Tag: Female Friendship

11..., Lifestyle

11… Reasons I Have the Best Person Ever

RaeAnna
Our first trip together! San Diego, 2014
We have a mutual love of bed and dogs. 2015
She’s smiling even though she was dying inside from the boredom that is carousels. My birthday, 2014.
She’ll take pictures like this with me! Christmas, 2019
The infamous Wox of Bine night, 2013.

11… Reasons I Have the Best Person Ever

This post is sponsored… kidding. This post was inspired by my best friend when I asked her what I should write about today, and she told me “11 reasons I have the best friend ever,” so here we are.  I changed it to “person” instead of friend because she’s more than my friend. She’s my sister, my partner, my soulmate, my other half, my forever and always, my constant. She is my person.

For those of you who don’t know her. Kelsey Roberts is a 25 year old bad-ass. We met seven years ago in college working at the library. She was a freshman; I was a senior. She just graduated from her Master’s program in Art History from George Mason University. 

  1. Kelsey has supported and loved me through some of the darkest times in my life. I really will never be able to thank her for everything she has been through with me, but it is a testament to our friendship and her heart that she is still around. 
  2. She’s fucking funny. We riff off of each other so well. We’re always in stitches when we’re around each other. I have so many screenshots of our conversations and an entire Google.doc of funny things we’ve said and come up with.
  3. She didn’t run away after the first time we hung out. Seriously though. There were a lot of red flags telling her torun, but she didn’t. She was like, “Yup! This crazy matches my crazy, and it’s scary but it’ll be fun.” It’s definitely been scary, but it’s been a hell of a lot of fun. 
  4. She’s just the right amount of stupid. Actually, she’s not stupid at all, but she is a hypochondriac. When her hypochondria gets-a-going, she’ll believe a lot of things. Like the fact she’s allergic to the color yellow so she can no longer eat bananas. That’s not a real thing, but she totally believed me until I posted the screenshots of that text exchange on Facebook.
  5. She puts up with me embarrassing her on social media. See #4 or writing about her on my blog or posting really embarrassing pictures from her drunken nights in college. (Which totally never happened. Kidding they absolutely did, and I was sober to capture her in all her glory.) Wox of Bine anyone? That’s Kelsey for “Box of Wine,” which she put on a short dude’s head so she could drink straight from the Wox of Bine’s spot. 
  6. We’re exactly the same height. Literally. Exactly. Except her mane gives her a quarter of an inch to a full inch depending on the day. We’re the same height, and it’s amazing. No awkward tall-short friend pictures for us. It’s a blessing. 
  7. She lived in DC for a few years. This was amazing for visiting purposes. I got to visit her and explore a really cool city!!!
  8. Her love for animals is as deep as mine. We’re crazy animal people. She leans more towards cats but has a never ending love for dogs too. She fully supported me when I told her I picked up Tess and was probably going to keep her and help her through the puppy-situation. Kelsey was the first person I called with Tess news. Kelsey knew before Dylan. 
  9. She gave me a family. Her parents are now my parents. Her siblings are now my siblings. I love them with all my heart. I lived with them for almost three years. I go home as much as I can, and they love me unconditionally. 
  10. She has a heart of gold. Truly, she would take away the world’s pain if she could. 
  11. She is my other half. We always tell people: If you love Kelsey, you’ll definitely love me. If you love me, you might love Kelsey. Kelsey is pricklier and harder to get to know on the surface. In reality, she’s more optimistic, positive, and open than I am. She seems more difficult to get to know, but she’s protecting her soft, puppy-loving, do-gooder heart from being hurt by shitty people because she has been through so much in her life. We are two sides of the same coin. We balance each other and make one another whole. She is the person I turn to and vice versa. We met and instantly became attached physically and emotionally. It got harder when I graduated, but we talk every day, all the time. And we talk about EVERYTHING. From poop to sex to fashion to dogs to health issues to politics to family to my existential crises/feelings of impending doom to her hypochondria and everything in between. Nothing is off limits. We have no secrets, and whatever hasn’t been shared is solely because we forgot or ran out of time or we’re waiting until the next time we see one another in person, which should be sooner rather than later. Since meeting her, I have never once been scared about being alone. I found my person at 22. My person is not a romantic love, but it is the best love in my life. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her, and I miss her every moment we’re not together. Someday, I plan on kidnapping her and retiring to a lighthouse on the coast of Scotland where we will live together in peace raising dogs, cats, and White Park Cattle, while reading and writing about all the things we’re passionate about. 
  12. The one thing I don’t love: She hasn’t come to visit me in over three years. She needs to meet all her new fur nieces and nephews, see my new house, and sit on the couch and binge Netflix with me!!!

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

11..., Lifestyle

11… Reasons Amanda is Amazing and Perfection

RaeAnna

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Posing with the puppies in Amanda’s backyard in our matching Bee Kind shirts. | Floral Shorts |

I met Amanda because of my blog. She is a florist and business owner — of Amanda Bee’s Floral Design, the best florist in town and probably the country — in Houston. Almost two years ago, she reached out to me because she wanted to do a collaboration. A few days after corresponding by email, she showed up on my doorstep with a big bouquet of flowers. We chatted for five minutes, and in that time frame, she said “We’re going to be friends.” I found out she only lived eight minutes away from me, a happy coincidence. A week later, we went out for lunch. That evening, I ended up in an alley, changing into wedding dresses for a really fun photo shoot to showcase her floral designs.
We’ve been inseparable ever since.
Amanda has become more than a friend over the last two years; she’s family. We’ve spent holidays together, gone on vacation, hosted game nights, baked, learned from each other, helped, vented, met each other’s families, and a plethora of other very weird and oddly specific things. We have made her husband and my boyfriend become friends because they don’t have any other option. She is Beau’s godmother and has done innumerable things to help take care of Beau when I’ve been out of town or just need a backyard to get the zoomies out.
Houston would not be the place it is without her. I have come to depend on her in so many ways. She even helped bring the puppies into this world because I was unable to. I am a better person because she is in my life. We can adventure together or sit on the couch and do nothing together.
I have started referring to Amanda as my personal Patron Saint. She shows up even when I don’t know I need her. She stayed with Tess while we were waiting for the puppies to arrive. Not only did she help bring all thirteen puppies into the world, she has opened up her home to all of us.
I live in an apartment. The apartment has a two pets per home policy… I am, currently, thirteen over that limit. My parents offered to let me, Tess, and all the puppies stay with them in Iowa. The problem: That’s a sixteen hour drive (nonstop) with THIRTEEN very, very, very young puppies. Oh, and I’d have to drive them all those sixteen hours back to Houston. Amanda and Andrew, her husband, opened up their home to me, Tess, and the puppies. She cleared out an entire room for the puppies to stay in and one for me. It’s not even for a short amount of time. We’re here for a LONG time during a pandemic and quarantine. I can’t imagine how inconvenient it is to have fourteen dogs and an extra person around 24/7. They offered without hesitation or provocation. They have been an absolute blessing. I truly do not know what I would do without their kindness. It’s an immense gift they’ve given me, and I will be baking them yum-yums forever and in the after life.
Anyways. Here are eleven reasons Amanda is one of my closest friends and an incredible human being.

  1. She always shows up with a smile and a helping hand.
  2. Flowers. So many flowers. Having a florist friend is amazing, and she’s so talented.
  3. Her sense of humor is perfectly matched to my own. We’re always laughing.
  4. She loves board games as much as I do. Maybe more.
  5. We can adventure together.
  6. She’s smart. So, so smart. She has Bachelor of Arts in Horticulture with an emphasis in Floral Design and Event Planning and a Minor in Entomology. (She will kill all the bugs for me and plant my garden. No joke. It happens.) She has a wealth of knowledge on the natural world. It’s so fun listening to her talk about her job and gardening and plants and even bugs. If I want to know what a flower or plant is, I send her a picture, and she texts me the answer within seconds. She has taught me about slugs and butterflies and lots of other things I’ve blocked out of my bug-hating mind. I have my very own natural dictionary.
  7. It drives me bonkers how humble she is. She is absolutely incredible, smart, fascinating, and more, but she has no idea!
  8. Her sense of style and aesthetic is incredible. Honestly, I want to show everyone her house, and I have brought many people over. I always want to show people how amazing she is and what she can do; her house is such a pure reflection of everything she is.
  9. Kindness is at the heart of everything she does. There are few people who possess a similar depth of kindness, altruism, and understanding. It’s unending and radiant. Being around Amanda is calming and invigorating because she makes you feel like you’re the most important person.
  10. You would be hard pressed to find a better cheerleader.
  11. She’s effortlessly cool in her own unique brand of unapologetically and perfectly weird.
  12. *Bonus* She’s proud of who she is and stands up for what she believes in. I may not agree with all of her beliefs, but I respect her, which is far more important and much harder to earn.

I could write a much longer list than eleven (twelve) things about all the reasons Amanda is wonderful. I think it’s impossible for anyone to dislike her, but I might be biased, and if you do dislike her, what did you do to deserve her wrath?
Even if this blog disappeared tomorrow, I would be forever grateful it brought us together. She was a blessing two years ago and has continued to be one every day, ever since. I don’t know if it was luck or fate, but whatever it was, I feel lucky she knocked on my door and told me we would be friends.
I am proud to call her a friend. I am honored to call her family.

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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11..., Lifestyle

11 Reasons A Florist Friend is the Best Kind of Friend

RaeAnna

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Vase | Desk | Mug | Laptop

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Vase | Side Table

I actually met and fell in platonic love with my Houston bestie because of Instagram. She’s a local florist and reached out to me about a collaboration. Over a year ago, Amanda walked into my living room with an arm full of flowers, told me we should be friends, and now, she can’t get rid of me. There are a few perks to having a florist for a bestie…. There are more than a few perks, but here are eleven I can think of. 

By the way, she’s Amanda owner and creative genius behind Amanda Bee’s Floral Design. Click here to find her website. Or give her a follow on Instagram or Twitter or Pinterest or Facebook too. She’s the best. I’m not just saying that because I’m staring at a gorgeous and underpriced bouquet; she really is completely talented. 

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Vase | Side Table

  1. Flowers For some odd reason, florists have flowers lying around, and Amanda’s house smells like a greenhouse on steroids. 
  2. Creativity To be a floral designer takes a lot of creativity. It’s such an interesting perspective, and she brings it into every part of her life and now mine. 
  3. Knowledge I like to know things. Plants and flowers are everywhere, and I don’t know very much about them. I can always text Amanda a picture of a plant or flower, and she’ll have the answer. It’s like having my own personal plant dictionary at my disposal.
  4. Wholesale If you’ve never been to a wholesale flowers, you should. It’s magical.
  5. Dirty People think florists are soft and fragile, but they’re willing to get their hands dirty. Taking care of flowers, making them pretty, dethorning them, and all that crap is hard work, and it’s dirty. Amanda is never afraid to get her hands dirty and get to work doing stuff.
  6. Beauty Flowers are dirty and a pain, but they’re pretty. Amanda always brings small and beautiful elements to just about everything in her life.
  7. Teacher Amanda is full of knowledge, and she’s always teaching me new things, like how to know if a flower is healthy, when to dry them, pressing techniques, and so much more. 
  8. Flowers Sometimes when there are leftovers, I get some fun flowers. It’s a solid perk. I also get a genius arranging flowers I buy because I am genuinely not good at creating interesting arrangements. 
  9. Firm I always functioned under the idea: flowers are fragile. They are, but they’re not. You can use a firm hand to get them to do what you want them to do sometimes. 
  10. Ingenuity I’m not saying she forages, but I’m not saying she doesn’t. Floral design isn’t just flowers; it’s about creating beautiful floral arrangements for spaces and people. Branches and fruit and feathers and more can go into arrangements to create depth, movement, and texture. Watching a truly creative designer do what they’re good at is fascinating.
  11. Flowers Have a mentioned being surrounded by flowers and a literal flower girl is just plain good for the soul?

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Books, NonFiction

Text Me When You Get Home by Kayleen Schaefer

RaeAnna

Worth A Read Yes
Length 281
Quick Review “Text me when you get home” is not just the title of Kayleen Schaefer’s book, it’s a phrase almost every woman has uttered for a lot of reasons, which Schaefer delves into in her look at modern womanhood and friendship. 

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Hanging out in a Houston Heights gazebo.

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Text Me When You Get Home by Kayleen Schaefer | Sunflower Set | Shoes | Purse | Bow | Bracelets | Sunglasses | Earrings 

Kayleen Schaefer had me at the title Text Me When You Get Home; The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship because it’s an evolution and triumph in my own life. As a woman who grew up with mostly guy friends, I have found myself solely surrounded by women in my adulthood. I grew up thinking I was a guy’s girl; it turns out I don’t miss being one of the guys at all. Schaefer describes the phenomenon women are experiencing: female friendship is awesome and nothing like the media has been portraying it. Reading Schaefer’s words feels like unraveling my complex emotions and opinions on more than just female friendships but also my own identity as a woman and writer living in a male dominated world.  

Text Me When You Get Home seems to be an anthem for women around the world “because women who say, “Text me when you get home,” aren’t just asking for reassurance that you’ve made it to your bed unharmed. It’s not only about safety. It’s about solidarity. It’s about us knowing how unsettling it can feel when you’ve been surrounded by friends and then are suddenly by yourself again. It’s about us understanding that women who are alone get unwanted attention and scrutiny.” I think we’re really saying I’m with you even when I can’t be with you.

Schaefer explores the complexities of female friendships and why they tend to seem so damn hard. It turns out, it’s really not our fault at all. Feminine self-hatred is so ingrained because: the media. At every angle, women are taught by the media that we’re catty, mean, unstable, crazy, hormonal, indecisive, and less successful. This ideology is forced down our throats so much it enters our conversations and how we interact with other women, which only reinforces these ideologies. The fact is, none of this is remotely true. It ends up being a cultural self-fulfilling prophecy rather than biological inability to love and support the ladies in our lives. 

Female friendships are more complicated and deeper than male friendships because women are willing to go deeper, do the work, and lean in to one another. Schaefer isn’t afraid to take on the hard topics in Text Me When You Get Home. Friendship is influenced by everything, and women have to overcome all of these difficult topics and societal failures in order to have a nurturing and wonderful relationship. From the data bias (explored in depth in Caroline Criado-Perez’s Invisible Women) to the biological “tend-and-befriend” response to New York City’s female only residences (Barbizon, the most famous, is featured in Fiona Davis’ The Dollhouse and was home to Silvia Plath) to marriage to feminism to careers. 

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Text Me When You Get Home by Kayleen Schaefer | Sunflower Set | Shoes | Purse | Bow | Bracelets | Sunglasses | Earrings

The most poignant moments in Text Me When You Get Home are when Schaefer talks about her personal experiences as a woman in a man’s world. The truly touching points involve her own evolution as a woman and discovery of female friendship. Female friends feed the soul in a way a man in any capacity is not able to, “I wanted my friends to consider me as necessary as they had become to me. I wanted them to know that these were long-term relationships and that I’d be there for them, too, in any way they might want.” 

In the past century, female friendship has been the in between; women are companions until a romantic partner is obtained. Historically this has never been true. The last century has seen women isolated and conditioned to depend on men in ways we never have as a gender in order to keep the status quo for as long as possible. This new generation of women is calling bullshit. We’re showing up for the good and the bad. We’re saying Text Me When You Get Home.

Memorable Quotes
“Men do not tell their friends to text them when they get home.”
“My friends took me out of the way I was taught to be and turned me into something better.”
“I thought making friends with women would interfere with my career in more ways than just distracting me from work. I thought if I wanted to be a writer, I had to look to men. That’s because real writers were men. No one told me this. They didn’t have to.”
“Marriage was something to look forward to, I was taught. Without a husband, you were supposed to feel incomplete.”
“For the first time in my life, I treated pursuing and tending to friendships seriously.”
“Women aren’t allowed to be jealous, angry, or vengeful, at least if we want to go on being seen as good girls.”
“It’s the incongruity between stopping ourselves from seeming anything but pleasant while ambitious, on one hand, and the belief that all women can’t have good things, on the other, that creates frenemies.”
“We can be protectors.”

Buy on Amazon | Buy on Barnes & Noble | Buy on Book Depository
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Title: Text Me When You Get Home; The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship
Author: Kayleen Schaefer
Publisher: Dutton (Penguin Random House)
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9781101986141

Lifestyle

Invest in Books and Friends

RaeAnna

Happy Feminist Friday!

I think two of the most important things women can invest in are books and friendship. These two things have a lot in common. They’re both time consuming. They cost. Books cost money; friends can cost money (going out, gas, etc.). They are absolutely priceless!!!

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Books
Well, I obviously think these are one of the most important things anyone can invest in. Not like I’m a book blogger or anything…

Books for a really, really, really long time were inaccessible. They were expensive to make. Then the Gutenberg Press happened. Woohoo! Technology helped make the production of books simpler, faster, cheaper, which allowed more books into the world creating more authors and more readers. Before the Gutenberg Press, you had to be super rich or clergy to have books. The other big reason books were inaccessible for so long: literacy. The only way you learned to read was if you were – again – super rich or clergy. Rates of literacy began to rise after books became more accessible………..

I forgot to mention one teensy little thing. Previous paragraph is pretty much just about men. Women reading, yeah that, it’s a new thing. Women didn’t read. They weren’t taught. Education was a thing for men. Educated women? They existed… Very few and far between. That history is loooong.

Anyways, books are important. It’s still a fairly new phenomenon. There are still many places in this world where reading is rare, but I’m lucky to live in a place and a time where reading is easy and inexpensive!

Women should read because knowledge is power. Enough said.

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Friends
Friends are super important. Books are not my only friends. I wouldn’t say I have tons and tons of friends. I have several really close friends. I am beyond blessed to have each and every one of them.

Funny enough, books have lead me to several of my friendships.

My best friend and I met in the library at college. We both worked there. I was a senior; she was a freshman. It was her first day of college, and it was my last first day of college. I trained her. One thing lead to another, and she has never gotten rid of me since.

My blogger bestie, Maria, and I solidified our friendship over books and reading and the general accumulation and discussion of knowledge. We lived on the same dorm floor our freshman year in college – a handful of years ago, now. We met and hit it off pretty much immediately. I would love to say books were the catalyst, but it was a combination of books and fashion. We LOVE both. Fast forward a handful of years. We had fallen out of touch because life. We kept tabs, but hadn’t talked or seen each other in YEARS. Living on opposite sides of the country, we each entered the blogosphere within months of each other, literally two. She is a fashion/lifestyle blogger: Millennial Fashionista. I am a literary/lifestyle blogger. We support one another. We chat often. We share blogging woes and highs. Books brought us together many years ago, and books helped rekindle our friendship. Click here to see us in action on her page!

Friendship is such an important aspect in our lives as people and women. It’s important to have a support system. Friends provide a place to be our weird selves.

Books and Friends. My two favorite things!