Books, NonFiction

Raygun Humble Brags in The Midwest: God’s Gift to Planet Earth

Posing with The Midwest: God’s Gift to Planet Earth in front of Raygun in Des Moines’ East Village.

Worth A Read Yes
Length 256
Quick Review If you’re not from the Midwest, you probably know it exists somewhere but the where and the what it is is probably a little foggy. This book will walk you through the important yet forgotten region.

Raygun started out as a tshirt store in Des Moines. It quickly grew a cult following because the t-shirts are hilarious and just about the only ones in my closet. Over the years, they have expanded from t-shirts to art to book publishing. 

This will be a short book review because I can sum it up in: This is hilarious and educational! Two of my favorite things. 

An Iowan by birth, I want people to know my state exists. I would also like for it to not be confused with Ohio or Idaho. Iowa does not share a border with Pennsylvania nor is it known as the Potato State. It does have a border with Illinois and Minnesota and is known as the Hawkeye state. The Midwest is a great book for laughs and learning. Whether you want to know facts about the state, history, or people, Raygun delivers the information in a relatable and very Midwestern way. 

With lines like, “Adam and Eve are prime examples of how not to behave if you want to stay in the Midwest.” followed by “Those who remained and prospered in Eden are today’s Midwesterners.”

There are so many wonderful qualities The Midwest goes over in detail, but one of the most common is “After our good looks, this niceness is what we’re known most for.” As an Iowan, I can say I hear “Oh you’re from Iowa, that’s why you’re so nice.” It gets tiring being stereotyped, but if my home state has to be stereotyped, this is not a bad one. 

The Midwest is so attention starved, this book takes advantage of every single opportunity to point out a famous, important, or any person of note real or fictional that hails from the greatest region in the “galaxy.” Out of the forty-five presidents of the United States, Raygun wants you to know “The Midwest has produced fifteen U.S. presidents. Three were killed, four other survived serious assassination attempts, and two died early. Our current Midwestern president, Barack Obama, may be in a dire situation. After all, just being a Midwestern president gives him a 70% chance of being killed, being shot at, or dying early.” Positive: Obama made it! 

Raygun never misses a chance to make fun of literally anything, including the Midwest. We have a very self-deprecating sense of humor if nothing else. The Midwest is full of information, laughs, illustrations, cartoons, and more; all of which comprise one of the most overlooked yet completely awesome regions in the world. We’re humble, but we will self promote when the occasion arises… Mostly because we want to come and enjoy the under appreciated beauty 67 million people call home!

Memorable Quotes
“Hollywood can’t get enough of us! With character attributes that range from extremely good looking and intelligent to kind and brave, Midwesterners can fill just about any role.” Clark Kent is from Kansas!

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

Buy from Raygun

Title: The Midwest: God’s Gift to Planet Earth!; An Illustrated Guide to the History and Culture of the Galaxy’s Most Important Region
Author: Raygun
Publisher: Raygun
Copyright: 2012

ISBN: 9780578116198

Experiences, In My Own Words, Lifestyle, Travel

Derecho: Iowa’s $4 Billion Storm No One Talks About

A month ago, my best friend, Alex, called on Monday, August 10 at 11:12 in the morning on his drive from Cedar Rapids to Carrol, Iowa, like he always does when he’s commuting on work trips. Nothing was out of the norm. I was switching between our conversations about nothing and everything to yelling at dogs to stop chewing on each others’ butts to pouring myself another cup of inspiration water, or tea as normal people call it. Little did we know, Alex was driving directly into a devastating natural disaster. 

Through the phone, I could hear the rain and winds beat against the windows of his car. The sounds worsened as he muttered, “Holy shit. Everything is green.” Growing up in the Midwest, “green” means one thing: tornado. Except this time it wasn’t just a tornado. The phrase “I’m going to find an overpass” was the only thing Alex said for minutes. We sat in silence, I on the couch, him driving through a catastrophic storm a thousand miles away. I hung up under the guise of giving him room to concentrate, but, in the vain of complete honesty, my anxiety and lack of control couldn’t handle the helplessness of both our situations. He never found an overpass, and stopping is more dangerous than moving forward. He called as he drove past my hometown to report he was alive and Ames was dark. 

Derecho. 

The only reason I know about the derecho and devastation in Iowa or even what a derecho is is because I was on the phone with Alex while it happened and I’m from Iowa. I spent 23 years waiting to leave and six years being very proud to be from there. I have friends and family all over Iowa. I know people whose lives were ravaged by a storm that has received almost no media coverage outside the region. I have had to rely on Facebook updates and local news sources for any information. National coverage has been all but nonexistent. 

There was no warning about the derecho. Even climatologists were surprised by the devastation that sweeped the Midwest. It began in the early hours in South Dakota; by 8:00 am, the storm crossed from Nebraska into Iowa. Iowa was going through a severe drought, so a forecast of rain was welcomed by the predominantly agricultural state, but the storm grew angrier. By the time it reached Carroll, it was no longer just a storm but an unstable force raging across the Heartland. By the time it reached Des Moines, wind speeds were over 80 mph. It reached its pinnacle in the Cedar Rapids area with wind speeds of 120 mph and higher. Iowa experienced the worst damage, but the derecho traveled 770 miles from South Dakota to Ohio over a fourteen hour period. 

Cedar Rapids, where Alex lives and a mere twenty minutes away from our alma mater, was one of the worst hit areas. I had a plane ticket to Cedar Rapids for the 13th. Three days after the storm. As I looked out the window over the familiar patchwork of Iowa, I could see silos crumpled like pop cans (or soda cans for non-Midwesterners), crops felled as if Paul Bunyan had gone on a jaunt, trees broken like twigs, and homes spread across roads. The derecho didn’t destroy everything. Like a tornado, a field would be decimated but the one next to it was fine; a silo destroyed but the home stood tall; everything was gone or everything was fine. From the sky it was remarkable, but it couldn’t compare to the view from the ground. 

Alex picked me up. Streets were completely blocked by trees. Power lines were down. Houses were dark. People were sitting in lawn chairs in their front yards with nothing else to do. We made our way through the hallways and into his apartment by the light of our cellphones. He lives adjacent to Coe College, and after three days without, he was one of the lucky ones, and had his power turned on. Some would end up going weeks without power. 

It was emotionally devastating to walk the streets of Cedar Rapids. Trees poked their way into living rooms. Windows cluttered streets. Roofs shattered across yards. Cars were tacoed under limbs and debris. Houses buckled under hundred year old trees. Power lines frayed on sidewalks. Lamps snapped in half. Orange flyers clung to doors condemning homes, signalling another family was homeless. It was everything I could do to stay the tears. Yet laughter, voices, music floated in the air. Amidst destruction lived hope and community. Families and friends congregated on porches and in yards to escape the stagnant humidity building in the homes from the lack of air conditioning. 

I wandered the streets with my camera. Taking it all in. What was touched, what remained, and the in between. People started calling to me, inviting me into their yards. Everyone saw the camera with hope in their eyes that someone was there to document what had happened to them. I said I was a writer, from Ames and Mount Vernon, living in Houston. I’m not the writer they were hoping for, but I want to tell their stories. 

Lisa* ran off the front porch of what was her beautiful blue Victorian home, waving me over. “Ma’am! Are you telling our story?” Her mother sat on the porch swing as Lisa’s three young children played with toys. Her husband was baking potatoes in a fire pit they’d moved to the front yard so they had a better view of the debris clearing. Lisa’s nephew came around from the backyard with her phone, which had been charging in the car. “Oh, don’t you worry about my house. We have some water damage and lost some windows and a few trees, but we’ll be fine.” Carpet, from what seemed like the entire house, was rolled up in the driveway; boxes full of broken glass and window frames sat next to the carpet; plastic rustled in every visible window hole; a hundred year old maple lay across their house with the side porch crushed beneath it and roots still intact. “Do you have a minute? I want to show you the people who have really been affected. This is over on Eldridge behind the Mall that way.” She pulled up a video on her phone to show me apartments collapsed on top of each other, furniture strewn every which way, and the sobbing of a man in the background. “These folks lost everything. They need help. We need someone to pay attention to this, so they can get the help they need.” She squeezed my arm and thanked me for caring when I asked how they were doing, “We’re blessed. It could’ve been much worse, but God watched over us.”

An older woman and her granddaughter sat on the ground staring up at an undamaged tree, “Minnie Mouse! We have grapes for you!” Ever the animal lover, my interest was piqued. Mary beckoned me over and patted the ground beside her, “If you’re covering the storm, don’t forget to talk about the animals. They didn’t have a house to take cover in like we did.” Sitting in a crook of the tree sat a squirrel. Emily, the granddaughter handed me a grape, “Minnie Mouse’s tree fell down. I tried to fix her nest, but she didn’t want it back.” Minnie Mouse and Gretchen are two of the squirrels who frequently visit Mary’s porch for bird seed and other snacks. Gretchen had been hanging around for six years, but Minnie Mouse was only two years old. They were so used to Mary and Emily that these two squirrels used to sit on their laps eating grapes, their favorite fruit but apples were okay too. Gretchen only disappeared during the storm, but it took Minnie Mouse five days to make her way back to Mary’s front porch. Neither were ready to be touched yet. Mary wanted me to tell you, “The storm changed them.” I don’t think Gretchen and Minnie Mouse were the only ones changed by the derecho, though.   

Rod and Phil drove down from Wisconsin to help clean up their mom’s yard, but they weren’t the only ones. Cousins and grandchildren filled the yard. Everyone had a job, and no one sat idle, except for Doris. Doris’ home was intact, but there was damage to the siding and roof with a few cracked windows. Every single one of the many trees surrounding the Victorian home had fallen victim to the derecho. Gazing at an enormous pile of freshly chopped wood, Doris couldn’t help but say with a smile, “It’s such a blessing none of the trees hit the house! I’ll have lots of firewood this winter, at least. My poor grandkids lost their house in the country, so they’ll be staying with me for the foreseeable future.” The grandkids piped up, “But you let us have cookies for breakfast. Mom doesn’t do that.” Rod asked if I had heard about the storm in Houston, “It’s a shame this isn’t getting any coverage. How can people care about a place and the people if they never see it?” 

In the evenings along First Avenue, cookouts were everywhere, accompanied by signs saying something to the gist of: “Free Food! Everyone Welcome.” Barbershops, churches, businesses, and families set up BBQs offering food to the hungry. In an area without power and a lack of food storage, people depended on these moments of community perseverance. There wasn’t a sad face in sight. People congregated with joy as they connected over food and a shared sense of surviving something remarkable.

This is the Iowa I grew up in. This is the Iowa I am proud to be from. I talked to people who were clearing their neighbors’ yards even though theirs was condemned next door. Those in the worst of circumstances never dwelled on their own problems, instead they wanted me to know about those who had it worse. Every single person I spoke with uttered the word “blessed.” They were blessed; they had fared so well. These people, in the heart of the destruction, saw blessings. They used the devastation, in the midst of a pandemic, to gather and help and find the good in the derecho. No one drew attention to their own heartbreak and struggles, they wanted me to tell the stories of the people who lost more. These are the people I grew up around. The ones who give when they don’t have much themselves. The ones who stay when they don’t have a reason to. The ones who find a reason to laugh and dance when no one would blame them for crying. This is Iowa. It is the Heartland.

Of the 35.7 million acres of land in Iowa, over 26 million acres are devoted to crops. A total of 85% of all land in the state is used for agricultural purposes with over 88,000 individually owned farms. Iowa is the largest producer of corn, eggs (18 chickens per person in the state), red meat, and hogs (seven piggies per person! for a total of 30% of all hogs in the country) in the US. It is the second largest producer of soybeans in the US. They’re also in the top five producers of goat’s milk, oats, turkey, and dairy. Iowa has the largest grain storage capacity in the country, 3.6 billion bushels to be exact. 39% of all corn production goes toward ethanol. Iowa is the leading producer of ethanol: 4.23 billion gallons of ethanol, in 2019 alone, are produced in the state’s 42 corn ethanol plants and two cellulosic plants. Iowa falls to second place in cash receipts for a total of $27.4 billion in 2018. It is the second in agricultural exports and is responsible for over $10.6 billion dollars in exportation revenues. The derecho affects every single one of these, which in turn affects the country and the world. The fall in revenue will have an impact on the local, national, and global economies. There could be food shortages for those who enjoy pork, beef, eggs, dairy, corn, and a whole bunch of other things. Not to mention the dent in ethanol production, which affects a whole long list of things. More than 57 million bushels of grain storage were destroyed, which will cost upwards of $300 million to clear and replace. 35% or more of the corn crop was destroyed, and the remaining crops may have a difficult time being harvested and stored. The derecho didn’t just destroy homes and lives in Iowa, it will have a major impact on the national and international economy over the following months and years as the state rebuilds. But you know, it’s just a fly over state that only garners attention during elections and is thought of as a backwater-hicksville. (Also false.)  

Governor Kim Reynolds requested $82.7 million to repair or replace the 8,237 destroyed homes. She also requested $100 million for private repair utilities and $3.77 billion to cover agricultural damage. Trump, ever helpful, approved $45 million. This leaves farmers, homeowners, and practically everyone else hurting. The lack of federal aid could force small farmers to sell, some of whom have worked the land for generations. 

Currently, a month later, the Iowa Department of Human Services website states that the only households eligible for federal aid must fall 200% under the poverty line and submit their paperwork by September 21, 2020. The maximum amount these households are eligible to receive is $5,000. 200% UNDER the federal poverty line. Even if a person or family meets that qualification, they might get $5,000. So if they don’t have insurance, they’re shit outta luck. The people who qualify for “aid” are the people who are having to decide between food and medication, rent and food, food and shoes, so on and so forth; there is no way they are able to afford insurance. As someone who has been that poor, insurance is prayer. Actual insurance is a luxury. At the end of the day, when a person has lost everything, $5,000 doesn’t cover much. It might be just enough to cover food and a deposit on a place to live. 

With the cost of damages in Iowa still rising and totalling over $4 billion, Iowans are feeling left behind and forgotten by their government, country, and media coverage.

Nine days after the derecho demolished Iowa, I flew out of Cedar Rapids’ Eastern Iowa Airport. After boarding the plane, we were delayed. Looking out the window, I and the other passengers on the plane watched Donald Trump and his entourage exit Air Force One. He was there for a tour of Iowa to see the destruction himself and lend his full support to the people. He never even left the airport. He got off his plane, showed his face for a press conference, and flew away with less than two hours on the ground. 

Four days after getting back to Houston, I was at a socially distanced going away party, when someone asked if I had fun on my trip. My response was, “Fun, no. Disaster zones are never fun.” A quick conversation about why I called Iowa a disaster zone, Were there riots? Is it because they’re so conservative? Once that was cleared up, I was met with a Wow, I didn’t hear about the storm in Ohio. As friends were struggling to cook meals over open fires in cities and towns throughout Iowa, people on the side of the country were learning about the storm two weeks later in Ohio, the great potato state. 

*All names have been changed.

11..., Lifestyle

11… Things I’m Going to Do in 2020 for the Blog

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Doing what I have to in order to get the picture in Des Moines. | Camera | Flannel | Sweater | Jeans | Scarf | Boots | Purse | Hat

I’m not much for resolutions or goals, but these aren’t resolutions. These are small things I’m going to do this year because I’m going to need a reminder of the things I thought about doing at one point when I’m bored and can’t remember what I want to do. These are all blog focused because I have loads of ideas, and then I forget about those ideas the moment I sit down to write anything at all. 

  1. Make a point to see more murals in Houston.
  2. Try new restaurants.
  3. Take better and more unique pictures.
  4. Be better about sticking to the schedule I set for myself.
  5. Create a list of my favorite coffee shops in Houston.
  6. Write about the things that are important to me.
  7. Go on more Blips for Trips (short, drivable day trips) in my spare time.
  8. Learn how to create a mailing list.
  9. Write about the Iowa Law Library. (finally) 
  10. See more of Texas. 
  11. Support as many wonderful women as I can. 

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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11..., Experiences, Lifestyle, Travel

11… Of My Home For A Midwestern Holidays Activities

I went home for the holidays. Home is such a vague word because I consider home to be Houston and wherever my people are. Other than that, I was in Minnesota, Chicago, and Iowa. I got to spend time with most of the people that matter most to me in this world. 

  1. Three long road trips to Chicago to Ames to home [Houston] with my favorite man and being, aka my life pawtner aka my boyfriend and my dog.

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    Stopping at the World’s Largest Truck Stop in Davenport, Iowa. | Crop Sherpa Jacket | Yogas | Red Wellies | Stud Earrings | Glasses |
  2. I played with horses in Minnesota. Alex’s mom has a horse farm in the middle of nowhere Minnesota, and it’s one of my favorite places on Earth. The farm is surrounded by bluffs, and it’s just beautiful. I was only there for two days, but it was a great way to start my holiday trip.

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    I love horsie cuddles!!! | Wool Skirt | Sweater | Stud Earrings |
  3. Had a family Christmas in Effingham, where Mom and Dad are building their retirement lake home. While Mom was showing us the sight, we got the car stuck. None of us wore the right shoes, but we pushed anyways and made it back onto the road. Girl Power.

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    We were all visibly thrilled about the situation.
  4. I dressed up with my sisters and Beau on Christmas morning to be Santa and her elves because we don’t require Santa to be a man in our family. I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever seen anything as cute as Beau in a Santa costume. Made my entire year.

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    Elf Pajamas | Elf Hats | Santa Costume
  5. One of my Christmas presents was two tickets to The Second City for their Do You Believe in Madness? Show, critiquing the modern political climate and culture in general. Kelsey and I went and had an AMAZING time. I don’t know if I’ve ever laughed that much in a two hour period. (I probably have, but it was at myself, so it doesn’t count.) We had front row seats, and they served hot chocolate. I mean, it was made for me.

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    Enjoying Chicago. | OTK Boots | Coat | Hat | Purse | Scarf 
  6. I got to spend the evening with my brother and sister-in-law in Chicago, enjoying good food, yummy chocolates, and even better company.

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    Two of my favorite people!!! | Jeans | OTK Boots | Sweater | Scarf | Earrings |
  7. Beau got bit by my parents’ new rescue dog. Stay tuned for more on this week’s Blog + Dog for more details. She’s fine, but it was ruff. 
  8. I did some unnecessary shopping in downtown Ames with my mom, pawtner, and dad. I picked up very important things, like popover tins, tea, soap that smells like hot chocolate, and dog treats/toys/chewbones. Beau appreciates the fact we spend more money on her than ourselves.
  9. I took pictures in the Iowa Law Library. There will be a post about that in the future. It’s amazing. If you ever have the chance to go, do so. You won’t regret it.

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    Honestly, one of the most beautiful places ever. | Skirt | Sweater | Heels |
  10. The family went to the Iowa State Capitol Building and East Village in Des Moines to explore and have a fun afternoon on New Year’s Eve. I had never been with my dad, and my mom hadn’t been in two decades – since I went on a second grade field trip.

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    Posing with my Iowa baseball cap in front of the capitol. | Jeans | Sweater | Flannel | Boots | Scarf |

     

  11. I dressed up as a flapper for New Year’s Eve, took pictures in Beardshear Hall on Iowa State’s campus, and attended a concert in a speakeasy. It was a lot of fun. My parents had an amazing time, and Dylan and I got to dance together, which was a nice way to bring in the New Year.  
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    Flapper Dress | Satin Gloves| [Faux] Fur Cape | Heels | Purse | Pearl Necklace | Pearl Bracelet | Art Deco Earrings | Stud Earrings | Headpiece

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

 

Books, Fiction, NonFiction

American Indian Stories by Zitkála-Šá

Worth A Read Absolutely
Length 320
Quick Review Zitkála-Šá uses her experience as Sioux woman to write nonfiction stories, short stories, and poems to fight for change and equality long before the fight received any recognition.

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Contemplating American Indian Stories by Zitkála-Šá in Houston, Texas. | Sweater | Jeans | Boots | Socks |

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American Indian Stories by Zitkála-Šá.

November is National Native American Heritage Month, and I never knew that until this year when I looked up to see if they had a month… Suffice to say, we could do better educating the people of this country about the indigenous people who lived here long before we barged in and stole their land. I don’t know very much about native culture or history, so I definitely need to do better. After reading Zitkála-Šá’s American Indian Stories, I need to make more of an effort to read and appreciate Native American literature and writing. 

There’s a shitty irony in the fact American Indian Stories is written in English, the language of the colonizer. Zitkála-Šá writes about her life and tells stories inspired by her people, but in order to get published or reach a wide audience, she had to write in English. A language she was not raised speaking and struggled to learn in a harsh and cruel environment. 

American Indian Stories paints a beautiful and heartbreaking picture of a land and a close knit community ingrained with caring for the needs of others, respect each other, and being a part of nature. It’s more than a book about being a native child and woman; it’s about her journey into activism. From being a young child chasing her own shadow on the plains to a child angrily hiding from a haircut or ruining turnips for dinner in the city, she pushed back and followed her own path. 

The writing is beautiful. Even when the stories are being told from a child’s perspective, they are poignant, “I sank deep into the corner of my seat, for I resented being watched.” or “”… for now I was only one of many little animals driven by a herder.” The contrast between home on the plains and living in a boarding house in the city is stark. In the modern world full of sound, lights, technology, and people, I didn’t think about the sensory attack it was for her to move into a bustling city. Her inability to move or feel the breeze from the plains would have been stifling in its own right. The language and style Zitkála-Šá utilizes throughout American Indian Stories changes to punctuate the emotions she or her characters were going through. Life on the plains was illustrated with long and flowing syntax to the point of being lackadaisical. Her experiences in the boarding house and among white people changed the style into short sentences with precise punctuation, which only reveals a small part of the tension, anxiety, anger, and sadness she must have been feeling at the time.

Zitkála-Šá depicts strong people and characters in her book. The most interesting and abundant characters are strong women. She was an incredibly strong woman herself. She was a writer, musician, activist, politician, and more, so it should be no surprise, her characters are independent women. In “A Warrior’s Daughter,” she shows a woman can be brutal warriors, saviors, and gentle all at the same time. They don’t have to choose between being strong and vulnerable or a warrior and a wife; women are capable of great things simultaneously.

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Contemplating American Indian Stories by Zitkála-Šá in Houston, Texas. | Sweater | Jeans | Boots | Socks |

As a native Midwesterner from a neighboring state to Zitkála-Šá’s home state of South Dakota, her descriptions of nature resonate with my history. The land she ran across as a child is the same land I did. There are stark differences, of course. As a child standing on a hill looking at the rolling fields and feeling a sense of belonging and freedom, we were the same for a moment. These shared histories and emotional memories are what connect us as humans across differences and time. She was born 115 year before I was into a very different life and way of life, but her home is my home. Reading her childhood memories of South Dakota in American Indian Stories felt like reading my own childhood memories of Iowa. 

Through so much of this book, I kept thinking What the fuck, white people??? As a linguist – and probably as an intersectional human being – I can’t fathom thinking corporal punishment will make children suddenly speak a foreign language. The whole boarding house situation was appalling. There was no understanding of children or their needs, let alone the needs of children from different backgrounds, cultures, and languages. It broke my heart. I knew what happened and went on, but it’s another thing to read someone’s experiences.  

American Indian Stories is a beautiful book. It’s small. It has an incredible emotional depth full of meaning and insight into our past as Americans and what has been done. It is heartbreaking and relatable because her experiences are human. Zitkála-Šá calls out the wrongs she and her people faced a century ago, but those wrongs continue to be done. 

Memorable Quotes
“The most gruesome conflict, make no mistake, was within the self, in the individual heart that was, at one time, culturally defined by connection to others.” Forward by Layli Long Soldier
“They treated my best judgement, poor as it was, with the utmost respect.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

Buy on Amazon | Buy on Barnes & Noble | Buy on Book Depository
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Title: American Indian Stories
Author: Zitkála-Šá
Publisher: Modern Library (Penguin Random House)
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9781984854216

Experiences, Travel

Jim’s Apple Farm; Minnesota’s Largest Candy Store

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Exploring the back room. | Skirt | Sweater | Shoes| Earrings | Scarf

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Grabbing all the candy. I need more arms. | Skirt | Sweater | Shoes| Earrings

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Sitting in a pumpkin patch. | Skirt | Sweater | Shoes| Earrings | Scarf | Pom Hat

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Before I actually got to work shopping!!! | Sweater | Jeans | Boots

I love candy. I don’t it eat the way I used to, but I love candy. It triggers the happiness centers in my soul. 

My best friend, Alex, has been telling me about his dad’s high school best friend’s candy store/apple orchard for ever. Literally, as long as I have known him. Turns out, Jim’s Apple Orchard is the biggest candy store in Minnesota. I practically skipped through the entire place in complete awe the very first time – and last and every time between. I should have known; Alex is not prone to giddy excitement or hyperbole. (Shh… don’t tell him; I like to pretend he blows everything out of proportion.) 

Alex did kind of lie to me. He invited me to come hang out with him in Minnesota, now that he is out of the military. He mentioned he’d be working at the store a bit… I didn’t have to if I didn’t want to. I think he forgot who I am because if there’s work to do, I’m going to do it. A “bit” was a major understatement. Jim’s Apple Farm was in the midst of their busiest weekend of the year, and they wanted all the help they could get. Granted, I like to work, but it’s been a long time since I’ve worked fourteen hour days on me feet. Fourteen hour days behind a computer at home are a totally different beast. 

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Don’t get between me and my candy. Or else. | Skirt | Sweater | Shoes| Earrings | Scarf

Jim’s Apple Farm started out as an apple orchard after a soldier came home from World War II and grew into the family business it is today. About twenty years ago, they branched out into candy after a hail storm made the year’s apples less than fruitful. What was once a table full of candy is a barn stuffed full of candy and soda and puzzles and delights from around the world to excite your inner child or your real children. They still run an orchard of tens of thousands of apple trees. The candy store is open from the beginning of May to the end of November; the owners may lock the doors, but they’re hard at work inside in the off months, keeping things fresh adding new and interesting thrills. They are some of the hardest working people I’ve met, and their success is completely due to their hard work, creativity, passion, and innovation. 

You’ll know it when you see it because the bright yellow barn is all but impossible to miss – although, someone did find the side of the barn with their car. Jim’s Apple Farm is a delight for all ages, unless you hate fun and happiness. There’s a sense of humor around every corner reflecting the warmth and laughter originating from the owners. The bathrooms are hidden behind Porta Potty doors with “World’s Largest Porta Potty” painted on the walls. Don’t worry, it’s just a door. There is no end to the amusements. In house baked goods make the entire store smell like grandma’s house at Christmas. Elsa and Anna twinkle with a little castle for children to climb in. Marvel and DC  heroes and villains stand guard or ready to pounce. The back room is a full circle featuring a revolving ceiling; if you’re not careful, you might get lost. At the center, is TARDIS built to scale. Star Wars ships spin above head against a starry sky. You can find Zoltar, which only reminded me of Tom Hanks. You don’t even need to go for the candy/soda/apples/baked goods/treats, your attention will be kept by the amazing decor. 

 

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My inner nerd was soooo happy. | Skirt | Sweater | Shoes| Earrings | Scarf

Robert and Renee, the owners, hold a lot of trust in their employees and their customers. Pumpkins and merchandise are everywhere out front, but all you have to do is tell the cashier how many you want and load them up on your way out. No one will check to make sure you’re not taking more than you should. Whether it’s the small town charm or faith in humanity, this is just one example of the many moments of sincerity. There staff is comprised of all ages. Most of the cashiers are in high school. Shift leaders are as young as sixteen, giving them responsibility and management experience at a young age is helping build confidence in an increasingly marginalized age group. 

I only lent a hand at Jim’ Apple Farm for two days. It was quite the experience. Just being a customer would have been wonderful, but being behind the scenes brought a completely new perspective. There’s probably as much storage space as there is shopping space. People are hard at work before doors open and long after doors close. It is an amazing amount of coordinated effort and planning to make sure the shopping experience is smooth and exciting for everyone. I was absolutely exhausted after every day being on my feet. The days went by in a whirl as there was always something to be done. I can’t imagine doing it day-in and day-out for months on end. 

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Eyeing the candy I’m going to take home. | Skirt | Sweater | Shoes| Earrings

I took huge advantage of my employee discount, though. I walked out with a ginormous back of candy and soda from all around the world. I haven’t even made a dent in it yet, but luckily it doesn’t spoil quickly. 

Facebook is the only place you’ll find Jim’s Apple Orchard. They have almost no social media clout, and honestly, they don’t need it. They don’t even have a website. The barn was designed for Instagram long before Instagram existed or even smartphones, but they don’t care. They’re catering to the child in all of us. People were putting their phones down and looking up. Not just at each other but at the ceiling, walls, and corners to find all the treasures hidden in every nook and cranny. 

Hurry before they close for the year on December 1!

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

Jim’s Apple Farm
20430 Johnson Memorial Drive
Jordan, MN 55352

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