Blog + Dog, In My Own Words, Lifestyle

Happy First Birthday From Your First Human Mama

A family picture of all thirteen babies and their two mamas at three weeks old!

Happy Birthday Siren, Vienna, Knight, Marcus, Duke, Joey, Hera, Lucy, Makeda, Sadie, Teena, Murphy, and Bear! Being your first human mama was the most rewarding challenge I have ever been crazy enough to dive into. 

After bringing home a very pregnant, street dog on February 26, 2020, Tessa went into labor five days later on March 2. Which means, a year ago, thirteen puppies were born in an epically long labor that lasted 38.5 hours with seventeen hours and one minute between the first and last born. Every single one of the thirteen is healthy, happy, and living their best life today.

What a year it has been. 

I was a bit protective of my babies. I didn’t want them to go to their furever homes ever, but that was not an option—I couldn’t afford fifteen dogs, nor did I have the space. I sent them to their wonderful furever homes at three months old because I was able to ensure they were vaccinated, were well socialized, avoided the critical time when they could develop neurosis and fears, learned ample skills from their mama, and I was able to catch and solve some health issues. Puppies are adorable, and I loved every single second of my time with them, but those first three months was a massive struggle in every way. I look back and wonder how I did it. The answer: love and support from my closest friends and family. Neither I nor the puppies would have made it through without those heroes in our lives. Having thirteen puppies and a brand new mama dog was taxing in more ways than I can even describe, but I won’t even try because this is a birthday celebration. 

What was even harder than getting through those three months: Watching them go to their new homes. I felt so empty when they were gone. (Even though I still had four puppies, Tessa, and Beau, pieces of my heart were missing.) Knowing each puppy was in the very best home for them made it much easier to say goodbye. Every single parent sends me updates, so I have gotten to watch them grow, becoming more themselves in the comfort of a loving home. I was the puppy matchmaker; I gave the puppy to the perfect home for them and a puppy suited to the home each family could provide. Some of the puppy parents have become good friends or were already good friends. Several have stayed for a night or a few when their parents go on vacation or work trips. Puppy play dates happen. They may not be my babies anymore, but they are still in my life. I am so blessed to have found so many wonderful homes for my amazing puppies. 

From left top clockwise: Knight, Duke, Makeda, and Bear. The four babies who are mine forever.

Every day, all day for three months, I was surrounded by thirteen puppies and Tessa. Three months is a short amount of time, but it is a lifetime when you’re watching beings evolve and grow and become themselves. Each one had a unique personality from the moment they were born. Being around them brought me so much joy and filled my heart with love. I was so completely in love with each one. It was impossible to name a favorite, and to this day, the ones I kept are here because a) I wanted to make sure they received the medical care they needed b) their personalities were best suited to Beau and Tessa. I didn’t keep my favorite puppies because I didn’t have any. They were all perfect and still are. 

The fact it has been one year since they were born… Is shocking. Where has the time gone? I have watched my four grow into these amazing dogs with huge, unique personalities and needs. Life has been busy and complicated and stressful at times, but I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for my dogs. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for my four puppies and the nine others. My heart is theirs. For now and forever. 

A year ago, I was given a beautiful opportunity to give fourteen dogs a chance at life, and they are making the most of those lives every day. 

Before they went to their furever homes, I took pictures with each of them. They gave me hope and happiness during an incredibly difficult pandemic. There’s no way I wouldn’t remember each one, but I wanted something beautiful to look at as the years fade the memories. I want to share them with you and a little bit about each one. 

Siren, the first born.

Siren was born on March 3, 2020 at 3:45 pm, weighing 8.75 ounces. He was adorable and such a sweetheart. He loved to howl and let out an incredibly high pitched noise anytime he wasn’t playing. Rough housing was his favorite activity but I could always count on big kisses from him. He kept his name Siren and lives in Houston.

(March) Vienna gave the best kisses!

March was born on March 3, 2020 at 4:50 pm, weighing 11.3 ounces. Named for the March sisters in Little Women. She has a goofy dew claw with two nails. She was always up to play but never dove right into the middle of the pack. Cuddling was just as much appreciated as play. Her daddy claimed her right away and named her Vienna—after the sausages because they looked like fuzzy, brown sausages. She lives in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. 

Lucky enough to call Knight mine forever.

Knight was born on March 3, 2020 at 5:35 pm, weighing the least at 7.5 ounces. He gave me so much anxiety from the start because he was so little and refused to gain weight. Sass has never been something he lacks. He still suffers from little man syndrome and hates being pushed around even though he is the second biggest in my house and in the litter. I kept him because we bonded over the ten daily feedings we had, his autoimmune disorder, and his deformed front legs. He still has the name Knight, but I pronounce it phonetically, to his father’s dismay. K-Nig-Hit is cuddly beyond belief. 

(Hardy) Marcus has been using his soulful eyes since day one.

Hardy was born on March 3, 2020 at 7:15 pm, weighing 7.62 ounces. Named for one of my favorite authors, Thomas Hardy. I’ve never seen such soulful eyes, and he uses them often on his dad. He was equal parts rowdy and lazy. He was always one of the first to curl up in my lap or behind my back. He always had such long legs; there’s no doubt he could be a supermodel. Instead he’s assumed the name Marcus (as in Aurelius) and lives in the lap of luxury in Houston with his dad. Doggy daycare is his jam. 

Derpy Duke was never meant to stay, but stay he did, and I couldn’t be happier.

Duke was born March 3, 2020 at 9:00pm, weighing 9.21 ounces. He was a big derpy goofball from the moment he was born. Chewing has been his favorite thing since they got teething toys at two weeks old. To this day, he has a toy or shoe (yikes) in his mouth. If there is a free lap or hand he will claim it. If there’s no free lap or hand, he will still claim it. At eight months old, he had dental surgery to correct his severe overbite, which gives him the derpiest smile on earth. He’s my forever baby. It was a happy accident.

(Nosky) Joey was an adorably cuddly handful.

Nosky was born on March 3, 2020 at 9:05 pm, weighing 8.57 ounces. He has four white paws, so I named him “socks” in Russian. He had, and still does, a predilection for starting squabbles. He loved to antagonize and then walk away. It was irritating and funny; I’m certain he enjoyed his practical jokes. I was incredibly stressed out at eight weeks because he developed a joint problem, luckily his forever mama is on top of it. He’s living the best life and is incredibly spoiled. He is now named after Joey from friends and lives in Pearland, Texas. 

Hera’s looking away from the camera as I get kisses from her forever sister!

Hera was born on March 3, 2020 at 9:55 pm, weighing 10.12 ounces. She was the first to crawl into a lap. She could never get enough of those cuddles, although she was happy to get her play on whenever a tussle started. She was quiet, sweet, and an all around easy puppy. Today, she still goes by Hera and lives in Ames, Iowa with my parents, so she’s got a pretty cushy life with her sister, Teena and brother, Barney. 

(Boudica) Lucy has the cutest dots on her nose!

Boudica was born on March 3, 2020 at 11:13 pm, weighing 10.2 ounces. Named for Boudica the 60 ad Iceni queen. From the very start, she didn’t live up to the warrior queen she was named for. She stayed far away from any romp, preferring cuddles to literally anything else. She was skittish and shy, which only made me love her more. With adorable dots on her nose, she is gorgeous, perfect, and ridiculously easy to take a nap with. Her new name is Lucy, and she lives with her feline sister, Juniper, in Lincoln, Nebraska.

(Star) Makeda is still joy incarnate.

Star was born on March 4, 2020 at 12:10 am, weighing 9.63 ounces. She was hoppy, happy, and ready to love on anyone from the moment she was born. It became evident very early on that we would keep her because she had enough energy to keep up with Beau. I started referring to her as “Joy Incarnate” at three weeks old because she always has been. I renamed her because I wanted a more unique name, so she’s gone by Makeda—an Ethiopian warrior queen—since she was three weeks old. She’s shy yet rambunctious, playful yet cuddly, happy yet reserved. She’s a dichotomy, and I fall in love with her more every day.  

(Lily-May) Sadie has resting sad face.

Lily-May was born on March 4, 2020 at 1: 20 am, weighing 10.48 ounces. Named for Lily Bart in House of Mirth and May Whelan in The Age of Innocence both by Edith Wharton. Shy yet ridiculously lovable, she was always excited about everything once she felt safe. It was impossible to stay away from her because she followed me everywhere any chance she got. Today, she goes by Sadie and lives in Houston with her rescue dog brother, Cooper. 

It’s (Athena) Teena’s turn to look-ish at the camera.

Athena was born on March 4, 2020 at 5:20 am, weighing 10.26 ounces. She was sweet but always a little funny. She wanted to cuddle but not that much. She wanted to play but not too much. She was curious but super cautious. She would frighten incredibly easily. She had such a soft coat, I loved burying my face in her neck and covering her with kisses. My dad has a knack for giving funny nicknames. He started calling her Teena, and it stuck. Today, she lives with my parents in Ames, Iowa with her sister, Hera, and their rescue dog Barney. 

I never knew what (Oryol) Murphy’s ears would do from one day to the next.

Oryol was born on March 4, 2020 at 6:08 am, weighing 11.99 ounces. Named after Ivan Turgenev’s hometown in Russia. He was a chonk from the start and all about the cuddles. I was obsessed with his ears; they never knew what they were doing and changed day to day. He was so laid back that he earned the nickname “Stoner Puppy.” He loved playing, cuddles, and diving face first into food: the messier the better. He hated bathtime, though. For such a lazy puppy, he popped right to life the moment I tried to bathe him. I hope for his mama’s sake, he’s gotten better with age on that front. He lives in Houston, Texas with his mom and goes by the name Murphy. 

Bear is much, much, much bigger now.

Bear was born on March 4, 2020 at 8:46 am, weighing 12.1 ounces. Last but definitely not least, Bear is unforgettable. He was the last, the largest, and the most headstrong of the bunch. Where there was a will, Bear would find his way. He was a cuddly challenge from day one, but he’s impossible not to love even when he was causing me a great deal of frustration. His dad fell in love with him, and he ended up staying in my personal pack. I wish I could say he’s gotten easier, but all I can say is: he’s gotten bigger! He lived up to the name Bear and weighs about 100 pounds with the biggest head he could muster. Luckily, he’s more lovable than he is frustrating. 

Happy Birthday my babies! I can’t believe you’re all a year old. I can’t believe I survived. I really can’t believe I’m the mama to four of you. To my other nine babies: I miss you all every single day, think of you often, scroll through the thousands of pictures I took, and talk about you endlessly. I am beyond lucky to have watched you grow into the puppies you were, and I am even more blessed to be able to watch you all grow into the dogs you are becoming. One year down forever to go!

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna (Your First Human Mama)

11..., Lifestyle

11… Devastating Things About Raising Puppies

I have loved raising the puppies. From the moment I brought Tess home at the end of February, I knew my heart was going to break. Having had a litter when I was fourteen, I had an understanding of the difficulties lying ahead of me. It’s different because there were “only” ten puppies in that litter. Thirteen… that’s another story entirely. As an adult, though, it’s different; it’s harder. Being financially, physically, and emotionally responsible for the first three months of thirteen little puppy lives has been beyond hard. As much as other people have been around, I have almost completely been the sole caretaker. It’s one of the most taxing experiences of my entire life. It’s different than taking care of babies; in a lot of ways, it’s harder. The difference: it’s only for a few months.   

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Getting cuddles in before she goes. | Dress | Shirt 

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Boudica playing in the backyard before she went to her furever home.

  1. Boudica went to her furever home on Saturday. She’s the first to leave the litter. She needed to go to her family. She is so shy and timid, her brothers and sisters were overwhelming her, and she couldn’t grow into the explorative, happy puppy I know she will be given the space and patience she has found with her family. It is heartbreaking letting her go, but she couldn’t have found a better fit for her sweet soul. She has a huge back yard and will go on so many camping trips. My heart hurts without her, but it’s easier knowing she’s in the best place for her. 
  2. Health problems have been plaguing this journey. Puppy Strangles was one of the most terrifying experiences. Walking in after letting the two-week old puppies have an hour nap to find one struggling to breath through a swollen face and hard neck dropped my stomach. Two more had it within the hour. We didn’t know what it was; luckily, we went to the ER, and they were able to get the help they desperately needed. It was five weeks of antibiotics and steroids to make sure they would be healthy and happy the rest of their lives. They’re perfect, and you’d never know we almost lost Oryol, Athena, and Knight. Noski has a degenerative joint problem; it was so bad, I wasn’t sure he was going to make it because he couldn’t walk. He absolutely was not himself, and my heart broke watching him struggle to lift his head. Tess had a hotspot, which showed up overnight, leaving her with no hair and huge scabs around her neck. It looked like I had her collar on too tight for ages; I felt horrible. She was on steroids and anti-inflammatory medicine for weeks to get rid of it… The hair hasn’t grown back yet.  
  3. Tess has struggled. She has absolutely persevered and been a rock star mom… But there are THIRTEEN puppies and EIGHT functional nipples. The math does not work out in her favor or mine. They all want to be with her and love on her, and she’s exhausted and fed up with the swarm. It’s hard watching her do her very best by them. She’s torn between wanting to be with them and wanting to be alone. I wish I could do more for her.
  4. It’s hard giving all thirteen puppies the attention and socialization they need and deserve. I only have so many hands. My life is spent almost completely with them. If I’m not changing sheets, doing laundry, feeding them, or trying to get a little work done to pay for the vet bills, I’m with them outside, inside, wherever. I do everything I can to make sure they’re all loved on equally, but it’s hard.  
  5. A few puppies needed extra special loving because they were sick, small, or not getting enough food. As newborns, the puppies ate about every two hours on a rotating schedule because: not enough nipples. Tess couldn’t produce enough, and the little ones weren’t able to fight their way in. I had to supplement several puppies by pulling them out and letting them nurse without the competition. But that wasn’t enough, so I ended up bottle feeding them every two hours for four and a half weeks. It’s not conducive to sleep, but I’ll get to that. 
  6. My sleep cycle has been devastated. It wasn’t normal to begin with, but it was regular and perfect for me. I usually went to bed around 4:00 am… Now, I get up at 5:00 am. NOW, before I was getting maybe three hours of non-consecutive sleep a night. It was horrible. I’m getting around four and a half hours of sleep at once. It’s hard. I’ve always functioned tired because I’ve had to. I’m used to the feeling of complete exhaustion. The kind where there is a pit in your stomach that feels like hunger, but it’s literally my body hungering for sleep. I’ll get it in a few more weeks. 
  7. All this work, lack of sleep, and poor hydration is taking quite the toll on my skin. I’m looking a bit haggard. I’m a bit vain. I’m actively trying to prevent wrinkles and signs of aging because I’m a woman and society dictates it so because my worth becomes non-existent the moment I look three minutes older than 25… Kidding, kind of, probably not really. Anyways, I’m doing my best to treat my skin well, but all this not fabulous schedule and difficultness is really starting to show on my face. I HAVE FINE LINES. I need a facial. Stat!
  8. Having to choose sucks. I mean, it is horrible. Talk about a Sophie’s Choice – this is complete hyperbole; they are all going to absolutely the very best homes I could find. It was hard. We knew we wanted to keep three puppies. Actually, we weren’t going to keep any. Then it was one puppy. Then it was two puppies; Dylan’s pick and my pick. But Knight was really sick and small and deformed, and I put a LOT of time and money and energy into just keeping him alive, and no one deserves his goodness but me! So we decided to keep three puppies. Dylan pretty much immediately bonded with Bear, so that was his pick. I have spent just about every waking moment with them for the last ten weeks. I love each and every one of them with all my heart. I know them better than anyone else. I want to keep them all forever. How could I possibly choose? I couldn’t. I did, but I chose based on what the best fit for our family was. Bear is a scrappy cuddler; Tess is laid back; Knight wants nothing more than to cuddle. Beau needed someone who could run, run, run with her. I chose Makeda because they can run around for hours together. There were others who would’ve been better fits for me, but I wanted to make Beau happy. 
  9. The stress of everything has been tough. I can handle stress, but this is a lot. There have been things outside of the puppies causing stress like COVID and everything else life throws at us. The puppies are stressful, though. Trying to make sure they’re healthy, happy, socialized, and everything else is stressful. I have been on the verge of tears pretty much constantly for eight weeks. My teeth are loosening up a bit because of all the stress. I don’t remember the last time I showered because my brain has shut off. Speaking of my brain not working, words are hard. My speech has definitely struggled. 
  10. I’m not a particularly in shape or fit person. I do my best to avoid working out every way I can. That being said, I’m not that out of shape. Puppies grow quickly. At birth, they all easily fit in a cat bed. Now, one fits in that cat bed. All thirteen fit in a single laundry basket for their two week check up. At six weeks, only four fit in a laundry basket at a time. I used to be able to carry four in my arms. Now, I can manage two – as long as it’s not Bear. Carrying them all up and down the stairs, wrangling them, feeding them, trying not to step on them, and more has had quite the toll on my body. My back aches. My neck aches. My leg muscles are so tight. I’ve gained weight… Damnit stress. My arms and legs are covered in scratches and bruises; it looks like I didn’t survive the razor blade windmill in a horror movie. I have a hard time wearing shoes because the tops of my feet are so scratched. My fingers are covered in band-aids. I have to wear wrist support because they have reached their max. I hurt. I need a massage and a vacation. Probably some sleep.
  11. I can bear all of these things. It’s been hard and exhausting and lonely and expensive, and it’s completely worth it. The hardest thing has been knowing from the moment we decided to keep Tess is the knowing I would have to say goodbye to these perfect little beings I raised and loved with my whole heart. I have thoroughly vetted everyone getting a puppy. Furever families must sign contracts to guarantee they will be taken care of. Most are going to friends or family members, which means I’ll get to visit them and watch them grow up. Knowing they are going to wonderful homes that will love them for the rest of their lives makes it easier, but it’s heartbreaking. I’ve said goodbye to one already, but I have eight more goodbyes to come. It’s devastating but the best thing for them. 

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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In My Own Words, Lifestyle

A Stressed Christmas

I LOVE Christmas. I really love Christmas. 

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We’re partying it up in our house with beer (or a teacup that says whiskey with Dr. Pepper inside). | Beau’s sweater | Candy Cane Dress | Glasses | Ugly Sweater | PJ Pants | Socks | Santa Bag | Tree | Earrings |

The holidays are literally my happiest time of the year. I spend two months baking, listening to Christmas movies, wrapping presents, buying presents, making sure the house looks and smells festive. I want everyone who walks in the door to be hit in the face with good cheer and cookies. There’s nothing about the Christmas season I don’t love. That I can think of in this moment. It is absolutely enchanting to me, and it always has been. 

I’m friends with a lot of parents. Christmas is four days away, and so many of my parenting friends are over it. In a lot of ways, I DON’T GET IT!!! How can anyone not love the best time of year. In other ways, I totally get it. It’s the time of the year, where your house should look like a magazine all the time because friends and family are coming over. It should look and feel like Christmas. Bake some cookies. Clean. Buy a tree. Clean. Buy presents. Clean. Don’t forget any presents for anyone let alone your friend’s parent’s dog. Put up the tree. Decorate. Clean some more. Throw a party. Go to twelve parties. Make sure you have an ugly Christmas sweater. Clean that thing five more times because life happens and things get dirty. 

There is more pressure than any other time of year to be the perfect ‘50s family in a perfect Christmas house brimming with gingerbread cookies, eggnog, and candy canes in every nook and cranny they could even be up your butt. If you don’t know what I’m talking about: turn on the Hallmark channel for fifteen seconds. That’s it. Be that. Anything less than 127.9% happy at all times is not happy enough. If you can’t step in for seventeen of Santa’s elves, You.Are.Failing.Christmas. This is just if you’re breathing. If you’re breathing with kids, the bar is set higher. You have to make Christmas magic for the children and everyone else. 

I hate decorating, but I love when my home is decorated, so I suck it up for one day and get it done. Other than that, I love all the things about Christmas because I love having a showroom perfect house (totally anal retentive and OCD); I love listening to nothing but classic Christmas music; any excuse to bake is a good one in my book; I love showering people with presents; I love throwing parties and making sure everyone is 128% happy; I love having an excuse to radiate happiness and wish people well. I am a raging feminist. I am also very much of a Suzy Homemaker in so many ways. I love the Christmas season because it gives me an excuse to go full-RaeAnna on EVERYONE, and no one will think it’s weird for these two months. Christmas epitomizes me as a person, so it makes sense I love it. 

Not everyone does. That’s okay!!! I can only imagine how exhausting all of this would be to someone who is not so inclined. I can’t imagine the pressure parents feel to make Christmas perfect. So I’m going to do Christmas my way. I hope you do Christmas your way!!!!

Dylan and I decided to channel “So Over It” by stressed parents on Christmas Eve after the kids have FINALLY gone to sleep waiting for Santa for our Ugly Sweater picture. Even Beau got in on the fun with her ugly sweater. Mine’s not a sweater, but it’s a pretty atrocious dress.  

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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