Feminist – Page 3 – …on the B.L.

Invest in Books and Friends

March 13, 2018 RaeAnna

Happy Feminist Friday!

I think two of the most important things women can invest in are books and friendship. These two things have a lot in common. They’re both time consuming. They cost. Books cost money; friends can cost money (going out, gas, etc.). They are absolutely priceless!!!

Books
Well, I obviously think these are one of the most important things anyone can invest in. Not like I’m a book blogger or anything…

Books for a really, really, really long time were inaccessible. They were expensive to make. Then the Gutenberg Press happened. Woohoo! Technology helped make the production of books simpler, faster, cheaper, which allowed more books into the world creating more authors and more readers. Before the Gutenberg Press, you had to be super rich or clergy to have books. The other big reason books were inaccessible for so long: literacy. The only way you learned to read was if you were – again – super rich or clergy. Rates of literacy began to rise after books became more accessible………..

I forgot to mention one teensy little thing. Previous paragraph is pretty much just about men. Women reading, yeah that, it’s a new thing. Women didn’t read. They weren’t taught. Education was a thing for men. Educated women? They existed… Very few and far between. That history is loooong.

Anyways, books are important. It’s still a fairly new phenomenon. There are still many places in this world where reading is rare, but I’m lucky to live in a place and a time where reading is easy and inexpensive!

Women should read because knowledge is power. Enough said.

Friends
Friends are super important. Books are not my only friends. I wouldn’t say I have tons and tons of friends. I have several really close friends. I am beyond blessed to have each and every one of them.

Funny enough, books have lead me to several of my friendships.

My best friend and I met in the library at college. We both worked there. I was a senior; she was a freshman. It was her first day of college, and it was my last first day of college. I trained her. One thing lead to another, and she has never gotten rid of me since.

My blogger bestie, Maria, and I solidified our friendship over books and reading and the general accumulation and discussion of knowledge. We lived on the same dorm floor our freshman year in college – a handful of years ago, now. We met and hit it off pretty much immediately. I would love to say books were the catalyst, but it was a combination of books and fashion. We LOVE both. Fast forward a handful of years. We had fallen out of touch because life. We kept tabs, but hadn’t talked or seen each other in YEARS. Living on opposite sides of the country, we each entered the blogosphere within months of each other, literally two. She is a fashion/lifestyle blogger: Millennial Fashionista. I am a literary/lifestyle blogger. We support one another. We chat often. We share blogging woes and highs. Books brought us together many years ago, and books helped rekindle our friendship. Click here to see us in action on her page!

Friendship is such an important aspect in our lives as people and women. It’s important to have a support system. Friends provide a place to be our weird selves.

Books and Friends. My two favorite things!

Lifestyle

This Feminist Wears Heels

March 2, 2018 RaeAnna

Happy Feminist Friday! I’ll write on this topic every so often because it’s important, and I read a lot of books with strong female characters and feminist undercurrents.

My feminism is intersectional and inclusive and all about equality. No one is better than anyone else. We all deserve the same rights and opportunities. I don’t care if you’re female, male, trans, gay, straight, bi, liberal, conservative, religious, non-religious, have similar beliefs, think I’m full of crap or everything in between. You all matter. You all deserve respect. You are all part of my rainbow, and you’re all beautiful. I have said it before. I will say it again. I will repeat it until I die. And I hope it’s something people remember about me.

This feminist is a hard core feminist. I believe we should all live our lives however we want to live our lives. I will never push my beliefs on you, and I hope you give me the same. I will never judge a woman or man on how they lead their lives.

This feminist LOVES heels. I love dresses. I love… well I like makeup. I love clothes. I love looking nice. I love having long hair. I love having shaved legs. I love bows and pearls and lace. I love cooking. I love baking. I hate cleaning. I love taking care of those close to me. I love to sew and knit. Actually, I’ll probably take care of anyone crossing my path who needs it. I love kids. I love men. I love ballet. I love music. I love art.

I live a life that screams conservative to those who don’t know me well because I am attracted to very stereotypical female activities. I’m very liberal, but I feel comfortable in the choices I make. They make me happy. The thing is: I have the choice to enjoy the things I enjoy. I wasn’t forced into them. I’m not pressured into them. When I don’t want to cook, I order in. When I don’t want to bake, I don’t bake. When I don’t want to wear heels or makeup or a dress or whatever, I wear sweats and flip flops.

I have the privilege and ability and education to live my life the way I want to live it. Sure, I experience pressures to be a certain way, but I have the confidence to live my life my way. My way wears heels.

Books, NonFiction

Year of Yes

February 18, 2018 RaeAnna

Read: Yes
Length:
Quick Review: Shonda Rhimes owns Thursday night and lives in Shondaland. But she wasn’t happy, so she embarked on a year of saying yes.

Shonda Rhimes grew up in Chicago, graduated from Dartmouth then USC School of Cinematic Arts, and went on to write movies in Hollywood. In 2005, she launched her first show: Grey’s Anatomy. She went on to create several more shows. Today, every show on ABC on Thursday nights she has brought to life.

Rhimes begins her memoir with a disclaimer, which states she is old and a liar. She loves lying. She’s a professional liar. Because… it’s her job! She’s a writer. Playing make believe is her job. No matter how much she loves lying, she’s keeping it real in her memoir. She then has a prologue about the events leading her to her year of yes. Then her book begins.

Rhimes is a successful woman of color in Hollywood, which is still rare. She was unhappy even though she seemed to have everything: a job, money, TV shows, success, power, family, friends, and three beautiful daughters. She decided to spend a year saying yes to the opportunities that came her way. As the year progressed, she began to notice her quality of life changing.

I can personally identify with her childhood as a bookworm and potential, future writer. As a child, she used to shove books down the back of her pants, so she could sneak off and read. When I was little, I couldn’t wait to own a purse. At 10, I bought my first purse; it was big enough to hold a book, and that’s all I ever carried in it. I now carry huge purses because I still bring a book everywhere.

The thing I loved most about Year of Yes, is how real Rhimes kept it. I want to be her friend, quite honestly. She cut the crap. She let people in showing her fragility. She’s a single mom. How does she do it? With help. She is incredibly shy and has stage fright. How did she get over it? She said yes to Jimmy Kimmel.

Year of Yes is her memoir, but I found it so empowering. I don’t want to mom, but her words on motherhood were beyond touching. I wish I could memorize her pseudo-rant because it was perfect. She’s inspiring as a F.O.D. First. Only. Different.

Shonda Rhimes is a remarkable woman with so much ahead of her. An entire generation grew up with her TV shows. I still remember the very first night Grey’s Anatomy aired. She has impacted a shift in television and the way we see the world. She is an inspiration even before reading her book. It’s important for our role models to be something other than perfect. Rhimes tears down the walls of her perfection revealing a woman with faults and imperfections. She’s allowing a whole generation of young women, who look up to her, to be human with bumps in their personalities realize they too can be an F.O.D.

Memorable Quotes
“Sometimes the toilet paper does not win.”
“I am never more sure of myself about a topic than when I have absolutely no experience with it.”
“We’ve all been taught to shame and be shamed.”

Title: Year of Yes; How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person
Author: Shonda Rhimes
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Copyright: 2015
ISBN: 9781476777122

Books

We Should All Be Feminists

February 2, 2018 RaeAnna

Read: Yes
Length: 52
Quick Review: An essay about the importance of feminism. Beginning as a Tedx Talk, Adichie redefines feminism for the new generation of feminists.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is one of my favorite authors. If you’re a repeat reader, I’m sure that is clear already. She is one of those writers you cannot ignore. With her unique voice and story telling ability, she has grabbed the attention of the world. I found her about a year ago, in which time, I have read the majority of her works. (I only have Purple Hibiscus left to read.) I am rereading We Should All Be Feminists again because it is just that good.

For the majority of the world when the word feminism is uttered, people immediately and solely think of it as something applying to women or even cared about by women. Feminism is seen as benefiting women.

Adichie begins her essay with a few examples of the differences women face in the world based on their gender. She also turns the idea of feminism on its head by explaining the benefits feminism has for men and boys as well. Without feminism, culture is a hindrance to men because they must conform to the idea of masculinity and “stifle their humanity.” Although Adichie discusses the positives of feminism for men, it is more important for girls. Without feminism women spend their lives defining their place in the world by their relationship to men.

Adichie writes succinctly and effectively. There is a fire in her words fueled by anger and hope. She is one of the most talented storytellers, but she is incredibly gifted as a nonfiction writer. Her novels and short stories take the reader to another place, but her essay grounds the reader in reality. Adichie lets the reader get to know her a little.

I can’t recommend We Should All Be Feminists more. The essay should be mandatory reading for everyone. It is an amazing, concise, and quick read. Taking less than half an hour. Sit down and read it the moment you can!

Memorable Quotes
“… both of us bristling with the half-baked knowledge of books we had read.”
“At some point I was a Happy African Feminist Who Does Not Hate Men And Who Likes To Wear Lip Gloss And High Heels For Herself And Not For Men.”
“But our ideas of gender have not evolved very much.”
“… it is one thing to know something intellectually and quite another to feel it emotionally.”
“There are far fewer guides for men about pleasing women.”
“And then we do a much greater disservice to girls, because we raise them to cater to the fragile egos of males.”

Title: We Should All Be Feminists
Author: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Publisher: Anchor Books (Random House)
Copyright: 2012/2014
ISBN: 9781101911761

Books

All the Single Ladies

January 26, 2018November 4, 2018 RaeAnna

Read: Yes
Length: 339
Quick Review: An in depth look at the transformation in status, perception, and participation American women have undergone in society through the centuries.

20180115_111033(0)-01.jpeg — All the Single Ladies by Rebecca Traister

Rebecca Traister had me hooked when she stated, “I always hated it when my heroines got married” within the first few paragraphs. All the Single Ladies is a look at modern women and where we have come from.

All the Single Ladies is a fun yet in depth look at the history of women with a focus on American women. There are tons of statistics, but you won’t drown in them. The statistics serve a purpose to educate but are still interesting. Traister utilizes her own single life as well as friends, colleagues, and others’ experiences as single women. One thing Traister conveys more than anything else is that singledom is incredibly diverse looking different for everyone.

Traister is not anti-marriage, anti-male, anti-woman, or anti-single. When she began her journey writing this book, she was a single woman living in New York City. At some point in her life and book journey, she met a man. She is now a married woman with two daughters.

This has been on my reading list for awhile since I am a single lady. For as excited as I was, I was also a touch tentative. Rebecca Traister is a white woman. There is nothing wrong with this. When looking at a subject, there is the tendency to look at people similar to oneself. I was worried there would be a deficiency of inclusivity and diversity of perspective, socio-economic background, race, etc. I was pleasantly surprised. From the beginning, she states that she sites more white, New Yorker writers than most of us probably know. Throughout the book, she does a good job of talking about all women and not just those she identifies with. She spends a great deal of time discussing the disparity between white women and women of color, poor women and middle class/wealthy women, and more. She explores the fact women of color and poor women have enabled wealthier classes of women “freedoms.” How there is a dependency between the two discrepancies. How white women have lead change by co-opting opinions and actions of women of color.

Traister spends a lot of time emphasizing the complexities of women’s issues.

Nothing Traister wrote was groundbreaking. At least, it wasn’t ground breaking or remotely shocking to me. I spend a lot of my time listening to women’s stories and reading about the history and complexities of women’s status in society. If it’s not something you have spent a great deal of time lingering on, there will be lots of information packed into a fairly short book.

(I have fun finding mistakes, and she had one mistake on page 153: the date should be 1938 but reads 1838. Oops! Only off by 100 years.)

I highly suggest this book. It’s interesting and fun. Personally, it rejuvenated my love of being a single woman in America. I would love to hear Traister’s opinions about women’s status post the 2016 presidential election.

Buy on Amazon || Buy on Book Depository

Memorable Quotes
“…these single American women have already shown that they have the power to change America, in ways that make many people extremely uncomfortable.”
“Any time women do anything with their lives that is not in service to others, they are readily perceived as acting perversely.”
“When people call single women selfish for the act of spending on themselves, it’s important to remember that the very acknowledgement that women have selves that exist independently of others, and especially independent of husbands and children, is revolutionary.”
““It takes a lot to qualify a man as selfish”” Amina Sow
“The state must play its role in supporting a population that no longer lives and dies within a family unit.”
“at the heart of independence lies money.”
“When it comes to female liberty and opportunity, history sets an extremely low bar.”
“women’s maternal status is often treated as the singularly interesting thing about them”

Title: All The Single Ladies; Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation
Author: Rebecca Traister
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Paperbacks
Copyright: 2016
ISBN: 9781476716572