I love dog mom clothes. It’s advertizing. It says “Hi, I love my dog more than I’ll ever love you.” It may also say, “Hi, I’m a crazy dog mom. Try me.” Okay. All it probably says is “I have a dog and enough money for this tshirt.” If you know me, I’ll personally tell you all three of those sentences, but the first is the most apropos.
I really love being a dog mom. It’s probably the most rewarding thing I will ever do in my entire life. I shouldn’t have children because I will probably always tell them I love them almost as much as the dog. Reasons why:
- Dogs clean their own butts. There’s a solid three-ish years you have to do that with the human children.
- Children are sticky. My dog has never been sticky. Not ever.
- I can put my dog in a box and leave for several hours. Children: Hello, CPS?
- Children are a lifelong commitment.
- I wish my dog was a lifelong commitment.
- Children can talk. My dog only barks when there is danger or she has to shit.
- Children will probably grow up to hate you in some small way. Beau only holds a grudge for 20 seconds.
- I can pack Beau up in the car and go anywhere anytime. Children have school and other boring crap I have to go to and be a part of.
- Waking up to my dog’s butthole is unpleasant, but it’s better than an expensive, sticky, talkative child.
I love kids. I think they’re super great. Especially when I can hand them back to their parents. Being Fun Aunt RaeAnna is my favorite thing to be to children. I can whoosh in with presents and fun times before whooshing out several days later. I’ll even take them for weeks at a time! My heart is with my dog. I love being her Mom more than anything. I love working from home because I get to cover Beau in kisses any time I want to.
I have been collecting Dog Mom clothes because it is my favorite part of my identity. Here are all the fun Dog Mom things I found!
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