Books, NonFiction

Confronting Death in It’s Your Funeral by Kathy Benjamin

Worth A Read Yes
Length 182
Quick Review Death comes to us all, but we can prepare for it. Kathy Benjamin helps people understand death, funerals, and how to prepare with a sense of humor and creativity while honoring traditions in this lovely little book. 

I figured a cemetery would be the most appropriate location for these pictures… Or a morgue, but they said no. Weird.

I am pro talking about death. I always have been. It might be the realist in me; it might be the fact I’ve seen the downsides of not talking about death; it might be my dark sense of humor; it might be that I love making people uncomfortable; it might be all the near death experiences I’ve had; it might be that I’m chronically ill. It’s probably all of those things combined. When I saw that Quirk was publishing this, I hopped on the chance to read it. I support transparency and talking about hard things. Death is one of those unavoidable things in life, and it makes people so squirmy. Kathy Benjamin takes on death and funerals in her funny yet profoundly informative It’s Your Funeral.

Going through the process of preparing for our very last hurrah in our honor, Benjamin talks about options, remains, funerals, wills, and more in three parts that encompassing knowing your options, planning the party, and ensuring your memory is what you want it to be as best as possible or Part I. It’s Your Body, Part II. It’s Your Funeral, and Part III. It’s Your Legacy. 

Death is scary, and Benjamin gets to the heart of one of the many reasons for fear: lack of control. Once we’re gone, we have no control of what happens to us, our life’s work, and how we’re remembered. By taking control of those things ourselves before we’re gone, we can have a semblance of control in the after, and Benjamin creates a comprehensive guide to tackling this feat. 

Filled with amazingly poignant and comical moments, Benjamin realistically talks about death. The ways to get rid of a body from the traditional to historical to cultural to unique with honesty and as little grossness as possible. Culture plays a big role in death and the traditions surrounding it, and It’s Your Funeral notes many traditions in other cultures and religions. Did you know that “In Bhutan, often rated the happiest nation in the world, it’s considered important to reflect on death five times a day.”

Funerals are the last hurrah. They can be fun, sad, celebratory, reminiscent, really anything at all, but “The theme for most funerals is basically just “grief.”” Lots of information is included on: what people traditionally are buried with and what they can bring with them; weird post-death doings by eccentric people; important things to think about; how to get creative; ideas; and more. A list of famous and interesting cemeteries are included in case you want some ideas or travel destinations. Serious to humorous quotes from real memorials, monuments, and epitaphs are listed for those who want ideas.

Honestly, a really funny book. If you couldn’t tell by the cover design. 10/10

Wills are important. Having witnessed this in my extended family, I can attest to the truth of “What does happen all the time is that people die without a will and all hell breaks loose.” It’s Your Funeral spells out exactly why and how to create a will. One of the most important things you can and should do for those you’ll leave behind. Please, if for no one else do it for me, create a will and a living will. I have both.

I love a good worksheet, and I’m assuming Benjamin does too, as there are many throughout this delightfully morbid book. To help process thoughts, emotions, wishes for your after life journey. These worksheets will help get your creative juices flowing, while you still can. They’re not all strictly serious, as in the “Haunting Game Plan” for those hoping to dawdlishly pass on.

I really enjoyed this one. Benjamin does an excellent job of balancing the information with humor; gravity with levity; tradition with creativity; American with global. For those wanting to broach the topic of planning what happens after for themselves or a loved one, It’s Your Funeral by Kathy Benjamin  is a really instructive place to start.

Memorable Quotes
“It’s almost more terrifying than dying: the thought that, one day, your whole life will likely be forgotten. Take a moment to gaze existentially out the window…”
“Sure, you’ll be dead, so it’s not your problem, but if you want to ensure things go smoothly after you die, write the freaking will.”

bisous un обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: It’s Your Funeral! Plan the Celebration of a Lifetime—Before It’s too Late
Author: Kathy Benjamin
Publisher: Quirk Books
Copyright: 2021
ISBN: 9781683692584

Books, NonFiction

Life Will Be the Death of Me by Chelsea Handler

Worth a Read Yes
Length 256
Quick Review Chelsea Handler’s never been afraid of the truth. In her latest memoir, she sits with personal trauma in a way she has not before. Laugh out loud funny with a serious edge.

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Photo shoots with a dog are exhausting. Life Will Be the Death of Me by Chelsea Handler isn’t.

I love Chelsea Handler. I have read several of her books and watched her TV show fairly religiously. When I saw she had a new book coming out, I had to have it. Life Will Be the Death of Me is still laugh out loud funny, but she tackles her mental health in a serious way.

Chelsea Handler has made her living making people laugh. I think it’s easier to make people laugh in person than on the page, but I have always been giggling with my nose in her books. Life Will Be the Death of Me deals with death in a serious way. Her brother died when she was very young, and that experience changed her and her family forever. Throughout the book, she talks about her grieving process several decades after his death. She visits a psychiatrist, who helps her work through her issues.

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We can be cute. I had to hide a treat in my cleavage….

I love her writing style and voice in Life Will Be the Death of Me. She’s one of those people whose voice shines through anything she touches. It’s probably one of the reasons she is so successful. I think for the first time in her books – I have not read all of them, don’t quote me – she spends more time being serious than being funny. Her honesty and self reflection are brilliant.  

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She’s not eating the apple. Treat in my hand. She’s eating my hand.

My two favorite parts of Handler’s memoir are this quote: “How can it be that a swab of saliva can determine a dog’s genetic heritage yet there isn’t a more precise way to determine the age of a dog at this juncture in modern society?” We are both rescue dog moms. As the proud mama of a rescue dog, I identify this on a very deep level. I wish I knew the age of my dog, but I do not. Also one running theme throughout Life Will be the Death of Me is her anger towards Trump. There is a lot, a LOT of anger being funneled in his direction, and I love it. I personally think almost all evil is his fault, at this point in time. Darth Cheeto sucks donkey balls.

If you want some laughs and some insight. I say check out Chelsea Handler’s latest book Life Will Be the Death of Me. If nothing else, you’ll giggle a few times, and there are really cute pictures of her dogs and family.

Memorable Quotes
“Having an older brother is a lot like a crush – in fact, it is a crush.”
“No person is just one thing.”

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Title: Life Will Be the Death of Me
Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Spiegel & Grau
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9780525511779

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What a winner. Dog butt.