Books, NonFiction

Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari

Read Yes
Length 279
Quick Review Aziz Ansari is as confused with the world of love and dating as the rest of us are, so he wrote a book about it.

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Aziz Ansari talks about how much he loves food in Modern Romance, so I had an ice cream at Twisty Treat. | Romper (best thing ever) | Flippy Floppies | Sunglasses

Love is tough. Kinda like life. Love, dating, relationships, breakups, and marriage (probably not in that order) have changed in my [dating] lifetime, and it has certainly changed over the past couple of generations. Aziz Ansari decided to write Modern Romance about the conditions people face when existing in the dating world. He worked with researchers so it would be more than observational humor. There is a lot of science in this one and some laughs.

Ansari begins with the basics of what dating used to be like. For a woman: Need man or die. For a man: Need woman or no babies, no help, no food, no sex, no one to come home to. 🙁 Dating changed, but still had some of those basic elements in the last century. Most people married for love instead of need, but the marriage age was far lower and people made due with who was in the viscinity. Now, marriage is not necessary for survival. People are searching for soul mates instead of a good enough mate. Also, the internet. Game changer in Modern Romance because there weren’t tons of options outside of the ‘where I am located.’ Now, internet dating and apps make the WHOLE world open.

One thing I really appreciate is Ansari went out of his way to acknowledge how love and dating is still different for men and women, “If you were a woman, you had far less time to find a man. True love? This guy has a job and a decent mustache. Lock it down, girl.” No shit. Romance is still different for women today because, well, lots of reasons. Ansari did not make it seem like everything is the same for men and women because it’s not.

The book explored dating in the United States and the world through focus groups in New York, Tokyo, Paris, and Buenos Aires. There were also conversations had with women in Qatar and other places in the U.S. Honestly, the dating scene sounds pretty horrific in Tokyo, Buenos Aires, and Qatar. The focus groups and science helped bring a lot of credence to what Ansari was saying, and it also proves a lot of personal observations to be fact and not just observations.

Modern Romance isn’t all just science and statistics. It’s pretty funny. Ansari has a tendency towards hilarious and prolonged tangents. If you’ve ever heard me tell a story, this is something I do and appreciate. I also discovered, Ansari and I have a similar approach to choosing restaurants and a passion for food. Although, I don’t think this is terrible special considering everyone I spend time around has an incredible passion for the culinary arts.

Side Notes:

  • Aziz, I hope it worked out for you and the juicer.
  • Statistic: iPhone users are twice as likely to sext as Android users. Android users are by and large nerdier than iPhone users. We (Android users) have less opportunity or second party interest to sext…. It’s not our fault.
  • The young, body, sex positive women give me so much hope. I wish I had that kind of confidence at their age.

All in all, Modern Romance was not at all what I expected. It was very interesting and funny. I wouldn’t say I learned a ton, but I read a whole bunch. I’ve also done my fair share of dating the old fashioned way and via technology, so the love truths were duhs from me.

Memorable Quotes
“Today, if you own a smartphone, you’re carrying a 24-7 singles bar in your pocket.”
“Nowadays the Internet is my chubby friends. It is the whole world’s chubby friend.”

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Title: Modern Romance
Author: Aziz Ansari
With: Eric Klinenberg
Publisher: Penguin Press (Penguin Random House/Penguin Group)
Copyright: 2015
ISBN: 9781594206276

 

Books

Cancel the Wedding

Read Yes
Length 416
Quick Review After her mother’s death, a young woman realizes how little she knows about her mother and herself. She goes on a journey to find both with her niece by her side.

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In Dingman’s debut novel she writes a sweet novel filled with family ties, mystery, love, history, and southern small town charm. It’s an easy read which screams to be read on the beach during a hot summer vacation.

Olivia has it all a stable fiancé, a high powered career, a life in Washington DC, and now a wedding date. When everything in her life couldn’t seem more stable, she decides to head south to a small town in Georgia with her niece to discover the past her mother left behind a long time ago. She has no idea what she will find and even less of an idea of how to find it. Guided by a short note in her mother’s will and determination, she sets off on what was meant to be a long weekend.

Behind the sweet façade of a story, Dingman explores the complex issue of a mother-daughter relationship. She uses Olivia and her sister, Georgia, to look into the relationship daughters have with their mothers as adults, and Georgia and her daughter, Logan, to show the difficulty both daughters and mothers go through to establish a sense of self and a link to one another. 

As the title suggest, Cancel the Wedding, delves into idea of a wedding and a marriage being linked yet separate identities. So often, it is easy to focus on the traditional steps of creating a life – meeting, dating, engagement, buying property, wedding – that one can forget the life after the wedding, and also lose oneself in the planning. Because life isn’t simple, Dingman is able to complicate her characters’ lives, so they have to sort out what means the most.

Cancel the Wedding is not a literary feat, but it is a great first novel appealing to a wide scope of readers with a penchant for romance and mystery.

Memorable Quotes
“You really only have a passionate row if you feel completely confident that you can get through it, or if you’re using it as the hand grenade tossed over your shoulder on your way out the door.”
“It took a lot of smoke and mirrors and subterfuge to make the world see you the way you wanted them to.”
“I was starting to get that prickly feeling again about not wanting to get married.”

Title: Cancel the Wedding
Author: Carolyn T. Dingman
Publisher: HarperCollins
Copyright: 2014
ISBN: 9780062276728