Tag: Feminism

Books

We Should All Be Feminists

RaeAnna

Read: Yes
Length: 52  
Quick Review: An essay about the importance of feminism. Beginning as a Tedx Talk, Adichie redefines feminism for the new generation of feminists.

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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is one of my favorite authors. If you’re a repeat reader, I’m sure that is clear already. She is one of those writers you cannot ignore. With her unique voice and story telling ability, she has grabbed the attention of the world. I found her about a year ago, in which time, I have read the majority of her works. (I only have Purple Hibiscus left to read.) I am rereading We Should All Be Feminists again because it is just that good.

For the majority of the world when the word feminism is uttered, people immediately and solely think of it as something applying to women or even cared about by women. Feminism is seen as benefiting women.

Adichie begins her essay with a few examples of the differences women face in the world based on their gender. She also turns the idea of feminism on its head by explaining the benefits feminism has for men and boys as well. Without feminism, culture is a hindrance to men because they must conform to the idea of masculinity and “stifle their humanity.” Although Adichie discusses the positives of feminism for men, it is more important for girls. Without feminism women spend their lives defining their place in the world by their relationship to men. 

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Adichie writes succinctly and effectively. There is a fire in her words fueled by anger and hope. She is one of the most talented storytellers, but she is incredibly gifted as a nonfiction writer. Her novels and short stories take the reader to another place, but her essay grounds the reader in reality. Adichie lets the reader get to know her a little.

I can’t recommend We Should All Be Feminists more. The essay should be mandatory reading for everyone. It is an amazing, concise, and quick read. Taking less than half an hour. Sit down and read it the moment you can!

Memorable Quotes
“… both of us bristling with the half-baked knowledge of books we had read.”
“At some point I was a Happy African Feminist Who Does Not Hate Men And Who Likes To Wear Lip Gloss And High Heels For Herself And Not For Men.”
“But our ideas of gender have not evolved very much.”
“… it is one thing to know something intellectually and quite another to feel it emotionally.”
“There are far fewer guides for men about pleasing women.”
“And then we do a much greater disservice to girls, because we raise them to cater to the fragile egos of males.”

Title: We Should All Be Feminists
Author: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Publisher: Anchor Books (Random House)
Copyright: 2012/2014
ISBN: 9781101911761

 

Lifestyle

Dear Black Women

RaeAnna

Dear Black Women, 

Happy Black History Month!

I have a small yet growing following on social media. So I’m going to use that platform to talk about something all month long that is really, really important to me: you.

I am a feminist. I am a white woman. My feminism includes you. My feminism is inclusive.

Women have to deal with some real bullshit. There are some upsides, though. Having to deal with being treated like less, working harder to prove we’re equal, being observed as sexual playthings years before it’s appropriate, and more because there’s a lot bullshit. We’re humans. We deserve respect. We deserve to live our lives our way without fear or judgement or interference from people who have no idea who we are.

I’m white. Those are my experiences. I’m writing this to you because you have different experiences. You don’t have the privileges I do. You have to live life in a way I never will. You have to take precautions I never will. You have to deal with microaggressions and racism I never will. You have to deal with discrimination and harassment and sexuality in ways I never will.

I’m sorry you have to go through that. I wish it weren’t your reality.

Sadly, this world is nowhere near postracial. I love that people think since we had a black president *poof* racism, finito!  Those people died the moment Obama was elected because things are not ok. We – as a country, I didn’t – voted Darth Cheeto into office. Unfortunately, 53% of white women voted for that ass hat wearing mongoloid. (I hate using language like mongoloid but yikes, he’s deficient and it’s dated.) We live in a world where #blacklivesmatter is controversial. WHAT??? Ugh. (Just so we’re clear, I’m pro #blacklivesmatter.) We live in a world where black boys and men and women and children are dying because of the police. We live in a world where 1 out of 3 black males will be incarcerated at some point in their lives. We live in a world where black women wearing their hair natural is seen as a political statement. We live in a world where black women are angry and black men are dangerous. I think the only time I’ve ever heard a black woman yell in real life is at step competitions. Let’s just say, the only men I’ve seen with guns are white. This list can go on and on and on.

We all have biases. That can’t be avoided. I’m sure I have been insensitive. I hope if I am someone points it out to me, so I can learn from that experience. The thing is we can learn and do better and change and make this world fair for our children and our grandchildren. But it takes making an effort, learning, and communicating. We have to take ownership of the past and the present. (This is more of a white people issue.)

It’s sad that we have to have Black History Month. IT SHOULD BE DISCUSSED EVERYDAY!!! It’s important. Your history is my history because we’re people, we’re Americans. We need to recognize the faults we made and the faults we make. If it’s not part of the discussion how will we learn?

This month is an ode to you. Every day, I will post on social media about a fabulous black woman past or present. Narrowing it down to 28 is rough. Some may be famous, and some may be friends of mine. I think it’s important to recognize the accomplishments of women and especially black women because if we see excellence achieved by people similar to ourselves we know it’s possible. If we know it’s possible, we won’t just dream. We will act and be amazing ourselves breaking down gender walls and racial walls. Every success made by a woman and a black woman is a step forward for all of us no matter how small.

Women need to stand together. We have no chance if we don’t. Historically, white women have always benefited from the oppression of woc (women of color). Feminism has been historically white centric. When “women” were fighting to work, woc had been working for years because they didn’t have a choice. When “women” won the right to work, they depended on the low wages of woc to do the things around the house they were no longer doing because men didn’t pick up the slack. White women have benefited from the inequality.

Black women have been the leaders in change but never received any credit. A lot of the actions, ideas, and more that helped gain freedoms for white women originated in black communities… but no one cared until a white voice spoke it. A whole bunch of fashion, music, dance, etc trends over the past centuries, which have been popular in the US, have roots in black communities. Yay cultural appropriation… Totally fair and not at all offensive.

Dear Black Women. You are seen. You are important. You are spectacular. You matter. Your experiences are significant. Your voice should be heard. You are worthy. You are smart. You are funny. You are complex beings with layers upon layers of emotions, experiences, actions, dreams, and more. You deserve the best. You deserve the right to be yourself. (I hate telling women they’re beautiful because there are so many other things I can and should compliment them on, but I don’t think you hear it enough.) You are beautiful. You are a knockout just the way you are.

Love,

RaeAnna
Founder of Bookish Liaisons

P.S. I’m hoping white people read this, and learn something. We can always learn something. I have lots to learn.
P.P.S. To other nonblack women of color. You also matter!
P.P.P.S. Dear White People. If you find yourself angry: good. You obviously need an education. Also there are opinions in here that are my own. The facts I talk about are facts. They cannot be refuted. You may try; I will block you. I hope you learned.

Books

All the Single Ladies

RaeAnna

Read: Yes
Length: 339
Quick Review: An in depth look at the transformation in status, perception, and participation American women have undergone in society through the centuries.

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All the Single Ladies by Rebecca Traister

Rebecca Traister had me hooked when she stated, “I always hated it when my heroines got married” within the first few paragraphs. All the Single Ladies is a look at modern women and where we have come from.

All the Single Ladies is a fun yet in depth look at the history of women with a focus on American women. There are tons of statistics, but you won’t drown in them. The statistics serve a purpose to educate but are still interesting. Traister utilizes her own single life as well as friends, colleagues, and others’ experiences as single women. One thing Traister conveys more than anything else is that singledom is incredibly diverse looking different for everyone.

 Traister is not anti-marriage, anti-male, anti-woman, or anti-single. When she began her journey writing this book, she was a single woman living in New York City. At some point in her life and book journey, she met a man. She is now a married woman with two daughters.

This has been on my reading list for awhile since I am a single lady. For as excited as I was, I was also a touch tentative. Rebecca Traister is a white woman. There is nothing wrong with this. When looking at a subject, there is the tendency to look at people similar to oneself. I was worried there would be a deficiency of inclusivity and diversity of perspective, socio-economic background, race, etc. I was pleasantly surprised. From the beginning, she states that she sites more white, New Yorker writers than most of us probably know. Throughout the book, she does a good job of talking about all women and not just those she identifies with. She spends a great deal of time discussing the disparity between white women and women of color, poor women and middle class/wealthy women, and more. She explores the fact women of color and poor women have enabled wealthier classes of women “freedoms.” How there is a dependency between the two discrepancies. How white women have lead change by co-opting opinions and actions of women of color.

Traister spends a lot of time emphasizing the complexities of women’s issues.

Nothing Traister wrote was groundbreaking. At least, it wasn’t ground breaking or remotely shocking to me. I spend a lot of my time listening to women’s stories and reading about the history and complexities of women’s status in society. If it’s not something you have spent a great deal of time lingering on, there will be lots of information packed into a fairly short book.

(I have fun finding mistakes, and she had one mistake on page 153: the date should be 1938 but reads 1838. Oops! Only off by 100 years.)

I highly suggest this book. It’s interesting and fun. Personally, it rejuvenated my love of being a single woman in America. I would love to hear Traister’s opinions about women’s status post the 2016 presidential election.

Buy on Amazon || Buy on Book Depository

Memorable Quotes
“…these single American women have already shown that they have the power to change America, in ways that make many people extremely uncomfortable.”
“Any time women do anything with their lives that is not in service to others, they are readily perceived as acting perversely.”
“When people call single women selfish for the act of spending on themselves, it’s important to remember that the very acknowledgement that women have selves that exist independently of others, and especially independent of husbands and children, is revolutionary.”
““It takes a lot to qualify a man as selfish”” Amina Sow
“The state must play its role in supporting a population that no longer lives and dies within a family unit.”
“at the heart of independence lies money.”
“When it comes to female liberty and opportunity, history sets an extremely low bar.”
“women’s maternal status is often treated as the singularly interesting thing about them”

Title: All The Single Ladies; Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation
Author: Rebecca Traister
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Paperbacks
Copyright: 2016
ISBN: 9781476716572

 

Books, Fiction

Blueprints for Building Better Girls

RaeAnna

Read Yes
Length 288
Quick Review A collection of eight stories loosely connected exploring the pressures of being female in a rapidly changing world.

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Elissa Schappell tries to approach the issues of modern womanhood with her collection of Blueprints for Building Better Girls. She approaches issues concerning women: sexual assault, rape, motherhood, working, miscarriage, marriage, education, and eating disorders. The women in Schappell’s stories are post-modern women trying to carve out their own paths, but are constantly bombarded with advice from the old guard. Many women eventually succumb to the roles their mother’s filled. Even the characters who go against the traditional have a subconscious voicing the opinions of the older generation. This voice comes out in their opinions of other women; always critiquing and judging other women on their appearance, look, and life choices. The stories are all told from the female perspective. Motherhood, being the perfect mom. The story also explores the complexities of a mother-daughter relationship from both viewpoints of mother and daughter. It also has a brief glimpse into the influence men can have on women as husbands, fathers, brothers, and people in society.

Schappell writes with moments of true insight into the essence of womanhood. She crafts some truly lovely sentences, which scream to be quoted. The stories are loosely linked as some characters or their actions show up in the stories of others. I enjoyed this component of the book, but I also found it highly confusing. Anytime a character was named, I was trying to figure out where I had, if I had, seen them before in the book; it encouraged active reading, but also created a sort of chunkiness to the flow. There were stories with a high level of interaction with the book as a whole; while others called their real importance into question for the collection as a whole.

One of my favorite stories was “Out of the Blue and into the Black.” The main character, Belinda/Bender, is a young woman in college trying to find her own way in the world while figuring out how to live her life on campus after her friend, a main character from another story, was raped by a fraternity boy. Bender was there the night her friend was raped; she feels like she is the only one who remembers her friend and her struggle. The most interesting part of this story was when she calls attention to the fact her guy friends were in an uproar when they found out about the rape. The guys said they would go and beat him up. Another said he would talk to the fraternity president because they needed to know. After time passed and nothing happened, Bender realized it was just male bravado. Men act upset but never actually do anything. The friend who said he’d talk to the president kept brushing it off saying it was a “private issue.” I think this moment in the story makes a point about how swept under the rug and how common place and how ignored and how accepted rape is by the gender who commits it the majority of the time.

The stories take place in different time periods with different aged protagonists from different backgrounds. The majority of the women were educated, middle-class women, all assumably white. The perspective and narrator differs from story to story. This allows for each story to stand apart from the other, but it causes some difficulty with cohesiveness.

Overall, I really enjoyed the book. I don’t think it makes sense entirely as a whole. Each part is really wonderful. Schappell brings attention to a lot of important issues women deal with throughout history and will continue to experience for a long time to come.

Memorable Quotes
“If I stopped him, we’d have to talk. The last thing I wanted to do is talk.”
“I don’t know why he’s so desperate to name me.”
“The label was slut, not charity worker.”
“People have always hated strong women. They fear we’re one turkey-baster away from abolishing men.”
“At least she’d lost weight. Ten pounds in three weeks. What did her mother always say? You have such a pretty face.”
“What did a woman who didn’t want children want? Or what did she want more than children? It was creepy.”
“Still, it wouldn’t be the worst thing to never see my mother again.”

Title: Blueprints for Building Better Girls
Author: Elissa Schappell
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Copyright: 2011
ISBN: 9780743276702