Culture – …on the B.L.

Worth A Read Definitely
Length 303
Quick Review Jia Tolentino is the kind of writer who proves the pen can be sharper than a sword. She cuts through bullshit in Trick Mirror, her collection of observational essays on American culture.

Reading Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino | Skirt | Shirt | Watch | Earrings | Ring

I want to be Jia Tolentino’s friend. a) I think we have a lot in common. b) She’s probably smarter than me, so she’d be interesting to talk to. c) I have a feeling she’s hilarious. Tolentino is a writer for The New Yorker, and after reading Trick Mirror, I’m not surprised. It is a brilliant combination of observation and critique of modern American culture. She spares no one, including herself, as tackles reality TV, politics, feminism, marriage, poverty, religion, the housing crisis, college debt, and so much more.

Trick Mirror is like reading a book about sticking it to the man, but really it’s about the institution of everything. Tolentino has strong opinions but the brains and eloquence to back them up. I have a huge list of quotes, and I could probably discuss this book at length, but I will keep this manageable.

Tolentino is a strong, independent woman, and it oozes through in every part of her writing. For me, the most memorable moments spoke to feminism and gender inequity. Women are at a disadvantage in this world; that’s not knew. Tolentino brings a beautiful perspective to the issue laced with anger.

“When you are a woman, the things you like get used against you. Or, alternatively, the things that get used against you have all been prefigured as things you should like. Sexual availability falls into this category. So does basic kindness, and generosity. Wanting to look good – taking pleasure in trying to look good – does, too.”

Basically. You’re fucked if you do, fucked if you don’t. In a busy world of technology and the constant need to go, improve, work, and succeed, optimization seems to be on everyone’s mind. It is even more prevalent for women.

“The ideal woman has always been conceptually overworked, an inorganic thing engineered to look natural. Historically, the ideal woman seeks all the things that women are trained to find fun and interesting – domesticity, physical self-improvement, male approval, the maintenance of congeniality, various forms of unpaid work. The concept of the ideal woman is just flexible enough to allow for a modicum of individuality; the ideal woman always believes she came up with herself on her own.”

There has always been a pressure on women, but it has never existed like it does today with the advent of technology and social media. Women are under constant scrutiny from the people they know to complete strangers. Tolentino speaks about the oppression and subjugation women deal with on a daily basis masquerading as free will, love, freedom, and more. I personally identified with the very last chapter, “I Thee Dread” and the sentiment “becoming a bride still means being flattered into submission.” Tolentino doesn’t even spare love.

Fun fact I previously didn’t know: Louisiana still requires children to take the husband’s last name for a birth certificate to be issued. Fuck Louisiana!

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I read a lot. My favorite books tend to be classical literature. In the span of a few paragraphs, Trick Mirror discusses all of my favorite books: House of Mirth, Tess of the D’Urbervilles, Madame Bovary, The Awakening, The Second Sex, and Tolentino sums up the plight of female characters quite nicely, “Adult heroines commit suicide for different reasons than teenage heroines do. Where the teenagers have been drained of all desire, the adults are so full of desire that it kills them. Or, rather, they live under conditions where ordinary desire makes them fatally monstrous.”

If you’re into essays, nonfiction, or reading about how fucked up society is, Jia Tolentino and Trick Mirror are for you. She’s witty and engaging. Bringing her personal stories and rooting them in the problems the world. She’s relatable and interesting. I personally identified with the whole book, but I’ll leave you with this gem, “I don’t want to be diminished, and I do want to be glorified – not in one shining moment, but whenever I want.”

Memorable Quotes
” Even as we became increasingly sad and ugly on the internet, the mirage of the better online self continued to glimmer.”
“There was something, maybe, about that teenage religious environment, the way everyone was always flirting and posturing and attempting to deceive one another, that set us up remarkably well for reality TV.”
“The Trump administrations is so baldly anti-woman that the women within it have been regularly scanned and criticized for their complicity, as well as for their empty references to feminism.”

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Title: Trick Mirror; Reflections on Self Delusion
Author: Jia Tolentino
Publisher: Random House
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9780525510543

I recently saw this jar of tampons in a unisex bathroom in a Houston restaurant. I got to thinkin’.

I want to talk about tampons. I get to talk about tampons because this is my blog, and I can talk about anything I want. Today, it’s tampons. You do not have to be here or read this or care about my opinions.

It’s not that I love talking about tampons. It’s more of a need. There’s a need to talk about them. Tampons make people uncomfortable. Tampons make women uncomfortable. Talking about them; we wear them just fine. Tampons make men uncomfortable. Tampons completely bewilder men. How is it that half of the population has almost no clue how tampons work? I have dated a handful of men, and none of them knew how a tampon worked. (I once showed my college boyfriend how they worked.) There are girls out there who don’t know how tampons work. Insanity! Do not make girls wear the mini, sticky diapers, I mean, pads. Unless that’s their choice. Then, I’m just in disagreement with their life choices.

Periods, in general, elude men. I found out recently a whole section of men think women can just hold it. “It” being our periods. I’m pretty phenomenal and impressive, but I can’t hold my period. I don’t know any woman who can. It shows up whenever it wants to. It’s like a hurricane or an earthquake. There are signs, but once it’s on its way, there’s no stopping it. Mother nature is miraculous. Periods differ from pee. They come out completely different holes. Spoiler the urethra and the vagina are different. One is for pee. One is for babies and sexy time. There is bladder control, but there’s no such thing as uterine lining shedding control. That’s why women NEED tampons or pads or diva cups or Thinx (I had to google “magic period underwear” cause I couldn’t remember what they’re called) or whatever other weird invention is out there.

I don’t blame men or women for not knowing about tampons or periods. The education system is failing us. This is a basic bodily function like peeing or shitting. It happens. It’s nature. Everyone should know about it. Everyone should know about tampons and the other contraptions. Tampons make it easier for women to carry on with our lives. It’s far better than being sent to a tent outside the city for a week. (Although, there are times when that doesn’t seem half bad. Especially if the tent has a spa or pool boys.)

In April, my period showed up unexpectedly while I was at to Axpona, an audio expo, with my dad. My dad, bless his heart, is immune to period talk because I grew up in a house where it was normal!!!! Periods happen. My dad never had a problem buying tampons or grabbing one from the bathroom for me. It’s life; he’s a good dude. During the unexpected visit from my underwear demon, I had no tampons with me. I was at an expo made up of 98% men, and the only place with tampons was a CVS kiosk. I bought the box; it was the only option. My mom tried to make me hide the box in my tiny purse. I didn’t. I walked through the many, many men, who were all around my dad’s age, with a box of tampons on full display. My mom was embarrassed. I was not. The men either didn’t notice or didn’t care. Either way, the only person who cared was my mom. Periods happen. Tampons help. We should never be embarrassed by either one.

I always get excited when I see unisex bathrooms. I think they’re great. What makes me even happier is when I see tampons in a bathroom. Recently, I was in a unisex bathroom with a counter. The only thing on the counter was a glass jar of tampons [pictured above]. This seems small, but it’s really not. It’s kind to the women who need tampons. More importantly, it’s a step in the right direction towards normalizing the female body and all that goes with it. Like tampons.

There are so many things I could talk about when it comes to tampons. Tax. Diva cups. Stigma. Education. Toxic shock syndrome. Plastic. Chemicals. Fertility. The list goes on. I have opinions, obviously. My biggest issue surrounding tampons is the stigma. I want it to disappear. Until a doctor will give me a hysterectomy (I keep asking), I will have a period and a need for tampons. I’m going to say “tampon” and “period” with as many decibels as is necessary. Never will I speak in hushed tones or try and hide a tampon to make other people feel comfortable.

This is life. Periods, literally, help bring life into this world. So… yep!

Tag: Culture

Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino

I Will Say “Tampon”