11..., Lifestyle

11… Disappointing Things I Have Shoved In My Mouth

Bad Banana Bread is up there in disappointment factor. | Sweater | Sports Bra | Yoga Shorts | Glasses |

I’m sure Freud has something to say about that title. 

When we’re children, we stick everything in our mouths because that’s one way we learn. It’s also evolution’s way of weeding out the real dummies. Kidding. As adults, we are more fastidious about what we shove into our mouths. But there’s really only one way to know if you’ll like it or not: open up and let your tongue decide. 

  1. Bland Indian Food This deserves to be number one for a reason!!! (The rest are not in numerical order, but this one is.) Bland should never be an adjective for Indian food. They just don’t go together. But I have had bland Indian food, and it was the most disappointing thing I’ve ever experienced. It hurt my soul and sent me to Yelp, which never happens. Zero stars. Go somewhere else. 
  2. Bad Banana Bread Is there anything worse? Absolutely, but this is disappointing. Dry banana bread is the most disappointing, but I made bad banana bread a couple weeks ago. (Pictured) It was totally done on the outside yet pudding-like on the inside. Why? Because I ran out of regular flour and used whole wheat flour to finish it off. Nope. Doesn’t work. Don’t do it. DISAPPOINTING.
  3.  “World’s Best [anything]” It’s not. They just put it on the sign to make you stop and steal your money with their disappointing world’s not best whatever. 
  4. This One Dude in College I’ll keep it at: disappointment. Wherever your mind wandered, subtract all of the inches and it’s still more than what it was. 
  5. Anything Chocolate Chip When You’re Expecting Blueberry I’m weird. I don’t like chocolate chip muffins or cookies or really anything. It’s such a disappointment when it turns out to be chocolate instead of blueberry, which I don’t love, but give me a free muffin, I will take it.
  6. Post Five Second Rule In my house, if it hits the floor, it’s the dogs’. There is too much puppy glitter – aka dog hair – for me to put anything in my mouth once it hits the ground. I found this out the hard way. Water only does so much.
  7. Dog Treats That Look Like Human Cookies I love giving my dog pretty treats. They deserve nice things too. But when I grab a cookie out of a jar, I want it to be a human cookie. Label that shit!
  8. Tea Bags I mean tea bags with tea in them not the other thing that dudes do [Although, that’s pretty disappointing to have in your mouth too. Balls!]. Once you’ve gotten used to that high roller life of loose leaf tea, tea bags are just not so good. 
  9. Cilantro Everything There’s a genetic component in this one, which doesn’t apply to me. Cilantro doesn’t taste like soap to me; I just don’t love it. I don’t hate it, but it is a continual let down because it’s never as good as people say it is. 
  10. Folgers My high school AP U.S. History teacher (Mr. Mooney was the best) referred to this as the F word. He’d rather hear “fuck” than “Folgers” in his classroom; neither were encouraged. It’s not the best part of waking up. Don’t lie to me like that Folgers. 
  11. Real Milk When You Ordered Almond Milk This is disappointing because it tastes so good and you realize it tastes so good because the barista did it wrong and gave you the thing you can’t have instead of the less good thing you can have, and it’s the worst because you think, “Man, they have some bomb almond milk” only to realize “Nope, almond milk still tastes like almond milk, and this is good because fat.”

bisous und объятий,
RaeAnna 

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11..., Lifestyle

11… Reasons I Starbucks

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Who doesn’t love a red Starbucks cup??? | Here Comes Santa Claus shirt | Norwegian Pattern Pants | Christmas Tree | Red Blanket |

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Even Beau wants in on the action!!! | Santa Claus shirt | Norwegian Pattern Pants | Christmas Tree | Red Blanket |

Sometimes I’m real basic. I like to support local coffee shops as much as possible, but you know, Starbucks calls. And it’s hard to pass up a photo opportunity with their cute Christmas/holiday cups!

  1. My best friend, Alex, worked at Starbucks in college. He would always wake me up in the morning with a caramel apple spice or something else delicious he made up for me. It’s hard not to love free! When I miss him, I still head to Starbucks for a caramel apple spice.
  2. They are everywhere, and you always know what you’re getting. As a traveler, Starbucks is nice because it feels familiar on the other side of the world or in an airport.
  3. Rewards programs get me every time. Alex made me get a reward program almost nine years ago. I’ve been a gold member every since. I get tons of free coffee, and now that they updated the program, I can buy merchandise with my stars!!! (My wallet was stolen four years ago, and I’m still pissed my gold card was stolen. So much ANGER.)
  4. I have one 137 steps from my front door. A gate opens up from my apartment complex into a Starbucks parking lot. Convenience is sometimes key. It’s hard to compete with a minute away. I’m doing a service to the earth by not using gas, bringing my own cup, and taking my dog for a walk.
  5. Puppuccinos are Beau’s favorite thing. She will get mad and sassy if I come home with a Starbucks cup or a green straw and no puppuccino for her. Yes she can tell the difference. I have checked.
  6. I like being able to scan my phone and pay with the app. It’s convenient. I can grab a coffee while out on a walk with Beau even though I leave my wallet. I’m responsible, so this never happens, except all the time. 
  7. I can send Starbucks gift cards to my best friend as a treat, when she has something to celebrate, or she’s having a lousy day through the app. It’s easy to make a small gesture. Or for a last minute birthday/Christmas/whatever present if you forget.
  8. They treat their employees well. Alex loved his time at Starbucks, and we’re still friends with lots of his coworkers. Some still work there because it’s a good job. I like supporting businesses which treat their employees well.
  9. Christmas cups are selling point for me. I love the holiday season. I’m not religious, but Christmas is my jam. They get behind it with their red cups and holiday merchandise. Yay!!!
  10. No matter where you are in the world, you know what you’re going to get. Starbucks makes sure everything is cohesive. A vanilla latte will taste the same in Iowa as it does in London or Munich. I know because I have product tested in those locations.
  11. They’re nice. Starbucks takes customer experience seriously. I have met some of the nicest people behind their counters. No snarky baristas there. Or if they’re snarky, it’s because they’re being funny and playing off my snarkiness.

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

I’m also including a bunch of Christmas pajamas that I love and wear
this time of year… and all year round because I’m weird.
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11..., Lifestyle

11…

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I love watching nature. | Dress | Shoes | Sunglasses |

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My dog is my life. Don’t mess with her. | Pajamas | Headband |

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I will do many, many things for a picture for the blog. | Shirt | Shorts | Shoes | Sunglasses |

I’m going to be embarking on a lot of new things here …on the B.L. Because I love blogging and writing, but I want to do more of the things that bring me happiness and fulfillment. Books and book reviews are great, but I need to write about other more important-to-me things. The things I’m going to be writing about more don’t always exude happiness and rainbows. I don’t want to be a total downer because I spend most of my time laughing, so being Eyeore all the time on the blog would be an utter betrayal of who I am. 

On Mondays, or on as many Mondays as I can manage, I will be posting 11…, which is a new blog series I’m introducing today! It will be a list of eleven things, people, places, whos-its, whats-its, and randoms on whatever topic I decide to write about on that particular day. Most of them will be humorous, some will be informative, some will be dark, and there will be everything in between. For the very first 11… I will be talking about myself because I haven’t done a random list of things about me in a good while. So why not now!

  1. 5’10” I am super tall for a lady and technically for a man. The global average height for a man is 5’9”, so technically I’m better than over half the men in the world. Or at least, that’s what I’m telling myself. (I have tiny feet for my height: a size 7. This is directed at all the weirdos who message me about my feet on Instagram. Now you know, go away.)
  2. Musically Inclined Fun fact, I’m a classically trained pianist. I’m rusty, but it’s all there still! I can play the flute and was in a super select flute choir all four years of high school – I hated it and regret it, but it’s a fun(?) fact. I was also in choir in college – it’s how I met Alex of the many blog posts – and have a five octave range. My car singing is legendary, and everyone who’s experienced it is now deaf.
  3. Bollywood I have an undying love of Bollywood movies. In my dreamer’s heart of hearts, I want to be a Bollywood star. They make me happy when skies are grey. I have been obsessed since college. If I ever get the chance to be in a Bollywood movie, I would die happy. So please let me know if you know of an opportunity.
  4. PTSD I have it. It’s a long-ass story, and I will get to it, but today is not the day!
  5. Carousels I LOVE carousels. On my 23rd birthday, I made Kelsey (my best friend til death us do reunite in the place I will never again experience a chill) ride a carousel with me eight times. The only reason we stopped is because she gave me the look. If I see one, I will squeal, jump, and point. Words will not come out of my mouth, but I will grab your arm and tug – pull with great force in the direction of the carousel – to indicate I want a ride or twelve. 
  6. Polyglot Technically, I speak five languages. I’m a native English speaker. I have proficiency in French and Russian. I can get myself around the respective countries with my German and Spanish. 
  7. Chinese Food I believe with absolute certainty that Chinese food has magical healing powers. When I am sick or suffering from any ailment, Chinese food will help if not completely fix the situation. I have yet to be proven wrong. 
  8. Professionally Trained Ballerina For a very long time, I dreamed of being a professional ballerina. I worked super hard at it and didn’t completely suck. I ended up quitting due to injuries and being super tall and my parents’ poverty. I still love dancing more than just about anything. Fun fact: Ballerinas are not tall individuals. 
  9. Private Plane I secretly not so secretly want a private plane. This is absolutely unrealistic, I know. I want one because I want to see the world with my dog, and I think this would be far easier if we had a private plane because we could go wherever whenever without worrying about a dog on a plane with other people and their allergies. Really, it would be a public service. I did the math, I only need 99.99 million more dollars to responsibly buy a private plane and the staff it requires. I’m saving. 
  10. Pantsless I am pantsless 87% of the time because I’m a stay-at-home dog mom. Kidding kind of… I’m a dog mom, and I stay at home, but really it’s because I work from home. I’m a freelance writer, editor, and translator. It’s a great gig. I love it, even though my social life pretty strictly involves baby talk to a nonhuman. If you need a writer, hit me up. I promise I will try harder with your work than with my blog.  
  11. Three Majors and An Emphasis in Four Years I somehow managed to graduate college without ever checking into a hospital for exhaustion in four years with degrees in Literature, French, and Russian with an emphasis (basically a minor) in Literary Analysis and Translation. It’s basically a degree in reading super good. 

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Blog + Dog, Travel, Travel Guides

How to Road Trip

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God, my car needs washed. Yuck.

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Isn’t she the cutest being in the entirety of all the universes???

Fly.

Just kidding.

Get a driver. 

Preferably one with a license and opposable. 

I’m kidding. Kind of. I love(ish) driving. I might be getting tired of road trips. Ergo, the driver comment. Twenty hours, give or take, in the car a couple times a month is a little bit like dying slowly alone in a box on wheels. That’s hyperbole. It’s like running a marathon; except, I’ve never run a marathon, so that is also a guess. It’s kind of terrible. I, also, am kind of addicted. Obviously. Expensive but still cheaper than heroine, I’m told. 

The first twelve hours feel like a bad TV marathon, but you’re too lazy to get up and change the channel back when the dial was on the TV. The next five hours are when you hit the too-delirious-to-give-a-shit phase. This is the money zone. I love that zone. It’s when my voice is the right amount of shitty and perfect for belting out all the songs I should never try to begin with. The last hour or three are the worst because I’m sooooo close but still 183.29 miles to go. That’s the math phase. If I were to go over the speed limit – I never do, for realsies, ask my best friends – I could make it there in two hours if I manage to average 98.5 miles per hour. Again this is fantasy because I’ve been in the car for 18 hours, and I’m ready to offer myself to my ancestors by way of seppuku to get out of this damn aluminum transportation device. 

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Peace out North Carolina! Actually, this was taken in Galveston, Texas. Shhh….

I like road tripping because I can take my dog. Beau doesn’t fly. I’m too poor and she’s too dog to fly. It’s also convenient to have a car at my end destination. I hate relying on people. Unless, it’s my best friends forever and always til the Big Crunch because where would I go without them anyways? It tends to be cheaper than flying but not always. I can bring as much ridiculous crap as I want without having to pay for checked bags. Who knows! I might need those seven pairs of shoes, a ballgown, all of my makeup, 26 books, and a yoga mat – I don’t do yoga, but I could be inspired on this latest adventure. You just don’t know!!! AND the apocalypse might happen or a house fire or I can’t stand the people I’m visiting all of a sudden out of the blue, and I don’t want to sleep on the sidewalk or a bench beating people away with a stick from stealing my stuff, so I bring my car because I can sleep in it push comes to shove. 

Any who… I’m leaving North Carolina this evening on the next leg of my road trip extravaganza. Let me know if you want a recording of the singing happening between hours fourteen and sixteen tonight. 

bisous,
Your Tired Blogger Friend