Tag: GoodReads

Books, Fiction

Complexities of Being an Artist in We Play Ourselves

RaeAnna

Read Yes
Length 326
Overall Feels Solid
Gay Vibes 10/10
Drink Pairing Cheap Vodka and Sprite with a Pineapple Slice
⭐⭐⭐⭐

Writing about the inner life of a writer is a difficult feat.

Writing about the inner life of a writer who’s making questionable—sometimes just bad—decisions while she’s in the midst of a scandal and manages to get caught up in the chaos of other artists’ lives is exactly what Jen Silverman does in We Play Ourselves.

Cass leaves her beloved New York in disgrace for Los Angeles after an incident with another playwright. Staying with friends, her neighbor is a talentedly eccentric film maker, following a group of teenage girls to document their reimagination of Fight Club. Along the way, Cass runs into her NYC nemesis on her meandering and often dead-ended path towards happiness and success as a queer woman in her thirties. 

Silverman creates a fully formed human in the character of Cass. She is simultaneously unlikeable, relatable, and completely captivating. An artist at heart, she reacts [poorly] to criticism. And don’t we all, at times. History is full of disgruntled artists retaliating. What unfolds is Cass’s interactions with a diverse cast of characters with hearts of artists and critics. Each one is human in surprising and predictable ways. There is a complexity and fullness to even the minorest of players. Life is full of chaos, humor, and big feelings. Silverman tackles that throughout the novel without ever looking away from the [dark] comedy of searching for meaning and motivation: “Unrelated to sex. Ambition is all desire, all the time. So is success. I’d take success over sex.” Even in the smallest observations, there is an approachableness. Everyone, on some level, can understand the pull of sex and success as well as their fleeting nature. Silverman’s humor is in their affecting and realistic take on everything. Because as humans, we understand what they’re saying even if the thought hasn’t occurred to us personally. It’s ridiculously easy to empathize with the choice of success over sex because one has a tendency to last longer with a bigger dopamine hit. 

The writing really is superb. Not only is the narrative searing, funny, and insightful, Silverman organizes their novel to keep their readers thumbing the pages. The question: “What happened?” is never far from mind. Silverman gives just enough without giving much at all. In a mastery of making us care about Cass while she makes a plethora of poor choices, there is still a looming knowledge of finding out an even bigger poor choice. We Play Ourselves is smoke and mirrors before you even start reading. The back cover will lead you to believe you’re embarking on a story going in one direction, but that’s not the leading plot but a compelling subplot. 

Throughout, Silverman is constantly making poignant observations on the human condition and the gray area people live in. Each of the characters in We Play Ourselves is ultimately doing their best for the greater good, yet the greater good is all dependent on their perspective. It is both the normalization and vilification of emotional manipulation for perceived positive change. Thematically, the novel [and life] can best be summed up, “Because doing your best isn’t necessarily an excuse for doing damage. | Sometimes you do an awful lot of damage. | And that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.” Do your best, but, sometimes, it’s just not good enough. I get it, Silverman. I’ve been saying the same for forever. You just said it better and more entertainingly than I ever have.

As a queer, thirty-something writer, Cass feels like a more successful and publicly disastrous version of my internal self. The absolute most resonating and insightful moment in the entire book for me is taken from an observation made during a conversation between Cass and her father: “Sixty-five, and he hadn’t even finished leading all the lives he was going to lead.” I love it. It is hope that something different if not better lies ahead. Who we were doesn’t have to be who we are or who we will become.

We Play Ourselves is an exploration of failing, striving, and the diversity one life can be.

Jen Silverman is an exceptional storyteller.  

Memorable Quotes
“I watched my parents give up on understanding. But lack of understanding is not a lack of love. Not always.”
“”And it’s not not you. But it’s a version. And the more time passes, the more people only know the version. And the more time you spend as the version. And then it’s like: Well, which one is the version and which one is real?””
“Joy is a tricky proposition. I would rather invest in granite countertops.

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

Buy on Amazon

Title: We Play Ourselves
Author: Jen Silverman
Publisher: Random House
Copyright: 2021
ISBN: 9780399591549

Books, Fiction

Lesbian Love, Affair of Poisons, and Abuse in The Disenchantment by Celia Bell

RaeAnna

Read Yes
Length 368
Overall Feels I wanted more gay.
Gay Vibes 8/10
Drink Pairing A slightly watered down, iced oat milk latte.
⭐⭐

A girl reading The Disenchantment by Celia Bell in a candlelit and petal filled bath and drinking a cup of tea.
I wish all my baths looked like this.

I am disenchanted with The Disenchantment.

I firmly believe the world needs more queer literature, so I’m glad this book exists to help create more visibility. Especially as it tackles queerness for women in history. Depicting one of the many ways that has played out throughout history. I wanted to love this one, but I don’t love it. The overall book feels like it is being pulled in two directions and neither are particularly well portrayed: being a lesbian in a society and time that does not condone or allow it and surviving an abusive marriage in a society and time that condones and allows it. Basically, as a woman, you’re fucked if you do, fucked if you don’t. The main character in The Disenchantment is fucked all around except in the most literal way.

As both a lesbian and survivor of domestic violence at the hands of men… I could not connect with this book, and I really should have. Marie Catherine is a Baroness in Paris during the Affair of Poisons. She’s married to a physically and emotionally abusive older man with whom she has two young children. She is having an affair with another noblewoman. There’s storytelling and an artist who gets caught up in the whole thing. There was so much potential in this not-so-little novel, but my attention was not kept. I think I read four books in the time it took me to get through this one. 

Cover of The Disenchantment by Celia Bell in a candlelit and petal filled bath.
I had more fun taking these pictures than reading this book.

The plot is muddy, while the narrative is meandering. Bell is tackling too many massive topics in one debut novel. If she would have focused on a singular theme, the book would have benefited and had a larger impact. 

I desperately wanted to love this because it is all about the lady-gay, female empowerment, overcoming obstacles, and surviving abuse. Unfortunately, I just could not get on board with it. I expect great things from Celia Bell, but this was not it.

Memorable Quotes
“So Marie Catherine had quietly believed for years that she had been made with something lacking, and any spark of inclination that she might feel for a man in company was a short-lived thing that fizzled out after the first imaginary movement of love. Then she had met Victoire de Conti.” … “She didn’t love as some women did.”
“”I forgive you.” She said it as if she were a priest who had the power to offer absolution. And, for a moment, she felt that she did, as if the words had lit a candle flame inside her mouth that burned with the light of her love. She did not, would never, believe that flame was the flame of hell. Not if every confessor in France lined up to tell her that she was damned.” 

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

Buy on Amazon

Title: The Disenchantment
Author: Celia Bell
Publisher: Pantheon
Copyright: 2023
ISBN: 9780593317174

Books, NonFiction, Travel

Dame Traveler by Nastasia Yakoub; Exploration of the Feminine Gaze

RaeAnna

Read Yes
Length 215
Overall Feels Awe
Gay Vibes Unfortunately nonesies
Drink Pairing Sombai 
⭐⭐⭐⭐

A woman standing on Brighton Beach in Melbourne looking at Bathing Boxes, holding Dame Traveler.
I’m a dame traveler. While I was on the biggest trip I’ve ever taken, I met the woman I call my partner in Australia. So now, I have one exceptionally amazing reason to travel even more.

Women are amazing. I am obsessed with them. I’m also lucky enough to be a lesbian [maybe not “lucky” in the political sense…], so I’ve gotten to know women as humans, friends, adventurers, lovers, coworkers, and more. 

In a world where women are still a minority after millenia of subjugation, they never cease to defy convention and live their lives unabashedly. I’m sure throughout history, there have been countless women who have done the same in their own extraordinary ways, but the vast majority have been lost to history through erasure and a failure to see the importance and document… Thanks, men. 

With the rise of social media—also education, healthcare, right to vote, legal protection, employment, status as almost human, etc, but that was just the groundwork for what women do on Instagram—women have visibility, representation, autonomy, and power in a completely unprecedented way. Women are living their lives publicly. And they’re doing it in a really aesthetically pleasing way. But pretty pictures in cool places is not what Dame Traveler by Nastasia Yakoub is really showcasing. It’s about women untethered. Women who are not afraid to see the world alone, with others, on their own terms, and document it. The fact women feel important enough to document themselves, their travels, their lives, their art is a feat in and of itself. The world has finally arrived at a place where women are deemed human enough to be interesting enough to care enough to give us space enough to exist. Not only are women doing it and posting about it, there are now books in bookstores for little girls, little boys, and little theys to see and make their own dreams.

A woman standing on Brighton Beach in Melbourne looking at Bathing Boxes, holding Dame Traveler.
While my girlfriend was at work, I did some touristy things… like take pictures in front of the iconic Bathing Boxes at Brighton Beach in Melbourne, Australia.

This is an interesting book to review because it is mostly an amalgam of pictures by creators from around the world, whose work has been showcased on Yakoub’s curated instagram account @dametraveler. There are snippets from contributors as well as information and tips about certain locations. Yakoub could have created a book dedicated to her own travels and photography. Instead, she used this opportunity to support and document incredible women who believe enough to do. Divided into sections on architecture, water, culture, and nature, Dame Traveler delves into a photographic exploration of the diverse feminine gaze of a world too large for any one person to experience fully. So, for those of us who are trying to know the world in its entirety, we must turn to beautiful collections like this to explore, learn, and grow. 

Yakoub curated a stunning book. The only thing stopping me from grabbing my passport and leaving permanently is my dogs and bank account. Until then, this will be sitting on my coffee table to daydream through.  

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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A woman standing on Brighton Beach in Melbourne looking at Bathing Boxes, holding Dame Traveler.
I loved this day. It was so good.

Title: Dame Traveler; Live the Spirit of Adventure
Author: Nastasia Yakoub
Publisher: Ten Speed Press
Copyright: 2020
ISBN: 9781984857910

Books, Fiction

The Twelve Dates of Christmas by Jenny Bayliss

RaeAnna

Worth A Read Eh
Length 340
Quick Review Single and independent Kate is coerced into a dating service consisting of twelve dates with twelve men by her best friend in Blexford, England. 

I really don’t know what I’m doing, but whatever!

It’s a cute yet predictable story—I feel like I will probably say that a few times over the course of my Christmas book reviews this year and for the rest of eternity because I have yet to find a revolutionary one. Anyways, The Twelve Dates of Christmas is cute. Frankly, give me anything set in England and I’ll like it more than I would if it’s set in the U.S.

Kate is an artist. Having moved to her hometown of Blexford to be with her father, she’s been single in a small town for a good bit. She’s a smart and sassy sweetheart with a fierce independence that makes it hard for her to find a partner. Though Kate has all but given up on a happily ever after, her best friend, Laura, has not and convinces her to join a dating agency that will send her on twelve dates with twelve different men spanning the Christmas season. At the age of 34, Kate has very much decided she’s not searching for passion but compatibility. Throughout the Christmas season, she spends her time with her best friend Matt, Laura, and all the vibrant characters decorating the town. 

Like all romance novels, the characters are ridiculously over the top, but I personally enjoyed “The Knitting Sex Kittens were a formidable group of women, all over age sixty and all single, by either design, divorce, or death.” The town and characters are saturated in Christmas joy and cheer, and, let’s be honest, that is the only reason I read this or any Christmas novel at all. I’m here for the Christmas spirit. 

Kate is an ambitious woman with lots to give but she ends up having many conversations along the lines of: ““I’m not looking for sparkle, Dad,” said Kate. “I am on a grown-up-woman mission to find a suitable, sensible partner who has no improper pride and is perfectly amiable.”” As a single woman in my thirties, I can, in some ways, identify with the want to search out compatibility over passion, but, and luckily Kate does figure it out, both is an option and the best option. 

The biggest problem I had with The Twelve Dates of Christmas were the grammatical errors and typos. I’m not even going to blame Bayliss for this because the copy editor should have caught it. For me it was distracting, but the average reader probably won’t even pick up on it. I’m going to call this: editor problems. As in most rom-com books, the character development is lack luster at best, but it’s a fun, easy read to take our minds off the holiday stresses. 

You can put this one on your holiday reading list to enjoy. 

Memorable Quotes
“Kate had to admit that her regime of pajamas, toast, and telly by seven thirty every night was not conducive to establishing a satisfying sex life.”
“But for her, contentment waned quite quickly to become a faint questioning, which bloomed into nagging doubt and ultimately wholehearted assuredness that it wasn’t right. Laura called it self-sabotage. Kate called it gut instinct.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

Buy on Amazon | Buy on Book Depository

Title: The Twelve Dates of Christmas
Author: Jenny Bayliss
Publisher: Putnam 
Copyright: 2020
ISBN: 9780593085387

Books, Fiction

The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives by Lọlá Shónẹ́yìn Explores Specific Yet Universal Themes

RaeAnna

Worth A Read Yes
Length 304
Quick Review Shónẹ́yìn tackles universal themes by exploring the interior lives of four Nigerian women through the secrets they keep in a conservative, polygamist family.

Enjoying the sun with The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives. || Dress || Jewelry

Lọlá Shónẹ́yìn creates a horrifying family dynamic in The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives, which seizes and disgusts the reader in equal parts. Reading it is akin to watching an imminent trainwreck but in a fun way. Baba Segi, the patriarch, brings home Bolanle, educated wife number four, who shifts the family dynamic so drastically that she unintentionally reveals a well-guarded family secret. 

Shónẹ́yìn is able to explore universal tropes and themes with grace and humor while grounding the plot and characters in a highly specific setting of a Nigerian polygamist family. Though I cannot relate to the setting having never been to Nigeria, in a polygamist marriage, or being a Nigerian woman, I can so clearly relate to the experiences and struggles of the characters. Shónẹ́yìn is adept at creating ubiquity in a situation that does not overtly read as relatable.     

Baba Segi does not care about the family dynamic or his wives as long as things carry on peacefully in his presence. A flatulent and hefty man, he is completely oblivious to his wives’ lives and relationships in the living room and in the bedroom. He prefers to be catered to like the savior he sees himself to be. Yet everything he has so carelessly thrown together crumbles when wife number four cannot produce a child with her broken womb no matter how vehemently he thrusts. 

Society often perpetuates the importance placed on women as glorified human incubators, and Shónẹ́yìn allows this theme to blatantly sing through each page. Yet it cannot be any more obvious than in the small moments of the book. Baba Segi’s wives are only allowed to sit in a comfortable chair in the living room once they become mothers; if they do not produce children, they are relegated to a stool or the floor. These small details reinforce the world these women live in. Their humanity is intrinsically tied to their children, so they keep secrets to survive.

Sexual politics are omnipresent within the family as each wife grapples for attention and power. With distinct stories and secrets, the wives are drawn to the refuge of Baba Segi’s home. Bolanle stands apart as the childless, educated wife. Some are cruel, some are kind, they have all seen struggle, and Shónẹ́yìn humanizes their cruelty. The depictions ultimately lead to a representation of how vicious and cyclical the patriarchy’s determination is to confine and silence strong and resilient women, as they all are in their own unique ways. The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives elegantly sums up the reality for so many living, breathing women, “The choices we have to make in this world are hard and bitter. Sometimes we have no choices at all.” Women are often forced to survive by working within the constraints of choices other people make, and these wives are no different. Their actions and cruelties are a means of self preservation and survival. 

Rape is one of those awful yet universal themes. It happens. A lot. Rape, assault, and sexual violence has been an eternal part of the female narrative (though it does not solely affect women); Shónẹ́yìn tackles it without hesitation. From the act to consequences, rape is as much a character of the novel as the wives. One of the most poignant moments, for me, is when Bolanle opens up to her mother and is met with, “”You couldn’t have been raped. No daughter of mine could have been raped. That is not the way I brought you up.”” instead of comfort or empathy. One of the more difficult passages to read, it embodies the fear and reality so many rape survivors endure when telling their truth. 

A poet with three published collections before, Shónẹ́yìn’s debut novel, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives is a revealing read that balances literary fiction with popular success. I highly suggest it to anyone looking for something riveting, moving, and still meaningful.

Memorable Quotes
“You see,  when the world owes you as much as it owes me, you need a base from which you can call in your debts.”
“I reasoned that if I strengthened my thigh muscles, it would make it difficult for anyone to force my legs apart like they did in my dreams.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives
Author: Lọlá Shónẹ́yìn
Publisher: WilliamMorrow
Copyright: 2010
ISBN: 9780063072329

11..., Lifestyle

11… Fun Facts I Know and Love to Share

RaeAnna

I am a huge fan of knowledge. It’s really the reason I love to read. I want to know everything about anything. As a kid, I’m pretty sure I took “knowledge is power” literally, and I’m not sure I ever stopped. Knowing things makes me feel more secure in the world; I don’t mind not knowing things or the absence of knowledge. 

Me trying my super hardest to soak up all the knowledge.

The invention of the internet then high-speed internet then smartphones has made my pursuit of knowledge so much easier. If I don’t know something, I pull out my phone and do a quick Google search. Some of the things I learn stick for good, others may not. I grew up in the era before home computers were everywhere. Hell, I grew up when cell phones were a luxury. If I wanted to know something, I had to open a book or a dictionary. Now, my home had a dictionary and an encyclopedia, but those only do so much. So I kept a notebook with a list of things I wanted to know, and when we would take our frequent trips to the library, I would find the answers to my questions. 

Instant gratification did not exist as a child on my search for knowledge; however, it does now. And I take full advantage of Google. My search history is diverse and sometimes a bit frenetic. “David Bowie’s birthday” may be followed by “who founded quantum physics” followed by “what gun did Billy the Kid use.” Why oh why do I need to know these things? Frankly, I don’t. But I want to. I like finding answers to my questions. I like collecting information. I like being the person who is full of random facts. 

I have been called a know-it-all. I used to say “Well, actually” with my pointer finger extended. Then I realized that’s incredibly off putting. So I replaced “well, actually” with “fun fact!” and jazz hands because I have to gesticulate when I speak. Sometimes I don’t even realize I know something about a topic until someone says something, and I realize I have a factoid to add to their statement… Or correct their statement to make it factually correct.

When people find out I’m a knowledge nerd, a perpetual learner, an eternal student, a seeker of truth, they often want to know some fun facts. I realized it’s rather difficult to come up with fun facts on the spot when not prompted by conversation or information. So I compiled a handful of fun facts that I can spout at a moment’s notice. Some of these are fun facts and others are just facts that I like to tell people are fun because knowledge is cool, and no one can tell me different.  

  1. The pound sign, or hashtag if you will, was originally called the octothorp. Yes, it is also known as the number sign. The symbol itself has roots dating back to ancient Rome, the modern incarnation can be seen in variations since 1850. There wasn’t an official name for the symbol, which appeared on the bottom right of a telephone keypad. So Don MacPherson, a Bell Telephone Laboratories engineer, created the term octothorp. Octo- for the eight points in the symbol and -thorp in honor of Olympic medalist Jim Thorp. There you have it.
  2. Qatar, Monaco, and Cuba have the highest number of doctors per capita at 77, 71, and 67 respectively. 
  3. Magnolia trees are older than bees. They were [probably] pollinated by beetles until bees evolved and started pollinating the flowers and plants of the world. 
  4. The average international height of men is 5’7.5”, but average height varies drastically throughout the world. Timor has the shortest men on average, and the Netherlands boast the tallest average men. 
  5. David Bowie had heterochromia, which is an eye condition causing the eyes to be two different colors. It is very rare in humans, but it is far more common in animals. Several dog breeds see frequent occurrences of the condition, such as: Huskies, Border Collies, and Australian Shepherds.
  6. French and Russian have a lot of cognates, or words that sound similar and mean the same thing. I could get into the history of the two countries and how that affected Russian’s linguistic evolution but that’s another story entirely.
  7. Queen Elizabeth I died on March 24, 1603, which is exactly 391 years before my little brother was born on the same day. 
  8. Women are 73% more likely to be injured in a car accident than men. Funny, men and women have different insides, but crash test dummies are all modeled after the male anatomy. The crash test dummies used for women in cars are just small men. Cars are literally not designed to protect women. This isn’t necessarily on purpose, but data bias is a real thing and causes real, inherent problems in the world. But you know, we’re just women.
  9. Dr. Jen Gunter, a respected gynecologist, said that menstrual cramps are much more painful than a heart attack. Take this with a grain of salt because heart attacks in women often come with no pain because, SHOCKER, heart attack symptoms are different in men and women. Still menstrual cramps can be absolutely debilitating; I speak from experience. 
  10. Nigeria has been home to some of the most famous African writers, and many are of Igbo descent. Chinua Achebe, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Flora Nwapa, Christopher Okigbo are among them.
  11. One of the ways scientists proved all human life originated in Africa is through study of linguistic evolution, also known as evolutionary linguistics. Language originated in Southern Africa and evolved uniquely into families with specific characters. As humans dispersed, their language evolved and became simpler. Languages tend to lose phonemes, a distinct unit of sound, as they evolve away from their mother language. Africa is home to languages with more phonemes than other continents/countries and their languages. Like any science, this is a whole lot more complicated and fascinating than I’m making it. Today, the Taa language, spoken by people in Botswana and Namibia, has the most phonemes with a total of between 93 and 109, depending on the source. Rotokas, native to Papua New Guinea, has the least phonemes at eleven. 

Yes. I really know all of these things off the top of my head. I did fact check to make sure my knowledge wasn’t outdated, but these are things my brain has decided are important enough to store long term. I’m not complaining; though, I look like a real nerd, which is on brand for me. 

I love to learn. Some of these things directly correlate to my interests: women’s issues, books, and history. Some of these things were researched because it had something to do with my education: linguistics, language, and words. Yet some, I just have no idea why I know them other than I probably looked it up once upon a time, and it stuck. Permanently in my noggin. 

So I hope you enjoyed and learned a thing. Maybe this even sparked a sense of wonder and will elicit some random Googling and dives down the knowledge acquisition rabbit hole. Either way, I like fun facts!

bisous un обьятий,
RaeAnna

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