11..., Lifestyle

11…

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I love watching nature. | Dress | Shoes | Sunglasses |
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My dog is my life. Don’t mess with her. | Pajamas | Headband |
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I will do many, many things for a picture for the blog. | Shirt | Shorts | Shoes | Sunglasses |

I’m going to be embarking on a lot of new things here …on the B.L. Because I love blogging and writing, but I want to do more of the things that bring me happiness and fulfillment. Books and book reviews are great, but I need to write about other more important-to-me things. The things I’m going to be writing about more don’t always exude happiness and rainbows. I don’t want to be a total downer because I spend most of my time laughing, so being Eyeore all the time on the blog would be an utter betrayal of who I am. 

On Mondays, or on as many Mondays as I can manage, I will be posting 11…, which is a new blog series I’m introducing today! It will be a list of eleven things, people, places, whos-its, whats-its, and randoms on whatever topic I decide to write about on that particular day. Most of them will be humorous, some will be informative, some will be dark, and there will be everything in between. For the very first 11… I will be talking about myself because I haven’t done a random list of things about me in a good while. So why not now!

  1. 5’10” I am super tall for a lady and technically for a man. The global average height for a man is 5’9”, so technically I’m better than over half the men in the world. Or at least, that’s what I’m telling myself. (I have tiny feet for my height: a size 7. This is directed at all the weirdos who message me about my feet on Instagram. Now you know, go away.)
  2. Musically Inclined Fun fact, I’m a classically trained pianist. I’m rusty, but it’s all there still! I can play the flute and was in a super select flute choir all four years of high school – I hated it and regret it, but it’s a fun(?) fact. I was also in choir in college – it’s how I met Alex of the many blog posts – and have a five octave range. My car singing is legendary, and everyone who’s experienced it is now deaf.
  3. Bollywood I have an undying love of Bollywood movies. In my dreamer’s heart of hearts, I want to be a Bollywood star. They make me happy when skies are grey. I have been obsessed since college. If I ever get the chance to be in a Bollywood movie, I would die happy. So please let me know if you know of an opportunity.
  4. PTSD I have it. It’s a long-ass story, and I will get to it, but today is not the day!
  5. Carousels I LOVE carousels. On my 23rd birthday, I made Kelsey (my best friend til death us do reunite in the place I will never again experience a chill) ride a carousel with me eight times. The only reason we stopped is because she gave me the look. If I see one, I will squeal, jump, and point. Words will not come out of my mouth, but I will grab your arm and tug – pull with great force in the direction of the carousel – to indicate I want a ride or twelve. 
  6. Polyglot Technically, I speak five languages. I’m a native English speaker. I have proficiency in French and Russian. I can get myself around the respective countries with my German and Spanish. 
  7. Chinese Food I believe with absolute certainty that Chinese food has magical healing powers. When I am sick or suffering from any ailment, Chinese food will help if not completely fix the situation. I have yet to be proven wrong. 
  8. Professionally Trained Ballerina For a very long time, I dreamed of being a professional ballerina. I worked super hard at it and didn’t completely suck. I ended up quitting due to injuries and being super tall and my parents’ poverty. I still love dancing more than just about anything. Fun fact: Ballerinas are not tall individuals. 
  9. Private Plane I secretly not so secretly want a private plane. This is absolutely unrealistic, I know. I want one because I want to see the world with my dog, and I think this would be far easier if we had a private plane because we could go wherever whenever without worrying about a dog on a plane with other people and their allergies. Really, it would be a public service. I did the math, I only need 99.99 million more dollars to responsibly buy a private plane and the staff it requires. I’m saving. 
  10. Pantsless I am pantsless 87% of the time because I’m a stay-at-home dog mom. Kidding kind of… I’m a dog mom, and I stay at home, but really it’s because I work from home. I’m a freelance writer, editor, and translator. It’s a great gig. I love it, even though my social life pretty strictly involves baby talk to a nonhuman. If you need a writer, hit me up. I promise I will try harder with your work than with my blog.  
  11. Three Majors and An Emphasis in Four Years I somehow managed to graduate college without ever checking into a hospital for exhaustion in four years with degrees in Literature, French, and Russian with an emphasis (basically a minor) in Literary Analysis and Translation. It’s basically a degree in reading super good. 

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Blog + Dog, Style

Dog Mom Shirts

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Hanging out at the beach in Galveston, TX. | Dog Mom Shirt | Dog Mom Hat | Shorts

I love dog mom clothes. It’s advertizing. It says “Hi, I love my dog more than I’ll ever love you.” It may also say, “Hi, I’m a crazy dog mom. Try me.” Okay. All it probably says is “I have a dog and enough money for this tshirt.” If you know me, I’ll personally tell you all three of those sentences, but the first is the most apropos.

I really love being a dog mom. It’s probably the most rewarding thing I will ever do in my entire life. I shouldn’t have children because I will probably always tell them I love them almost as much as the dog. Reasons why:

  • Dogs clean their own butts. There’s a solid three-ish years you have to do that with the human children.
  • Children are sticky. My dog has never been sticky. Not ever.
  • I can put my dog in a box and leave for several hours. Children: Hello, CPS?
  • Children are a lifelong commitment.
  • I wish my dog was a lifelong commitment.
  • Children can talk. My dog only barks when there is danger or she has to shit.
  • Children will probably grow up to hate you in some small way. Beau only holds a grudge for 20 seconds.
  • I can pack Beau up in the car and go anywhere anytime. Children have school and other boring crap I have to go to and be a part of.
  • Waking up to my dog’s butthole is unpleasant, but it’s better than an expensive, sticky, talkative child.

I love kids. I think they’re super great. Especially when I can hand them back to their parents. Being Fun Aunt RaeAnna is my favorite thing to be to children. I can whoosh in with presents and fun times before whooshing out several days later. I’ll even take them for weeks at a time! My heart is with my dog. I love being her Mom more than anything. I love working from home because I get to cover Beau in kisses any time I want to.

I have been collecting Dog Mom clothes because it is my favorite part of my identity. Here are all the fun Dog Mom things I found!

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Blog + Dog

Happy 4th Birthday, Beau!!!

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She wanted the cake like NOW.
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Beau could not wait to eat her birthday cake. | Beach Days Hat | Good Vibes Shirt | Jean Shorts

When you rescue a dog, you never really know how old they are or when their birthday is. Beau was about a year and a half when I adopted her, so we decided to choose a day for her birthday because everyone deserves a birthday. May is my birthday month as well as many other people I love dearly. She was most likely born in 2015. I have a thing for numbers with a pattern, so I picked the 15th as her birthday. 5.15.15 is her birthday!

Today is Beau’s fourth birthday! I love celebrating people’s birthdays and that extends to my very favorite breathing entity: my dog.

Yesterday, I snagged a cake from Three Dog Bakery in Rice Village. It’s even customized with her name on it. Beau loves yummies, and Three Dog Bakery makes healthy and dog friendly treats. Peanut butter is a favorite flavor, so that’s what she got in the shape of a bone. I also picked out other dog treats because it’s not a birthday without presents.

Beau and I laid in bed for a good bit this morning getting our cuddle on. She didn’t know what the afternoon would bring, but it was definitely a celebration of her life. She loves the ocean. I love the ocean. We love the ocean. Luckily, Galveston is an hour away. Beau was very nervous as I packed clothes and food and blankets. I even wrangled up birthday balloons in her favorite color. Yes, she has favorite colors: hot pink and teal.

We were at the beach by three. She got to spend the afternoon running after birds, leaping in the waves, and chasing her favorite peoples. I even managed to get a few pictures before she chowed down on her cake. I would lie to you and say she only had a piece, but nah. She ate the whole cake in a matter of moments. I don’t think it even lasted two minutes. By five, Beau was exhausted. We spent another hour and a half just laying in the sun drying off enjoying the last bits of sunlight on her fourth birthday. Honestly, it’s the perfect way to spend a day. She had a blast, and now, she’s laying on my feet snoring. She may not know it’s her birthday, but I hope she felt extra special love today.

I couldn’t be happier to be this girl’s mama. She makes my heart happy and probably makes me a better human being.

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Lickin’ her lips after scarfing down the whole cake. | Hat | Shirt | Shorts |
Books, NonFiction

Life Will Be the Death of Me by Chelsea Handler

Worth a Read Yes
Length 256
Quick Review Chelsea Handler’s never been afraid of the truth. In her latest memoir, she sits with personal trauma in a way she has not before. Laugh out loud funny with a serious edge.

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Photo shoots with a dog are exhausting. Life Will Be the Death of Me by Chelsea Handler isn’t.

I love Chelsea Handler. I have read several of her books and watched her TV show fairly religiously. When I saw she had a new book coming out, I had to have it. Life Will Be the Death of Me is still laugh out loud funny, but she tackles her mental health in a serious way.

Chelsea Handler has made her living making people laugh. I think it’s easier to make people laugh in person than on the page, but I have always been giggling with my nose in her books. Life Will Be the Death of Me deals with death in a serious way. Her brother died when she was very young, and that experience changed her and her family forever. Throughout the book, she talks about her grieving process several decades after his death. She visits a psychiatrist, who helps her work through her issues.

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We can be cute. I had to hide a treat in my cleavage….

I love her writing style and voice in Life Will Be the Death of Me. She’s one of those people whose voice shines through anything she touches. It’s probably one of the reasons she is so successful. I think for the first time in her books – I have not read all of them, don’t quote me – she spends more time being serious than being funny. Her honesty and self reflection are brilliant.  

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She’s not eating the apple. Treat in my hand. She’s eating my hand.

My two favorite parts of Handler’s memoir are this quote: “How can it be that a swab of saliva can determine a dog’s genetic heritage yet there isn’t a more precise way to determine the age of a dog at this juncture in modern society?” We are both rescue dog moms. As the proud mama of a rescue dog, I identify this on a very deep level. I wish I knew the age of my dog, but I do not. Also one running theme throughout Life Will be the Death of Me is her anger towards Trump. There is a lot, a LOT of anger being funneled in his direction, and I love it. I personally think almost all evil is his fault, at this point in time. Darth Cheeto sucks donkey balls.

If you want some laughs and some insight. I say check out Chelsea Handler’s latest book Life Will Be the Death of Me. If nothing else, you’ll giggle a few times, and there are really cute pictures of her dogs and family.

Memorable Quotes
“Having an older brother is a lot like a crush – in fact, it is a crush.”
“No person is just one thing.”

Buy on Amazon | Buy on Book Depository
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Title: Life Will Be the Death of Me
Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Spiegel & Grau
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9780525511779

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What a winner. Dog butt.
Blog + Dog

The Struggle

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I’m just here. Holding fruit. Being stepped on. By my dog.
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Beau and I playing tug-of-war with treats.
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Me in my wellies, jammies, and sweater trying to get Beau to pose.
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Beau running away in her sweater and hat/leg warmer set.

The struggle is so real.

Have you ever tried to take a picture with a dog?

I think I’m probably a lot dumber than I think I am because I keep trying to take picture with Beau. She’s drop dead cute. You can look at me without triggering your gag reflex. Getting us both cooperate at the same time is a little like trying to put a cloud in a bottle. I firmly believe Beau is the smartest and most beautiful being to ever grace this world, which is why I like sharing her through my weekly Blog + Dog posts. She makes cameos in my other posts and pictures with frequency because the light of my life must shine.

Beau can be as uncooperative as she is smart. The key to taking great pictures is taking a megabajillion. Out of the megabajillion, I usually end up with one-ish great one. The others are hilarious, but not what I had in mind. Every single time I try for a picture, I’m always far more optimistic than realistic. THIS time, it will be perfect. Spoiler alert. It’s not. I can honestly tell you, I have never gotten THE picture originally imagined. I don’t know how photographers do it. They are magicians.

Hilariously, Beau hates having her picture taken or being recorded. I can strategically place my phone to record her or take a picture while looking the other way. The moment she realizes it’s there and looking at her, she stops. She’s like a shy little kid who was born to be an actor but hates being watched. I’m relieved that she is no longer terrified of my camera. When I first bought my Nikon, Beau growled and barked at it the moment it came out of the case. She does not trust it, but she will at least be in the same room with it.

A multitude of strategically placed treats are my go to. I will hide them in my hand, under my leg, in a bowl, between pages, anywhere remotely plausible. Beau loves treats. Every picture with her in it – except the ones where we’re sleeping – I have treats hidden. I am not adverse to bribery, obviously. It works. Kind of well. I get cute pictures. She gets the nom noms. I can post dogtastic pictures for dog-lovers to adore. Win-win-win.

I’m a major perfectionist. I have had to let that go when Beau is in the photoshoot. Otherwise, I would spend hours not getting the picture I had in mind. Dog photos are pretty much an experiment in winging it with treats.  

xoxo,
Beau + RaeAnna

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Blog + Dog

Late Night Dog Walks

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Trying not to get drug around in my professional pajamas, cozy man sweater, and red wellies.

Growing up, I had a fenced in backyard, so letting the dogs out to go potty was easy any time of day. Living in an apartment, it’s not quite so easy. I actually have to put on pants and leave my comfy home to take Beau potty. The responsible dog mama that I am, I take her out first thing in the morning and right before we crawl into bed at night. (Also a few other times throughout the day; I’m not a monster.)

Potty breaks first thing in the morning and last thing at night are inconvenient. I look more of a mess than I usually do, which is saying something because working from home does not inspire great fashion choices. I have come to mildly enjoy the inconvenience of our late night dog walks. It is usually very late in the evening, so everyone is asleep. I like walking around in the peace and quiet. I even break the rules and let Beau run off the leash when I’m absolutely sure no one else is around. She’s my runner. She loves the freedom to chase leaves and be free. I may mildly enjoy the walks, but Beau loves the walks.

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Posing like the fashion icon I am in my red wellies.

Luckily Beau does not care how fashionable I am. I am the absolute least attractive dog walker in my apartment complex. In light of this, I have documented a few late night walk outfits because I look insane. Comfortable but a nut job. I have to wear whole shoes because I’ve been stung by scorpions on more than one occasion. I recently became the proud owner of Hunter wellies, and they are my go to. If I get stung by a scorpion in those suckers, I’m cursed. On the chillier nights I wear my flannel puppy pajamas. Obviously, they are the best jammies ever. I couldn’t find the exact pair, so I linked something equally puppy-rific (shorts, top). On warmer nights, I’m in my professional jammies. Red wellies always. I almost always wear an over-sized men’s sweater because comfy and warm. Surprisingly, I have been on the receiving end of many compliments in my hot mess outfits.

Here’s the thing. Being a dog mom isn’t all about cuddles and cuteness. It’s a lot of inconvenience. Late night dog walks kind of suck. Picking up dog poop definitely sucks. It’s all worth it because I get the unconditional love of my sweet Beau.
xoxo,
Beau + RaeAnna

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Picking up dog shit sucks. But you gotta do it. I use bags made out of quinoa because it’s good for the environment. I’m a bougie bitch.