Books, NonFiction

How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi

Worth A Read Yes
Length 320
Quick Review “Not Racist” is inherently racist. We’re all racist, but some of us are actively fighting against racism in the world and within ourselves, and that’s called antiracism.

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Reading How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi in Houston, Texas. | Dress  | Headband |

 

I didn’t know who Ibram X. Kendi was until this book. Now I’m a fan. I would love to go to coffee with him and discuss racism, history, and the meaning of life. He seems like the kind of guy who will point out how you’re being an asshole and let you grow from it because he spends How to Be an Antiracist pointing out the times he was a racist and grew from it. These are my favorite people; the people who acknowledge their growth by admitting the reality of their pasts. If only all of history could do the same, the world would be in a much better place. Books like this one are a step in that direction. It calls attention to history at large and personal to demonstrate and juxtapose how the two intertwine and affect each other. History is an amalgam of individual’s choices for good or bad, and all of those choices converge to create society, thought, and policy, which in turn influence individual choice for good or bad. 

Kendi doesn’t state anything revolutionary. If you’re tuned into policy, psychology, history, anthropology, sexuality, philology, African/African-American studies, sociology, gender studies, feminism, ethnic studies, etc., you’ll be aware of most of the topics and ideas in How to Be an Antiracist. The difference is in the wording. Kendi writes clearly and effectively, saying what he means even, especially, when it makes people uncomfortable. I had to stop taking notes and writing down quotes because there were so many poignant moments of blatant honesty. He names things as they are instead of finding a polite way of identifying racism, “Only racists shy away from the R-word – racism is steeped in denial.” As a writer, linguist, and reader, I’m a words person. I like them to be exact, and Kendi is the same. I love that Kendi does not like the word “microaggression” because of its inexactness. As an advocate, I have always used the exact words to describe things because anything else gives room for people to make excuses and shirk personal responsibility. Kendi calls racism racism, especially when it makes people uncomfortable. I’ve always believed people are uncomfortable because they can see themselves in it. 

How to Be an Antiracist is told through personal anecdotes, world history, policy, and culture. Kendi points out what’s wrong with society, policy, and everything by pointing out the ways he has had to face and overcome his own racism while breaking stereotypes, destroying myths, and shedding light on the truth. 

The book is pretty much summed up in the quote, “We know how to be racist. We know how to pretend to be not racist. Now let’s know how to be antiracist.” For more clarification on the term antiracist and the title, this quote speaks for itself,

“The opposite of “racist” isn’t “not racist.” It is “antiracist.” What’s the difference? One endorses either the  of racial hierarchy as a racist, or racial equality as an antiracist. One either believes problems are rooted in groups of people, as a racist, or locates the roots of problems in power and policies, as an antiracist. One either allows racial inequities to persevere, as a racist, or confronts racial inequities, as an antiracist. There is no inbetween safe space of “not racist.” The claim of “not racist” neutrality is a mask for racism.”

How to Be an Antiracist is intellectually stimulating and emotionally draining. Racism is rampant, systemic, cyclical, institutional, and ingrained in culture, history, religion, and policy. So many lines felt like a punch to the chest. I will never have to live in a world where my skin is viewed as a crime and a threat. I will never be able to comprehend that kind of pain, but Kendi’s words cut, making me ache to hug the pain away for every person who has been wronged, forgotten, abused, and left behind. I was also left to question, ‘What would I have done in that White person’s shoes. Would I make those same racist choices? Or would I have been better, done better?’  

Not only is Kendi a brilliant writer and scholar, he is a role model. Everyone has internal biases, which is a nice way of saying: we’re all racists. It’s hard to confront the ugly parts of ourselves, but society can’t move forward until we do so. Kendi is setting an example and a new standard for the way allies, advocates, and activists create change. He does so from the very first page in his introduction where he calls himself out for his racist ideas and misconceptions about the community he belongs to.

People often think books about racism or Black culture are antiwhite, but that, in and of itself, is a racist idea. As How to Be an Antiracist states, “The only thing wrong with White people is when they embrace racist ideas and policies and then deny their ideas and policies are racist.” Calling attention to racism is just that: calling attention to racism. It doesn’t matter your background, ethnicity, education, intelligence, skin color, we are all capable of being racist, but we are all capable of combating that and being antiracist. 

Memorable Quotes
“Internalized racism is the real Black on Black crime.”
“Racism itself is institutional, structural, and systemic.”
“The Black child is ill-treated like an adult, and the Black adult is ill-treated like a child.”
“Racist ideas make people of color think less of themselves, which makes them more vulnerable to racist ideas. Racist ideas make White people think more of themselves, which further attracts them to racist ideas.”
“The use of standardized tests to measure aptitude and intelligence is one of the most effective racist policies ever devised to degrade Black minds and legally exclude Black bodies.”
“Racist ideas love believers, not thinkers.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: How to Be An Antiracist
Author: Ibram X. Kendi
Publisher: One World (Penguin Random House)
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9780525509288

Books, NonFiction

The Black Book

Worth A Read Yes
Length 224
Quick Review A heartbreaking history of Africans’ struggle to gain humanity, recognition, rights, and the hope for equality in America from 1619 through the 1940s. 

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The Black Book is a devastating history lesson. | Dress | Sweater | Purse | Glasses | Shoes |

The Black Book is absolutely soul crushing and devastating. I read it through tears and fought back bouts of nausea. It is incredibly affecting. I have too many feelings and a lot of guilt during and after reading. I can’t get the words or the images out of my mind. 

Tony Morrison prefaces the book with an incredibly powerful piece. It took my breath away, and I was only on page one. 

History is white-washed more often than not. We have a tendency to romanticize and paint a much prettier picture than the realities people endured. This is particularly atrocious throughout American history and the treatment of the black community. The Black Book is dedicated to an honest history and depiction of life and society. Though it’s not a happy picture, it’s a picture deserving to be told and heard and taught. If history is not learned, it’s doomed to be repeated. We cannot repeat the history contained within these pages. 

The book contains first pictures, news articles, poems, songs, advertisements, excerpts, laws, myths, patents, facts, sports, legends, religion, and so much more. History is being told through the lens of the time period. There is no explanation. The editors give the reader the information and allow them to take away what they will. Although, it would be hard to read it without having a horrible view on history. The editors do not edit or politically correctisize (it’s a word now) the word usage. Racist words and expressions are kept to reflect the times and the hatred the black community faced. 

Death is better than slavery was a recurring theme throughout. There are stories of men and women fighting back, running away, supporting one another, and standing up for themselves and their community. For all the awfulness throughout The Black Book, there is more time spent highlighting the successes and brilliance of the black community than the nightmares imposed by the white people who dictated society. 

There is no part of society that has not been touched and improved by a black person. Throughout history they have fought for the basic right to exist and fought their way into every sphere of culture. Not only were they a part of these spheres, they excelled when everyone told them they couldn’t and weren’t allowed. The Black Book is a testament to black excellence in the face of oppression, violence, and subjugation. For the few who found success, changed culture, opened minds, and affected the law, there are thousands upon millions more who never received the chance. History is a horror, but it can teach us to learn from the mistakes already made. 

I have no doubt, you will be haunted by The Black Book if you take the time to read it, and I highly suggest you do. I finished it with tears in my eyes and hope in my heart. The world is changing. Not as fast as it should, but it is changing. Maybe someday, The Black Book will be a distant memory, but that day is not today. We can still feel the echoes of history loudly in our culture.  

Memorable Quotes
“Steal away, steal away, steal away home. I ain’t got long to stay here.”
“They failed to ask my name and called me negro.” Henry Dumas

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: The Black Book
Editor: Middleton A. Harris, Morris Levitt, Roger Furman
Publisher: Random House
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9781400068487

Books, NonFiction

The Cartiers by Francesca Cartier Brickell

Worth A Read Yes
Length 656
Quick Review Not only is it a history of an incredible family, it’s a history of the world and how they changed it through their creative genius, and kindness.

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The Cartiers by Francesca Cartier Brickell talks about drawing inspiration from the world, and I’m always inspired by animals. | Flannel Shirt | Sweater Dress | Hunter Boots | Headband |

Cartier has come to signify opulence and timelessness. The brand continues to be one of the most globally recognizable. It all started with Louis-François Cartier in Paris in 1847. The family history of the great jewelry brand is told in The Cartiers by one of the founders direct descendants. Francesca Cartier Brickell is the great-great-great granddaughter of Louis-François Cartier and granddaughter to the last Cartier to control the family business. The book began when Brickell found a long lost box of letters hidden in the wine cellar at her grandfather’s birthday party. Brickell began reading and piecing together her family’s history like the beautiful mystery it is. 

Cartier had humble beginnings. Louis-François Cartier grew up poor and learned the trade before fighting to open his own store. His son Alfred joined the business, helping it grow into something larger and more renowned. Louis, Pierre, and Jacques, Alfred’s three sons, joined the company; they would be the people who took the company from nationally beloved to a global powerhouse. 

The reason Cartier became Cartier is because of their dedication to kindness and discretion. Kindness was of the utmost importance from the company’s origins, “”Be very kind,” Louis-François would advise his son, Alfred, outlining a key tenet of his life’s philosophy.” A willingness to adopt new technologies also played an integral role, “Cartier was one of the first firms to have electricity in Paris.” They were able to create new technologies, which enabled them to create stunning jewelry never seen before. It also helped that the Cartier children made advantageous marriages within the fashion and aristocratic elite. The atmosphere also created the company, “Cartier became like an extended family as staff were united by their shared experiences. It wasn’t just the designers, craftsmen, and salesmen who became close, but their wives and children too.” Fathers and sons would work side-by-side in the workshops and sales floors. The Cartiers were able to find talent and nurture it in each other and their craftsmen. 

Family came first in the Cartier family, and they were unified. The company lasted three generations. The fourth did not grow up together, so they did not have the same affinity for family unity their fathers had. It would eventually be their downfall.

Francesca Cartier Brickell does an amazing job pulling the reader into the story. Her personal investment in the history she told seeps through every word. She talks about her ancestors with compassion and reverence even when she tells the uglier sides of the story. She shares amazing anecdotes about the clients who frequented and who famously did not. There is a focus on the third generation with the three brothers and their contributions. Louis, Pierre, and Jacques were all visionaries in their own right. It was the generation which made Cartier iconic, but it is also the generation she had a connection to. Her grandfather was the eldest son of Jacques, and she learned much through conversations with him.

The book contains beautiful moments of insight into the family’s life. Brickell excerpts from letters between the family and other significant people in their lives. There are boxes containing “Conversations with Jean-Jacques,” Brickell’s grandfather, the last Cartier to run the business. These moments give Jean-Jacques’ personal opinions, thoughts on jewelry pieces, the family, business, history, and more. They are poignant and beautiful. Cartier is known for spectacular jewelry worn by the wealthiest and most important people in history. Jewelry spotlights discuss some of the most unique, challenging or memorable pieces they made.   

One of the most repeated phrases in the book was the phase upheld by the company and the family, “Never copy, only create.” They drew inspiration from the world, history, and other cultures, but they never copied or drew inspiration from other jewelry or designers. Creating was their purpose in life, and they did just that. 

The Cartiers is a story of the world’s elite social and political life as much as it is the story of the Cartier family and business. Francesca Cartier Brickell paints a beautiful story of a complicated family who defied the odds to become the greatest craftsmen in the world to create for Kings and Presidents and Sultans and the wealthiest men and women in the world. 

Fun Fact The New York office, still standing and used today, was traded for a pearl necklace. The necklace was traded on behalf of Maisie Plant by her husband Morton Plant in 1916. The necklace would go on to be a fraction of the price a few years later because cultured pearls were created. The trade for the building on 5th Avenue was one of the savviest business deals made by Cartier and possibly in history. “…it wasn’t as absurd as it sounds today. Buildings, after all, could be built or rebuilt, but finding a perfect natural pearl could take months, even years. And finding enough good-quality perfectly matched pearls for a necklace, well, that could take decades.” Jean-Jacques Cartier

Memorable Quotes
“Every piece was unique.”
“Despite the widespread changes in society after the First World War, an innate snobbery persisted in blue-blooded aristocratic circles.”
“Never copy, only create.”

bisous und обьятий,
RaeAnna

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Title: The Cartiers; The Untold Story of the Family Behind the Jewelry Empire
Author: Francesca Cartier Brickell
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9780525351614

Books, Fiction

You Think It, I’ll Say It by Curtis Sittenfeld

Worth a Read Yes
Length 256
Quick Review A collection of short stories chronicling and eviscerating characters navigating everyday problems of the modern era and socioeconomic status, gender, and love.

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You Think It, I’ll Say It by Curtis Sittenfeld | Dress | Earrings | Basket | Watch | Flower Crown
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You Think It, I’ll Say It by Curtis Sittenfeld in a basket of flowers.
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You Think It, I’ll Say It by Curtis Sittenfeld | Dress | Earrings | Basket | Watch | Flower Crown

Curtis Sittenfeld is one of my favorite authors; I have several of her novels sitting on my bookshelves – only one is unread. I came upon her writing in The New Yorker a few years ago, and I have been a huge fan ever since. In my opinion, she is one of the best contemporary writers. There is no hesitation in her stories to put words to thoughts, emotions, and judgements just about everyone can identify with. Her short story collection, You Think It, I’ll Say Itis no different.    

I was familiar with one of the stories in the book because The Prairie Wife had previously been published in The New Yorker, but that didn’t stop me from reading it again. 

Every story is told from the first person perspective. Sittenfeld has the ability to really bring the reader into the mindset of the character in that moment of their lives without having to spell everything or give an overwhelming amount of backstory. There is a rare artistry in the way she portrays each person with their own way of speaking, thinking, and processing the situations they find themselves in. Every story and character is a critique on the modern world and society; in one way or another, there is an essence of You Think It, I’ll Say It

Sittenfeld tackles the subjects of marriage, emotional infidelity, class, education, gender roles, sex, finances, and so much more. Each story creates a picture of what living in today’s world looks like and our unique ability to silently watch and judge the entire world’s actions from the comfort of our own homes. 

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You Think It, I’ll Say It by Curtis Sittenfeld in a basket of flowers.

Relationships are at the center of You Think It, I’ll Say It, whether they are romantic or platonic relationships. Relationships are at the center of being human. Sittenfeld has no problem completely eviscerating her characters, their choices, and their motivations. It’s entertaining to read, but is entirely all too relatable. 

I really loved reading this collection of short stories. They’re beautifully told. Perfect for the moments you don’t have time to emotionally invest yourself in a novel, but you want something engaging and thought provoking. You Think It, I’ll Say It has everything I want in fiction. 

Memorable Quotes
“It’s not that she’s unaware that she’s an elitist asshole. She’s aware! She’s just powerless not to be one.”
“It turned out that simply by celebrating this particular birthday, I’d crossed some border of nonconformity, and while I still could – can – turn around, retrace my steps, and assume citizenship in the nation of wedlock, the expectation seems to be that I won’t.”

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Title: You Think It, I’ll Say It
Author: Curtis Sittenfeld
Publisher: Random House
Copyright: 2018
ISBN: 9780525508700

Books, NonFiction

Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino

Worth A Read Definitely
Length 303
Quick Review Jia Tolentino is the kind of writer who proves the pen can be sharper than a sword. She cuts through bullshit in Trick Mirror, her collection of observational essays on American culture. 

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Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino
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Reading Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino | Skirt | Shirt | Watch | Earrings | Ring

I want to be Jia Tolentino’s friend. a) I think we have a lot in common. b) She’s probably smarter than me, so she’d be interesting to talk to. c) I have a feeling she’s hilarious. Tolentino is a writer for The New Yorker, and after reading Trick Mirror, I’m not surprised. It is a brilliant combination of observation and critique of modern American culture. She spares no one, including herself, as tackles reality TV, politics, feminism, marriage, poverty, religion, the housing crisis, college debt, and so much more. 

Trick Mirror is like reading a book about sticking it to the man, but really it’s about the institution of everything. Tolentino has strong opinions but the brains and eloquence to back them up. I have a huge list of quotes, and I could probably discuss this book at length, but I will keep this manageable.

Tolentino is a strong, independent woman, and it oozes through in every part of her writing. For me, the most memorable moments spoke to feminism and gender inequity. Women are at a disadvantage in this world; that’s not knew. Tolentino brings a beautiful perspective to the issue laced with anger. 

“When you are a woman, the things you like get used against you. Or, alternatively, the things that get used against you have all been prefigured as things you should like. Sexual availability falls into this category. So does basic kindness, and generosity. Wanting to look good – taking pleasure in trying to look good – does, too.”

Basically. You’re fucked if you do, fucked if you don’t. In a busy world of technology and the constant need to go, improve, work, and succeed, optimization seems to be on everyone’s mind. It is even more prevalent for women. 

“The ideal woman has always been conceptually overworked, an inorganic thing engineered to look natural. Historically, the ideal woman seeks all the things that women are trained to find fun and interesting – domesticity, physical self-improvement, male approval, the maintenance of congeniality, various forms of unpaid work. The concept of the ideal woman is just flexible enough to allow for a modicum of individuality; the ideal woman always believes she came up with herself on her own.”

There has always been a pressure on women, but it has never existed like it does today with the advent of technology and social media. Women are under constant scrutiny from the people they know to complete strangers. Tolentino speaks about the oppression and subjugation women deal with on a daily basis masquerading as free will, love, freedom, and more. I personally identified with the very last chapter, “I Thee Dread” and the sentiment “becoming a bride still means being flattered into submission.” Tolentino doesn’t even spare love. 

Fun fact I previously didn’t know: Louisiana still requires children to take the husband’s last name for a birth certificate to be issued. Fuck Louisiana! 

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I read a lot. My favorite books tend to be classical literature. In the span of a few paragraphs, Trick Mirror discusses all of my favorite books: House of Mirth, Tess of the D’Urbervilles, Madame Bovary, The Awakening, The Second Sex, and Tolentino sums up the plight of female characters quite nicely, “Adult heroines commit suicide for different reasons than teenage heroines do. Where the teenagers have been drained of all desire, the adults are so full of desire that it kills them. Or, rather, they live under conditions where ordinary desire makes them fatally monstrous.”

If you’re into essays, nonfiction, or reading about how fucked up society is, Jia Tolentino and Trick Mirror are for you. She’s witty and engaging. Bringing her personal stories and rooting them in the problems the world. She’s relatable and interesting. I personally identified with the whole book, but I’ll leave you with this gem, “I don’t want to be diminished, and I do want to be glorified – not in one shining moment, but whenever I want.”

Memorable Quotes
” Even as we became increasingly sad and ugly on the internet, the mirage of the better online self continued to glimmer.”
“There was something, maybe, about that teenage religious environment, the way everyone was always flirting and posturing and attempting to deceive one another, that set us up remarkably well for reality TV.”
“The Trump administrations is so baldly anti-woman that the women within it have been regularly scanned and criticized for their complicity, as well as for their empty references to feminism.”

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Title: Trick Mirror; Reflections on Self Delusion
Author: Jia Tolentino
Publisher: Random House
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9780525510543

Books, NonFiction

Text Me When You Get Home by Kayleen Schaefer

Worth A Read Yes
Length 281
Quick Review Text me when you get home” is not just the title of Kayleen Schaefer’s book, it’s a phrase almost every woman has uttered for a lot of reasons, which Schaefer delves into in her look at modern womanhood and friendship. 

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Hanging out in a Houston Heights gazebo.
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Text Me When You Get Home by Kayleen Schaefer | Sunflower Set | Shoes | Purse | Bow | Bracelets | Sunglasses | Earrings 

Kayleen Schaefer had me at the title Text Me When You Get Home; The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship because it’s an evolution and triumph in my own life. As a woman who grew up with mostly guy friends, I have found myself solely surrounded by women in my adulthood. I grew up thinking I was a guy’s girl; it turns out I don’t miss being one of the guys at all. Schaefer describes the phenomenon women are experiencing: female friendship is awesome and nothing like the media has been portraying it. Reading Schaefer’s words feels like unraveling my complex emotions and opinions on more than just female friendships but also my own identity as a woman and writer living in a male dominated world.  

Text Me When You Get Home seems to be an anthem for women around the world “because women who say, “Text me when you get home,” aren’t just asking for reassurance that you’ve made it to your bed unharmed. It’s not only about safety. It’s about solidarity. It’s about us knowing how unsettling it can feel when you’ve been surrounded by friends and then are suddenly by yourself again. It’s about us understanding that women who are alone get unwanted attention and scrutiny.” I think we’re really saying I’m with you even when I can’t be with you.

Schaefer explores the complexities of female friendships and why they tend to seem so damn hard. It turns out, it’s really not our fault at all. Feminine self-hatred is so ingrained because: the media. At every angle, women are taught by the media that we’re catty, mean, unstable, crazy, hormonal, indecisive, and less successful. This ideology is forced down our throats so much it enters our conversations and how we interact with other women, which only reinforces these ideologies. The fact is, none of this is remotely true. It ends up being a cultural self-fulfilling prophecy rather than biological inability to love and support the ladies in our lives. 

Female friendships are more complicated and deeper than male friendships because women are willing to go deeper, do the work, and lean in to one another. Schaefer isn’t afraid to take on the hard topics in Text Me When You Get Home. Friendship is influenced by everything, and women have to overcome all of these difficult topics and societal failures in order to have a nurturing and wonderful relationship. From the data bias (explored in depth in Caroline Criado-Perez’s Invisible Women) to the biological “tend-and-befriend” response to New York City’s female only residences (Barbizon, the most famous, is featured in Fiona Davis’ The Dollhouse and was home to Silvia Plath) to marriage to feminism to careers. 

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Text Me When You Get Home by Kayleen Schaefer | Sunflower Set | Shoes | Purse | Bow | Bracelets | Sunglasses | Earrings

The most poignant moments in Text Me When You Get Home are when Schaefer talks about her personal experiences as a woman in a man’s world. The truly touching points involve her own evolution as a woman and discovery of female friendship. Female friends feed the soul in a way a man in any capacity is not able to, “I wanted my friends to consider me as necessary as they had become to me. I wanted them to know that these were long-term relationships and that I’d be there for them, too, in any way they might want.” 

In the past century, female friendship has been the in between; women are companions until a romantic partner is obtained. Historically this has never been true. The last century has seen women isolated and conditioned to depend on men in ways we never have as a gender in order to keep the status quo for as long as possible. This new generation of women is calling bullshit. We’re showing up for the good and the bad. We’re saying Text Me When You Get Home.

Memorable Quotes
“Men do not tell their friends to text them when they get home.”
“My friends took me out of the way I was taught to be and turned me into something better.”
“I thought making friends with women would interfere with my career in more ways than just distracting me from work. I thought if I wanted to be a writer, I had to look to men. That’s because real writers were men. No one told me this. They didn’t have to.”
“Marriage was something to look forward to, I was taught. Without a husband, you were supposed to feel incomplete.”
“For the first time in my life, I treated pursuing and tending to friendships seriously.”
“Women aren’t allowed to be jealous, angry, or vengeful, at least if we want to go on being seen as good girls.”
“It’s the incongruity between stopping ourselves from seeming anything but pleasant while ambitious, on one hand, and the belief that all women can’t have good things, on the other, that creates frenemies.”
“We can be protectors.”

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Title: Text Me When You Get Home; The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship
Author: Kayleen Schaefer
Publisher: Dutton (Penguin Random House)
Copyright: 2019
ISBN: 9781101986141