Books, NonFiction

Text Me When You Get Home by Kayleen Schaefer

Worth A Read Yes
Length 281
Quick Review Text me when you get home” is not just the title of Kayleen Schaefer’s book, it’s a phrase almost every woman has uttered for a lot of reasons, which Schaefer delves into in her look at modern womanhood and friendship. 

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Hanging out in a Houston Heights gazebo.
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Text Me When You Get Home by Kayleen Schaefer | Sunflower Set | Shoes | Purse | Bow | Bracelets | Sunglasses | Earrings 

Kayleen Schaefer had me at the title Text Me When You Get Home; The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship because it’s an evolution and triumph in my own life. As a woman who grew up with mostly guy friends, I have found myself solely surrounded by women in my adulthood. I grew up thinking I was a guy’s girl; it turns out I don’t miss being one of the guys at all. Schaefer describes the phenomenon women are experiencing: female friendship is awesome and nothing like the media has been portraying it. Reading Schaefer’s words feels like unraveling my complex emotions and opinions on more than just female friendships but also my own identity as a woman and writer living in a male dominated world.  

Text Me When You Get Home seems to be an anthem for women around the world “because women who say, “Text me when you get home,” aren’t just asking for reassurance that you’ve made it to your bed unharmed. It’s not only about safety. It’s about solidarity. It’s about us knowing how unsettling it can feel when you’ve been surrounded by friends and then are suddenly by yourself again. It’s about us understanding that women who are alone get unwanted attention and scrutiny.” I think we’re really saying I’m with you even when I can’t be with you.

Schaefer explores the complexities of female friendships and why they tend to seem so damn hard. It turns out, it’s really not our fault at all. Feminine self-hatred is so ingrained because: the media. At every angle, women are taught by the media that we’re catty, mean, unstable, crazy, hormonal, indecisive, and less successful. This ideology is forced down our throats so much it enters our conversations and how we interact with other women, which only reinforces these ideologies. The fact is, none of this is remotely true. It ends up being a cultural self-fulfilling prophecy rather than biological inability to love and support the ladies in our lives. 

Female friendships are more complicated and deeper than male friendships because women are willing to go deeper, do the work, and lean in to one another. Schaefer isn’t afraid to take on the hard topics in Text Me When You Get Home. Friendship is influenced by everything, and women have to overcome all of these difficult topics and societal failures in order to have a nurturing and wonderful relationship. From the data bias (explored in depth in Caroline Criado-Perez’s Invisible Women) to the biological “tend-and-befriend” response to New York City’s female only residences (Barbizon, the most famous, is featured in Fiona Davis’ The Dollhouse and was home to Silvia Plath) to marriage to feminism to careers. 

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Text Me When You Get Home by Kayleen Schaefer | Sunflower Set | Shoes | Purse | Bow | Bracelets | Sunglasses | Earrings

The most poignant moments in Text Me When You Get Home are when Schaefer talks about her personal experiences as a woman in a man’s world. The truly touching points involve her own evolution as a woman and discovery of female friendship. Female friends feed the soul in a way a man in any capacity is not able to, “I wanted my friends to consider me as necessary as they had become to me. I wanted them to know that these were long-term relationships and that I’d be there for them, too, in any way they might want.” 

In the past century, female friendship has been the in between; women are companions until a romantic partner is obtained. Historically this has never been true. The last century has seen women isolated and conditioned to depend on men in ways we never have as a gender in order to keep the status quo for as long as possible. This new generation of women is calling bullshit. We’re showing up for the good and the bad. We’re saying Text Me When You Get Home.

Memorable Quotes
“Men do not tell their friends to text them when they get home.”
“My friends took me out of the way I was taught to be and turned me into something better.”
“I thought making friends with women would interfere with my career in more ways than just distracting me from work. I thought if I wanted to be a writer, I had to look to men. That’s because real writers were men. No one told me this. They didn’t have to.”
“Marriage was something to look forward to, I was taught. Without a husband, you were supposed to feel incomplete.”
“For the first time in my life, I treated pursuing and tending to friendships seriously.”
“Women aren’t allowed to be jealous, angry, or vengeful, at least if we want to go on being seen as good girls.”
“It’s the incongruity between stopping ourselves from seeming anything but pleasant while ambitious, on one hand, and the belief that all women can’t have good things, on the other, that creates frenemies.”
“We can be protectors.”

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Title: Text Me When You Get Home; The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship
Author: Kayleen Schaefer
Publisher: Dutton (Penguin Random House)
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9781101986141

Books, Fiction

The Dollhouse by Fiona Davis

Worth A Read Meh
Length 289
Quick Review The Barbizon is now condos but used to house hundreds of girls looking to make it in NYC. What happens when the lives of a long-time resident and new resident collide?

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The Dollhouse by Fiona Davis

The Barbizon really did exist as a women’s only residence in New York City. In 2005, the building was converted into condominiums. Fiona Davis creates a world where the two identities of the Barbizon meet in her novel The Dollhouse. A mystery with a touch of love and a lot of independent women searching for belonging. 

Rose, a journalist, lives in the Barbizon with her boyfriend in 2016. Her boyfriend decides to go back to his ex-wife, Rose is left with a lot of time on her hands and a curiosity about the women who have been in her building for decades. Darby, an elderly tenant, never leaves her apartment without a veil, and the mystery piques Roses interest. Models, night clubs, drug raids, friendship, and more. Rose is on a journalist’s hunt with a personal investment. 

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Davis crafts the plot of The Dollhouse well. The chapters alternate between following Rose in 2016 and Darby in 1952. There is restraint in the story telling and tries to add some good twists, but I found the plot fairly predictable. 

 Overall The Dollhouse maintains a nice pace throughout the story and avoids clichés until the last five pages when she throws a good book in the toilet. I actually did not mind this one at all, but the last bit just ruined it for me. Davis does a good job maintaining a consistent and interesting pace, but the ending comes quickly and suddenly. It’s as if her editor asked her to wrap everything up with a nice bow and throw the love story completely out of proportion with the rest of the story. It was saccharine and a little vomit inducing how spoonfed it was. What was an interesting story about finding oneself and relationships between women ended up being a deflated mess of an ooey-gooey love story. 

If I could erase the last five pages, I would like The Dollhouse much better. I’m trying not to let the ending overpower the other nice 200 or so pages, but I can’t. 

Memorable Quotes
“His eyes, which were the color of seawater, had a laserlike intensity that made politics the obvious career choice. That or terrorist interrogator.”
“Not scared of change, like Darby was, but scared of staying put, staying unchanged.”

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Title: The Dollhouse
Author: Fiona Davis
Publisher: Dutton
Copyright: 2016
ISBN: 9781101984994

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Books

lost & found

Read: Yes
Length: 310
Quick Review: When Millie’s mother abandons her, she accidentally gathers a small and unlikely group of friends and protectors.

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lost & found is nothing short of witty and inventive. Brooke Davis is a beautiful story teller; although, her name makes me think of “One Tree Hill.” A quick read full of humor, insight, and struggle. I enjoyed reading it because it is fresh instead of a new take on an old story. I haven’t read much, if any that I can think of, Australian literature, so it was great dipping a toe into the unfamiliar.

Millie is a little girl obsessed with dead things. In her notebook, she keeps a list of all the dead things she has seen including her dog, Rambo, and her dad. Her mother abandons her at a store one day. Karl the Touch Typist is old. He has lost his wife, but he and Millie become friends over snacks. Agatha Pantha is a Millie’s elderly, shut-in of a neighbor since her husband died. Each of the characters are eccentric and lost in their own grief. They’re an odd group, but somehow they complete each other.  

Davis has a wickedly funny, observational sense of humor as each of the characters describe their views of the world from often overlooked age groups. It’s hard to think the story of an abandoned little girl is funny, but it is; not the fact she was abandoned, but the way the story is told.

I love that the main characters are from age groups seldomly written as protagonists. As an adult, it’s hard to get into the brain space of a child and an older person – we haven’t been there yet. They are groups of people who are overlooked, underappreciated, and greatly underestimated. It was lovely watching these characters, who usually fly under the radar, be so full of life.

The chapters are fairly short and told from each characters’ perspective. The language is simple and to the point. There are great humorous moments and a style all its own. lost & found is a great read if you want to laugh. It’s also a great book to get through on an afternoon after work.    

Memorable Quotes:
I am never going to have sex again, he says. Not with this face.
“And then they do IT, because even old people call it IT.”

Title: lost & found
Author: Brooke Davis
Publisher: Dutton (Penguin Group)
Copyright:2015
ISBN: 9780525954682