick Review Laura Lippman has made a career creating villains and taking them down in her novels. At sixty years old, she has found herself a villainess. The real, living breathing kind.

My Life as a Villainess by Laura Lippman is a fantastic memoir. | Skirt | Top |

Laura Lippman is a badass and proves it on every page of her memoir, My Life as a Villainess. 

At sixty, Lippman loves herself; that—in and of itself—is a feminist revolution and reason enough to be deemed a ‘villainess.’ She knows it and doesn’t shy away from the ugly truth of being a woman daring to age instead of keeling over dead at 29, “Every day, everywhere I go, the culture is keen to remind me how repulsive I am.” The level of transparency she takes on is incredible. Tackling womanhood head on and all that it encompasses, age, money, body image, career, marriage, motherhood; nothing is off limits, and she does through humor and razor sharp observations, “People talk about the White House distracting us, nothing has distracted me as much as this stupid battle with my weight and my looks, both of which are fine.” Honestly, though, if women (as a whole unit) focused more on the White House/Congress/Policy/Anything and less on contorting our bodies into unrealistic and often hostile conflicting expectations, we would get so much shit done. Lippman knows this and gets even more pointed about it the further on you read, “What would happen to the global economy if all the women on the planet suddenly decided: I don’t care if you think I’m fuckable.”

Motherhood is often looked at as a necessary milestone to leveling up to real womanhood. *cough* *cough* Crap. Sorry was that unladylike? I don’t care. No matter how a woman chooses to live her life, as a mother or not, she will never do it right or well enough in the court of public opinion. Lippman became a mother at 51 and that journey came with its fair share of trials and tribulations. She doesn’t shy away from the role money played in becoming a mom later than most. Her transparency about the fact her family’s hard work led to the financial ability of being able to create a family on their own terms is admirable. She doesn’t apologize for having money or using it to become a mom, nor should she. Women are often pressured to apologize for anything and everything especially when it pertains to taking control over their own bodies, desires, and motherhood. 

Lippman is going through life on her own terms and experiencing it through the lens of a funny writer with a legacy of talented writers, her father being a journalist. Menopause and social opinion of menopause does not escape her scrutiny, “Menopause doesn’t make women want to die. It makes other people wish we would die, or at least disappear.” With a journalist’s background, she did her research. Humans and pilot whales experience menopause. Why? There is no answer or reason that science has come up with yet (which is another topic entirely: the lack of female research and representation in scientific data and interest, but I’m off topic now), but Lippman has her own theory, and you’ll have to read her book to find out what it is. You’ll enjoy it, unless you have no sense of humor.

It’s not all fun and games. Lippman takes on topics of being a bad friend, her competitive streak, and sexual harassment. These are all things humans and women struggle and live with daily. One of the most poignant and moving moments is when Lippman writes, “It was never about what I was wearing. It wasn’t even about me. That was the hardest lesson to learn.” It’s advice I have given in my own words to many women and girls. We are women. We are strong. But we exist in a world that does not respect our right to exist. The world tears us down and makes us small. The act of being ourselves, taking up space, and living our lives is an act of rebellion. It is the essence of being a villainess. 

I strive to be a villainess in my own life… and hopefully the world. | Skirt | Top | Sunglasses |

My Life as a Villainess is a documentation of Lippman’s journey to being a self-assured and confident woman with a whole lot of life behind and ahead of her. All the while telling her story, she dares the reader to ask themselves: What do I want? What do I really want? Whether it’s food, a career, children, travel, money, whatever. Ask. What do I want? What does my body really want. What does my mind want. All the time. Never cease asking or growing into the villainess every woman should strive to be: an authentic version of our truest selves.

I strongly recommend every woman who isn’t going to die before their teenage years come to an end read this book. Women and girls need to see strong, unapologetic, successful, interesting women, who have created their own paths in life, and Lippman is just that. She’s not perfect. In fact, she’s a mess, which makes her more relatable and worthy of being a role model. My Life as a Villainess is a phenomenal memoir about existing as a woman in the world.

Memorable Quotes
“If grudge-holding count for cardio, I’d have run the equivalent of many Boston marathons by now.”
“That’s the final step in accepting one’s gorgeousness. You then have to concede everyone is gorgeous.”
“Social media can take a friendship only so far.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: My Life as a Villainess
Author: Laura Lippman
Publisher: William Morrow (HarperCollins)
Copyright: 2020
ISBN: 9780062997333

Books, NonFiction

Childhood Trauma in Alan Cummings’ Not My Father’s Son

RaeAnna

Read Yes
Length 294
Quick Review A beautifully honest dive into heartbreaking memories that helped create an incredible talent in actor Alan Cummings. 

Reading Not My Father’s Son with my boy, Knight.

Alan Cummings is a celebrated actor with exceptional range. Acting wasn’t just a calling, it was a means to an end, the way to survive being at home with his father. He revisits the childhood trauma that led to an acting career with painful sincerity in his memoir Not My Father’s Son. 

Growing up in rural Scotland, Alan Cummings was different. He was not the son his father wanted. He was not like his older brother, but his brother did not inspire warmth or fatherly love either. He recalls the moments and memories that made him full of abuse, joy, fear, and affairs. With each heartstopping recollection, a vivid picture of the resilient man Cummings became solidifies in the reader’s mind. Adulthood meant escaping the house that held so many terrifying years and life to be proud of, but even in the face of freedom, Cummings’ past is a part of his present. 

I have a love for memoires. Memory is fascinating, and what stays in one person’s mind as a defining moment in their lives tells a great deal about who they are and how they see themselves. Not every writer can delve into their emotional past with the same raw integrity Cummings does. He has an intense ability to capture his childhood fears and memories and desires for better within the page. There is bravery in the way he writes and tells the world, ‘This is who I am and who I came from, but I am more than this.’ As a grown woman dealing with the psychological violence of childhood, I could wholly identify with Cummings as I read, “It is a startling thing, the need to feel utterly believed.” Violence does not happen in a vacuum, but it is often recovered from in one. Having just one person who believes in the truth of your story is a powerful thing and the greatest gift you can give a survivor.  

Trauma and violence is a fickle thing. Cummings is able to bring words to the effects of living in a home where violence is as much a family member as his mother, brother, and father, “I actually think the prolonged period of tension before landing his blows, as we were systematically inspected, chided, and humiliated, had a far worse effect than the actual hits.” The relationship between parent and child is so emotionally complex. Even in the face of violence and being the target of hatred, Cummings doesn’t shy away from the complexity of this relationship with his father and the need to be a good son in Not My Father’s Son, “My father continued to have affairs throughout my childhood, and they were not subtle or discreet.” “I understood that I had to collude, to protect my father, even though he didn’t deserve it.”

Not My Father’s Son is not just the story of Cummings’ relationship with his father, though it is devoted heavily to it. His mother was an integral part of the family and who he would become. For as much belittling as he experienced at the hands and words of his father, he also experienced true love and compassion from his mother, “She [mother] told me I was special and loved. And actually, having two such opposing messages, although confusing, was ultimately pretty healthy. My father told me I was worthless, my mother that I was precious. They couldn’t both be right, but they evened each other out and I began to make my own mind up, not just about myself but about everything that was going on around me.” 

Cummings is sensational at creating an emotionally grounded and tangled picture of growing up. For every person who has experienced violence or trauma, it is a revelation. I did not live his life in any way, but I could find my own story within his truths. Not My Father’s Son is the story of one man overcoming and living with a childhood that could have ruined him. Through the pain and the violence, Cummings shows grace. One of the most touching and human moments can be found in the acknowledgments when he thanks his father, “Thank you, Alex Cumming, for siring me and ensuring I will have lots of source material. I forgive you.” It is a beautiful memoir. 

Memorable Quotes
“It has not been pleasant as an adult to realize that dealing with my father’s violence was the beginning of my studies of acting.”
“Memory is so subjective. We all remember in a visceral, emotional way, and so even if we agree on the facts—what was said, what happened where and when—what we take away and store from a moment, what we feel about it, can vary radically.”
“For yes, being a woman, even one with a penis and for the purposes of drama, really made me feel that women have been coerced into a way of presenting themselves that is basically a form of bondage. Their shoes, their skirts, even their nails seem designed to stop them from being able to escape whilst at the same time drawing attention to their sexual and secondary sexual characteristics. And I think that has happened so that men feel they can ogle them and protect them in equal measure.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: Not My Father’s Son
Author: Alan Cumming
Publisher: Dey St. (William Morrow – HarperCollins)
Copyright: 2014
ISBN: 9780062225061

Books, NonFiction

I’d Like All Advice to Be As Friendly As Amy Poehler’s in Yes Please

RaeAnna

Read Yes
Length 329
Quick Review Amy Poehler is known for a lot of things but mostly for being funny. She does not disappoint in her memoir. 

Yes Please by Amy Poehler in Ames, Iowa. | Dress | Sweater | Glasses

I grew up watching Amy Poehler. She was the right kind of funny, smart, raunchy, and sweet for me. Her incredibly supportive, brilliant, fruitful, and genius relationship with Tina Fey was and is an inspiration for what female friendships can and should look like. I bought Yes Please years ago, and I’ve finally gotten around to reading it. It’s real in the way you want memoirs to be; it’s funny in the way you hope a comic’s memoir is; and it’s raw in a way a strong woman who knows her own mind is.

Writing a book is hard. Poehler makes it absolutely clear from the moment you crack the spine that writing a book is hard, she even takes a short break to let Seth Meyers write a chapter so she doesn’t have to. It’s an incredibly poignant moment and a testament to the woman and friend she is. There’s a good chance that she’ll never pen another book again because it’s obvious the process is not her favorite. Poehler also brought on Mike Schurr, the co-creator of Parks & Rec, to annotate her chapter on Parks & Rec, which is heartwarming and funny. She has surrounded herself with brilliant and funny people. 

Yes Please is a memoir-advice combo. She’s wise and gives pretty great advice. If I hadn’t learned most of it the hard way, I would have found it even more helpful. It’s a bright, colorful, and bold book filled with large fonts and pictures. It definitely appeals to the kid in me. 

In an era of social media and more information is not enough, Amy Poehler is in the public eye and knows what it’s like not to have much privacy. There’s an overarching theme, which is quite explicitly stated, “Nothing is anyone’s business.” Her life motto should be adopted by more, or all, people, “Good for you, not for me.”

I love a quotable book, and this is an incredibly quotable one. Although Poehler is entrancing in interviews, on stage, and on the screen; she has an incredible way with the written word in the way of a brilliant comic. From the funny moments to the more serious moments, she has something to say. She knows when to be funny and when to hold the humor, “A person’s tragedy does not make up their entire life.” She can be serious and bring levity. It is never more evident than in her comparisons. Treat your career like a bad boyfriend, “Ambivalence is key.” Careers can come and go. They’re important, but they shouldn’t define life. Whereas creativity should be nurtured like a good boyfriend because that is important. 

Poehler can sum up the entirety of Yes Please in her own words better than I can, “It is not about being a good girl; it is about being a real woman.” It’s not a clean book. There’s mess to it, and I love that about it. It’s a great book to make you laugh during these dark times. 

Memorable Quotes
“Writing a book is nothing like that. It is a small, slow crawl to the finish line.”
“…I would stare out whatever window I was near and reminisce about experiences I hadn’t had. Is there a word for when you are young and pretending to have lived and loved a thousand lives? Is there a German word for that? Seems like there should be. Let’s say it is Schaufenfrieglasploit.”
“There is nothing more depressing than a tired dominatrix.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: Yes Please
Author: Amy Poehler
Publisher: Dey Street Books 
Copyright: 2014
ISBN: 9780062379795

Books, NonFiction

Racial Consciousness in Minor Feelings by Cathy Park Hong

RaeAnna

Worth A Read Yes
Length 224
Quick Review The reality of existing as an Asian American encapsulated into a collection of essays by the remarkable Cathy Park Hong. 

Reading Minor Feelings by Cathy Park Hong in front of the Asian Gardens in Des Moines, Iowa. | Top | Skirt | Sandals | Watch | Glasses

Asians have been a part of the fabric of the United States for as long as the country has existed. They have played a vital part in the establishment, growth, expansion, history, progress, and culture of the US. Yet, they are overlooked and forgotten. When they are remembered they’re often touted as the good immigrants because of their excellent assimilation. Cathy Park Hong explores the nuance of being Asian and American; of being immigrant and citizen; of being and excluded in Minor Feelings: An Asian American Reckoning. 

Asia is an expansive and diverse area of the world, but America has one word for the people of the region: Asian. It is just one of many ways America sweeps over oppression and racism with an optimistic view that does not mirror the reality Asian Americans live with. Hong explores the truth of her own minor feelings as a child and into adulthood. 

Minor Feelings cuts to the core of racism and the inescapable psychological effects it has, “Racial self-hatred is seeing yourself the way the whites see you, which turns you into your own worst enemy. Your only defense is to be hard on yourself, which becomes compulsive, and therefore a comfort, to peck yourself to death.” Hong is acutely aware of existing as an Asian woman; her parents immigrated to the US from Korea. In her essays, she delves into her own feelings of shame and sadness while examining racial consciousness in America. Though the book is about the Asian experience in America, it speaks to the same feelings people of color experience on a daily basis. 

Hong has a powerful command of language and uses it as more than a vessel for thoughts but as an art. By writing about racial consciousness, she helps empower generations of people who live with the same minor feelings as herself. Through lenses of history, art, psychology, femininity, friendship, and more, she creates a whole picture of being Asian in America. Her words can and should change hearts and minds by painting a picture of present and past realities. 

Minor Feelings by Cathy Park Hong

I cannot begin to explain the impact of this small book. It is remarkable and moving. It hit close to home as I read it. One of my closest friends is Asian and does not fit what society believes Asian American women look like. I have watched her exist in a world that reacts mostly in confusion. She’s a pioneer just by being herself. As a white girl growing up in Iowa, I was acutely aware of the Asian stereotypes and racism because many of my friends were Asian, either immigrants themselves or first generation. They were all incredibly smart and driven and funny and fabulous in every way. Part of that was their nature and a large part of it was the pressures from society and their parents. They faced two options in society’s eyes: math and success or manicurist and an accent. There is often no in between. As children, these weren’t things we talked about outright or feelings we articulated, but they were a part of the fabric of our existence and friendship. We joked about ABC, the Asian parent grading scale, what being a “banana” meant, and a great many more things steeped in racial stereotypes. These were the beginnings of larger conversations I would have in college, in my future, and in my career. Reading Minor Feelings, I couldn’t help but think about each one of those friends and conversations.

The US is in the middle of an election, an election where immigration is in the spotlight. Though it is a front and center policy topic, there is an absence. Asians and Asian Americans are being neglected in conversation, which shouldn’t come as a surprise because they so often are. Hong addresses the dichotomy and oppression Asian Americans face in Minor Feelings, which is beautiful and heartbreaking. The collection of essays addresses the neglect, the oppression, the existence of Asian Americans. Hong is a brilliant writer, and I cannot recommend more. 

Memorable Quotes
“When I hear the phrase “Asians are next in line to be white,” I replace the word “white” with “disappear.” Asians are next in line to disappear.”
“Patiently educating a clueless white person about race is draining. It takes all your powers of persuasion. Because it’s more than a chat about race. It’s ontological. It’s like explaining to a person why you exist, or why you feel pain, or why your reality is distinct from their reality. Except it’s even trickier than that. Because the person has all of Western history, politics, literature, and mass culture on their side, proving that you don’t exist.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: Minor Feelings: An Asian American Reckoning
Author: Cathy Park Hong
Publisher: One World
Copyright: 2020
ISBN: 9781984820365

Books, NonFiction

Humanization of Donald Trump in Mary L. Trump’s Too Much and Never Enough

RaeAnna

Worth Reading Yes
Length 225
Quick Review Trump governs one of the most powerful countries in the world. His niece, a clinical psychologist, posits he doesn’t deserve any of the praise he’s garnered for himself. 

Too Much and Never Enough by Mary L. Trump in front of Air Force One.

Mary L. Trump is the oldest of Fred Trump Jr.’s children and Donald Trump’s only niece. With a doctorate in clinical psychology from the Derner Institute of Advanced Psychological Studies and a lifetime of anecdotal experience, Dr. Trump explores the complicated familial history that made the youngest Trump, an undiagnosed yet dangerous narcissist with complex pathologies, in her book Too Much and Never Enough; How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man. 

Before becoming president, Donald lived a life of luxury, but that luxury masked a childhood and life filled with too much and not enough. Donald is one of five and the second youngest child of Frederick and Mary Anne Trump. He, like his four siblings, had a difficult childhood. Their father was cold, domineering, and manipulative, and their mother lacked warmth and had little role in the two youngest Trump’s lives. He, like his siblings, suffered from emotional neglect, causing a lifetime of irreparable damage.

Too Much and Never Enough is more than Donald’s story. It is the story of Dr. Trump’s family, her father, herself. She humanizes Donald by giving context to his inexplicable behavior. His personality, though outlandish and atrocious, is explainable. There is a reason Donald is the way he is, “Child abuse is, in some sense, the experience of “too much” or “not enough.”” Dr. Trump contextualizes childhood development and attachment and how everything went wrong in his particular situation, “…Donald suffered deprivations that would scar him for life.” Donald didn’t experience this abuse in a vacuum, it went back generations and existed for all the children in varying ways and was passed down to the next generation and experienced by Dr. Trump herself. As he grew older, Donald lashed out more and more as there was “… an increasing hostility to others and a seeming indifference to his mother’s absence and father’s neglect. … With appropriate care and attention, they might have been overcome. Unfortunately for Donald and everybody else on this planet, those behaviors became hardened into personality traits…” Into adolescence and adulthood, these traits would affect everyone in his orbit and eventually the globe as he took on one of the most powerful political positions. 

Family dynamics affected Donald, but they affected everyone else in the family as well. Dr. Trump wants her family’s story to be told. Her father passed away a disinherited, family disappointment at 42 from alcoholism. Family dynamics affected Dr. Trump. Even though she was born into a family worth multi millions, she had plead for college tuition. Of all the people in the world, Dr. Trump has as many if not more reasons to eviscerate Donald, yet she makes it known from the beginning that she is not writing this for financial gain but to elucidate Donald’s pathologies for the world at large. Though I believe her motivations, the book still feels rushed. Spreading the word before the campaign or a combination of capitalizing on it, means redundancies and a little bit of the “not enough.” Given more time, the narrative could have been improved. 

Donald, like every person, is a culmination of everything he endured and survived. Dr. Trump humanizes him through reasoning. She provides excuses without releasing him from culpability because he is an adult responsible for his actions. She repeatedly bolsters her arguments through facts, statistics, anecdotes, and quotes. What could have strictly been a family tell-all is a well researched look into her family’s history. 

Air Force One in Cedar Rapids, Iowa from my airplane window.

Dr. Trump never refers to Donald as Uncle or president. He is always Donald. The entirety of Too Much and Never Enough, she keeps her family at a distance and only refers to them by their first name. When she does to their relation, it is solely to contextualize who they are to her and within the family. 

There is a sense of humor to Too Much and Never Enough. In the chapter titled “A Civil Servant in Public Housing” or the phrase: “Unfortunately for Donald and everybody else on this planet, those behaviors became hardened into personality traits…” Dr. Trump finds a way to lighten the mood, even if it’s just for a moment. 

Diagnosing Donald is impossible. Dr. Trump begins Too Much and Never Enough by saying she can’t diagnose him because it would require a battery of tests and cross-sectional diagnosis that he would never sit for. Through reading, you can get a sense of what she believes his diagnosis could be if he would ever admit he has a problem. 

As infuriating as Too Much and Never Enough is, it is a lovely book about the horrible Trump family. Their failures, shortcomings, and history. For Mary L. Trump PhD, it is a story of overcoming and succeeding. Donald Trump is one of the most dangerous and powerful men in the world, but at the end of the day, he is a man who has suffered greatly. 

Memorable Quotes
“The fact is, Donald’s pathologies are so complex and his behaviors so often inexplicable that coming up with an accurate and comprehensive diagnosis would require a full battery of psychological and neuropsychological tests that he’ll never sit for.”
“It’s difficult to understand what goes on in any family – perhaps hardest of all for the people in it. Regardless of how a parent treats a child, it’s almost impossible for that child to believe that parent means them any harm.”
“Nothing is ever enough. This is far beyond garden-variety narcissism; Donald is not simply weak, his ego is a fragile thing that must be bolstered every moment because he knows deep down that he is nothing of what he claims to be. He knows he has never been loved. So he must draw you in if he can by getting you to assent to even the most seemingly insignificant things. … Then he makes his vulnerabilities and insecurities your responsibility: you must assuage them, you must take care of him. Failing to do so leaves a vacuum that is unbearable for him to withstand for long.”
“Donald was to my grandfather what the border wall has been for Donald: a vanity project funded at the expense of more worthy pursuits.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: Too Much and Never Enough; How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man
Author: Mary L. Trump PhD
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Copyright: 2020
ISBN: 9781982141462

Books, NonFiction

Raygun Humble Brags in The Midwest: God’s Gift to Planet Earth

RaeAnna
Posing with The Midwest: God’s Gift to Planet Earth in front of Raygun in Des Moines’ East Village.

Worth A Read Yes
Length 256
Quick Review If you’re not from the Midwest, you probably know it exists somewhere but the where and the what it is is probably a little foggy. This book will walk you through the important yet forgotten region.

Raygun started out as a tshirt store in Des Moines. It quickly grew a cult following because the t-shirts are hilarious and just about the only ones in my closet. Over the years, they have expanded from t-shirts to art to book publishing. 

This will be a short book review because I can sum it up in: This is hilarious and educational! Two of my favorite things. 

An Iowan by birth, I want people to know my state exists. I would also like for it to not be confused with Ohio or Idaho. Iowa does not share a border with Pennsylvania nor is it known as the Potato State. It does have a border with Illinois and Minnesota and is known as the Hawkeye state. The Midwest is a great book for laughs and learning. Whether you want to know facts about the state, history, or people, Raygun delivers the information in a relatable and very Midwestern way. 

With lines like, “Adam and Eve are prime examples of how not to behave if you want to stay in the Midwest.” followed by “Those who remained and prospered in Eden are today’s Midwesterners.”

There are so many wonderful qualities The Midwest goes over in detail, but one of the most common is “After our good looks, this niceness is what we’re known most for.” As an Iowan, I can say I hear “Oh you’re from Iowa, that’s why you’re so nice.” It gets tiring being stereotyped, but if my home state has to be stereotyped, this is not a bad one. 

The Midwest is so attention starved, this book takes advantage of every single opportunity to point out a famous, important, or any person of note real or fictional that hails from the greatest region in the “galaxy.” Out of the forty-five presidents of the United States, Raygun wants you to know “The Midwest has produced fifteen U.S. presidents. Three were killed, four other survived serious assassination attempts, and two died early. Our current Midwestern president, Barack Obama, may be in a dire situation. After all, just being a Midwestern president gives him a 70% chance of being killed, being shot at, or dying early.” Positive: Obama made it! 

Raygun never misses a chance to make fun of literally anything, including the Midwest. We have a very self-deprecating sense of humor if nothing else. The Midwest is full of information, laughs, illustrations, cartoons, and more; all of which comprise one of the most overlooked yet completely awesome regions in the world. We’re humble, but we will self promote when the occasion arises… Mostly because we want to come and enjoy the under appreciated beauty 67 million people call home!

Memorable Quotes
“Hollywood can’t get enough of us! With character attributes that range from extremely good looking and intelligent to kind and brave, Midwesterners can fill just about any role.” Clark Kent is from Kansas!

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: The Midwest: God’s Gift to Planet Earth!; An Illustrated Guide to the History and Culture of the Galaxy’s Most Important Region
Author: Raygun
Publisher: Raygun
Copyright: 2012
ISBN: 9780578116198