All the Single Ladies – …on the B.L.

Read Yes
Length 320
Quick Review Anger has been subdued, ignored, and vilified in women for-literally-ever. It’s not even something that can be discussed as if it’s in the past. Good & Mad is a look into women’s pent-up anger.

Good & Mad by Rebecca Traister || Red Dress || Heels

Earlier this year, I read Rebecca Traister’s All the Single Ladies (read the review here) and enjoyed it very much. When I found out about her newest book Good & Mad, I was ecstatic to read it.

Anger is a natural emotion. Everyone is angry at some point, in some way, on some level. For men, anger can be an asset. For women, it never is. Anger is something I have struggled with my entire life. I was never encouraged to be angry; instead, calm down became a mantra. Anytime I was angry, it was always played off as irrational and, when I got older, or just PMS. Just so you know, it was never PMS. The even more infuriating thing: it was women telling me these things. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized other women experienced the same thing.

Good & Mad isn’t necessarily ground breaking, but it is important. Now is a time of upheaval. Women are fighting for their rights. Equal rights. A lesser known right: the right to be angry. We deserve to feel angry and express it. Rebecca Traister explores the history of women’s anger with a great of emphasis on American women.

I enjoy reading Traister’s work because she has a sense of humor even when writing about dark topics like feminism, violence, and anger. Good & Mad is no exception. She finds flaws in the American system, but through the criticism, it is obvious she loves this country and wants the best for it. Focusing on competent yet vilified women in politics is one way of showing examples of women’s anger being unacceptable. Women can’t win on either end. If they’re angry, they’re vilified; if they’re too kind, they’re adorable and a push over. Neither way is a woman taken seriously.

One of my favorite points, which I had not thought of much, is the idea that when a woman criticizes a man it is reminiscent of maternal criticism and marks an emotional return to childhood for men. This is a really interesting concept that could be expanded upon.

I highly suggest this read. It’s very interesting!

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Memorable Quotes
“Over the threat of a potential female leader, brutal masculinity won.”
“The aspersions that a woman who is angry is also unstable is cast every day in popular political discourse.”
“Maybe we cry when we’re furious in part because we feel a kind of grief at all the things we want to say or tell that we know we can’t.”
“The close cousin of sadness is laughter”

Title: Good and Mad
Author: Rebecca Traister
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Copyright: 2018
ISBN: 9781501181795

Read: Yes
Length: 339
Quick Review: An in depth look at the transformation in status, perception, and participation American women have undergone in society through the centuries.

20180115_111033(0)-01.jpeg — All the Single Ladies by Rebecca Traister

Rebecca Traister had me hooked when she stated, “I always hated it when my heroines got married” within the first few paragraphs. All the Single Ladies is a look at modern women and where we have come from.

All the Single Ladies is a fun yet in depth look at the history of women with a focus on American women. There are tons of statistics, but you won’t drown in them. The statistics serve a purpose to educate but are still interesting. Traister utilizes her own single life as well as friends, colleagues, and others’ experiences as single women. One thing Traister conveys more than anything else is that singledom is incredibly diverse looking different for everyone.

Traister is not anti-marriage, anti-male, anti-woman, or anti-single. When she began her journey writing this book, she was a single woman living in New York City. At some point in her life and book journey, she met a man. She is now a married woman with two daughters.

This has been on my reading list for awhile since I am a single lady. For as excited as I was, I was also a touch tentative. Rebecca Traister is a white woman. There is nothing wrong with this. When looking at a subject, there is the tendency to look at people similar to oneself. I was worried there would be a deficiency of inclusivity and diversity of perspective, socio-economic background, race, etc. I was pleasantly surprised. From the beginning, she states that she sites more white, New Yorker writers than most of us probably know. Throughout the book, she does a good job of talking about all women and not just those she identifies with. She spends a great deal of time discussing the disparity between white women and women of color, poor women and middle class/wealthy women, and more. She explores the fact women of color and poor women have enabled wealthier classes of women “freedoms.” How there is a dependency between the two discrepancies. How white women have lead change by co-opting opinions and actions of women of color.

Traister spends a lot of time emphasizing the complexities of women’s issues.

Nothing Traister wrote was groundbreaking. At least, it wasn’t ground breaking or remotely shocking to me. I spend a lot of my time listening to women’s stories and reading about the history and complexities of women’s status in society. If it’s not something you have spent a great deal of time lingering on, there will be lots of information packed into a fairly short book.

(I have fun finding mistakes, and she had one mistake on page 153: the date should be 1938 but reads 1838. Oops! Only off by 100 years.)

I highly suggest this book. It’s interesting and fun. Personally, it rejuvenated my love of being a single woman in America. I would love to hear Traister’s opinions about women’s status post the 2016 presidential election.

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Memorable Quotes
“…these single American women have already shown that they have the power to change America, in ways that make many people extremely uncomfortable.”
“Any time women do anything with their lives that is not in service to others, they are readily perceived as acting perversely.”
“When people call single women selfish for the act of spending on themselves, it’s important to remember that the very acknowledgement that women have selves that exist independently of others, and especially independent of husbands and children, is revolutionary.”
““It takes a lot to qualify a man as selfish”” Amina Sow
“The state must play its role in supporting a population that no longer lives and dies within a family unit.”
“at the heart of independence lies money.”
“When it comes to female liberty and opportunity, history sets an extremely low bar.”
“women’s maternal status is often treated as the singularly interesting thing about them”

Title: All The Single Ladies; Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation
Author: Rebecca Traister
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Paperbacks
Copyright: 2016
ISBN: 9781476716572