Books, NonFiction

Laura Lippman’s Feminist Revolution in My Life as a Villainess

Worth A Read Yes
Length 384
Quick Review Laura Lippman has made a career creating villains and taking them down in her novels. At sixty years old, she has found herself a villainess. The real, living breathing kind.

My Life as a Villainess by Laura Lippman is a fantastic memoir. | Skirt | Top |

Laura Lippman is a badass and proves it on every page of her memoir, My Life as a Villainess

At sixty, Lippman loves herself; that—in and of itself—is a feminist revolution and reason enough to be deemed a ‘villainess.’ She knows it and doesn’t shy away from the ugly truth of being a woman daring to age instead of keeling over dead at 29, “Every day, everywhere I go, the culture is keen to remind me how repulsive I am.” The level of transparency she takes on is incredible. Tackling womanhood head on and all that it encompasses, age, money, body image, career, marriage, motherhood; nothing is off limits, and she does through humor and razor sharp observations, “People talk about the White House distracting us, nothing has distracted me as much as this stupid battle with my weight and my looks, both of which are fine.” Honestly, though, if women (as a whole unit) focused more on the White House/Congress/Policy/Anything and less on contorting our bodies into unrealistic and often hostile conflicting expectations, we would get so much shit done. Lippman knows this and gets even more pointed about it the further on you read, “What would happen to the global economy if all the women on the planet suddenly decided: I don’t care if you think I’m fuckable.”

Motherhood is often looked at as a necessary milestone to leveling up to real womanhood. *cough* *cough* Crap. Sorry was that unladylike? I don’t care. No matter how a woman chooses to live her life, as a mother or not, she will never do it right or well enough in the court of public opinion. Lippman became a mother at 51 and that journey came with its fair share of trials and tribulations. She doesn’t shy away from the role money played in becoming a mom later than most. Her transparency about the fact her family’s hard work led to the financial ability of being able to create a family on their own terms is admirable. She doesn’t apologize for having money or using it to become a mom, nor should she. Women are often pressured to apologize for anything and everything especially when it pertains to taking control over their own bodies, desires, and motherhood. 

Lippman is going through life on her own terms and experiencing it through the lens of a funny writer with a legacy of talented writers, her father being a journalist. Menopause and social opinion of menopause does not escape her scrutiny, “Menopause doesn’t make women want to die. It makes other people wish we would die, or at least disappear.” With a journalist’s background, she did her research. Humans and pilot whales experience menopause. Why? There is no answer or reason that science has come up with yet (which is another topic entirely: the lack of female research and representation in scientific data and interest, but I’m off topic now), but Lippman has her own theory, and you’ll have to read her book to find out what it is. You’ll enjoy it, unless you have no sense of humor.

It’s not all fun and games. Lippman takes on topics of being a bad friend, her competitive streak, and sexual harassment. These are all things humans and women struggle and live with daily. One of the most poignant and moving moments is when Lippman writes, “It was never about what I was wearing. It wasn’t even about me. That was the hardest lesson to learn.” It’s advice I have given in my own words to many women and girls. We are women. We are strong. But we exist in a world that does not respect our right to exist. The world tears us down and makes us small. The act of being ourselves, taking up space, and living our lives is an act of rebellion. It is the essence of being a villainess. 

I strive to be a villainess in my own life… and hopefully the world. | Skirt | Top | Sunglasses |

My Life as a Villainess is a documentation of Lippman’s journey to being a self-assured and confident woman with a whole lot of life behind and ahead of her. All the while telling her story, she dares the reader to ask themselves: What do I want? What do I really want? Whether it’s food, a career, children, travel, money, whatever. Ask. What do I want? What does my body really want. What does my mind want. All the time. Never cease asking or growing into the villainess every woman should strive to be: an authentic version of our truest selves.

I strongly recommend every woman who isn’t going to die before their teenage years come to an end read this book. Women and girls need to see strong, unapologetic, successful, interesting women, who have created their own paths in life, and Lippman is just that. She’s not perfect. In fact, she’s a mess, which makes her more relatable and worthy of being a role model. My Life as a Villainess is a phenomenal memoir about existing as a woman in the world.

Memorable Quotes
“If grudge-holding count for cardio, I’d have run the equivalent of many Boston marathons by now.”
“That’s the final step in accepting one’s gorgeousness. You then have to concede everyone is gorgeous.”
“Social media can take a friendship only so far.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: My Life as a Villainess
Author: Laura Lippman
Publisher: William Morrow (HarperCollins)

Copyright: 2020
ISBN: 9780062997333

Books, NonFiction

Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino

Worth A Read Definitely
Length 303
Quick Review Jia Tolentino is the kind of writer who proves the pen can be sharper than a sword. She cuts through bullshit in Trick Mirror, her collection of observational essays on American culture. 

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Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino

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Reading Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino | Skirt | Shirt | Watch | Earrings | Ring

I want to be Jia Tolentino’s friend. a) I think we have a lot in common. b) She’s probably smarter than me, so she’d be interesting to talk to. c) I have a feeling she’s hilarious. Tolentino is a writer for The New Yorker, and after reading Trick Mirror, I’m not surprised. It is a brilliant combination of observation and critique of modern American culture. She spares no one, including herself, as tackles reality TV, politics, feminism, marriage, poverty, religion, the housing crisis, college debt, and so much more. 

Trick Mirror is like reading a book about sticking it to the man, but really it’s about the institution of everything. Tolentino has strong opinions but the brains and eloquence to back them up. I have a huge list of quotes, and I could probably discuss this book at length, but I will keep this manageable.

Tolentino is a strong, independent woman, and it oozes through in every part of her writing. For me, the most memorable moments spoke to feminism and gender inequity. Women are at a disadvantage in this world; that’s not knew. Tolentino brings a beautiful perspective to the issue laced with anger. 

“When you are a woman, the things you like get used against you. Or, alternatively, the things that get used against you have all been prefigured as things you should like. Sexual availability falls into this category. So does basic kindness, and generosity. Wanting to look good – taking pleasure in trying to look good – does, too.”

Basically. You’re fucked if you do, fucked if you don’t. In a busy world of technology and the constant need to go, improve, work, and succeed, optimization seems to be on everyone’s mind. It is even more prevalent for women. 

“The ideal woman has always been conceptually overworked, an inorganic thing engineered to look natural. Historically, the ideal woman seeks all the things that women are trained to find fun and interesting – domesticity, physical self-improvement, male approval, the maintenance of congeniality, various forms of unpaid work. The concept of the ideal woman is just flexible enough to allow for a modicum of individuality; the ideal woman always believes she came up with herself on her own.”

There has always been a pressure on women, but it has never existed like it does today with the advent of technology and social media. Women are under constant scrutiny from the people they know to complete strangers. Tolentino speaks about the oppression and subjugation women deal with on a daily basis masquerading as free will, love, freedom, and more. I personally identified with the very last chapter, “I Thee Dread” and the sentiment “becoming a bride still means being flattered into submission.” Tolentino doesn’t even spare love. 

Fun fact I previously didn’t know: Louisiana still requires children to take the husband’s last name for a birth certificate to be issued. Fuck Louisiana! 

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I read a lot. My favorite books tend to be classical literature. In the span of a few paragraphs, Trick Mirror discusses all of my favorite books: House of Mirth, Tess of the D’Urbervilles, Madame Bovary, The Awakening, The Second Sex, and Tolentino sums up the plight of female characters quite nicely, “Adult heroines commit suicide for different reasons than teenage heroines do. Where the teenagers have been drained of all desire, the adults are so full of desire that it kills them. Or, rather, they live under conditions where ordinary desire makes them fatally monstrous.”

If you’re into essays, nonfiction, or reading about how fucked up society is, Jia Tolentino and Trick Mirror are for you. She’s witty and engaging. Bringing her personal stories and rooting them in the problems the world. She’s relatable and interesting. I personally identified with the whole book, but I’ll leave you with this gem, “I don’t want to be diminished, and I do want to be glorified – not in one shining moment, but whenever I want.”

Memorable Quotes
” Even as we became increasingly sad and ugly on the internet, the mirage of the better online self continued to glimmer.”
“There was something, maybe, about that teenage religious environment, the way everyone was always flirting and posturing and attempting to deceive one another, that set us up remarkably well for reality TV.”
“The Trump administrations is so baldly anti-woman that the women within it have been regularly scanned and criticized for their complicity, as well as for their empty references to feminism.”

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Title: Trick Mirror; Reflections on Self Delusion
Author: Jia Tolentino
Publisher: Random House
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9780525510543