In My Own Words, Lifestyle

COVID Came For Us; We Almost Didn’t Make It

Getting my first Pfizer vaccination.
Getting my second Pfizer vaccine.

It’s been four months almost to the day since we found out we had COVID. By we, I mean Dylan and I. 

Over the last four months, I have been silent. I haven’t publicly spoken or written about our COVID experience at the beginning of this year. There has been so much guilt in my heart and soul about having COVID. I am still struggling with that guilt, but as a writer, I can’t stay silent not while this pandemic rages on. I feel shame over having COVID. Like I need to keep it a secret and not talk about it, but I’m not an ostrich. My head does not belong in the sand, and I’ve never been one to shy away from telling the truths, my truths before.  People are still complaining about wearing masks, fighting the harsh reality, saying it’s a conspiracy, claiming the vaccine is dangerous. 

I am an immunocompromised human. Dylan is a disabled veteran. We were quarantining for our own health and the health of all humans. In our home, we believe in science and the reality of this pandemic. 

Since the announcement of quarantine over a year ago, we have been social distancing like absolute champs. We stayed the fuck home. I stopped traveling. We started having our groceries delivered. We didn’t go out to eat. We hardly saw friends or left the house, except when completely necessary. We have worn masks and stayed away. We’ve sanitized and cleaned. 

So many people did not believe in the seriousness of COVID until if affected them personally. We did not need to be affected personally to know the severity of COVID. Though we did have several friends who contracted it and recovered. They were fortunate to have uncomfortable but manageable symptoms. 

We did everything we could to stay safe, but COVID came for us. 

COVID still invaded our home, and we were met with the full force of it. Dylan and I had been so extremely careful, and yet it entered our home and almost took his life—and mine, but I’m ignoring the severity of my own situation. There’s nothing more, really, we could have done to prevent getting COVID, but I’m still struggling with guilt over contracting it. I have talked about it so infrequently that very few people in my personal life even knew about it at the time or even now. We didn’t advertise it. We were more concerned about surviving it because we both had fairly extreme cases. Only our very closest friends and family knew what we were going through.

On December 26, 2020, Dylan went to Chicago to visit his family. By December 28, he was admitted to the hospital with a positive COVID test and pneumonia. He didn’t have enough breath to call and tell me himself, so I found out over the phone from his mom once he’d been admitted. It was devastating. My partner of the last five years was in the hospital on the other side of the country fighting for his life, and I couldn’t do a thing about it. 

Blake, one of the closest people in my life, had come over to spend time with me and hang out with the dogs while Dylan was gone. He was there when I got the phone call. I felt horrible because I had put him in danger without meaning to. We went for COVID tests the next day. I had a sickening feeling that I would absolutely be positive for it because I had developed a bad cough the day before. On New Year’s Eve, I found out I had COVID and Blake did not. We knew it would be two weeks of quarantine before Dylan could even think about coming home, before I could leave the house, before Blake could leave the house. We were trapped in a new way. I was trapped sick in my house with someone I loved. I was trapped by fear that the one person I depended on to be okay might not survive. 

Everyday, I struggled to breathe. My oxygen levels kept getting lower and lower and lower, yet I refused to go to the hospital because of the dogs. Blake is probably the only reason I did not die, but it was not good. (Don’t do what I do, kids. Go to the doctor.) 

Everyday, I waited for texts from Dylan to know he was okay, he was still alive, he was still breathing on his own. 

Everyday, I hoped to hear news that Dylan was responding well to treatment and could go home soon to finish his recovery.

Every few days, I heard from his nurses or doctors to find out how he was doing. The news was hopeful but never good. 

He ended up staying in the hospital for almost three weeks. When he was finally released, he had to stay in Chicago for almost three more weeks, two of which he was dependent on oxygen. He visited specialists repeatedly, waiting on the all clear to come home. Dylan was all alone on the other side of the country with his family and doctors, but I worried constantly. I was at home with Blake, who did everything from cook to clean to take care of the dogs to helping me get dressed to checking on me in the middle of the night. 

By the time Dylan came home, he had been gone for almost six weeks. He was better but not back to normal. I had not been completely honest with him about my own health because I did not want him to worry as he fought for his life. He was shocked by how sick I still was, but we made it through. We spent the next two months slowly working back into normalcy. 

If we’re being honest, and I am, we are both still on the mend. Neither of us have full lung functionality. We still get tired and winded much easier than we used to. We are both grateful to be alive, to have survived. 

Dylan and I are both completely vaccinated. The moment we were allowed to, we signed up. He had Moderna. I had Pfizer. He reacted with a sore arm and slight aches and pains. My reaction was slightly bigger with a sore arm, aches, pains, and a low-grade temperature. The second dose was easier for me than the first. 

I was vaccinated through UTMB Health at their outdoor League City location. I signed up through their website: https://www.utmb.edu/covid-19/vaccine/ back in February. It took me a week and a half to get an appointment. Now that vaccinatio are open to everyone, I’m sure it looks a little different as far as the sign up process. I arrived at the site. I never once had to get in my car. It took about half an hour to snake through the park, sign in, read the information, and get my vaccination. I then proceeded to the parking lot, where I waited fifteen minutes to make sure I didn’t have any reaction. I was on my way. This was the process for my first dose and three weeks later for my second dose.

Dylan was vaccinated through Harris County in Waller at their outdoor location. His process was exactly the same with a shorter snake time because it was a smaller site, serving less people. It was fast and easy.

We are vaccinated. We still stay home more than we did in the before times. We wear masks when we go out. We sit outdoors when we go to restaurants. We believe in science. We believe in COVID. We believe in vaccines. We believe in doing our part. This isn’t over, but we have and will do whatever we can to make COVID a part of history. 

11..., Lifestyle

11… Things I’ve Missed Over the Last Three and A Half Months

Enjoying downtown Houston last summer when I had significantly less dogs and far more time and no COVID in my life. | Dress | Watch | Earrings |

The last three and a half months have been crazy chaotic for everyone around the world. You’ve probably noticed the hoard of puppies in my Instagram stories or the pictures or the posts I’ve managed to produce. COVID and quarantine have definitely had a serious impact on my life, but the puppies have had a far bigger impact. Working from home, my quotidien life didn’t change drastically because of quarantine, but it did change because of the swarm, which is what we came to call the thirteen puppies. I love them, but I have missed out on a whole lot of things because of them. 1000% worth it, though. 

  1. Sleep. I have missed sleep. What is it? I don’t even know anymore. They are sleeping through the night, so I’m getting more than two non-consecutive hours now. I am playing catch up. 
  2. Beau. Because I was living at my best friend’s house and then in Iowa, I went two months without seeing Beau. It hurt my heart, and I know it hurt her feelings because I disappeared with a gazillion dogs for EVER. Luckily, I’ve been back in Houston for two weeks, and Beau and I have been snuggling like crazy trying to catch up.
  3. Going Out. Even if COVID hadn’t shut down the world, I wouldn’t have been able to go out and enjoy the world. I feel like I’ve been so detached from everything because the puppies have kept me occupied and preoccupied. 
  4. Showers. I haven’t had tons and tons of time for showers, and even if I did, I’m not completely sure how useful they would be. The moment I get out of the shower, I tend to find poop or pee or throw up or most usually a combination of all three. It’s hard to convince myself to shower when I’m just going to be gross ten minutes later. Might as well stay gross.
  5. Reading. I have not had time to read because my time is spoken for. I’m about a gazillion books behind schedule. Woops.
  6. Looking Like A Human. I’m certain I look like an exhausted, chubby alien version of myself. Eating well went right out the window because I haven’t had the time to cook, let alone grocery shop. I’ve definitely put on some softer edges and some wrinkles. 
  7. Water. Honestly. I’m so dehydrated. I keep forgetting to drink water because… Well, I’m not good at it to begin with, so when I’m uber busy, hydration just doesn’t happen.
  8. Knowing What’s Going On. Whether it be what’s going on in the world or what’s going on with my best friend, I honestly have no fucking idea. I’m not even on social media right now. This is the first blog post in a month! I found out about George Floyd because my best friend texted me (I did take time out to protest because that is FUCKING IMPORTANT, and social justice is a huge part of …on the B.L., so I can’t not march.) I love my friends, but seriously, I hardly talk to them. 
  9. Money. I’ve been spending it like it grows on trees because these puppies have been ridiculously expensive because the number of them and they’ve also had some super fun rare medical problems, but they’re healthy now. Also I’ve not had much money coming in because COVID has slowed everything down. I so poor. 
  10. …on the B.L. Hello. I haven’t written or posted anything in weeks and weeks. It’s hard to motivate myself to do anything with the very little free time I have when I’m exhausted. So here I am, finally posting something. Woo!
  11. Houston. I’ve missed Houston. I was gone for a month, but even when I’ve been here I can’t even enjoy the outdoorsy things this great city has to offer because I’ve been momming it up. Oh well. Maybe soon. 

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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11..., Lifestyle

11… Ways COVID-19 Has Affected My Life

This is not a complaining post. In comparison to so many people around the world, the pandemic and quarantine has gone very well for me and my family. That being said, we have been affected in some highly significant ways. It has been difficult, but we’re staying optimistic, and I’m surrounded by my quaranteam aka thirteen puppies and their mama. 

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Dad and I giving the puppies attention in Ames, Iowa.

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Getting my puppy love on!

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  1. I’m homeless. A very long story will come about this because I truly have no idea what is going to happen right now. 
  2. The puppies, Tess, and I are living with my parents in Iowa for the near future because we have nowhere else to go. 
  3. I went six weeks without making a single penny. When it comes to spending money, people don’t like to hire writers/creatives during financially problematic times. (Luckily, it’s slowly – very – starting to come back.)
  4. Like millions of others across the country and around the world, my boyfriend lost his job.
  5. Having a sick rescue and a litter of puppies means lots and lots of visits to the vet. I have not been able to go into the vet appointments with them since their first week check… two and a half months ago. It’s harder on Tess than the puppies because she gets so scared I’m going to leave her every time she is dropped off. It’s been very hard on her anxiety.
  6. Beau is gaining weight and getting irritable because she can’t go to the dog park.
  7. I wasn’t able to watch my best friend or little sister graduate from their Master’s program and Bachelor’s degree respectively. It breaks my heart for them and me; I can’t be their obnoxious cheerleader in the crowd screaming their name as they walk across the stage even though we’re not supposed to. 
  8. I haven’t been able to see Beau regularly in a long time because she’s staying with her dad so I have one less thing on my plate. I miss her dearly, and I think she is mad at me for leaving her.
  9. The blog and the Instagram are being neglected because finding content creation inspiration is hard when I’m stuck at home constantly… My home isn’t that cute! I need some pictures for this damnit!!!
  10. I was stuck in the car for 974 miles with thirteen puppies and a grown dog. That translates to a fifteen hour car ride, which was extended to twenty-one hours because dogs…. It was far more disgusting than you’re even imagining. Horrible. I will have to do it again, and I’m dreading it. 
  11. Last but not least, a positive: I have read so many books! So there’s been a positive impact on my reading list.

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

11..., Lifestyle

11… Reasons Amanda is Amazing and Perfection

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Posing with the puppies in Amanda’s backyard in our matching Bee Kind shirts. | Floral Shorts |

I met Amanda because of my blog. She is a florist and business owner — of Amanda Bee’s Floral Design, the best florist in town and probably the country — in Houston. Almost two years ago, she reached out to me because she wanted to do a collaboration. A few days after corresponding by email, she showed up on my doorstep with a big bouquet of flowers. We chatted for five minutes, and in that time frame, she said “We’re going to be friends.” I found out she only lived eight minutes away from me, a happy coincidence. A week later, we went out for lunch. That evening, I ended up in an alley, changing into wedding dresses for a really fun photo shoot to showcase her floral designs.
We’ve been inseparable ever since.
Amanda has become more than a friend over the last two years; she’s family. We’ve spent holidays together, gone on vacation, hosted game nights, baked, learned from each other, helped, vented, met each other’s families, and a plethora of other very weird and oddly specific things. We have made her husband and my boyfriend become friends because they don’t have any other option. She is Beau’s godmother and has done innumerable things to help take care of Beau when I’ve been out of town or just need a backyard to get the zoomies out.
Houston would not be the place it is without her. I have come to depend on her in so many ways. She even helped bring the puppies into this world because I was unable to. I am a better person because she is in my life. We can adventure together or sit on the couch and do nothing together.
I have started referring to Amanda as my personal Patron Saint. She shows up even when I don’t know I need her. She stayed with Tess while we were waiting for the puppies to arrive. Not only did she help bring all thirteen puppies into the world, she has opened up her home to all of us.
I live in an apartment. The apartment has a two pets per home policy… I am, currently, thirteen over that limit. My parents offered to let me, Tess, and all the puppies stay with them in Iowa. The problem: That’s a sixteen hour drive (nonstop) with THIRTEEN very, very, very young puppies. Oh, and I’d have to drive them all those sixteen hours back to Houston. Amanda and Andrew, her husband, opened up their home to me, Tess, and the puppies. She cleared out an entire room for the puppies to stay in and one for me. It’s not even for a short amount of time. We’re here for a LONG time during a pandemic and quarantine. I can’t imagine how inconvenient it is to have fourteen dogs and an extra person around 24/7. They offered without hesitation or provocation. They have been an absolute blessing. I truly do not know what I would do without their kindness. It’s an immense gift they’ve given me, and I will be baking them yum-yums forever and in the after life.
Anyways. Here are eleven reasons Amanda is one of my closest friends and an incredible human being.

  1. She always shows up with a smile and a helping hand.
  2. Flowers. So many flowers. Having a florist friend is amazing, and she’s so talented.
  3. Her sense of humor is perfectly matched to my own. We’re always laughing.
  4. She loves board games as much as I do. Maybe more.
  5. We can adventure together.
  6. She’s smart. So, so smart. She has Bachelor of Arts in Horticulture with an emphasis in Floral Design and Event Planning and a Minor in Entomology. (She will kill all the bugs for me and plant my garden. No joke. It happens.) She has a wealth of knowledge on the natural world. It’s so fun listening to her talk about her job and gardening and plants and even bugs. If I want to know what a flower or plant is, I send her a picture, and she texts me the answer within seconds. She has taught me about slugs and butterflies and lots of other things I’ve blocked out of my bug-hating mind. I have my very own natural dictionary.
  7. It drives me bonkers how humble she is. She is absolutely incredible, smart, fascinating, and more, but she has no idea!
  8. Her sense of style and aesthetic is incredible. Honestly, I want to show everyone her house, and I have brought many people over. I always want to show people how amazing she is and what she can do; her house is such a pure reflection of everything she is.
  9. Kindness is at the heart of everything she does. There are few people who possess a similar depth of kindness, altruism, and understanding. It’s unending and radiant. Being around Amanda is calming and invigorating because she makes you feel like you’re the most important person.
  10. You would be hard pressed to find a better cheerleader.
  11. She’s effortlessly cool in her own unique brand of unapologetically and perfectly weird.
  12. *Bonus* She’s proud of who she is and stands up for what she believes in. I may not agree with all of her beliefs, but I respect her, which is far more important and much harder to earn.

I could write a much longer list than eleven (twelve) things about all the reasons Amanda is wonderful. I think it’s impossible for anyone to dislike her, but I might be biased, and if you do dislike her, what did you do to deserve her wrath?
Even if this blog disappeared tomorrow, I would be forever grateful it brought us together. She was a blessing two years ago and has continued to be one every day, ever since. I don’t know if it was luck or fate, but whatever it was, I feel lucky she knocked on my door and told me we would be friends.
I am proud to call her a friend. I am honored to call her family.

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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11..., Lifestyle

11… Coronavirus Quarantine Activities

Oh 2020… You have not begun the way I was hoping. Coronavirus has hit the world in pandemic proportions. With social distancing and quarantining being the thing to do, I figured I would share some wisdom when you’re stuck at home. 

My life has changed very little because of quarantining and social distancing. Working from home, being an extreme introvert, and having a very tiny social life means I don’t leave the house all that much. I have become quite the connoisseur of staying in. I’m quite the indoorsy lady. Beau misses the dog park, but she doesn’t mind the extra cuddles I’m able to give her because of my sluggish work schedule.

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Posing with my quaranteam! | Sweatshirt | Yoga Pants | Chair | Ottoman | Blanket |

  1. Read a book. This requires nothing but a cup of tea and a book. Dog cuddles make the activity even better. 
  2. Play board games. My personal favorite is Scrabble; it’s good for the brain; it’s good for the competitive spirit; it’s good fun.
  3. Have sex or masterbate. Whatever. Enjoy your significant other or yourself. You deserve it.
  4. Binge watch a cooking show. Find something ridiculous you want to try. Then try and make it. I suggest the Great British Bake Off. I have made several pastries in varying degrees of success. 
  5. Declutter. This is boring, but it will make you feel absolutely amazing when it’s all done. You also get bragging rights about not wasting your quarantine and being a badass. 
  6. Take up yoga/pilates/zumba/working out. I won’t do this, but I know some people have. It’s a good way to get flexible since we’re being forced to be flexible with our schedules.
  7. Download Duolingo and learn a language. Try Gaelic or Welsh or Vulcan. It could be fun and funny to show off your Elvish skills when you can go to bars again. 
  8. Watch those movies you’ve been wanting to watch but have never had the time to watch. Seriously. Dedicate a two day spree to watching those movies. We all have a list of them on Amazon, Netflix, Hulu, Vudu, or all of those. You know you want to. 
  9. Cuddle your dog. If you don’t have a dog, adopt a dog!
  10. Call the people you’ve been meaning to call or text them or even write a letter. They’re great; you miss them; reach out. I do love sending a good letter, but I’m a weirdo. I think we should bring letter writing back, though.
  11. Have a photoshoot. For real. Grab those clothes you LOVE but never have a chance or reason to wear. Head out with a friend or a tripod somewhere cute and take pictures. You deserve it. Plus you’ll have something cute to remember this disaster of a time. 

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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