Books, Fiction

A Flawed Diamond: The Learning Curve by Mandy Berman

Being a woman in the world can be exhausting, but it’s nice to see the reality and complexity of our existence reflected in literature like The Learning Curve by Mandy Berman. | Jumpsuit | Sandals | Earrings |

Worth a Read Eh
Length 400
Quick Review An exploration of womanhood, friendship, sexuality, loss, and greater meanings of loyalty and sisterhood. 

In theory, I like The Learning Curve by Mandy Berman. In reality, I found it relatable but boring. The plot and characters failed to capture my attention even though it incorporates many of the elements I want and search for in a strong female driven narrative. A flawed diamond, beautiful but not worth it upon further inspection.

Told from the perspective of three women, The Learning Curve follows the lives’ and internal struggles’ of Fiona, a grieving senior at Buchanan College, Liv, the girl-next door and senior at Buchanan College, and Simone, a mother, academic, and long-distant wife of a lecherous teacher at Buchanan College. These women lead drastically different lives, yet they intertwine and impact one another in expected and unexpected ways.

Two aspects of the novel stand out to me. Characters and the rape. 

Often, authors choose for their characters to act in petty, childish, or irresponsible ways, which is rarely reflected in my own interactions with people. That being said, I have been witnessing a higher frequency of childish and catty behavior in my personal relationships, so maybe authors are doing a better job of portraying reality than I had previously imagined. Berman creates characters with sophisticated emotional interiors and allows those characters to interact with each other in mature and communicative ways. They don’t lack for differences in opinions, views, and communication styles, but the plot is not driven by immature women playing into the misogynistic stereotypes we’re so often given. 

Rape is one of those topics people skirt. Authors employ it in a variety of ways. More often than I’d like, rape is portrayed poorly and even offensively. Sometimes, authors get it right. The Learning Curve does excellent work creating a rape situation that is often overlooked in literature and is rarely talked about in life. Fiona struggles with grief—after losing her younger sister—by drinking and escaping reality with various sexual partners. One night, she drinks and goes home with a guy. What starts consensually turns into rape. Berman calls consent into question. Is it given once? Can it be taken away? Is it ongoing? What should be a part of sexual education and in the quotidian conversation about sex and consent is rarely in the conversation at all. Berman illustrates rape in a way that many authors would not choose because it’s gray, it’s tricky, and it’s emotionally charged. How many girls have found themselves in Fiona’s position? How many don’t call it what it is: rape? How many chalk it up to a bad night and pretend it never happened, while they deal with the trauma for years to come?

The Learning Curve by Mandy Berman

One of the most poignant moments in this inherently feminist novel is when Berman calls out English for it’s sexist nature. English is not a gender neutral language. Throughout the history and evolution of English, the “neutral” has always been “he” or of the male gendered pronouns and nouns. A lot of this has to do with the fact women have not been able to hold property, inherit, vote, have jobs or careers, be leaders, and don’t forget women have been considered property to be held by men. It’s more than a linguistic oops; it is a reflection and amalgamation of our society, culture, and history. Men are the de facto and women are hidden. Berman broaches a discussion of this sexist and exclusionary facet of English and how it is used without realization by men and women every day. 

The book is riddled with grammatical errors of varying sizes. I can’t tell if the grammatical errors are narrative and character motivated… But I found it distracting. I would like to know where the copy editor was, what they were drinking, or a transcript of the conversations they endured.   

The Learning Curve really is an exceptionally well thought out book. I just can’t bring myself to love it emotionally, even though I do on a technical level. Though exceptionally thought out, I found it largely lackluster and forgettable the moment I put it down. Even in the middle of reading, I had to remind myself what was happening. I really wish I could say I loved it, but it fell flat for me. I definitely suggest it on so many levels because Berman calls attention to truly important topics and themes in women’s lives. 

Memorable Quotes
“Fiona wondered what it might be like for your ideas to be so valuable that other people would pay to read them, or would show up on a Thursday night, when they could be drinking or having sex or sleeping instead, to hear them.”
“These days she wondered how people raised more than one child. Just one was a second full-time job.”
“She was learning that attraction didn’t discriminate—that often, in fact, it bloomed in the most perverse of circumstances.”
““Complicated”: an adult code word for I don’t want to talk about it.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: The Learning Curve
Author: Mandy Berman
Publisher: Random House
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 978039958948

Books, NonFiction

Dear Girls by Ali Wong

Worth A Read Yes
Length 224
Quick Review Ali Wong writes a series of hilarious and wise-ish letters to her daughters so they can avoid her mistakes, have fun, and live their best life. 

Dear Girls by Ali Wong | Skirt | Sweater | Earrings
Dear Girls by Ali Wong

I instantly fell in love with Ali Wong when she walked onto the screen of my TV with her pregnant belly, dirty mouth, and satire in Baby Cobra. I have definitely paid for an afternoon of her childcare having watched it so many times to make sure other people experience her brilliance. I will consume anything Ali Wong – take that as you will –so obviously I read Dear Girls. I might be biased, but it was great. 

Wong’s voice sings with her unique humor, perspective, story, and more in her first book. The mother of two opens up to the world through letters to her daughters about life, love, sex, marriage, motherhood, traveling, grief, finding oneself, and general human things. It’s a dichotomy of emotions ranging from deep emotional exploration to stupid shit she did as a kid. Wong opens up her life in Dear Girls in a familiar yet fresh way compared to her stand up while remaining true to her voice.  

Comedians are mostly of the male-persuasion. They’re not funnier than women. I’ll let Ali Wong tell you: “Females are just as funny, if not funnier, and definitely quirkier, than men, especially in everyday life.” Yet we’re bombarded with the male perspective and what it means to be a father…. As a lady who will never be a father, the stories I hear from professional male comics on stage are NEVER as funny as the stories told by a random mom literally anywhere. Motherhood is something else. It’s beautiful. It’s also disgusting. Wong never shies away from the gross, and boy does she dive right into the poo-poo of mommydom. It’s disturbing and does not convince me that I want children. That is the beauty of Ali Wong. She loves her daughters, but she’s not going to blow smoke up your pussy and tell you it’s great or easy or magical. It’s hard work. 

Family is another topic she writes about frequently. From her father’s death to her relationship with her siblings and everything in between. She’s the youngest of four kids, but even as the oldest of two kids, I could still relate to, “They had a set of who I was and it affected me. It was limiting. Everything I said generally had no credence because I was at least ten years younger than every single person in my family, so what did I really know?”

Some of my favorite moments are those she speaks about her husband. Their love story is not a fairy tale romance of sparkles and unicorn farts. It’s beautiful in the depth of their love and respect for each other. He wrote the sweetest afterword that is a testament to the foundation of their marriage. I hope if Wong’s daughters take one thing from Dear Girls, it is to find relationships grounded in respect, support, loyalty, and love because it seems to me Wong has surrounded herself with wonderful people. That says a lot about who she is as a person and what she gives to those around her. 

Memorable Quotes
“”You have suffered enough.” That became my mantra for motherhood from there on out.”
“Babies are often born with fingernails so disturbingly long it made me wonder why nobody told me there had been a raccoon living inside my uterus.”
“The answers to making it, to me, are a lot more universal than anyone’s race or gender, and center on having a tolerance for delayed gratification, a passion for the craft, and a willingness to fail.” “And yes, there have been and are still many times these days when I have to check people for defining me via my race and gender.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: Dear Girls; Intimate Tales, Untold Secrets & Advice for Living Your Best Life
Author: Ali Wong
Publisher: Random House
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9780525508830

Books, NonFiction

The Truth Will Set You Free, But First It Will Piss You Off by Gloria Steinem

Worth A Read Yes
Length 192
Quick Review Gloria Steinem has been one of the most identifiable women’s rights advocates for over sixty years. She has gathered some of her favorite quotes into this fun and powerful book. 

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My brand of feminism includes not wearing pants whenever possible.

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Spending quarantine reading The Truth Will Set You Free, But First It Will Piss You Off by Gloria Steinem.

I love quotes. I have a hard time remembering them, but I love them. I think they’re fascinating insights into just about anything, and when they’re really good quotes, they’re insights into everything. Gloria Steinem is quoted often. As a writer, activist, journalist, and all-around bad-ass, she has a lot of great quotes. She took some of her favorites from her career – and a few of her friends’ quotes too – and compiled them into The Truth Will Set You Free, But First It Will Piss You Off, which is one of her most famous quotes. 

The majority of the book is a collection of quotes. The prologue – like the beginning of every chapter – Steinem talks about moments and experiences in her life, which inspired or informed her work. She also breaks down the statistics, history, political, social, economics behind topics she tackles. The prologue takes the time to explain the title because it’s a quote she wrote many decades ago after being inspired by Vietnam protest signs. The quote went unnoticed for quite awhile until it became a slogan for feminists and others, “In a way, passing on a quote is like putting a note in a bottle and sending it out to sea.” 

Throughout the book some quotes are singled out and decorated with illustrations. The blue lettering used in these illustrations is a fun pop of color. 

The book is centered around women’s rights, but within the feminist realm she speaks to politics, aging, work, family, laughter, power, activism, racism, and more. 

Some might call it arrogant to make a book almost entirely out of your own quotes, but that’s only because she’s a woman. If a man did it, it would be called his greatest hits. I love that she had the lady-balls to say, ‘I like all of these things I’ve written. I like them so much, I want to remind everyone else about these awesome sentences and thoughts.’

A book of quotes is amazing, but it’s kind of hard to review. I highly enjoyed The Truth Will Set You Free, But First It Will Piss You Off. So I copied down my favoritest quotes, and it was hard to narrow them down because they were all good. It’s a great little book to keep on your coffee table or bookshelf. It’s filled with funny moments, serious topics, and a whole lot of feminism. 

Memorable Quotes
“So many of us are living out the unlived lives of our mothers.”
“A great thing about aging is that all those brain cells that were once devoted to sex are now available for anything else.”
“Democracy begins with owning our bodies. By that measure, women have rarely lived in a democracy.”
“Women can’t have it all if that means doing it all.”
“I hope you find encouragement and company in this lifetime connection of quotes from my speeches, articles, and books, plus some from my friends.”
“The Golden Rule was written by a smart guy for guys, but women need to reverse it: Treat ourselves as well as we treat others.”
“Talent is really enjoying something long enough to get good at it.” Nell Painter

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: The Truth Will Set You Free, But First It Will Piss You Off
Author: Gloria Steinem
Publisher: Random House
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9780593132685

Books, NonFiction

Dapper Dan by Daniel Day

Worth A Read Yes
Length 304
Quick Review Daniel Day grew up in Harlem. He learned business and people throwing dice, but his passion for fashion made him into an icon. 

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I tried to be dapper… but it’s quarantine, so I just threw on the nicest clothes I had with me, but also my feet were cold. Knight just looks like he’s sending out an S.O.S. with his eyes.

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Dapper Dan by Daniel Day. | Dress | Blazer | Fascinator | Slippers | Sports Bra | Lipstick

Daniel Day had never crossed my radar until I read Dapper Dan. That shouldn’t be surprising, my knowledge of anything remotely hip-hop is pathetic at best. After reading the book, I know more than I did; so that’s something.

Harlem has been home to a Renaissance, poverty, racism, violence, drugs, gangs, police brutality, art, culture, music, activism, change, and so much more. It’s a small and incredibly controversial area. Day has lived in one of the most interesting places during some of the most interesting years of recent history. Born in 1944, he grew up in the aftermath of the Renaissance, just in time to watch his home change and his family change along with it. From an early age, his life was grounded in education and hustling. A poor kid in a poor area, he hit the streets to make his money throwing dice because that’s where the money was then. He was a promising writer with journalistic aspirations, but it’s hard to dream distant dreams when money’s right in front of you and you’re hungry. Looking “fly” was important in Harlem, and Day did what he could to be the flyest. In his late thirties, he had children to support and wanted to hustle in a less legally gray way. He channeled his love for fashion into a high end boutique centered in and made for Harlem, catering to the hustlers he knew. It wasn’t long before word of his reputation spread throughout the country. Dapper Dan dressed hip-hop stars, rap up-and-comers, hustlers, and anyone who could afford his pieces. He tore down walls marking Harlem as a destination where people could and wanted to shop. 

From the beginning, Day makes it clear this is more than a memoir, it’s a story of systemic injustice. By page four, “It was understood, literally from birth, that the system didn’t really care about keeping our information correctly, that it didn’t really care about us.” His story cannot be told without also telling the story of Harlem, the people surrounding him, and the politics confining them. Day is a product of his environment. A bright kid, he grew up surrounded by hustlers and legends, like Langston Hughes, Nat King Cole, Billie Holiday, Patti LaBelle, Sugar Ray and more. They were all brilliant with a knowledge of the world and no access to it because of racism, prejudice, laws, and stupidity. Day showed a great deal of promise as a student, especially as a writer, having won many local competitions. All that promise didn’t keep him from dropping out of school during his sophomore year to throw dice and hustle like those who came before him, “The long-term benefits of getting an education seemed abstract at best and a lie at worst.” He wouldn’t earn his GED until he was 24; later attending Iona College before dropping out to support his children. Heroin infiltrated Harlem, ruining lives and destroying potential; Day was not immune nor was his family. He went to jail twice for drugs and spent nine months in an Aruban prison for credit card fraud.

No topic is off limits in Dapper Dan. From religion to drugs to jail time to marital affairs, Day does not shy away from telling the ugly truths of his story. In those hard truths, a man exists of unwavering loyalty, hard work, intelligence, and the ability to consciously analyze the root of his failings in order to be a better business owner, husband, father, and man. 

Each part begins with a quote from a black writer or poet. Dapper Dan is sprinkled with literary, societal, political, and historical references spanning centuries and cultures – I had to look up several – from song lyrics to wars to a chapter titled “Raisin in the Sun.” Day is showing off his knowledge base in an endearingly confident manner. He wants the reader to not-so-subtly know he is more than his faults, he’s learned. 

Dapper Dan named his boutique after his moniker. He earned it on the street from the original Dapper Dan, and it stuck with him his entire life. If you google Daniel Day, Daniel Day-Lewis immediately autofills and pops up even if you correct it, but type in Dapper Dan and the fashion revolutionary is the first hit. There was a vacuum in the fashion industry. A lack of partnerships with white owned companies and the lack of black owned companies to partner with made it difficult to start his boutique. He didn’t let those obstacles stop him. Day found a way. He wanted and succeeded in creating a haven for people to purchase quality fashion without feeling unwelcome or the stares or being followed by security guards in stores, like Gucci and Louis Vuitton. When he opened his boutique, he took his skills of reading people and improving what already exists and brought them into his clothing. He started out by selling furs and moved into creating looks inspired by haute couture looks, “I blackenized them.” They weren’t Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Prada, or anything else. They were Dapper Dan’s couture pieces. It took years for the fashion houses to realize what was happening in Harlem, and when they did, shit hit the fan. “They had to see that I had taken these brands and pushed them into new territory,” but they didn’t see it that way. 

Day overcame obstacles only to find more in his way at every turn. Dapper Dan is the story of a man navigating a world ruled by systemic racism. At 75 years old, he is still conquering the fashion world, creating trends, dressing some of the most influential artists, and expanding his mind. I enjoyed the book immensely.  

Memorable Quotes
“After heroin and cruel law enforcement turned neighborhoods like Harlem and South Bronx into ghettos, crack and AIDS arrived to turn our lives into waking nightmares.”
“I started reading and experimenting and sciencing it out.”
“I had never really bought into organized religion, but I was fascinated by the historical need for it.”
“Sometimes a thing happens, and you think that it happened to knock you down, but it turns out the experience really knocked you up.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: Dapper Dan; Made in Harlem
Author: Daniel R. Day
With: Mikael Awake
Publisher: Random House
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 978-525510512

Books, NonFiction

A Month in Siena by Hisham Matar

Worth A Read Yes
Length 135
Quick Review It has been Matar’s dream to see Sienese art in person, and he documents that dream in this minute memoir.

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Finding ways to enjoy art while quarantined. | A Month in Siena 

If you have a love for art and a desire to not be trapped inside your own home anymore, A Month in Siena by Hisham Matar is a great little book to read. It’s beautiful, inspiring, and consumable in an afternoon. 

Matar was drawn to Siena because of the art. After his father died, he found himself immersed in the Sienese School of painting in museums around the world. Over the years, it became a comforting obsession for him. He looked for it everywhere and had a burning desire to explore it more in its home city of Siena, Italy. After publishing The Return, he wanted to center himself and relax, so he made his way to Siena for a month, where he dove head first into the art world and focused on eight significant pieces. 

One of my favorite things about reading is the tactility of it. A Month in Siena is a beautiful book with glossy pages and images of some of the notable paintings he mentions within the pages. When talking about art, it’s important to see what is being discussed, and Matar wants the reader to visual immerse themselves in the art as much as he did.  

It is more than a memoir or a book about art, it’s a love letter to Siena, to Sienese art, and art history. Matar writes with the confidence of a seasoned writer but with the excitement of a toddler reaching for a favorite sweet. It is evident, he has found himself in the middle of his own personal heaven in Siena. He speaks about getting lost and falling in love with the tangible city instead of the dream he had built up in his mind throughout his life. He fell in love with the city which inspired his beloved art, but he also fell in love with meeting people and unlocking a deeper part of his soul.

The book is beautiful, but you have to have an appreciation and love for art and art history because that is what A Month in Siena is about: Matar’s love for art and the history of the Sienese School of painting. He has a beautiful way of crafting insightful passages, “With every step I pressed deeper into it and, as though in response, it made room.” The sentences create a picture of who he is as a writer but also as a person. He gives meaning to things and the interconnection of everything, “that cities are there in part to render us more intelligent and more intelligible to each other.”

Matar lets the reader into a part of his soul with this tiny memoir. His reverence for art and history come across in every line. I liked reading A Month in Siena, but it’s definitely for a specific demographic of reader. 

Memorable Quotes
“I remember thinking I did not mind dying – that it would have to come at some point – but that I was not quite ready yet, that dying now would be a waste, given how much time I had s not learning how to live.”
“And it must surely follow that what lies behind our longing and nostalgia is exactly this need to be accounted for.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: A Month in Siena
Author: Hisham Matar
Publisher: Random House
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9780593129135  

Books, NonFiction

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

Worth A Read Yes
Length 304
Quick Review A heartbreaking look into the formative years of one of America’s greatest poets and humans. 

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Reading I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou in Houston, Texas | Dress |

Mention Maya Angelou, most people know who she is and the eminence that name conveys. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is one of her most well known works, but I had never read it. Some of these great books, I’ve had a hard time making myself read because I know I’ll never be able to read it for the first time again, but I finally read this one. 

Angelou wrote an incredible memoir about coming of age as a smart black girl in the segregated South, being tossed between family members, surviving trauma, and finding the resilience to keep going. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, speaks to being trapped. Trapped by racism, trapped by circumstance, trapped by trauma, trapped by family, trapped by any number of things. Angelou grew up under vastly different circumstances in a very different time, but I saw myself in her words. Angelou conveys the suffocation of being trapped by people’s perceptions and actions. It’s impossible not to ache for the little girl within the pages. 

The words are incredible moving. Angelou has a way of describing simple, quotidian things in a magnificent way, “fans moved with the detachment of old men.” It’s beautiful in it’s relatability. The writing is incredible. Angelou was a poet, and her ability to play with words and paint pictures is on full display. 

What spoke to me most was the shame and loneliness Angelou dealt with. She was abandoned repeatedly by her family depending on what suited their needs. After being raped as a young girl, she dealt with the shame, guilt, religious sorrow, and gaslighting alone. It’s a sad story, but it’s not a unique one.

She was born Marguerite Johnson. “After Bailey learned definitely that I was his sister, he refused to call me Marguerite, but rather addressed me each time as “Mya Sister,” and in later more articulate years, after the need for brevity had shortened the appellation to “My,” it was elaborated into “Maya.” The love between Bailey and Maya was apparent on every page. She took the name he gave her and wore it publically until the day she died. 

It’s hard to write about iconic works like I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings because they are so well known and talked about with so much reverence. I loved this touching memoir. It’s in the American canon for a reason.  

Memorable Quotes
“Excitement is a drug, and people whose lives are filled with violence are always winding where the next “fix” is coming from.”
“The Black woman in the South who raises sons, grandsons and nephews had her heartstrings tied to a hanging noose.”
“It seemed terribly unfair to have a toothache and a headache and have to bear at the same time the heavy burden of Blackness.”
“He told me once that “all knowledge is spendable currency, depending on the market.””
“The Black female is assaulted in her tender years by all those common forces of nature at the same time that she is caught in the tripartite crossfire of masculine prejudice, white illogical hate and Black lack of power.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Author: Maya Angelou
Publisher: Random House
Copyright: 1969
ISBN: 9780812980028