Books, NonFiction

Confronting Death in It’s Your Funeral by Kathy Benjamin

Worth A Read Yes
Length 182
Quick Review Death comes to us all, but we can prepare for it. Kathy Benjamin helps people understand death, funerals, and how to prepare with a sense of humor and creativity while honoring traditions in this lovely little book. 

I figured a cemetery would be the most appropriate location for these pictures… Or a morgue, but they said no. Weird.

I am pro talking about death. I always have been. It might be the realist in me; it might be the fact I’ve seen the downsides of not talking about death; it might be my dark sense of humor; it might be that I love making people uncomfortable; it might be all the near death experiences I’ve had; it might be that I’m chronically ill. It’s probably all of those things combined. When I saw that Quirk was publishing this, I hopped on the chance to read it. I support transparency and talking about hard things. Death is one of those unavoidable things in life, and it makes people so squirmy. Kathy Benjamin takes on death and funerals in her funny yet profoundly informative It’s Your Funeral.

Going through the process of preparing for our very last hurrah in our honor, Benjamin talks about options, remains, funerals, wills, and more in three parts that encompassing knowing your options, planning the party, and ensuring your memory is what you want it to be as best as possible or Part I. It’s Your Body, Part II. It’s Your Funeral, and Part III. It’s Your Legacy. 

Death is scary, and Benjamin gets to the heart of one of the many reasons for fear: lack of control. Once we’re gone, we have no control of what happens to us, our life’s work, and how we’re remembered. By taking control of those things ourselves before we’re gone, we can have a semblance of control in the after, and Benjamin creates a comprehensive guide to tackling this feat. 

Filled with amazingly poignant and comical moments, Benjamin realistically talks about death. The ways to get rid of a body from the traditional to historical to cultural to unique with honesty and as little grossness as possible. Culture plays a big role in death and the traditions surrounding it, and It’s Your Funeral notes many traditions in other cultures and religions. Did you know that “In Bhutan, often rated the happiest nation in the world, it’s considered important to reflect on death five times a day.”

Funerals are the last hurrah. They can be fun, sad, celebratory, reminiscent, really anything at all, but “The theme for most funerals is basically just “grief.”” Lots of information is included on: what people traditionally are buried with and what they can bring with them; weird post-death doings by eccentric people; important things to think about; how to get creative; ideas; and more. A list of famous and interesting cemeteries are included in case you want some ideas or travel destinations. Serious to humorous quotes from real memorials, monuments, and epitaphs are listed for those who want ideas.

Honestly, a really funny book. If you couldn’t tell by the cover design. 10/10

Wills are important. Having witnessed this in my extended family, I can attest to the truth of “What does happen all the time is that people die without a will and all hell breaks loose.” It’s Your Funeral spells out exactly why and how to create a will. One of the most important things you can and should do for those you’ll leave behind. Please, if for no one else do it for me, create a will and a living will. I have both.

I love a good worksheet, and I’m assuming Benjamin does too, as there are many throughout this delightfully morbid book. To help process thoughts, emotions, wishes for your after life journey. These worksheets will help get your creative juices flowing, while you still can. They’re not all strictly serious, as in the “Haunting Game Plan” for those hoping to dawdlishly pass on.

I really enjoyed this one. Benjamin does an excellent job of balancing the information with humor; gravity with levity; tradition with creativity; American with global. For those wanting to broach the topic of planning what happens after for themselves or a loved one, It’s Your Funeral by Kathy Benjamin  is a really instructive place to start.

Memorable Quotes
“It’s almost more terrifying than dying: the thought that, one day, your whole life will likely be forgotten. Take a moment to gaze existentially out the window…”
“Sure, you’ll be dead, so it’s not your problem, but if you want to ensure things go smoothly after you die, write the freaking will.”

bisous un обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: It’s Your Funeral! Plan the Celebration of a Lifetime—Before It’s too Late
Author: Kathy Benjamin
Publisher: Quirk Books
Copyright: 2021
ISBN: 9781683692584

11..., Lifestyle

11… Hopes for the New Year

Enjoying Christmas things in Baytown, Texas. | Dress | Shirt | Boots |

I’ve never been one for resolutions. In reality, I’m not even one for goal setting or manifesting. It’s not that I’m unmotivated; I’m actually incredibly motivated and hardworking. I’ve just found that it doesn’t work for me. Resolutions, goals, manifestations are not for me. 

Happiness and kindness are the two driving forces in my life. Every day I wake up and live my life to the best of my abilities by making choices that make me happy and do as much good as I can in the world. At the end of the day, if I have accomplished those, I have lived a good day and that will culminate into a good life. I hope. 

2020 was quite the year. Filled with ups and downs on a global and personal scale. I did what I could to find happiness and create kindness, but I, like the entirety of Earth’s population, am hoping for better things in 2021. 

I missed the usual Christmas traditions in 2020, but I won’t let it get me down for 2021. | Dress | Flannel | Boots | Earrings |
  1. I hope the pandemic is reigned in. For selfish reasons, I want life to get on with it. For global reasons, I want life to get on with it. Everything has been on hold for far too long. 
  2. I hope to see friends and family again. It’s been over a year since I have seen some of my closest friends and family members. Some live far away and others live just on the other side of town. Due to COVID, I have gone without seeing many people for their safety and mine. It sucks, but it is for the best. 
  3. I hope to travel. Knock on wood, 2020 was supposed to be my year of international travel. Shocker: It wasn’t. I went to none of the places I was supposed to. It makes me sad, but at the end of the day, it was for the best. Most of the trips were postponed, a few were permanently canceled. Time will tell when I get to see Europe again. 
  4. I hope for health. The health of the world and myself. As an imuno-compromised person, this year has been tough. I’ll speak more on how I’m ringing in 2021later, but it’s not the way I was hoping for my family.
  5. I hope to be more consistent. 2020 was anything but my finest year of consistency. I managed to let so many things fall through the cracks that I have never ever let fall through the cracks before. I’m ashamed… Kind of. In all honesty, I’m disappointed in myself, but at the end of the day, I just couldn’t make those things happen. In 2021, I want to get back to being the consistent human I was before and even more consistent than before.  
  6. I hope to get back to working. As a freelance writer, COVID seriously affected my income. I’m not complaining because, at least, I’m still working. It has been a very, very slow year for me. As a creative, I was impacted significantly. Luckily, I have a partner who has been able to work consistently throughout the pandemic, so we have not struggled the way other families have. I miss working, though. Here’s to a better year!
  7. I hope to not wear a mask. I will absolutely continue to wear a mask until it is completely safe to not wear one. I am looking forward to not having to need it, though. 
  8. I hope the vaccine can be administered to one and all. 
  9. I hope my puppies continue to grow healthy and strong. They will celebrate their first birthday in March. I can’t believe how soon that is and how quickly this year has gone by. I was so very blessed to have them and be able to provide for their health and happiness. COVID gave me the time to care for them, and for that, I will forever be grateful for 2020. 
  10. I hope to grow my blog. 2020 was incredibly inconsistent for the blog. It grew and shrunk and stagnated. I’m not complaining. I love this part of my life, but I’m hoping to really dive into it in the way I had been wanting to in 2020 but was unable to. I have a lot of books to catch up on reviews. So I hope to have those all published by May. Fingers crossed. 
  11. I hope to continue chasing happiness and kindness. I want 2021 to be filled with happiness for myself and others. I want to spread kindness wherever I go, making the world a better place as much as I possibly can. 
  12. Bonus Hope I hope to get a bunch of projects done in my house. I very much love it as it is, but there are so many things I want to get done, like painting and decorating. I’ll absolutely document my progress as I go because it’s so fun!!!

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Books, Fiction

Christmas in London by Anita Hughes

Worth A Read Meh
Length 288
Quick Review Two women spend Christmas in London to make a cooking show, and their lives find new purposes. 

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Christmas in London by Anita Hughes at Levy Park in Houston. | Green Dress | Red Heels | Sapphire Necklace | Sapphire Earrings | Fossil Watch | Pearl Bracelets |

Christmas in London by Anita Hughes has a lot of things you want in a Christmas story, but it falls short in just as many ways. 

Louisa is a small time pastry chef working in New York City. Kate is a producer for a local cooking show. They spend Christmas in London to be a part of a holiday cooking show. Louisa grows close to an assistant from New York, and Kate revisits people from her past. 

I’m fairly ambivalent about this book. It’s not bad. It’s definitely not great, but it’s what people want and expect during the holidays. Loads of ridiculous romantic stuff and drama for no reason. Hughes writes in the third person and switches between Louisa and Kates’s point of views throughout Christmas in London. It’s mostly told in the present, except for when Kate has flashbacks to the past for a muddy subplot. Honestly, the writing is really boring and cliché. There is an abundance of similes. Hughes is overly descriptive to the point of monotony. It became so repetitive when as the narrative said in one way or another “a man showed up and she realized it was Trevor/Noah.” Yuck. It doesn’t build suspense. It’s just boring and a waste of ink. 

I could get past the writing if the characters were more believable or even likable. Louisa and her love interest felt like they were in high school more than adults starting out in a romantic relationship. Kate is more mature but not by a lot. I have a hard time identifying with adults in relationships who are completely lacking in mature communication skills. At the same time, their conflict resolution comes far too easily after they’ve bungled the whole situation from poor communication skills. They’re also not very likable. The parallels drawn between Louisa and Kate are not subtle; they’re basically living the same story arc.The male characters are the worst. Honestly, I don’t know why either woman put up with it? No man is better than any man. 

Anita Hughes’ Christmas in London is a decent mindless read to keep you busy instead of spending time with the in-laws or family. It’s not great, but it could be a lot worse.

Memorable Quotes
““But there isn’t time to be passionate about more than one thing. If you want something in life, you have to sacrifice everything else to get it.””
“She had never been able to separate love and attraction.”
“That was the problem with sex; it made it impossible to think.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: Christmas in London
Author: Anita Hughes
Publisher: St. Martin’s Griffin
Copyright: 2017
ISBN: 9781250145796

Books, Fiction

The Nutcracker of Nuremberg by Alexandre Dumas

 

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The Nutcracker of Nuremberg | Fossil Watch (a favorite)

Worth A Read Yes
Length 142
Quick Review The Nutcracker of Nuremberg is not the ballet you’re probably familiar with, but it is just as entrancing.  

Alexandre Dumas wrote The Nutcracker of Nuremberg; well, he retold it. E.T.A. Hoffman wrote the original Nutcracker, which is very dark and not necessarily the story you want to tell your children at bedtime. Alexandre Dumas reworked the story into something lighter and happier. It evolved and inspired a ballet that has inspired the imaginations of children and adults alike for generations.

Alexandre Dumas is famous for The Count of Monte Cristo and more. He is an exceptional writer. Even writing for younger audiences, he doesn’t abandon his style or pizazz.

The Nutcracker of Nuremberg has many of the elements we’re familiar with from the ballet, but there are many more storylines not included. It is darker than I expected, but that is in accordance with the times. Children’s stories were not completely happy way back when. If you don’t believe me, just read Grimm’s fairy tales.

The story begins when a father falls asleep. He wakes up to discover his children and their friends have tied him down. They refuse to let him up until he convinces them to with the promise of a story. He begins with a nod to E.T.A. Hoffman before diving into his own telling. The story consists of three parts I. The Story of the Nutcracker of Nuremberg II. The Story of the Nut Krakatuk and the Princess Pirlipate III. The story of Marie and the King of Toys. It’s a fun story to read at this time of year because of its impact on the season.

Some of the more interesting things about The Nutcracker of Nuremberg are the names. They all have meanings, which escape most of us who don’t speak German. Drosselmeier is a much stranger character in the story than the ballet. I love the language he uses. It’s beautifully written. There are so many literary and historical allusions. It makes it a little bit of an adventure trying to find and figure out all of them.

At only 142 pages, it’s a small time commitment to read a story that helped inspire an internationally iconic ballet.

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Title: The Nutcracker of Nuremberg
Author: Alexandre Dumas
Publisher: Sterling Publishing Co.
Copyright: 2018
ISBN: 9781435154520

Books, Reading Lists, Travel Guides

Packing List

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A River of Stars | The Silence of the Girls | Brief Answers to the Big Questions  | Torch Song Trilogy | Age of Innocence | Him Her Him Again the End of Him | Miss D & Me | Well-Read Black Girl | Pajamas | Throw Blanket || Luggage

I packed a suitcase full of books for my trip this month. Alex, my frequent partner in crime, is deploying next month. Before he leaves, I flew to North Carolina on Saturday. We spent the night on base; then, we road tripped to his parents’ homes in Minnesota. A mere 19 hours in the car. We’re actually pretty used to it. We’ll be spending a week and a half together before I go home to Houston. We’ll see how many books I read in that time span. I am travelling prepared, though!

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Miss D & Me: Life with the Invincible Bette Davis
by Kathryn Seremak with Danelle Morton
I’m looking forward to this one because I am a huge Bette Davis fan, and I love her classic movies! Such a talent.

Well-Read Black Girl: Finding Our Stories, Discovering Ourselves
from Glory Edim
I follow @wellreadblackgirl on Instagram. Glory is beyond inspirational. When I learned of this book, I knew I NEEDED to read it! So it’s on the top of my list right now.

Brief Answers to the Big Questions
by Stephen Hawking
I feel like this speaks for itself. I’m always looking for books to challenge me. Stephen Hawking will for sure do that. I know very little about his realm of study.

Torch Song Trilogy: Plays
by Harvey Fierstein
I haven’t read a play in a long, long time, so I’m excited to dive in.

The Silence of the Girls
by Pat Barker
I haven’t read much historical fiction this year. I’m a tough critic, but I’ve heard a lot of good things about this one in particular.

Age of Innocence
by Edith Wharton
This is one of my favorite books. It’s been years since I have read it, and I want to revisit.

Him Her Him Again the End of Him
by Patricia Marx
I’m going to be completely honest… I bought this solely because the spine has houndstooth on it, and I have been obsessed with that pattern for ever.

A River of Stars
by Vanessa Hua
I don’t know much about this book, but I do love the cover a lot! It’s so bright!

Pajamas
from Target
I love pajamas, but I honestly don’t wear them that often. I mostly bum around in oversized t-shirts, which is totally fine when I’m at home or with Alex. But I’ll be spending time around his parents. I love these pajamas; they are literally the softest thing ever!

Brown Hat
from Amazon
I think everyone needs a good brown, felt hat for the fall season… especially up North!


Yellow Faux Mohair Plaid Throw
from Target
I bought this throw blanket on a whim. I’m so glad I did. It was so necessary on the plane!!! It fit perfectly in my bag, but it is also incredibly soft and warm. You need it! Ok, I “needed” it.

Samsonite 20” Centric Spinner
I bought new luggage for my trip because it had been a decade. I did a bunch of research, and I really like this set of luggage. This carry on is perfect and lightweight. It really only carried my books on this trip, though!

I’m off to bed! It’s been a long few days of travel, travel, travel! I need some sleep before I get to work again bright and early tomorrow morning, so I can have some fun in the afternoon!

Bisous!
RaeAnna

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Miss D & Me || Well-Read Black Girl || A River of Stars ||
Brief Answers to the Big Questions || Torch Song Trilogy || The Silence of the Girls ||
Age of Innocence || Him Her Him Again the End of Him

Books

Risk! by Kevin Allison

Read Yes
Length 380
Quick Review Kevin Allison compiles incredibly touching stories in Risk! People from different backgrounds some of their most trying experiences. 

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Risk by Kevin Allison

Kevin Allison is the creator of the podcast and live show Risk! Over the years, he has heard people famous and not tell their stories they never thought they would tell. He has compiled some of the most memorable stories into a book, which comes out on July 17, 2018.

Everyone has a story to tell. Allison tells his own story alongside a multitude of others, but the pages are filled with real experiences people never thought they would tell. The stories range from the hilarious, bizarre, unbelievable, to completely heartbreaking. At the heart of each story is the essence of being human and finding meaning in even the most difficult situations.

Risk! is divided into sections based on the content of the story. Stories range from two pages to ten or so pages long. They all usually have a humorous aspect to them, but most have a serious theme. After each story, is a brief Question & Answer with the storyteller about how it affected their life or healing process; some are a question or two and others longer. Part of me really enjoyed reading this part, but the other part of me really prefers for the story to stand on its own.

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All in all, Risk! Is a really beautiful book full of insight into moments in people’s lives from a large variety of backgrounds and ethnicities tackling subjects from child sexual abuse to life in a drug cartel to prostitution to kinky sex. Laugh out loud moments kept me going through the tear jerkers. I really enjoyed this, and it’s a great book to take on vacations, commute, or in your busy stop-and-start life.

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Memorable Quotes
“This kid grew up poor with no hope and no support, and that is a very different kind of poverty – an emotional poverty.”
“I married my child when he was still a man.”
“…the thing about money is that it buys you comfort, but comfort is numbness.”

Title Risk! True Stories People Never Thought They’d Dare to Share
Editor Kevin Allison
Publisher Hachette Book Group
Copyright 2018
ISBN 9780316478281